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Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 7:06am On May 19, 2016 |
I attended a naming ceremony with a gathering of about fifty people. I sat at the front seat. A lady started distributing food. She started from the back and unfortunately, it didn't get to us sitting at the front. Another lady started sharing the drinks, she started from the front but unfortunately I had already moved to sit at the back. Again the drink didn't get to me. I was so furious that I stood up to take my leave but then I saw three ladies each with a big bowl. This time, I tried to be wise by sitting at the middle. One of the ladies started the sharing from the front, the second lady started distributing from the back. The two ladies were sharing fried chicken. When they got to the middle where I was seated, it got finished again! Feeling so frustrated, I bent my head, putting my face in my hands. But then the third lady tapped me and stretched her bowl for me to pick. I stretched and put my hands inside the bowl. Guess what was in the bowl? Pure waters. Moral Lesson: Do not try to position yourself in life, allow God to put you in the right place, otherwise, you will wrongfully position yourself for pure waters. High Table (NJUWO Episode 3) very funny video. Download it here http://www.njuwo.com/2016/05/very-funny-video-high-table-njuwo.html 3 Likes |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by Nobody: 3:35pm On May 19, 2016 |
Learn how to make good money at your own leisure and comfort.. #Ask me how! Whatsapp: 07035449265 |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by Lawcurrent(m): 5:48pm On May 19, 2016 |
As his fufu and Egusi soup was almost ready
for the dinner,a Lizard on the wall fell into the
soup.
He angrily searched through the soup and
found the Lizard still alive.
He held it in his hand and raised it.He licked
all its body covered by the well prepared soup.
After he has licked everything,he threw the
Lizard away and said "naked you came into my
soup and naked you shall go" 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 11:20am On May 20, 2016 |
KUDOS TO NAFDAC AND W.H.O For the sake of safe SEX, NAFDAC has introduced a protection cream in place of Condoms. It's safe, affordable and comfortable. Moreover, there will be no need to use condom again. The advantage of using this cream is that you can now enjoy flesh to flesh without the fear of HIV/ AIDs. Wow! At last we can now enjoy ourself skin to skin. Go to any Pharmacy close to you and request for ABONIKI BALM. High Table (NJUWO Episode 3) very funny video. Download it here http://www.njuwo.com/2016/05/very-funny-video-high-table-njuwo.html 1 Like |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 8:01pm On May 21, 2016 |
Fuel Robber (NJUWO Episode 4) This Episode is so funny Download it here http://www.njuwo.com/2016/05/very-funny-video-fuel-robber-njuwo.html?m=1 |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 7:08am On May 22, 2016 |
Two guys were drinking in a bar. As they were drinking, they started arguing, one of them pounced on the other and started beating him. After a long beating he realised that his friend was no longer breathing, he died instantly. Then the guy started running with his shirt full of blood.Those who were watching the fight started chasing him. . He ran to the house of a Christian man, knocked and begged, "Please hide me, I have killed somebody and people are chasing me." The Christian man replied, "Where am i going to hide you in my one room apartment?" The muderer said, "There is no time to waste here, just think of anywhere you can hide me." After a long thinking, the Christian man said to the murderer, "Give me your shirt and take my shirt but remember to keep my shirt clean oh." They exchanged their shirts.Then as soon as the Christian man opened the door, the people started beating him and injured him badly. He was taken to the police station. From police station, the case was taken to court and the man was found guilty of murder and sentenced to death. The real murderer was safe at home but felt so guilty that he ran to the Court and cried, "Please release that innocent man, I'm the real murderer". The Judge replied, "Unfortunately it's too late, the man has already been hanged." He ran where the man was hanged and found him dead, hanging on the tree. He knelt down and cried his eyes out and said to himself, "You paid for my crime." He remembered the Christian man's last words: "KEEP MY SHIRT CLEAN !!!" That's how the murderer got repented and became a christian! . MORAL OF THE STORY: This is what Jesus did for us. He died for the crime he did not commit on the cross of Calvary. Now if you are thankful for what Jesus did for you, Appreciate Him with three words, type, "Thank You Jesus. Very Funny Video And A Must Watch For You Fuel Robber (NJUWO Episode 4) You Really Have To Download It here http://www.njuwo.com/2016/05/very-funny-video-fuel-robber-njuwo.html?m=1 It Will Make Your Day. 2 Likes |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 6:59pm On May 22, 2016 |
After shopping for most of the day, a couple returned to find their car has been stolen. They went to the police station to make a report. Then, a detective drove them back to the parking lot to see if any evidence can be found at the scene of the crime. To their amazement, the car had been returned. There was an envelope on the windscreen with a note of apology and two tickets to a Nite Of A Thousand Laughs. The note reads, "I apologise for taking your car, my wife was having a baby and I had to hot-wire your ignition to rush her to the hospital. Please forgive the inconvenience. Here are two tickets for tonight's Opa William's A Nite Of A Thousand Laughs." Their faith in humanity restored, the couple attended the show and returned home late. They found their house had been robbed. Valuable goods had been taken from through out the house, from basement to attic. And, there was a note on the door reading, "Well, you still have your car. I have to put my newly born child through enjoyment somehow, don't I?" Very Funny Video And A Must Watch For You Fuel Robber (NJUWO Episode 4) You Really Have To Download It here http://www.njuwo.com/2016/05/very-funny-video-fuel-robber-njuwo.html?m=1 It Will Make Your Day. |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by kratosonofzeus: 4:04pm On May 23, 2016 |
Lol
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Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 8:21am On May 24, 2016 |
WHAT IF..... You woke up in the morning and you saw your body still lying helplessly on the bed. You were shocked, so you tried calling your sibling who was sleeping beside you, and he did not hear you mention his name. You tried to pick up your phone to make a call to somebody and you couldn't pick it up. You started crying, but no one heard you. You tried touching the gate to go out, but your hand penetrated. You went outside and your neighbours were chatting, but you were not seen. After some few minutes, you saw your brothers And sisters coming out of your room shouting and crying All you could hear them say was, "HE IS DEAD". You stood there watching them cry. So you asked yourself , "WHERE EXACTLY I'M I GOING?" Your spirit started crying bitterly, because you were not prepared to start that journey so sooner. Where exactly are you going when you stop breathing? Are you aware of your final destination? Let's start preparing. Look unto Jesus, He is the only way to the best destination (Heaven). Be wise! it can take one unaware! Please choose this day, where exactly do you want to spend your eternity? Very Funny Video: Download It here http://www.njuwo.com/2016/05/very-funny-video-fuel-robber-njuwo.html?m=1 1 Like |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 8:31am On May 25, 2016 |
Two cannibals, a father and son, were elected by the tribe to go out and get something to eat. They walked deep into the jungle and waited by a path. Before long, along came this little old man. The son said, "Oh dad, there's one." "No," said the father. "There's not enough meat on that one to even feed the dogs. We'll just wait." Well, a little while later, along came this really fat man. The son said, "Hey dad, he's plenty big enough." "No," the father said. "We'd all die of a heart attack from the fat in that one. We'll just wait." About an hour later, here comes this absolutely gorgeous woman. The son said, "Now there's nothing wrong with that one dad. Let's eat her." "No," said the father. "We'll not eat her." "Why not?" asked the son. "Because, we are going to take her home alive, and eat your mother." Very Funny Video: Download It here http://www.njuwo.com/2016/05/very-funny-video-fuel-robber-njuwo.html?m=1 |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by kenosky4(m): 10:08pm On May 25, 2016 |
Become an author @ globalfora.com and Win a gas cooker http://globalfora.com/question/globalfora-rewards-her-esteemed-authors-with-premium-cookers/ |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 6:35am On May 26, 2016 |
A Nigerian couple living in the U.S.A unable to have children decided to adopt, they talked to the management and agreed to adopt a three months old Chinese baby. On the way back home, they signed up for Chinese lessons at a nearby institution. The Secretary asked in a friendly way, "Are you guys planning to go to China?". The Husband answered," No oh! We are adopting a Chinese boy". " Oh" She continued "I guess you don't understand a word he says!". The Wife jumped in, "You see, we are very clever, he hasn't started talking yet, he's only three months old, so, we are taking these lessons so that when he starts talking, we will be able to understand him." One Word For This Couple. Very Funny Video: Download It here http://www.njuwo.com/2016/05/very-funny-video-fuel-robber-njuwo.html?m=1 |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by lloydmuna2(m): 6:46am On May 26, 2016 |
There are ssomething we should imagine Imagine if obasanjo is a lady chie www.ugly.com Or Imagine if to say samson still day alI've till now them for use bottol barb am plan kodo Or imagine say them fit kiss a lady from phone many ladies for be unwanted mumy . Or Imagine say that lady we they talk for phone anytime U run oit of airtime guys for don chyke her tire Married woman for Don cus demon come out from her Or imagine say ladies rule the world buy now I for get belle !! Or Imagine say an army general na chronic starmara!!! Lol 2 days his troop still day wait make he finish giving his order Lol . Or Imagine say rape is legalize hhahah many ladies no go day cat work hahahah na to wear yansh proof Or Imagine say oxl or konga day sale second hand ladies U go see something like purchase your second hand Stella Damascus for sale direct Belgium Or Imagine say all guys day cat walk Lol by now most guys for done get two left legs Or Imagine say it's possible taa all dis too much shakara ladis bad market for kill them na to waka go the nearest oxl!!! Life for sweet
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Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 11:56am On May 26, 2016 |
This Video Is So Funny Semester Result (NJUWO Episode 5) Download Here http://www.njuwo.com/2016/05/very-funny-video-semester-result-njuwo.html?m=1 |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 7:12am On May 27, 2016 |
Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego (NJUWO) is now on BBM. Add us, for more undisputed fun. Here is our pin 7B6ADDC4. See you there. 1 Like |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 8:36am On May 27, 2016 |
Employer: "In this job we need someone who is responsible". Ofego: "I'm the one you want cause on my last job every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible." This Video Is So Funny Semester Result (NJUWO Episode 5) Download Here http://www.njuwo.com/2016/05/very-funny-video-semester-result-njuwo.html?m=1 1 Like |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 7:59am On May 28, 2016 |
At a wedding, I asked the person sitting next to me, "Have you noticed how horrible-looking the bride is? She's ugly!" "You fool. That's my daughter you are talking about!" The person responded. " Oops! I'm sorry sir. I didn't know you were the father. " "I'm not, you stupid fool. I'm the mother!". This Video Is So Funny Semester Result (NJUWO Episode 5) Download Here http://www.njuwo.com/2016/05/very-funny-video-semester-result-njuwo.html?m=1 |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 12:14pm On May 29, 2016 |
A 75-year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow." The next day, the 75-year old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened, and the man explained, "Well, doc, it's like this. First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, but nothing. Then her left, but nothing. She even tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with the teeth out, and still nothing. We even called up the lady next door, and she tried with both hands and her mouth too, but nothing." The doctor was shocked. "You asked your NEIGHBOUR?" The old man replied, "Yes, but no matter what we tried, we couldn't get the damn jar open!" Hahahahaha!!!! You were thinking what the doctor was thinking abi, Yes Or No? This Video Is So Funny Semester Result (NJUWO Episode 5) Download Here http://www.njuwo.com/2016/05/very-funny-video-semester-result-njuwo.html?m=1 |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 4:28pm On May 30, 2016 |
15 Signs That You Are In A Nigerian Party: 1. Almost everyone arrives at the party late - hence the reference, "African time". 2. You were given one invitation card, but you invite 20 other friends. 3. You call the attention of the people serving food by saying "Please, we haven't eaten in this roll oh!" 4. Even when it was obvious that no alcohol was served, you still ask "Don't you have any alcohol? 5. You go back to ask for more food and drinks. 6. You dance to "Obesere" or "Fela" music as if your life depends on it. 7. You go to the dance floor and start "spraying" naira notes. 8. You hear people talking, as if they are in a fight, about sports and politics. 9. Towards the end of the party you see people going into the kitchen helping themselves to "take away" food and drinks. 10. You ask the DJ to play a specially recorded cassette tape you brought with you. 11. Most of the guys are frowning and cursing because fufu, semo, gira or eba wasn't served. 12. More than two bouncers are at the door that leads to where the foods/drinks are kept. 13. The men are sitting in groups, instead of sitting with their women. 14. You hear, "Wetin dem dey wait for sef? I beg make dem bring the food make I comot jor!" 15. The hall empties immediately after food have been served. This Video Is So Funny Semester Result (NJUWO Episode 5) Download Here http://www.njuwo.com/2016/05/very-funny-video-semester-result-njuwo.html?m=1 |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by Lawcurrent(m): 10:54pm On May 30, 2016 |
I just saved a life today on my way out. I
asked a beggar how would he feel if l gave him
1000gh?
He replied "Oga, I will die,"
So l kept my money. Thank God I've saved a
life! |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 6:58am On May 31, 2016 |
The day after his wife disappeared in a car accident, a man answered his door to find two grim-faced Nigerian Police. "We are sorry Mr Onoriode, but we have some information about your wife," said one Police. "Tell me! Did you find her?" Onoriode shouted. The Policemen looked at each other. One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?" Fearing the worst, Mr Onoriode said, "Give me the bad news first." The Police said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in Third Mainland Bridge." "Oh my God!" exclaimed Onoriode swallowing hard, he asked, "What's the good news?" The Police continued, "When we brought her out, she had five fishes and three tortoises clinging to her." Stunned, Mr Onoriode demanded, "If that's the good news, what's the great news?" The Police said, "We are going to bring her out again tomorrow." One Word For The Police. This Video Is So Funny Semester Result (NJUWO Episode 5) Download Here http://www.njuwo.com/2016/05/very-funny-video-semester-result-njuwo.html?m=1 |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 8:03am On Jun 01, 2016 |
A guy walked up to his friend one sunday and said, "I'm sleeping with the pastor's wife. Can you hold him in church after service for me?" The friend agreed and after mass, he started talking to the pastor and asking him all kind of stupid questions just to keep him occupied. After about an hour, the pastor got angry and asked the guy what's up. Feeling guilty, the guy confessed, "My friend is sleeping with your wife right now." The pastor then smiled and said, "You should run back home and check your wife, my wife has been dead for years." This Video Is So Funny Semester Result (NJUWO Episode 5) Download Here http://www.njuwo.com/2016/05/very-funny-video-semester-result-njuwo.html?m=1 |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by Prince113: 3:00pm On Jun 01, 2016 |
An old farmer wrote a letter to his son in prison." Son this year I will not plant cassava and yam because I can't dig the field, I know if you were here you would have helped me". The son replied his father "Dad don't even think of digging the field because that's were I burried the money I stole". NIGERIAN POLICE" on reading this letter went early in the morning to the house, dug the whole field in search of the money but nothing was found. The next day the son wrote his father again "Dad you can now plant your cassava and yam this is the best I can do from here. Dad replied " haaa my son you are too powerful indeed ,even in prison you still command police men to work for me,I was so suprised to see the IG and team holding hoes and shovels, digging my farm. I will write to you when I want to harvest. visit diz9ja.com for funny jokes! 1 Like |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 10:04pm On Jun 01, 2016 |
Hahahahaha!! Very Funny Video, "Don't Kill Me" NJUWO Episode 6. Download It Here http://www.njuwo.com/2016/06/very-funny-video-dont-kill-me-njuwo.html |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 8:13am On Jun 02, 2016 |
A pretty woman was driving down a country road in her new sports car when something went wrong and it broke down. Luckily, she happened to be near a farmhouse. She went up to the farmhouse and knocked on the door. When the farmer answered, she said to him, "It's Sunday night and my car broke down! I don't know what to do! Can I stay here for the night until tomorrow when I can get some help?" "Well," said the farmer, "You can stay here, but I don't want you messing with my sons, Okafor and Okoro." She looked through the screen door and saw two men standing behind the farmer. She judged them to be in their early twenties. "Okay," she said. After they have gone to bed for the night the woman began to get a little hot just thinking about the two boys in the room next to her. So she quietly went into their room and said, "Boys, how would you like for me to teach you the ways of the world?" They said, "Huh?" She said, "The only thing is, I don't want to get pregnant, so you have to wear these rubbers." She put them on the boys, and the three of them went it all night long. Forty years later, Okafor and Okoro were sitting on the front porch, rocking back and forth. Okafor said, "You remember that woman that came by here about forty years ago and showed us the ways of the world?" "Yeah", said Okoro, "I remember." "Well, do you care if she gets pregnant?" "No," said Okoro, "I don't care." "Me too" said Okafor, "Let's take these things off jor!" Hahahahaha!! Very Funny Video, "Don't Kill Me" NJUWO Episode 6. Download It Here http://www.njuwo.com/2016/06/very-funny-video-dont-kill-me-njuwo.html |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 9:18am On Jun 03, 2016 |
This is how some prayer warriors make GOSSIP sound like PRAYER POINTS. They start like this, "People Of God, let's remember Brother Toibu Alex in our prayers. He has gonorrhea and doctors said they are even screening him for HIV too, but we know that our God can heal him. So brothers and sisters let's pray for divine healing, pray, pray." "Brethren let's also pray for Sister Annabel and Brother Chinedu. Sister Annabel is pregnant for Brother Chinedu and Brother Chinedu is not ready for marriage now, you know they are not married abi? Okay! He told her to abort it but she refused. The situation is tearing them and their families apart. Let's pray to God for peace and amicable settlement." "Children of God's kingdom, let's remember Mr and Mrs Fabiyi in our prayers. Mr Fabiyi left Mrs Fabiyi for Sister Glory in the choir. That light skin slim sister that works in the Bank, Hmmm!! Let's pray for God to restore Mr and Mrs Fabiyi marriage." Brethren pray, open your mouth and pray. The Lord will answer us. " And finally before we round up, let us lift Sister Patience before the Lord. She has been suspended from her place of work due to some fraud in her office. We know she is innocent. Even though she has been wearing some bling bling lately plus that new car she just bought. Erhh, let's pray that as the police are carrying out their investigations. Those things will not be seized. Please praaaaay. She is our Sister. Pray, pray, pray!!! Hahahahaha!! Very Funny Video, "Don't Kill Me" NJUWO Episode 6. Download It Here http://www.njuwo.com/2016/06/very-funny-video-dont-kill-me-njuwo.html 1 Like |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by Lawcurrent(m): 5:24pm On Jun 03, 2016 |
A married man woke up one morning. He
took his marriage certificate,stared at it
seriously for a very long time. His wife then
asked him, why are u looking on the marriage
certificate like that? He answered, i'm looking
for the expiry date |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by joewill(m): 12:39am On Jun 04, 2016 |
I nid the massive support of Nigerians to winnning this competition. its currently been led by an Albania, and we want a Nigerian to come out the first and make the country proud. vote for me Please, by clicking this link, http://www.stptax.com/diary-destined-nigerian-accountant/ scroll down to the bottom and like my short story - its Twixted Tax Tale competition... means a whole lot to me. thanks. (Please note that, opera mini does not work in this link, use UC web, Chrome or any other browser) its for love... |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 6:31am On Jun 04, 2016 |
Ring, ring, ring ... The Librarian's phone rang. He picked it up and the following conversation ensued: "What time does the library open?" The man on the phone asked. "9am." came the reply. "And what's the idea of calling me at home in the middle of the night to ask a question like that?" "9am.??" The man asked in a disappointed voice. "Yes, 9am.!" The librarian said. "Why do you want to get in before 9am?" "Who said I want to get in?" The man sighed sadly. "I want to get out." Hahahahaha!! Very Funny Video, "Don't Kill Me" NJUWO Episode 6. Download It Here http://www.njuwo.com/2016/06/very-funny-video-dont-kill-me-njuwo.html |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by GeorgeBenson805: 6:24pm On Jun 04, 2016 |
Comedy video of the month
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1l6r-h70UU |
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