Encoredme: Vin Diesel, Tom Cruise, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis are always forming 'touch not my anointed'. It only makes me laugh. Even though the story line is usually predictable (except Oblivion which I was catch unawares in), I love other things like the tight production.

Rukemi291: So true.
@Op. How will i pronounce your name, abeg?

mrlaw93: @OP sorry to say I tink there is no sense in Wat u wrote nd it lacks humour.. I read d whole of this post tinking somtin meaningful will eventually com out of it.. tah! disgusting.. now I will take ur point knw after d other.
1. the gud guy kills dem all cos we re made knwn in d film dat he is well trained than dem nd d thousands of guys re jst trash.
2. ur no2 is even out of point..rules re made to keep tins chaotic.. since d cops cnt figure a way to rescue d hostages. the so called super hero who believes he has somtin special nd different Cn as well save d day
3. winning a girls heart 2fyn dancing.. dnt be a crap! u Cn win a girl heart 2ru Wat u tink she desires most nah.. in dis case dancing. if it is singing show her u got d voice, away nd d pinnach to do it.
4. LOL! if d bad guy kills d gud one.. for god sake who will complete d film..na u WAN do am ni.. and note: actor dey die for film go watch CRANK.
5. the last two or last one figures out hw to kill d monster when d idea comes due to deap research nd enough time.. nd exploiting the dead ones.. or even by mistake.. if people no die Wat is d extent of calling it horror..
** I DROP MY PEN **

GooseBaba:

Aunty oghene and thinz..! Calm down the op yarn was funny sha....no need to write exam for this one..

senbonzakura_kageyoshi: 5)The haunted guys find out how to kill the monster only after there are two of them left: I love horror movies. I watched loads and loads of horror movies, and one thing I’ve learnt from them is that it is practically impossible to kill a monster/ghost/zombie/vampire/werewolf unless there are just say two or three out of like 10 or 20 people left. Oh, I also learnt that the black guys usually die first or second but that’s not such an important lesson. Whatever happened to two heads being better than one. And when you have ten heads that get wiped out one after the other till there are only two, shouldn’t it follow that the remaining two just commit suicide to save themselves having to get killed by said monster? But no, it is only after their compadri have died do they figure out that the monster’s weakness is water, or cocaine (as in that Elijah Wood movie, can’t remember the name) or hair relaxer (Evolution) or some such silly thing like that. If that where the case, if i meet a horrible looking thing, I will bust out all the hard drugs I have and hope it kills the thing instead of getting it high and it then goes apeshit on me.

ohaleoghene: While you are wrong ! Let me enlighten you , and only hope you learn from this . Movies world are fantasy world , totally different from the real world . My lecturer who took me on drama , said and I quote ' in art we do not find reality ,when we do , it is no longer art ' poster , what caught our fancy in movies are the fact that this things do not , and if they do happen arre very rare , and we do only hear about them , and then we say , oh , just like in the movies . Haven't u notice how people who find it hard to believe a certain story say , I am sure you saw that in a movie , that sure can't happen ! So your analysis my dear is crap ! Think of it , won't you find movies boring of it gives us exactly real life situations ? If that is how movies work , while ,.I rather wait till such happens to someone around me , and save the ticket money for a meal .

mrlaw93: mumu... show me where he highlight the like terms btw nolly nd holly

senbonzakura_kageyoshi:

you, my friend, are the very definition of a buzzkill.

moshoodn: Steven Seagal is particularly guilty of many of these rules!

The guy is a bully who rarely gets beaten but he surely breaks others arms.

I love almost all Hollywood actors cos they're trying.

Anyways, personally, as a biochemist, I love Sci Fi. . .

mamiel: You my friend should knw and appreciate when people are being hilarious. Or are trying to tell us that you dont realize that the op is just being funny and was indeed very good at it? There was no need to call his nice piece crap. @op great work and style of presentation.

booqee: so true and so funny. The one wey dey vex me pass na chinese movies and their crazy stunts. You'd see one guy been attacked by hundred guys, in my mind i'd be like ok u guys go together at once, gather the guy and beat him up, simple! Sheybi na 100 to one. But no!, what they do is they keep coming at him one after the other fighting kung fu, i look at the remaining guys waiting in line at the background, and i just be like wtf?!, especially as they look like fools just standing there doing nothing.

senbonzakura_kageyoshi: 3)Winning A Girls Heart…..Through The Power Of Dance!: Okay, I know, the Indians are more guilty of this than Hollywood but then they do this in pretty much every dance movie there is. Trodden down poor boy meets classy school girl in high school/college and somehow, she manages to always get attracted to him the first time they lock eyes. However, she just can’t leave her big jerk of a boyfriend……until the good guy shows he can bust a move! He dances his way into her heart, she leaves her jerko boyfriend and they dance their way into the happily ever after that is the end credits.

In reality: The girl would swear never to date him for embarrassing her in public. I mean, ladies, how many of you want that guy that has been tripping for you to just suddenly come bust a move outside your father’s compound? As against, I don’t know, a movie at the Galleria, shopping at Shoprite or even just buying you recharge card?

Why Nollywood can’t pull it off: Just imagine Ramsey Nouah droppig it like its hot before Ini Edo! The amount of aboniki they would need to massage his body after every scene would set the aboniki guys up for life!

4)Bad guy always has the upper hand, then practically throws it away: Have you noticed how so many times, the bad guy juuuust happens to have the good guy in a tight corner….then does something stupid…..like FAILING TO SHOOT THE GODDAMN GOOD GUY AFTER POINTING A GUN AT HIM FOR, I DUNNO, FIVE HOURS? Why is it that it is right when they have the chance to put the good guy out of the misery of acting another part of the movie for good, that’s when the bad guy decides to tell us his entire life story while the good guy figures out how to free himself with one toothpick and a piece of thread. Are they shitting us in Hollywood?

Why Nollywood can’t make it work: Well, Emeka Ani can hardly have time to start talking about he wanted to kill Kanayo O. Kanayo all along while a pastor is praying over him while sprinkling holy water over his head and lightning is flashing and his coven is falling apart. But just imagine Emeka Enyiocha with a gun pointed at Nonso Diobi who is trying to cut through the rope binding him with a blunt fork. Comedy central material!

5)The haunted guys find out how to kill the monster only after there are two of them left: I love horror movies. I watched loads and loads of horror movies, and one thing I’ve learnt from them is that it is practically impossible to kill a monster/ghost/zombie/vampire/werewolf unless there are just say two or three out of like 10 or 20 people left. Oh, I also learnt that the black guys usually die first or second but that’s not such an important lesson. Whatever happened to two heads being better than one. And when you have ten heads that get wiped out one after the other till there are only two, shouldn’t it follow that the remaining two just commit suicide to save themselves having to get killed by said monster? But no, it is only after their compadri have died do they figure out that the monster’s weakness is water, or cocaine (as in that Elijah Wood movie, can’t remember the name) or hair relaxer (Evolution) or some such silly thing like that. If that where the case, if i meet a horrible looking thing, I will bust out all the hard drugs I have and hope it kills the thing instead of getting it high and it then goes apeshit on me.

Why Nollywood can’t pull it off: Why wait till you’re all dead when there is a pastor around the corner? After having consulted everybody and everything, pastor is the sure cure to all things that tie red wrappers, fly at night or shoot bright lights from their hands while you hear a sound like someone farted under water. In fact, I think Nollywood has been smarter on this one!

http://zakuraweekly.com/five-ways-hollywood-movies-are-as-bad-as-nollywood-movies/

ohaleoghene: While you are wrong ! Let me enlighten you , and only hope you learn from this . Movies world are fantasy world , totally different from the real world . My lecturer who took me on drama , said and I quote ' in art we do not find reality ,when we do , it is no longer art ' poster , what caught our fancy in movies are the fact that this things do not , and if they do happen arre very rare , and we do only hear about them , and then we say , oh , just like in the movies . Haven't u notice how people who find it hard to believe a certain story say , I am sure you saw that in a movie , that sure can't happen ! So your analysis my dear is crap ! Think of it , won't you find movies boring of it gives us exactly real life situations ? If that is how movies work , while ,.I rather wait till such happens to someone around me , and save the ticket money for a meal .

delors: Dead funny . I remember Ramsey Noah acting Jet Li in one of the Nollywood films way back. Flying kicks, Kung fu styles etc kicking the ars.e of village chiefs ect I couldnt stop laughing seeing his fat head and round belle and making sounds like Bruce Lee. Really made the whole comedy action film funny. Nollywood is getting there.

osinachukwu: .

ddippset: It is only in nollywood a girl would be all by herself in her room but still can't take off her towel to get dressed after she just left the bathroom!

spongeback: Hollywood interpret "royal" movies better======>
Nollywood interpretation of "royal" movies makes me wonder, which culture wears those hideous costumes And they have really silly names
Royal palace
Royal queen
Royal king
We are royals oh!!!
Royal rumble
The King tear my bra
Royal maidens
The queen dey suspect me
The prince fell for the maid

Yomieluv: forget white man mentality,i prefer to watch the baddest hollywood,than the best nollywood....how do you explain a ghost looking right,and left before crossing a road,and a guy being shot inside a car,and the windshield didnt break,and the guy died.or few year later,and omotola still wears the same hairdo,or Genevive wakes up from bed with makeup....huck.lol bro...am wit u on dat one,,,hahahaha