There have been many posts on the web regarding West Africans,especially Nigerian men and their relationships with foreign women.However before i go on,i would like to restrict my post to heterosexual relationships and relationships exclusive to foreign women only.


In so many examples, it has come to be a close observation Nigerian men are mostly painted in not so good a light.All sorts of names calling,tags,labels,stereotyping,generalization, even crucifixion.

It begs as a food for thought, are all these conceptions and perceived notions been generally stamped on us true?
From West Africa to the Sub-Saharan,North America to the Caribbean, quite many of the stereotypes have been mind boggling whilst i need to ask? Are we worse off than men from all other continents? Could it be there are certain expectations of our supposed partners in relationship we could not meet up with?(examples,Nigerian men not allowing themselves to be manipulated or controlled by the foreign partners).

Also in so many instances,we have been accused of "using" these women for personal reasons such as "paper/permit". And once we obtain "the status" we care no more and then abscond.However,how many people have come out to declare such a union was in fact "an agreement between both parties with financial settlement"?And in such cases,most of our men have become 'hooked' as a result of pregnancy from such illicit union.Also,would it not be wonderful to inquire,why abandon women who had been 'good and helpful' to us,if indeed they are GOOD,in quote?

That aside,What about the situation where we genuinely are in love with these women,shower them with affection, make available resources within our means,i.e support(finance,material stuffs,etc)but only for them to use same for their local ex-es,even become pregnant for them and yet present the babies as ours?. How often do people get to hear of such? Now to worsen the scenarios,the host country by-laws does not permit us to react (uncivilized as they term it)accordingly, in comparison to what their men counterpart who are citizens will do.

Many of our men are dying in silence.Some were murdered by their supposed foreign partners for personal reasons.Too many situations time wont permit me to state here.

Nigerian men are hard working,pace setters(good or bad),we are good lovers and yes we are polygamous in nature if allowed)we don't abandon our own nor our children whether at home or abroad.If we discover you playing on our intelligence, we strive to be one step ahead of you in the same game.We are made and raised tough and as such hardly give up.Each time we fall,we pick ourselves up again.

I would like us men,to share our various experiences as well.Let us bare it all and let the world read our own version.Perhaps someone out there worrying about their relationship status with a Nigerian man might know who we truly are,what we have experienced and what they are up against with in case of eventualities.

Lets level the playing field.

Enough of the negative stereotyping.

*grabs popcorn and seat*

Following. . . .where are the Nigerian men with foreign partners?, lets hear your own side of the story.

Did he say heterosexual marriage with foreign women only?

Do they have homosexual marriage with foreign women?

WTF

Ho ho ho.Several views yet many still hide either in shame or perhaps embarrassed.I'm here to say there is nothing to be ashamed of if you have been played,used or even setup.This post is meant to be informative and educative for our fellow men out there,who may be starting a relation ship with foreign women or had been and may not know what they are into.
Let me add a little into the works some of us may loosen up a little bit more.

I am Nigerian and mechanical engineering graduate with bias for diesel sets of engines. I am also a legal resident in Kimberly,South Africa.
My first serious encounter,as many of you might have experienced happened during my first 1year and 8 months in Johannesburg.I was residing then in centurion but our main office was in Johannesburg.
As usual, you have friends and lady friends to rock weekends with, and perhaps hopeful you may find a suitable one amongst the lots.Allow to me add,im not among them that seek for students.I like my women ripe and full of age.Perhaps as im posting this,somewhere on the web the lady may be reading.
We met at a wedding reception and after much chat and jokes, we exchanged numbers,bla bla bla...and well the romance began.She works as senior clerk at the municipal,takes care of herself, have her own house,car,have a son from a previous relationship but no attachment (you know what i mean if you are in SA)and shes got a job.So whats missing from the equation?
The first 2 months or so was eventful,amorous,et cetra etc cetra but we never really stayed together.She have her place and i had mine.Short stay visits,eat outs,attend events together and by the third month,it was required we become more intimate as peeps now see us as item.Thus she request i begin to stay over some week days.All along,i never knew she was HIV positive and she kept it a secret.Probably cos of her consistent use of the ARV and exercise,she looks fit,attractive and well compose.But all those were part of the bait.
It started with little monetary demand for fuel to come and see me.Then to electricity,dstv,her nails,her hair,and gradually even her groceries and part of her credit account settlement at clothings and shoe stores.As a naija guy in love,will you consider that as a biggie? of cos not.....(second mistake).
After i got another contract offer with a different company with the location not far from her house,she felt why not move in with me and reduce cost of transportation.Besides that seemed appropriate isnt it? Wohzah!That was when the fencing strategy started.
First,i cant be online for long while with her,either on phone or on the pc.But she could for its always either my mum,or uncle or one cousin.Secondly,if i come home after her,i must prepare for interrogation.If i must speak to my people at home,it must be in her presence.No outing beyond 10 mins.I suppose all this were for real affection until one day,i saw her car at an eatery.Coming out with her was the baby father.well i drove along as i was test driving one of ours clients car and when i demanded where she went during lunch hour,she claimed there was an old classmate in town and when i probed further,she said baby father as she just had to meet him to discuss his plans concerning the son they had together.

Little did i know the assole even resides in town and they been seeing often.Although,i found out she was making attempts to make the guy foot the child welfare bill but after the guy demanded for DNA test,she backed down.All this dawned on me,most probably even the son does not belong really belong to the so called baby father,yet they meet,exchange sms,and even calls before she gets home.
My suspicion started when she would go for braai with friends after work and return home sometime 9.00 p.m.As much as i gave her freedom,it became a problem when she started attending outside events alone and sometimes comes back 12 midnight, some minutes to 1.00 a.m, drunk.Every attempt to register my displeasure always goes with apologies but soon,she and her friends are in the game of coming home late.
My suspicion led me to hacking her phone,got her un-deleted text messages,phone records,whatsapp,etc via a spy software.I kept a record of the messages as they were in sesotho language.While i sought the help of one of our cleaners to interpret the conversation.I was mesmerized.This working lady,despite working and earning well, and my support had been seeing different guys during lunch hour.Yet would come back home acting the bride to be and the one and only.
And this is the same lady demanding for marriage and at least a child from me.Thank goodness i got to her messages and had been all along engaged in protective sex(she insisted on that anyway).It was the health care agency that handles her medications sent her a despatch confirmatory sms regarding her arvs.For the first time having been with her,i went through her wardrobe and saw the bottles.Imagine the surprise.To make matters worse,we had been together then for almost 6 months and by the 5th month,my contract ended with the second company i was with,therefore i was stuck.
It took serious efforts and help of my Cameroon friends to help me secure a place and start all over cos when she realized i have known everything.she became daring.Every move of mine was monitored.If i go to eatery and come home,she would check the receipts to know how much,if probably i've started seeing someone.
Anyway,i found solace with my Botswana lady.Part bots part SA.We have been together now for over a year and so far she have demonstrated discipline and commitment as i longed for.Although the food aspect is the only challenge.She just cant get Nigerian meal right.Besides,that,i say thank God so far so good.


Do not be beguiled by their beauty.Yes they are attractive,they have nice shapes,they love to dress western,they tell you they want men who will be committed to them but most of them do not understand the meaning of commitment.To many of them,commitment is when you meeting their needs and demands yet they are free to flirt and socialize freely as they want to unhindered or questioned.

You do not need to mention names,but feel free to share your experience with foreign women here for all to learn from that we also do suffer emotionally and abuse too as they claim they had been suffering from Nigerian men too.You never can tell, you might be saving your own bloodline from a predator in disguise.
Lest have it brothers.

Mrs.Chima:
Did he say heterosexual marriage with foreign women only?

Do they have homosexual marriage with foreign women?

WTF

Da fvck is, this is about (naija)man to woman relationship (heterosexual) experiences and not (naija)man to man(Homosexual)relationship.Also, having to do with foreign women and not home girls.You dig?

Ok its getting more interesting, i thought its only nigerian gals that demand.

[quote author=pri3stess][/quote]
Thanks priestess.Many of our guys are in situations like this in the name of love and affection.So many entered with their eyes wide open but too late to pull out.Besides my situation was even fair.Ive met men here who's assets and properties had been converted to their foreign wives behind their back.Just one more trip home and before they arrive from Nigeria, change of ownership have taken place without their knowledge.Some women could even go as far as hide our kids from us in the name of getting back at us.
There's a story here of one of our brother killed by his foreign wife,over what? http://lindaikeji..com/2013/01/nigerian-man-stabbed-to-death-by-his.html
I'm not trying to cast aspersions but the world need to hear of our plights too.Shame most these guys are either not aware this thread is on or just outright ashamed of who gets to read about theirs.

I saw all kind of different Nigerian men.
Some are really nice guys who do everything for their wives and their children, others are just using their wives for papers and money and again others do not care about women at all and are just working 24 hours of the day.

I think they are all different. Especially when they leave their country and life in a foreign country for a long time.

I have a homosexual marriage with my husband.

Well currently in Mauritius, though i have no issues with Nigerian women because i believe in individuality rather than generalizing, however i have noticed a pattern here in Mauritius rather than from Nigerian girls, they are kinda more direct, straight to the point, the weird part is they split the bill with you every time, sometimes they like to pay for most things and get offended if denied the opportunity though some Nigerian women do this. But really apart from being outspoken i see no difference, a Mauritian girl will bravely tell you on the second day, that she likes you and wants to come and sleep over, but unlike my Nigerian girls who are understanding of my not being available every time, the Mauritians girls won't, infact they want to be by your side 24-7 even if it means entering your dream. Frankly apart from that i see no difference, and its quite open seeing ladies open and going for what they want. here the girls approach and toast you if you are wasting too much time. that's my experience the rest have been eliminated because of children on NL. doesn't apply to all Nigerian girls there's no Materialism here compared to some Nigerian babes ( but then again that's directly correlated with the Economy so not a point)

Mrs.Chima:
I have a homosexual marriage with my husband.

Never have your post ever being serious, its a pattern.

shame no dey let ashawo talk wetin she see for junction,

oya wey all d men o, come out and confess

bebe2: shame no dey let ashawo talk wetin she see for junction,

oya wey all d men o, come out and confess

I think its only in Nigeria where we judge too much and frankly its getting sick, Everyone have sex what's the big deal ? we are all just Hypocrites

Anastacia86: I saw all kind of different Nigerian men.
Some are really nice guys who do everything for their wives and their children, others are just using their wives for papers and money and again others do not care about women at all and are just working 24 hours of the day.

I think they are all different. Especially when they leave their country and life in a foreign country for a long time.

are you white Anastacia ?

pc guru:

Never have your post ever being serious, its a pattern.

Awwwwwe....you are one of my faithful followers?

I will send an autographed napkin via DHL to you!

Thanks follower!

I didn't read... can I still post?

Nigerian men are awesome (except for the few that really do suck!)

@Donodion

Nice post and you are brave to share this.You know this pride thing with us most times is not really helpful.Besides,we need to first study our environment and the people closely before taking a dive.Or better still share experiences like this to serve as guide.We often tend to assume cos we are all blacks then we more likely to reason and think the same way,but wrong.I have learnt here no matter how sweet and promising someone speaks,never take it to heart until you see it in action.
Abroad, no one cares about anybody except themselves and whomever is sent to help you.Study and learn to adapt with them or you are on our own.
During one of my transfer i met this fair skinned Xhosa chick from eastern cape.Sexy, well endowed, you know their physical attributes and wot wot.As at then she works with one of the mobile operators in SA that also have a branch in naija, as a marketer.
our meeting was spontaneous and i would say we clicked from the beginning.According to her she broke up not too long ago with a Namibian guy having been together for long.Well, all the classic stories about searching for a "committed partner",wot wot so i came on board.
Within few weeks,i have been so taken away with this babes suave ways and more like beauty,i gave her a spare key to my apartment.
we visit each other but often take her out.I guess she probably observed my been free with spending and she capitalized on it big time.You know how this babes could have a hook in you,call you sweet names,calling on you every now and then,in fact marking her spot.
One weekend at her end,she kept the phone on vibration while she was in the bathroom and a call came through.On the ID display was the full name of one of my colleagues.Although i don't go through her phones or stuffs but well,kept my cool gave the phone and they were conversing in their language.Following week i met my colleagues and went out for a couple of bites,i paid anyway.Then i threw in the question about his knowledge of a certain Nozile and gave him her description.The guy spilled beans in fact gave me her bio data and her runs.
I never knew this babe already had 2 daughters she kept with her mom while shes living in the city.Now here's my mistake.Through out that day i was filled with jealousy.I couldn't take it till night so i sent her a stinker and called it off.didn't pick her calls,didn't reply her messages.BIG MISTAKE.The third day while i was away since she had spare key to my place came in,broke and shattered anything shatter-able.All my electronics,bed,plates,name it hardly was anything spared.a neighbor told me they saw where she drove by.Ol boy,i slept my neighbor room that night for fear of the unknown.When i called her to make shakara,guess what she told me,"i dare catch you with another lady in this town and you are dead". If he's a guy,in fact i would take the battle to his door post,but a woman.What if i go to her place to challenge her and she creams rape?Remember you are foreigner.
I have learnt my lesson and since then,i have fun with caution.Some guys are lucky to have nice SADC women to take home,but majority of our guys have tales of woes to share,most especially guys in JHB.Bros, enjoy your bots woman but i still say,shine your eye.

Shalom

SniperInADiaper: I didn't read... can I still post?

Nigerian men are awesome (except for the few that really do suck!)

hmmmm ok..so whats your own story...the thread is open and very promising.

jidewin: @Donodion

Nice post and you are brave to share this.You know this pride thing with us most times is not really helpful.Besides,we need to first study our environment and the people closely before taking a dive.Or better still share experiences like this to serve as guide.We often tend to assume cos we are all blacks then we more likely to reason and think the same way,but wrong.I have learnt here no matter how sweet and promising someone speaks,never take it to heart until you see it in action.
Abroad, no one cares about anybody except themselves and whomever is sent to help you.Study and learn to adapt with them or you are on our own.
During one of my transfer i met this fair skinned Xhosa chick from eastern cape.Sexy, well endowed, you know their physical attributes and wot wot.As at then she works with one of the mobile operators in SA that also have a branch in naija, as a marketer.
our meeting was spontaneous and i would say we clicked from the beginning.According to her she broke up not too long ago with a Namibian guy having been together for long.Well, all the classic stories about searching for a "committed partner",wot wot so i came on board.
Within few weeks,i have been so taken away with this babes suave ways and more like beauty,i gave her a spare key to my apartment.
we visit each other but often take her out.I guess she probably observed my been free with spending and she capitalized on it big time.You know how this babes could have a hook in you,call you sweet names,calling on you every now and then,in fact marking her spot.
One weekend at her end,she kept the phone on vibration while she was in the bathroom and a call came through.On the ID display was the full name of one of my colleagues.Although i don't go through her phones or stuffs but well,kept my cool gave the phone and they were conversing in their language.Following week i met my colleagues and went out for a couple of bites,i paid anyway.Then i threw in the question about his knowledge of a certain Nozile and gave him her description.The guy spilled beans in fact gave me her bio data and her runs.
I never knew this babe already had 2 daughters she kept with her mom while shes living in the city.Now here's my mistake.Through out that day i was filled with jealousy.I couldn't take it till night so i sent her a stinker and called it off.didn't pick her calls,didn't reply her messages.BIG MISTAKE.The third day while i was away since she had spare key to my place came in,broke and shattered anything shatter-able.All my electronics,bed,plates,name it hardly was anything spared.a neighbor told me they saw where she drove by.Ol boy,i slept my neighbor room that night for fear of the unknown.When i called her to make shakara,guess what she told me,"i dare catch you with another lady in this town and you are dead". If he's a guy,in fact i would take the battle to his door post,but a woman.What if i go to her place to challenge her and she creams rape?Remember you are foreigner.
I have learnt my lesson and since then,i have fun with caution.Some guys are lucky to have nice SADC women to take home,but majority of our guys have tales of woes to share,most especially guys in JHB.Bros, enjoy your bots woman but i still say,shine your eye.

Shalom

D bros.Morning to you o.Longest time.Hows your side?Its been a while you have been on NL.Thanks for your contribution.My princess so far is cool headed and well,still observing but for now,i can say quite a lot positive about her and her people.You even need to visit botswana,kai,the place is nice and fine too except for their govt wahala.But anyway, lets keep the thread alive and interesting.I know say if it hits the front page,perhaps many more may contribute.I hail o.

donodion:
hmmmm ok..so whats your own story...the thread is open and very promising.

Im not posting my story on here

Maybe my lover with be by this thread and post it

Mrs.Chima:


Awwwwwe....you are one of my faithful followers?

I will send an autographed napkin via DHL to you!

Thanks follower!

Me your follower , not even in a 100 Alternative realities,I would have to be lobotomized. its just an observation nothing personal sorry if i came across as being offensive.

pc guru:

Me your follower , not even in a 100 Alternative realities,I would have to be lobotomized. its just an observation nothing personal sorry if i came across as being offensive.

Right...keep lying..it's part of your heritage.

Oops was that too offensive?

SniperInADiaper:

Im not posting my story on here

Maybe my lover with be by this thread and post it

You have learned very well.

Mrs.Chima:


Right...keep lying..it's part of your heritage.

Oops was that too offensive?

Yeah i know i that part already you hate Yorubas, nah not offended, already tribalist tolerant

I'd like to hear about a Nigerian man really truly falling madly in love w oh lets say and american woman... My story is for the 1st year he lied. diff pic, dead wife, sick kid, blah blah, my defense, i was new to the internet dating world, and u nigerians r soooooooooo suave w ur words, im a sucker for a sweet talker anyway, a year into it i finally see him on cam after he confesses to me who he really is. I was hurt, confused, all sorts of things, and he said to me that even tho the pic wasnt him everything else was...I focused on that and i was able to move on, however i will NOT say it still affects my trust for him.

AND another thing! i dont want to control and boss him or any man but i also want the same in return. I work, make money, pay my own way etc y cant i have a say?

when i sit my ass down all day and do nothing on him dime if he wanted me to lick his toes clean after a hard days pay we can talk about that lol.

so back to what i was saying... right now and it always has been, our ONLY problem is financial. i am guilty of sending him money, and hes gotten money to me, not equal amounts tho, and when i cant afford to do it he is NOW acting like a punk! I think i should pull back and not call or kiss his arse as much as i do, not to be playing games, but its affecting how i feel, not that i love him less... i guess the best way to describe it is u cut urself and it leaves a scar, and then the same things keep happening and eventually that scar gets bigger...I dont want to lose my feelings for him cause its been a VERY long time ive thought about anyone and dozzed off into dreamland with a smile on my face cause of thoughts of only him. I dont want that to go away, but after 2 years... i start questioning things. I'm not an ugly girl and not hurting for male attention, so im not desperate, i am just truly im love with him, (when i originally met him he stated he was from the us or i would have NEVER even considered more contact only due to the distance issue, I NEED REAL, REAL KISSES AND REAL TOUCHES, but i had already fallen for him b4 i found out)BACK to the main point... he has asked me for money $150 which i do not have and he is upset w me. Feels like hes playing me

so there is the twist to ur Nigerian men falling for foreign women. what if it is a scam on the Nigerian side?

pc guru:

Yeah i know i that part already you hate Yorubas, nah not offended, already tribalist tolerant

Because I married an Igbo man...I hate Yoruba men?


You are that insecure huh?

Mrs.Chima:


Because I married an Igbo man...I hate Yoruba men?


You are that insecure huh?

Mrs Chima hates Igbo men. She also hates all Nigerians. And all whites. She only loves herself.

Please I need summary of this thread, i don't like reading that much, but I will like to contribute to this thread..

Please someone help me out.. I need summary oo