njuwo:
Hahahahaha!! I just can't stop laughing. This
is the awkward Truth About some husbands.
A group of men gathered at a church
conference on how to live in a loving
relationship with their wives. The men were
asked, "How many of you love your wife ?" All
the men raised their hands. Then they were
asked, "When was the last time you told your
wife you love her ?" Some men answered
today, some yesterday, majority didn’t
remember. The men were then told to take
their cell phones and send the following text
to their respective wives: I love you,
sweetheart...
Then the men were told to exchange their
phones so one can read the other wife's reply
to the love message.
Here are some of the replies:
1. Have you impregnated someone again
2. That was then, not now
3. You wan borrow money abi?
4. What did you do again? I won’t forgive you
this time.
5. Meaning?
6. Is that a new song?
7. Am I dreaming?
8. If you don’t tell me who this message is
actually for, you will die today!
9. U dis man!! I asked you to stop drinking.
10. Abeg na who be this?

njuwo:
Hahahahaha!! I just can't stop laughing. This
is the awkward Truth About some husbands.
A group of men gathered at a church
conference on how to live in a loving
relationship with their wives. The men were
asked, "How many of you love your wife ?" All
the men raised their hands. Then they were
asked, "When was the last time you told your
wife you love her ?" Some men answered
today, some yesterday, majority didn’t
remember. The men were then told to take
their cell phones and send the following text
to their respective wives: I love you,
sweetheart...
Then the men were told to exchange their
phones so one can read the other wife's reply
to the love message.
Here are some of the replies:
1. Have you impregnated someone again
2. That was then, not now
3. You wan borrow money abi?
4. What did you do again? I won’t forgive you
this time.
5. Meaning?
6. Is that a new song?
7. Am I dreaming?
8. If you don’t tell me who this message is
actually for, you will die today!
9. U dis man!! I asked you to stop drinking.
10. Abeg na who be this?

njuwo:
Hahahahaha!! I just can't stop laughing. This
is the awkward Truth About some husbands.
A group of men gathered at a church
conference on how to live in a loving
relationship with their wives. The men were
asked, "How many of you love your wife ?" All
the men raised their hands. Then they were
asked, "When was the last time you told your
wife you love her ?" Some men answered
today, some yesterday, majority didn’t
remember. The men were then told to take
their cell phones and send the following text
to their respective wives: I love you,
sweetheart...
Then the men were told to exchange their
phones so one can read the other wife's reply
to the love message.
Here are some of the replies:
1. Have you impregnated someone again
2. That was then, not now
3. You wan borrow money abi?
4. What did you do again? I won’t forgive you
this time.
5. Meaning?
6. Is that a new song?
7. Am I dreaming?
8. If you don’t tell me who this message is
actually for, you will die today!
9. U dis man!! I asked you to stop drinking.
10. Abeg na who be this?

hahahhshsshahshshs

Bayode Temiloluwa O. born '89 with the stage name TeeMirror is a final year History and international studies student of Unilorin. Due to the transportation problems In Unilorin which caused students to wave vehicles down saying..."tanke sir" inspired TeeMirror to visualize what the slang has been about and the necessary measures the school has taken to solve the syndrome. The gangnam style cover was recorded 2012 and has been a Trend in #Unilorin and beyond since then. Here's a visual Edited by the famous Jassy Generation Pictures, Shot by Biggajef Directed by VISILE ENTERTAINMENT

Tanke Sir #NobeYAB, you gat your reasons.

click here to download
http:///1cGaA9q

Kindly copy and rebroadcast on all ur Social Media(whatsapp,twitter,bbm,instagram/facebook)
Contact him via @iam_teemirror on twitter and instagram
08134333471 on whatsapp

My Teacher in primary school asked, ''Ofego if you are given an opportunity to take between brain and 10 Million Naira, which would you take?. I replied, ''I will take 10 Million Naira. He said, ''As for me, I will take brain. I replied, ''Well, people take what they don't have.

A rat looked through the crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife open a package. "What food might this contain?" The rat wondered. He was devastated to discover it was a rat trap. Retreating to the farmyard, the rat proclaimed the warning: "There is a rat trap in the house! There is a rat trap in the house!" The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said, "Mr Rat, I can tell this is a grave concern to you, but it is of no consequence to me. I cannot be bothered by it." The rat turned to the goat and told him, "There is a rat trap in the house! There is a rat trap in the house!" The goat sympathised, but said, "I am so very sorry Mr Rat, but there is nothing I can do about it but pray. Be assured you are in my prayers." The rat turned to the cow and said, "There is a rat trap in the house! There is a rat trap in the house!" The cow said, "Wow, Mr Rat, I'm sorry for you, but it is no skin off my nose." So, the rat returned to the house, head down and dejected, to face the farmer's rat trap alone. That very night a sound was heard throughout the house like the sound of a rat trap catching its prey. The farmer's wife rushed to see what was caught. In the darkness, she did not see it was a venomous snake whose tail the trap had caught. The snake bit the farmer's wife. The farmer rushed her to the hospital, and she returned home with a fever. Everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup, so the farmer took his matchet to the farmyard for the soup's main Ingredient. Alas! the farmer's wife's sickness continued, so friends and neighbours came to sit with her around the clock. To feed them, the farmer butchered the goat. The farmer's wife did not get well, she died. Many people came for her funeral and the farmer had the cow slaughtered to provide enough meat for all of them. The rat watched all these from his crack in the wall with great sadness. So my people, always be concerned about the rat in your house.

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You wouldn't believe what people now do in church these days. A guy sitting close to me in church today was lighting a cigarette. My bottle of star beer nearly fell from my hand.

When Sweden and Denmark play each other, the letters used for the teams are SWE vs DEN. The remaining letters not used are DEN vs MARK.

I wish to inform you that my traditional marriage comes up 24 of June 2015. I know it's sudden, but I have to fix the date quick as the day I will be free, though I don't know how to tell you but I need to let you know, the wedding will be 9th of July 2015. Please I'm so sorry, hence I'm not planning a big thing, only a few friends will be coming and I will appreciate your presence on that day as a friend. No need for gifts since it's a short notice. Just bring someone I can get married to.

In a psychiatric hospital the psychiatrist wanted to test the psychological and mental improvement of the patients and so he drew a motor car on a board. He watched to see what would happen. The patients went to the board and tried to push the car from its position but one of the patients didn't bother to join them, he was sitting calmly without making an attempt to join them in their foolish act. The psychiatrist watched him and felt he is getting better, the psychiatrist then asked him why he didn't join the others. He replied, ''Why should i join them when I have the key to the car?''.

let me hear a joke.
http://www.chinnko.com/index.php?u=/topic/464/heavy-downpour-leaves-shanghai-flooded

A couple who just got married in Warri went to spend their honeymoon in the man's one room. The first night, as the man wanted to perform his manly duty, the door was broken and an armed robber with a gun rushed in, and ordered the man to move away from his wife saying, ''You got married and didn't bother to invite me to be the first to test your wife search engine if it's working well. You are very stingy. You call yourself a christian and you are not being a cheerful giver that you ought to be. You don't know that as you receive, you give. Come on get out of that bed let me be the first to test her. The man obeyed. The armed robber then gave the man his gun to hold for him and jumped into the bed and climbed on top of the man's wife, ready for action. The man then cracked the gun and pointed it at the robber and laughed, ''Hahahahaha! Fool! You think you are smart. After i suffered in paying her dowry with my hard earned money and single handedly finalised the wedding with my last kobo. You want to reap where you did not sow. Come on, move away from my wife before i kill you here. The robber held the wife tightly and laughed, ''Hahahahaha! I knew it would get to this, that is why i did not bother to put bullet on the gun before coming here.

My Bros won a 10 Million Naira lottery. He placed the money on a ''Ghana must go'' bag, went to the bottom of a tree, buried the money there, used a camera to snap the spot with the tree join and went on his way to London. As he was on a plane that is almost getting to London, he brought out the picture from the camera, stared at it, and was shocked to see a guy at the top of the tree smiling.

Wow... I'm making money while I sleep. Care to join me in the world of MAPs then chat me up on whatsapp (08068677508). I promise you that you will sack your boss in no time.

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee. "What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are you down here at this time of night?" The husband looks up, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 17?" he asks solemnly. The wife is touched, thinking her husband is so caring and sensitive. "Yes, I do," she replies. The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the backseat of my car?" "Yes, I remember," says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The husband continues, "Do you remember when he shoved a shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years!" "I remember that too," she replies softly. He wipes another tear from his cheek and says, "I would have gotten out today!"

njuwo:
You wouldn't believe what people now do in church these days. A guy sitting close to me in church today was lighting a cigarette. My bottle of star beer nearly fell from my hand.

njuwo:
When Sweden and Denmark play
each other, the letters used for the
teams are SWE vs DEN. The remaining letters not used are DEN vs MARK.

njuwo:
You wouldn't believe what people now do in church these days. A guy sitting close to me in church today was lighting a cigarette. My bottle of star beer nearly fell from my hand.

funny

Cultists at it again? Attack Unilag
sug president!! Ay http://unilaghype..com/2015/06/unilagnewssug-president-attacked-by-bus.html

Facts,

1. Nigerian parents are confused. They will beat their children with the intent of making them to cry and then start beating them again to stop them from crying.

2. Guys, when a Girl say "You are the best man in her Life" please, don't be surprise to see yourself standing beside her husband on her wedding day. pacman.

3. The downfall of a Man is when he moves from BBM to 2go.

4. Guys always complaining about girls that are looking for rich men, you sef hustle and be a rich man let girls find you too na.

5. Very soon MTN will be Like, ''Do you know there are people in your village that don't want you to succeed? Quickly text "thunder fire them"to 33505, 50 Naira a week.

6. If your boyfriend is like 20 years older than you, please stop calling him baby rather you should start calling him your Ancestor.

7. Those that use spoon to eat Eba are our major problem in this country.

8. It is only in Nigeria you will see a notice board say “Man needed with 40 Years experience, must be aged, 25.

9. Girls please, your boyfriend should not be your source of income. Cause it is only a relationship, not a job opportunity.

10. Someone will just die with an Afro and his spirit will come back with low cut. So Barbing saloon is in that side? Please i need an answer o Nollywood.

11. Strangling your wife for making indomie as dinner is not domestic violence, it is self-defense.

12. How can you be chasing a Girl for 4 Years. Is she your University Degree?

13. Double dating is not when you are dating two girls at a time, it is when you are dating a girl whose weight is more than 100 kg.

14. If someone is bothering you with unnecessary calls, just copy and paste his number on . And write "Call this number to buy iphone 6 for 10,000 Naira.

10 Classes of People You Will Find In A Lagos Bus

I must first of all start by saying a lot of unprecedented praises are always been heaped on Lagos state for reasons I find it hard to understand. While looking at Lagos from the outside as a local Ibadan boy, I was full of admiration of the commercial capital of Nigeria. I loved the way Lagos was represented in the movies and mostly songs by music artistes as they all sang about where they grew up. I admired the way the addresses of several companies in Nigeria carried the Lagos tag as they were mostly headquarted in Lagos state. As a student of the Obafemi Awolowo University then, a lot of course mates and room mates told me mostly 'lies' about Lagos. Yes, I purposely called them lies because events were highly exaggerated. Now, I am in Lagos now struggling to adapt to the rigour of activities here called ''the hustle''. Don't get me wrong, Lagos is a great place with an enabling ground to horn your skills, talent and develop into greatness. On this piece, the Village Town Crier will be picking on the amazing state of affairs in the Lagos buses. I have experienced several bizarre occurrences which I have decided to create humour out of. As usual, you see the buses looking so tattered, old, unkempt, overused and adjusted seats (to create more space for increased profitability), faded black and yellow paint, stressed vehicles engines constantly smoking, dangerous-looking bus drivers and their conventionally lousy conductors who will never buy the needed megaphone to practice their trade.


Sorry if my introduction seems too long. I can perceive my reader's eagerness to see the keypoints of this article. Below are classes of people you will likely find in a Lagos bus:

(1) The Preachers:
These set of people have a way of testing the faith of Lagosians. They are mostly christians. As you board the Lagos bus that never comes to a halt completely, struggling to find a seat at a very tiny spot in between people, stepping on toes and apologizing simultaneously as you sweat from the short struggle, you hear one voice from behind proclaiming the ''Good News'' of Jesus Christ. As the high peach of the voice is maintained, you find it annoying and irritating, one part of you prompts you to cut the preaching short by cautioning the preacher but out of the fear of appearing to revolt against God, you stay calm and patient with the hope that it ends soonest. Its almost unbearable when the person is sitting beside you with the loud voice protruding through your ears.

(2) The hot-tempered class:
This class is mostly dominated by the Igbos and Yorubas. They are highly controversial. You can never please them. They frown their faces terribly as soon as they sight the black and yellow bus. The bus conductor who is like an attendant in the bus (for the sake of foreign readers) understands the nature of such people. He immediately takes a defensive position. He screams at the top of his voice saying; "Enter with your change oh" No Change oh" "I nor want wahala" These set of people are ready to flare up at the slightest provocation. They moody look gives you the impression that you are in danger. Stepping on their feet in the bus or over-leaning on them due to the lack of adequate space in the vehicle could attract a death penalty. I am not exaggerating. Some of them purposely attempt to beat down the transport fare which they know its impossible just for the purpose of raising tension in the bus. They pay the bus fare with utmost bitterness and demand for their change immediately like they anticipate a foul-play from the conductor. Even if their change remains an amount as low as N5, they are ever ready to shake up the bus and abandon their destination to recover what rightfully belongs to them.

(3) Marketers:
I hereby tender my apology to say that I see the marketers as very weird people. They are mostly of two categories, some sell varieties of items ranging from Sausage rolls to La casera or Viju milk drinks, recharge cards and other consumables OUTSIDE the bus which is highly acceptable in Nigeria and Africa, even though I have never been outside my country lol. The second category have no destination, they will board the vehicle with you. They are mostly rickety and hungry-looking old men with the appearance of a secret herbalist capable of causing maximum collateral damage spiritually. They will not take a seat in order to gain the advantage of addressing the passengers. They mostly sell drugs that are reportedly capable of 'curing' ailments world-class scientists are almost giving up on like Hepatitis, Sickle cell anaemia, Hiv, cancer and the likes. The amazing point is that, their appearances give you the impression that they may have a combination of all the ailments they claim to cure. As you settle down in the stuffy Lagos bus with every passenger giving you this kind of hostile attitude due to the frustrations and stress of the day, you will shockingly hear the cracked voice of one old man wearing a T-shirt that is big enough to be a bed sheet, shouting on top of his voice to advertise a drug or any other commodity. This worsens the already poor state of the bus. A times I feel so strange that this kind of weird occurrence paints the scene of a movie shoot to me.

(4) The sneaky class:
This class of people contains the enemies of the conductors. They look as peaceful as a dove. They are not easily noticeable. They enter quietly with the purpose of also leaving the bus quietly without due payment. The bus conductor stretches his neck at the risk of a possible dislocation to fish them out. Most of them are experts in this field. They will keep a straight face while others are paying for their transportfares. At the bus stop, they exploit the opportunity of the rush out of the bus to innocently sneak out with the alighting passengers. It hurts that so matured men who are old enough to govern a country are in this act too.

(5) The Sleeping class:
The act of sleeping in a commercial vehicle used to be so strange to me but when I came to Lagos, I realized it was almost normal. Sleeping in a Lagos bus is almost as unsafe as a soldier sleeping at a war front during an attack. Anything could happen, the moment of sleep comes swiftly likes its diabolical. This is due to the fact that some people leave their houses as early as 4am in the morning to reach their working place at 8am due to the bad traffic. This is what happens when you are living in a place like Akute and Ikorodu which is virtually a part of Ogun state, and you are working on the Island. The same set of people return home as late as 11pm in the evening or later than that. You can't cheat on nature, you will certainly sleep off willingly or unwillingly. Surprisingly, these set of people are so accustomed to sleeping in the bus that the bus has become their bedrooms, two minutes after entering the vehicle, they are already off to the dreamland. Shockingly, I also see some policemen sleeping in their patrol vehicles. That is totally unacceptable. God is our greatest security operative in Nigeria anyway.


(6) The Fat Alberts:
These people are like cheats. They are like the politicians while slim people are the masses. Mostly plus-sized women with gigantic backsides that could be compared to a contruction truck. Some chubby women will innocently occupy the space of three people in a bus leaving the others being almost squeezed out of the bus. This causes regular fracas in Lagos buses day in day out to the extent that only the affected people complain. The unaffected passengers tend to stay out of the argument because the next bus could entangle them in the same predicament. Its a rotational syndrome. Lagos passengers could be so gross, you will hear the backside being directly attacked verbally. On one occasion, one lousy Igbo man who felt cheated by a fat passenger looked at her 'truck' and said ''Una where u see this ur nyarsh from?, una biko the thing too big, na die oh!" The woman looked at him and angrily said ''Na ur mama you dey follow talk'' As usual, a movie was shot from that scene lol.

(7) The Pick-Pockets:
These are so unwanted like virus-infected files on your computer. These people could make a highly esteemed person in the class of the Governor of a state embarrass himself publicly. These set of people enter solely to steal from targeted passengers. Your phones and wallets are commonly their targets. A friend of mine was rocking a song on his newly bought Iphone 6 with the aid of an earpiece. The phone was safely placed in his pocket and he nodded his head simultaneously to the beat of the songs. He boarded the bus with the normal conventional hot rush common with large crowds. He noticed the song stopped playing, he ignored it and tried settling first in the vehicle. Few minutes later, he tried to change the song, shockingly the phone had already developed wings and probably flown to an unknown tree to relax. He starred at his earpiece with tears welled in his eyes. Behold, it was like a temporary moment of madness for him.

(9) The market women:
When you see the women, you will know the hustle is real in Lagos. With due respect, they are not they kind of people you will want to sit with one the day you are wearing your best cloth to work or probably a very clean white shirt. They are very dirty people due to the nature of their jobs. They have this natural fragrance that is unique to them. Personally, I feel it is the greatest scent ever existed. The smell is a combination of crayfish, dried fish, fresh fish, dried meat, vegetables, dirty clothes, onions, armpit smell, mouth odour and sweat from stress. Imagine the combination of all these in one. This is what you directly face when you sit around them. The most annoying part is that they will never keep quiet while in the bus. They always interact with their fellow market women in strange languages sounding like tongues spoken in churches. They come with heavy loads their litter the already deplorable bus. Sometimes you unluckily have one of those filthy loads hanging around you but you politely stay quiet out of fear of offending a suspected witch. The bus conductors have a terrible way of treating them which they will never take personal.

(9) The Phone call class:
This is a minor class anyway. We all answer phone calls in public vehicles especially when a high priority is attached to some callers. In the Lag bus, some people are so lousy with calls. They pick important calls shouting as if they are making an important Public Service Announcement. They go as far as revealing dirty family secrets. Some go as weird as reigning curses through the phone, they express their emotions freely. This act forces some bus passengers to console them in most occasions. I find it uncomfortable anyway. Some ladies pick calls and loudly flirt on phone too. Love is a beautiful thing, we all want love, we are happy that you are happy but I feel your relationship life is private and should be kept private. I was shocked when one businessman angrily told his caller he was heading to the bank to withdraw N500,000. That was an easy way of selling yourself to a potential robber who may not be nursing intention of robbery at that time. Later on, we Nigerians will blame the police force.

The posh class:
This class is the ideal class. It is filled with well behaved and good looking individuals. They are always looking neat, wearing nice dresses which maybe out-rightly cheap, they use good phones, smell nice and talk nice with fake accents. A times they almost miss their bus stops due to their inability to shout like a thug that they are alighting especially when the conductor fails to announce. They stay quiet in the bus with innocent looks, they endure the discomfort because it is temporary, they ignore the bus conversations and hold back their laughs no matter how funny because they believe they may be in the bus but they are not of the bus.

Well, every reader would actually be wondering the class of the writer. As a Village Town Crier, I may not be rich as I am still struggling to settle down in Lagos but I strongly feel I belong to this class. *Laughs*

I hope I forced down that smile out of your strong looks? Thanks for joining me again on this one. Feel free to share the posts with your friends so that the network can grow. This ministry should move to its permanent site this year loooool.

*Hops into another Lagos bus* Orileeeeeeeee!
Oyingboooooooooo!! Hold your shangie ooh, na God I dey use beg u oh!!!
- See more at: http://villagetowncrier..com/2015/06/10-classes-of-people-you-will-find-in.html#sthash.dPCEAkqd.dpuf

A man always comes to eat rice and stew in a restaurant opposite my house. One day, when he came to eat at the restaurant they said, "Stew was not yet done".
The man said, ''No problem, just bring ordinary rice for me''. He ate the ordinary rice. As soon as he finished eating, they told him the stew is done. He said, "Bring the stew that you people suppose put for my rice". So they gave him the stew. The man drank the stew.
Suddenly, the man started tumbling and scattering the whole place. He used his body to hit the ground several times. People managed to hold him down and asked him what was wrong. He replied, ''I am mixing the rice and the stew that is inside my stomach".

I went to a supermarket to pick something to eat.

As I was walking down the isle, I noticed a man staring at me. I looked at the man and kept walking to the front counter to pick Gala.

As I picked it, I turned to see the man right in front of me.

I smiled and greeted him, then went on to get Lacasera.

The man followed me through the store.

I was getting a little nervous and mad because he was following me without saying anything.

Trying to be friendly I said, ''Hi!''

The man finally said, he is sorry for staring at me, but I look like his youngest son. They just buried him two weeks ago.

I felt stupid for getting mad as I expressed my sincerity to him.

He said he was fine as he knows his son is with the Lord.

Then he asked me to do him a favour.

I said, ''Sure, if i can''.

He said he was a bit sad that his son never said goodbye before passing on.

He asked me to get in line behind him, and as he left the store I should say, Goodbye dad! So that he can have a sense of closure.

Though his request was weird, I however agreed to grant him.

As he collected his bags from the cashier and walked away, I said, ''Goodbye dad!''.

He turned and said, ''Goodbye my dear son!''.

When the cashier calculated my bill she said the total is 12,500 Naira.

I screamed, ''For what? How can a Lacasera of 120 Naira and 50 Naira Gala turn to that amount?''.

He replied, ''Your dad said you are paying for his bill too!''.

FUN TIME As I bounced entered d NECO Exam hall,I had just 1 prayer on my mind wich is God pls let me sit near a person dat knows book,cos d stupid boy i told to send me d answer on my phone looks lyk who doesn't have sense. God finaly answered my prayer,d girl dat i sat with was an Albino &she wore eyeglass dat has rope,so i knew for sure dat she know book wella.As d paper started,dis girl started to misbehave o.She was just covering her answer,but me as a sharp guy,i was spying d answer from 1 deadly angle.when it remain just 5 minutes to go,this girl caught me copyin her &started shouting @ me,but i just ignord her,since i had almost copied finish.d next thing dat i heard was my phone's message tune.This guy has finally sent d answer,i sighed & then told d invigilator to give Me a fresh answer booklet. I then tore d 1 dat i copied frm d albino girl &used d paper to stone Her. I kept d fresh booklet ontop my table &usd 1 style to open d message,i saw "To download GBESE by Lil Kesh, text 48 to 4900" Pls what do i do?

When i was in primary school we had a class bully named Ogaga. He was huge and almost sizing up with our school teachers. His main objective was to oppress pupils and claim their food. We were all at the play ground when Ogaga showed up. He rushed me and asked, ''Who is the strongest?''. I was under duress and quickly said, ''It's you!''. Ogaga smiled and collected my banga rice. He directed the same question to Christopher, this time, suffocating him. Christopher finding it difficult to breath said, ''It's you!''. Ogaga snatched Christopher's biscuit. He finally tried it with Richard, a very thin and easy going person. Ogaga asked as usual, ''Who is the strongest?''. Richard didn't say a word. Ogaga, full of himself thought Richard's silence was out of fear so he tried to take Richard's lucozade boost but suddenly Richard grabbed him by the hand, flung him to the side, pressed him to the ground and started punching him. Ogaga laid on the ground and cried out, ''If you don't know the answer just tell me, you don't have to be harsh.''

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njuwo:
A rat looked through the crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife open a package. "What food might this contain?" The rat wondered. He was devastated to discover it was a rat trap. Retreating to the farmyard, the rat proclaimed the warning: "There is a rat trap in the house! There is a rat trap in the house!" The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said, "Mr Rat, I can tell this is a grave concern to you, but it is of no consequence to me. I cannot be bothered by it." The rat turned to the goat and told him, "There is a rat trap in the house! There is a rat trap in the house!" The goat sympathised, but said, "I am so very sorry Mr Rat, but there is nothing I can do about it but pray. Be assured you are in my prayers." The rat turned to the cow and said, "There is a rat trap in the house! There is a rat trap in the house!" The cow said, "Wow, Mr Rat, I'm sorry for you, but it is no skin off my nose." So, the rat returned to the house, head down and dejected, to face the farmer's rat trap alone. That very night a sound was heard throughout the house like the sound of a rat trap catching its prey. The farmer's wife rushed to see what was caught. In the darkness, she did not see it was a venomous snake whose tail the trap had caught. The snake bit the farmer's wife. The farmer rushed her to the hospital, and she returned home with a fever. Everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup, so the farmer took his matchet to the farmyard for the soup's main Ingredient. Alas! the farmer's wife's sickness continued, so friends and neighbours came to sit with her around the clock. To feed them, the farmer butchered the goat. The farmer's wife did not get well, she died. Many people came for her funeral and the farmer had the cow slaughtered to provide enough meat for all of them. The rat watched all these from his crack in the wall with great sadness. So my people, always be concerned about the rat in your house.

i like your joke.the sense is crazy...

but true,indeed...

Why Do Stories Have To Be Long When Told By A Woman?

Example, Man telling the story, ''You remember that fat man who was dancing at the party, he's dead!

Woman telling the story, ''My husband, do you remember Chizoba from my working place? The one who invited us to her party. She just called me on phone and told me that Frederick's wife from the party, heard from Owolabi's wife Iniobong, that Chico told her that his brother Benson, the fat man from the party, bit a piece of meat, or could it have been a bread, I don't remember, but anyway, she said that Benson was rushed to the hospital late last night after he suffocated from being choked by the bread. They did all they could to save him, but, he didn't make it. I can't believe it, that fat man from the party is dead!

Nice one

Nice