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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego (1487601 Views)
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Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 7:53pm On Apr 05, 2016 |
Late one night, a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. Give me your money, he demanded. Indignant, the affluent man replied, You can't do this I'm a politician! In that case, replied the robber, give me my money! http://www.njuwo.com/2016/04/what-armed-robber-demanded-from-man.html 1 Like |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 6:21am On Apr 06, 2016 |
Boy to mother: I've decided to stop studying. How http://www.njuwo.com/2016/04/why-boy-decided-to-stop-studying.html |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 6:57am On Apr 06, 2016 |
As Linda Ikeji released some top Nigerian Musicians age list, it is only Reekado Banks and Olamide's age that http://www.njuwo.com/2016/04/linda-ikeji-releases-some-top-nigerian.html |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 8:08am On Apr 06, 2016 |
A Judge looked severely at the defendant and asked, ‘How http://www.njuwo.com/2016/04/see-what-defendant-asked-judge-in-law.html |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 4:38pm On Apr 06, 2016 |
STOP USING CUSTOMISED
NAME ON FACEBOOK!!!!
Mark Zuckerberg created
facebook as an avenue to
re-unite with friends and
family especially old friends.
When we use names like
"Dar Pho Lee","Harbdul
harziz","Holuwa
rdhamilola",some would
even go as far as writing "Etz Yhurmilee","Iam
bruce-lee"..
I wonder how will an
old friend even re-connect
with you. Why Can't you just
write your name in a normal way? I recently read about how a
guy lost a job he would have
gotten because of this
, he said the HR considered him to be an unserious person. |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 6:04pm On Apr 06, 2016 |
A friend wrote: Is APC a military regime or civilian? I don't understand. Upon all what is happening he doesn't understand. He will soon understand when fuel starts selling for 1,000 Naira per litre. |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 6:52pm On Apr 06, 2016 |
How To Survive The Fuel Scarcity And Lack Of Electricity In Nigeria: Just go to a Bank that is close to you. Greet everybody, plug extention on socket, plug phone on it, plug power bank, rechargeable light, drink water from dispenser, sit down and enjoy AC, watch Buhari on CNN, withdraw 1,000 Naira. Thank the bank staff and return home. The next day go and join queue to pay back the 1,000 Naira into your account. Thank me after the enjoyment. 1 Like |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 8:57am On Apr 07, 2016 |
A large notice in a shop
window in Lagos announced a big
sale, with sweeping
reductions, starting at 9
a.m. An enormous queue
had started to form by 7.30am
Just before the shop was
due to open, an
inconspicuous little man
walked to the head of the
queue. Angry women elbowed and pushed him
until he was right at the
back of the line.
Undaunted, the little man
went to the head of the
queue again. Once more, he was
shoved unceremoniously
to the back, this time with
a few smacks on the face
and a couple of thumps
from umbrellas wielded by angry women.
The little man walked to
one side of the queue and
said, "If that's your
attitude, I won't open the
shop at all today!" |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by 55emem55: 8:59am On Apr 08, 2016 |
This dress has a limited quantity and its about to be sold out on www.dressmeoutlet.com. Anyways, i just got mine *dancing*
|
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 7:36am On Apr 09, 2016 |
An helicopter was flying
around above Abuja
when an electrical
malfunction disabled all of
the aircraft's electronic
navigation and communications
equipment.
Due to the clouds and
haze, the pilot could not
determine the helicopter's
position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward
it, circled, and held up a
handwritten sign that said
, "WHERE AM I?" in large
letters. People in the tall
building quickly responded to the aircraft,
drew a large sign, and
held it in a building
window. Their sign said,
"YOU ARE IN A
N HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved,
looked at his map,
determined the course to
steer to ABUJA airport,
and landed safely. After
they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the pilot
how he had done it.
"I knew it had to be the
ASO ROCK Building,
because they gave me a
technically correct but completely useless
answer." 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 10:18am On Apr 09, 2016 |
A Nigerian Policeman stopped
a motorist and asked for his
driver's license.
The Motorist scuffles around in his purse and
can't find it. He said to the
Officer, "I must have left it
at home, officer."
The Policeman said, "Well, do you
have any kind of identification?"
The motorist scuffles
around in his purse again,
and found a pocket mirror.
He looked at it and said to the
Officer, "All I have is this picture of myself."
The Officer said, "Let me see it,
then."
So the motorist gave the
mirror to the Officer, who
looked at it, and replied, "Well, if I had known you
were a police officer, I
wouldn't have even pulled
you over. You can go
now." Give This Officer A Name! |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by smstv(f): 6:55pm On Apr 09, 2016 |
Girl Body Types. Which type is yours ? http://smstv.org/fotogalerija/fotogalerija/142
|
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 7:17pm On Apr 09, 2016 |
Indomie and Pepsi will be using style to insult Nigerians. First it was indomie hungry Man size. Now Pepsi Long throat bottle. Very soon we will see; Bobo Overbellefull pikin. Chin Chin Olojukokoro satchet. Egg row Awuff size. Fan Milk Agbero size. Gala Ole size. Lacasera Thief bottle. 1 Like |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 6:28am On Apr 10, 2016 |
A guy met one of his
school mates several
years after school and he
could not believe his eyes,
his friend was driving one
of the latest sleek Mercedes Benz cars. He
went home feeling awful
and very disappointed in
himself. He thought he
was a failure. What he
didn't know was that his friend was a driver and
had been sent to run
errands with his boss'
car.
Chioma nagged her
husband always for not being romantic. She
accused him for not
getting down to open the
car door for her as her
friend Mary's husband does
when he drops her off at work. What Chioma
didn't know is that Mary's
husband car had a faulty
door that could only be
opened from the outside.
Tobias' wife went to visit one of her long time
friends and was very
troubled within for seeing
the 4 lovely kids of her
friend playing around. Her
problem was that she had only one child and have
been struggling to
conceive for the past five
years. What she didn't
know was that one of
those kids who was the biological child of her
friend had sickle cell and
had just a year to live, the
other three were adopted.
Moral of this is that:
Life does not have a
universal measuring tool
so create yours and use it.
Looking at people and
comparing yourself with them will not make you
better. If you know the
kind of load the
chameleon is carrying you
wouldn't ask why it takes
those gentle strides. Enjoy what you have! |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 6:48pm On Apr 10, 2016 |
ADVANTAGES OF FUEL
SCARCITY IN
NIGERIA 1. Most compounds are noiseless because 'I pass my neighbour generators are on sabbatical leave. 2. Wives are happy because husbands who like hanging out are now staying at home with the family because drinks outside are not cold and no fuel to drive out. 3. All the housewives are cooking good food because no more Crunches and Mr Biggs. 4. Kids are reading their books since watching TV needs fuel. 5. No more congestion in network since many peoples phones are off. 6. Browsing and downloading is faster than before cause not much people are online. 7. Everybody sleeps very early now, no more late night movies. Light no dey na. 8. There are MORE PRAYERS and less distractions. 9. Parents are over-joyed because their children that were always online now concentrate on their studies. 10. Even God Himself is very happy when he see people that haven't gone to church for months and years now going to church and staying for both first and second services just to charge their phones. |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 1:31am On Apr 11, 2016 |
I got into a steamy conversation with miss Nnaji where she revealed she http://www.njuwo.com/2016/04/genevieve-nnaji-set-to-get-married.html |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 6:18am On Apr 11, 2016 |
Today April 11th, Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego is 3 years old. Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego started as a facebook page on April 11th 2013 with a mission to give laughter to Nigerians and Non - Nigerians through Nigeria Jokes from Ofego. A happy birthday to Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego. 7 Likes |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 6:34am On Apr 11, 2016 |
I don't know for sure which http://www.njuwo.com/2016/04/dele-momodu-fires-at-davido-for-calling.html |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 6:38am On Apr 11, 2016 |
Linda Ikeji, one of Nigeria's female and famous blogger is http://www.njuwo.com/2016/04/linda-ikeji-gets-set-to-wed-phyno.html |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 6:45am On Apr 11, 2016 |
Girlfriend: Ofego,
you are 31 years old now,
when are you renting
your own apartment? Me (Ofego): Jesus is more than 2016 years old and still lives in his father's mansion. Don't put pressure on me, please! |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 10:17am On Apr 11, 2016 |
1. Saudi Arabia with a population of 26m has http://www.njuwo.com/2016/04/why-you-should-exercise-patience-like.html |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 10:22am On Apr 11, 2016 |
How The Bible Warned Us About APC ~ we obviously don't read our bible. Open to Proverbs http://www.njuwo.com/2016/04/how-bible-warned-us-about-apc.html |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 10:39am On Apr 11, 2016 |
School Girl Orders Buhari To Vacate The Throne For Jonathan With Immediate Effect ~ In a video posted on Facebook, this girl http://www.njuwo.com/2016/04/school-girl-in-tears-orders-buhari-to.html |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 10:46am On Apr 11, 2016 |
Why Buhari Is Traveling Anyhow ~ Today China, tomorrow http://www.njuwo.com/2016/04/why-buhari-is-travelling-anyhow.html |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 10:00pm On Apr 11, 2016 |
A worldwide survey was
conducted by the UN. The
only question asked was:
"Would you please give
your honest opinion
about solutions to the food shortage in the rest
of the world?"
The survey was a huge
failure. In Africa, they
didn't know what "food"
meant. In Eastern Europe, they
didn't know what "honest"
meant.
In Western Europe, they
didn't know what
"shortage" meant. In China, they didn't know
what "opinion" meant.
In the Middle East, they
didn't know what
"solution" meant.
In South America, they didn't know what "please"
meant.
And in the USA, they
didn't know what "the rest
of the world" meant.
Can you imagine?? 1 Like |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 7:04am On Apr 12, 2016 |
A guy was walking
along, when he looked
up to observe a bird
flying
overhead. Suddenly, the
bird dropped a load when it was directly over
him. The guy said,
"Good thing I had my
mouth open, or that
would've
hit me right in the face!!!" |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 6:01pm On Apr 13, 2016 |
One pregnant girl on
instagram finally gave
birth but posts so many
photos of the baby.
Got me feeling like I'm
raising the baby too with my megabyte. |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 7:37am On Apr 14, 2016 |
NEW ALBUM OF THE YEAR BY BUHARI. TRACK LIST 1. I belong to nobody 2. Fighting corruption ft. EFCC 3. Fuel scarcity ft. All Nigerians 4. Call me Johnny walker of Africa 5. Change is change 6. Show me the money ft Dasuki 7. Aeroplane dey sweet 8. Jonathan is to blame 9. Declare your asset ft Saraki 10. Devalue Naira? No way 11. I no send una 12. Dollar don rise ft. All Nigerians 13. Boko haram defeated ft Lai Mohammed 14. Point and kill (Nnamdi Kanu diss ft. Dss) 15. Missing budget ft Nass 16. Sidon make I dey travel ft Osibanjo BONUS TRACK Fuel scarcity remix ft Kachukwu ALBUM in stores nationwide as from may 29. The world tour has already started. You can see Buhari travelling round the world looking for collabo for the next album. |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 4:51pm On Apr 14, 2016 |
I was watching one American film yesterday night with my Dad and Mum, as we were watching the film, a young boy of my age started romancing his girlfriend, they kissed each other and when the guy's hand crossed the girl's private part, I looked straight at my dad and noticed that his eyes had changed, then I focused my eyes more on the film even though I knew my dad wanted me to leave the parlour at once, I did not care. They were still kissing, this time hotter, then they both fell on the bed and the guy was about to open the girl's brazier. My Dad looked at me with his red eyes and shouted at me, "Ofego have you ironed my car?" |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by oladoja19(m): 6:37pm On Apr 15, 2016 |
Treat every part of your
towel nicely because the part
that wipes your buttocks today
will wipe your face tomorrow….. ….. We are living in a generation
where people who are “in love”
are free to touch each others
private part but are not allowed
to touch each others phones
because they are private…. ……. Sometimes you look back
on girls you spent money on
rather than send it to your mum,
you realise that witchcraft is
real…… …….. If you’re a married man
and you find yourself attracted
to school girls, just buy your
wife a school uniform……… |
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