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Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego - Jokes Etc (26) - Nairaland

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Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 5:00am On Sep 17, 2014
Our Pregnant Virgin House Girl
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My wife travelled on an official office assignment and she was to be gone for three months, leaving me lonely. I got so starved and decided to try our house girl who was brought from the village by my wife to help with the house chores. I called the house girl to my bedroom where I had taken off my boxer. When she came, I

Read more http://njuwo..com.es/2014/09/our-pregnant-virgin-house-girl.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 4:13am On Sep 18, 2014
Warri Ofego Episode Eight
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First nurse; I told you he's not mad. I can see! The second nurse quipped. Ofego cuts in; I understand you people. The second nurse asked; What do we do? Una wan pursue me comot? Ofego asked. The first nurse said; We will go tell the doctor that this guy is not mad, he is an impersonator. Ofego said; No o, you people should not try it o. I will settle you people. I will settle you with chicken bone and one seed of rice. You are not serious. Let's go jor. The nurses said and left. Are you people really going to tell. I'm dead. Ofego cried. The nurses were in the hall way coming back to Ofego's ward when Ofego

Read more http://njuwo..com.es/2014/09/warri-ofego-episode-eight.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 4:39am On Sep 18, 2014
What Old Age And Pronunciation Almost Made My Grandpa Commit
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Sometime ago when I was still running a phone booth across the road, I had forgotten one of my plastic chairs at home, and sent a boy named Lateef to go get them for me from my Grandpa's place. I live with my Grandpa then, though he is late now. Lateef went and my Grandpa made him sit down and

Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/09/what-old-age-and-pronunciation-almost.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 4:58am On Sep 18, 2014
Newly Wedded Couple In Disunity Wife Retired Prostitute Husband Retired Player


Yesterday, I had the chance of visiting a friend whom I attended his wedding some few weeks back in Warri. He just returned from his honeymoon and it was obvious to me that he and his wife are not talking to each other. From my few hours stay there I noticed it, and took him aside and

Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/09/newly-wedded-couple-in-disunity-wife.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 5:14am On Sep 18, 2014
My Secondary School Geography Teacher And His Lack Of Knowledge In Geography
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Alcohol surely turns the well learned to a well learner. My Geography teacher in secondary school Uncle Sam, who happens to be my neighbour, went to drink at a beer parlour after school on a friday. While his wife was at home waiting for him to come back as usual. He

Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/09/my-secondary-school-geography-teacher.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 10:13am On Sep 18, 2014
Everyday This Is What Every Human Being Spends A Minute Of Their Life Doing
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The television in my house got spoilt when I tried experimenting it on a low voltage light and this got me worried. I imagined a day without watching television when there is light and decided I can't go through that so I went to an electronic shop, pointed at a television, and asked the shopkeeper; What is the price of this television? The shopkeeper

Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/09/everyday-this-is-what-every-human-being.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by girishchouhan5(m): 12:05pm On Sep 18, 2014
Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing.
When you are in love and you get hurt, it’s like a cut...
It will heal, but there will always be a scar.
http://sadquotes.in shocked

1 Like

Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 6:07am On Sep 19, 2014
Warri Ofego Episode Nine
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What is broad daylight robbery? Officer i was the one that actually called you people to come and arrest a guy in our mental clinic who is impersonating a mad man. He is the guy that is escaping. The first nurse explained. Story! The policeman yawned, Oya, make we go station, you go talk that one for station when you reach there, nonsense! One of the security men said; Officer we are not armed robbers, this is injustice. Officer we are not armed robbers, we are mental hospital workers. I'm a nurse, likewise my colleague here. This two guys are security men there, and, we

Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/09/warri-ofego-episode-nine.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 6:34am On Sep 19, 2014
Beware Of Dogs A Sign Of Love
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I couldn't sleep last week monday. The following morning, which was tuesday, I dragged myself to my doctor's office and told him; There are dogs all over my neighbourhood. They bark all day and all night, and I

Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/09/beware-of-dogs-sign-of-love.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 7:01am On Sep 19, 2014
For The Guys This Is How To Handle That Girlfriend Of Yours When She Does This
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What's with girls and pretence this days, my girlfriend called me last night and said; Dearie I miss my period. I asked; Which of the subject? Maths Or English? She queried; So Ofego you have another girlfriend. I never knew you are a player. I

Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/09/for-guys-this-is-how-to-handle-that.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 12:28pm On Sep 19, 2014
See How This Man Is Dying For The Second Time For Love
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I was watching news on TV, channels television precisely, yesterday evening with a friend of mine when one news came on, showing a man standing on a bridge about to commit suicide. I all of a sudden

Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/09/see-how-this-man-is-dying-for-second.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 4:58am On Sep 20, 2014
Warri Ofego Episode Ten
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Ofego went to a woman in a
neighbourhood and requested for water to wash his hand and leg. The woman willingly gave him a bucket of water and a towel. She kind heartedly assisted him in
washing the hand and leg and drying them off. After drying, she went inside house to get Ofego vaseline to rub. As she was
inside, her husband showed up. So you are the said man that has been

Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/09/warri-ofego-episode-ten.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 6:09am On Sep 20, 2014
Nigerian Husbands Does Not Say I Love You To Their Wife Why This Is So
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I was opportuned to speak in a church conference for men on how to live in a loving relationship with their wives. I asked the men how many of them love their wife. I asked this cause I've noticed that Nigerian men hardly say I love you to their wife, my Dad inclusive. My mum

Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/09/nigerian-husbands-does-not-say-i-love.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 6:29am On Sep 20, 2014
Job Applicants This Is How To Answer Interview Questions And Get That Job
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So you don't know how to answer interview questions, and be the rightful candidate for the job, let me share this and allow you learn the act from it. I went for an interview in which there were three more people waiting to be interviewed for the top job. The Manager decided to carry a test, with each candidate being asked the same question. The person with the best answer would get the job. That morning,

Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/09/job-applicants-this-is-how-to-answer.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by girishchouhan5(m): 8:01am On Sep 20, 2014
I can get sad, I can get frustrated, I can get scared, but I never get depressed -- because there's joy in my life.

**************

For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, 'It might have been'.

**************

Nobody deserves your tears, but whoever deserves them will not make you cry.

**************


Hindi SMS
Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.

1 Like

Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 11:49am On Sep 20, 2014
How To Get Customers To Your Business
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Are you ready to get customers to your business? Whether you just started it or it has been there before it doesn't matter. The sole aim of starting up a business is to gain profit. Who brings forth this profit? Customers! So you can't do without them. You need them for your business to grow. If you are ready to get them running like flies to your business then this article is for you. I learnt of this technique from my uncle who is a spare parts dealer and owns shops in Lagos. Some years back when I lived with him, at the time I was writing WAEC G.C.E, on the day we were to

Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/09/how-to-get-customers-to-your-business.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 4:08am On Sep 21, 2014
Warri Ofego Episode Eleven
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Ofego quickly and sharply let go off his shirt at the hands of the man and continued running. Holding the shirt in disbelieve, the man tried running after him but gave up the chase. Ofego ran into a restaurant faraway and ordered for pure water, akpu fufu, egusi soup and washing hand. After he finished eating, he was given his bill; Your bill is 1,000 Naira. The waitress said. Ofego laughed; Hahahahaha! Wonderful! That is the exact amount I'm even having with me here sef. Ofego said and dipped his hand into his pocket, handing the 1,000 Naira note to the waiter. She collected it and unfolds it. Ahn, ahn, Oga this your money has a problem o. It

Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/09/warri-ofego-episode-eleven.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 4:33am On Sep 21, 2014
My Wife Now Believes Me After I Told Her This
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She has been taking my words for jokes right from the time of our courtship. Even as we've gotten married she still does that, until recently, when I broke the camel's back. Is it a crime not to have anything but one thing in this world. We went to church last sunday and I had nothing to

Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/09/my-wife-now-believes-me-after-i-told.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 4:55am On Sep 21, 2014
My Forgetful Uncle And How He Ended Up With His Forgetfulness
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Sometime last year an uncle of mine along with his family and I travelled to the ranch in Calabar for the mid year holiday. While there, an Evangelist who had a beautiful horse and was about to travel back to where he's from, cause he has been transferred back home, decided to sell the horse before leaving. He approached my uncle and gave him reasons and benefits of buying it, that it'll save transportation to and fro the ranch. My uncle agreed to buy it and they bargained price. Arriving at a reasonable price in which they both agreed on, my uncle paid and climbed onto the horse. He said to the animal; Move! The horse did not budge. The

Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/09/my-forgetful-uncle-and-how-he-ended-up.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 3:31pm On Sep 21, 2014
She Wants More
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My wife and I were in a public transport. I then gave money to a beggar who was begging inside the bus. By the time we got to the next bus stop, my penis disappeared. I started shouting; My penis is gone o! My penis is gone! All the passengers ordered the driver to stop. And

Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/09/she-wants-more.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by epheezy2(m): 9:10pm On Sep 21, 2014
[quote author=njuwo]A girl invited her boyfriend (Akpos) over for
dinner in her house so he could meet her
parents. While they were eating, it started
raining heavily, so the girl's mother
said;"Akpos, i think you
should sleep over here because the rain
shows no sign of stopping anytime soon"
After eating, the mom went to the toilet and
the father went to sleep while the girl went
to
the kitchen to clean the plates. When the girl
and her mother returned to the sitting
room,
Akpos was not there, they checked all over
the house and did not find him. As they
were wondering what happened to him, he
walked
back into the house, wet and soaked with a
plastic bag.
Girl's mother: Where were you and why are
you so wet?
Akpos: I went home to get my pyjamas (bed shit)
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 4:26am On Sep 23, 2014
Warri Ofego Episode Twelve
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As the madam walked in and the waitress still inside, Ofego leapt through the fence and escaped into the streets. As he ran, he thanked God, the restaurant had fence, and assured himself he'll never experience such again. He felt the spirit of hunger piercing him, and went to look for food anywhere. He didn't see and decided to go look for job instead. He went to an industry, not a movie industry, a block industry, and saw a

Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/09/warri-ofego-episode-twelve.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 7:19am On Sep 23, 2014
My Business Associate That Eats Flies
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A couple of weeks ago, I was having lunch at Grand Hotel Asaba with two of my business associates, one from South Africa and the other from China. While in the middle of the meal, a fly flew towards the direction of our table. It flew across the table to where I was, I waved my hands to chase it away. The fly flew to where the South African was, he

Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/09/my-business-associate-that-eats-flies.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 7:23am On Sep 23, 2014
A Way To Avoid An Argument With A Woman And Make Her Agree With You
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I went on a night out with my friends last night. My wife was furious and told the children that when I come back, they must not open the door for me. At about 11pm I came back and knocked. My wife told me to go back to where I am coming from, and sleep there. I

Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/09/a-way-to-avoid-argument-with-woman-and.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 3:37am On Sep 24, 2014
Because My Fridge Is No Longer Working She Left Me
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I woke up from sleep this morning and found a letter on top of the fridge. I took the letter and it read; It is no more working and I can not continue staying here, I am gone and till something is done about it, I am not going to come back. I opened the fridge and

Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/09/because-my-fridge-is-no-longer-working.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 4:05am On Sep 24, 2014
No Credit Today Come Tomorrow In The Next World
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So I went to the burial ceremony of a friend of mine who passed on in his village. I went with three of my friends with whom I knew the deceased with, together. It is the custom and tradition of their village, when a deceased is about to be buried, his friends will put something in his or her casket. Tamara my friend, had nothing to give at the moment so he

Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/09/no-credit-today-come-tomorrow-in-next.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 4:56am On Sep 24, 2014
Even New Born Babies Pray Against Untimely Death See This One Do So
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My friend, mouth sealed, name withheld, who impregnated a girl, I've been quiet all this while o. Why I want to talk now is that the girl gave birth last saturday. She had used abortion pills bought for her by that my friend before now, to make sure the baby does not come but goes back to where he's from before actually getting to this world. But somehow, the abortion pills yielded no result. So she

Read More: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/09/even-new-born-babies-pray-against.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 5:17am On Sep 24, 2014
Native Doctors Now Do Business Online My Experience With One Of Them
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I liked Rose, a course mate of mine in school, but I did not have the guts to ask her out. I went to one native doctor. And all what he asked from me was one month BIS money. Shocking right? Due to my desperation, without foreseeing, I paid the money and he gave me a ring called 'Touch and Follow'. As I collected it, he said; All

Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/09/native-doctors-now-do-business-online.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 11:02am On Sep 24, 2014
I Dialled My Girlfriend's Number On My Friend's Phone And Saw This
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So Technology Has Developed Like This? I did store my girlfriend's number with her name Rose, on my phone o. This morning, I decided to call her, to see how she is doing. As I scrolled to her number and called, a voice said; You have insufficient credit to make this call, please recharge and try again. I checked my account balance to confirm this, it was true, so, I borrowed my neighbour's phone to make this call. This my neighbour is

Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/09/i-dialled-my-girlfriends-number-on-my.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 4:00am On Sep 25, 2014
Warri Ofego Episode Thirteen
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Ofego held the 5 Naira on his hands on the street and stared at it remininscing; Only 5 Naira remaining out of all the money I worked in one job. Miserable 5 Naira. What will I do with it now? It is better it's stolen jor. Suddenly a thief appeared from nowhere and snatched the money from Ofego, running out of sight. Ofego screamed; Thief! Thief o! A crowd gathered and asked him; How much did he thief? Ofego replied; 5 Naira. Are you not ashamed of yourself? Is that why you are jumping as if it is one million? You are indeed running out of madness. They hissed and

Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/09/warri-ofego-episode-thirteen.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 4:23am On Sep 25, 2014
Why I Stopped Dating School Girls
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This might be awkward but to be sincere, I've stopped dating school girls. Anything school girl, count me out. Why I stopped was that, she came to my house on her school uniform and said; Dearie I've missed my periods. And I fainted. I woke up in an hospital bed and overheard her telling a nurse that

Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/09/why-i-stopped-dating-school-girls.html?m=1
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 4:41am On Sep 25, 2014
Women Are Their Own Enemy See Proof
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I sent a text message to my wife; Honey I had an accident at the front of my office this morning, CHIOMA rushed me to the hospital. The Doctor said I have a broken leg and a fractured knee with a twisted arm and

Read more: http://njuwo..com.es/2014/09/women-are-their-own-enemy-see-proof.html?m=1

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