After Buhari was announced as the winner of the presidential election, people started trekking for him . A man trekked from Lagos to Abuja and we thought the people were insane, and never knew they were being prophetic, they saw the future. Now everybody is trekking.
Whether you like it or not you must trek. Now Nigeria is in the period of mass trekking for Buhari. Well, all the same, the children of Israel trekked from Egypt to the promise land. It's now our turn; Nigerians are trekking to their promise land. Turn to your neighbour and say, Neighbour! Shout neighbour! I will 'trek' there before you. Happy trekking!!!

I'm tired of this Dettol Adverts, children nowadays believe there are Germs everywhere.... My 5 yr old Nephew goes around with a Dettol can in his pocket. He Sprinkles his friends before he plays with them..... Sprinkles his books before reading..... This morning, my tea and bread tasted awful...I Took a few sips n bites before I realized my Nephew had poured Dettol in my Breakfast to kill germs.... If my nephew doesn't kill me,who will?

A MUST READ FOR ALL TEACHERS

Teacher Ovie Philip was very sad when he heard about the death of his dear mother in the village. He least expected it because his mum only complained of a slight headache and needed just a first aid medical attention. Teacher Ovie rushed to the village to ascertain facts and cause of his mum's death.
At the village clinic, the medical doctor invited him inside his office to explain the circumstances that led to his mum's death. The doctor looked on his table a couple of times before opening his mouth to say, "Teacher Ovie, this is the prescription meant for your mother". As he lifted the paper into the air as though he was showing it to God. He continued, "Instead of this drug on this paper before me, she administered this one" showing the empty container to Teacher Ovie, "It was thirty minutes later before it was noticed by one of our senior nurses who was also going to get a drug from the pharmacy." The doctor added, "Teacher Ovie, we are very very sorry for this mishap. Forgive us." The doctor landed.
Teacher Ovie asked, "May I please see the two nurses? I mean the one who gave out the drug and the one who administered it."
The doctor slapped the office bell on his table and a young nurse rushed in. "Please call me Susan Agharite and Onome Yole" The doctor instructed. Teacher Ovie's heart leaped up on hearing the two familiar names.

Teacher Ovie was dumbfounded when he finally saw the figures standing before him. They were the two girls he aided to pass their WAEC exams. He smuggled their answer booklets out of the exam room for some scouts to copy the answers for them. Each scored A in Maths and Biology, Physics and Chemistry. In fact their grades can be envied by even a professor. The doctor watched Mr Ovie expecting a certain line of action, but Mr Ovie turned slowly towards the doctor and whispered silently in pain, "I murdered my own mother five years ago."

Are you a teacher? Do you give your students the chance to study and be tested independently? Do you 'write' exams your students are supposed to be writing? Please don't start killing a friend or family from today. May God be with us all in Jesus name, Amen!

#TeamLanicky

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dcFtPFa4GMs

How students hate afternoon class even the teacher made it more hilarious and you will be smiling all day after watching it. Kindly subscribe to our channel today!

A fine and sweet lady went to a pastor and said
, "Pastor I'm above 40 and still single.
I've gone out with twenty guys but when time calls for marriage they……"
She started crying. "My daughter stop crying, I think you have a
spiritual husband." Said the pastor.
"Yes I have noticed that and that's why I'm here for
you to help me." The pastor got attracted to her sweet body and wanted to
take advantage of it. He gazed at her romantically and said,
"You see, your spiritual husband kept some
repellants in your privates. So I need to go in there,
destroy it and then anoint the place."
"But that's against the will of God" said the lady.
The pastor got angry and said, "Are you here to teach me the bible or you came for deliverance?"
. "Forgive me sir."
"Don`t you know that some demons require extra
ordinary pattern before you can get rid of them."
explained the pastor.
The frustrated lady accepted. After few minutes of love making he said to
her, "You are now free and will get
married soonest."
The lady thanked him and said, "I hope any man that
makes love to me from today will no longer die."

A man went to a night club with his wife. As they were sitting down drinking, the wife saw her ex lover. She then said to her husband, "Darling can you see that bastard dancing over there?". "Yes, any problem?" asked the husband. "He is the one I told you that I dated all my life and he dumped me on the altar during our wedding." Said the wife. The man said with a loud voice, "What! Are you serious?" "Yes darling!" replied the wife. The man stood up and walked towards the guy while his wife followed him. He tapped the guy on the shoulder and said, "Hey young man, it's a pleasure to meet you." The surprised guy asked, "Sir, please, may I know you". The man replied, "I'm the fool that married this good for nothing woman. You are such a lucky man. Enjoy yourself man".

Yesterday I took a girl out on a date and after we finished eating I went to pay for the food. The waiter didn't have 500 naira change to give to me. I asked the girl to sit down and let's wait for the waiter to go look for change for me and surprisingly she said I was embarrasing her that I should act like a big boy and leave the change for the waiter.
Is she crazy?
Is she mad?
Does she know the things 500 naira can do? I guess she doesn't.
Well, let me highlight few of the things 500 naira can do.
500 naira can buy you 5 loaves of bread and two fishes if you are lucky to have Jesus around you, you will feed 5,000 people. Is that the money she want me to leave?

Sardine = N150
Indomie (Hungry man size) = N100
2 Eggs = N60
Plastic Coke = 100
Total = N410
And you say 500 naira is a small money?

500 naira that I'll use to buy 3 albums and good earpiece?

Rice N100
Beans N50
Meat N100
Plastic malt N100
And the remaining 150 to play Bet9ja and she is saying 500 naira is a chicken change? It's not a chicken change but a buffalo change. I swear she is not alright.
Half carton of Indomie is even N500 naira sef, and she doesn't know?
Do you know how many players Arsene Wenger of Arsenal will buy with 500 Naira?
The most annoying thing is that it's possible that this girl has never given 500 naira offering in church. You won't know the value of 500 naira until you borrow 500 naira credit from MTN and you finished using it and it's now time to pay back.

A friend and I were exchanging words about AS and AA blood type. I asked my Mum about my blood type.
Me: Mummy!
She: Yes Ofego, what is it?. Me: Which blood type am I? .
She: Blood of Jesus.

WOMEN WILL ALWAYS BE WOMEN.
A newly married couple
were taking a walk when a dog suddenly ran towards them, and threatened to bite. They both knew it would bite them. Then the husband lifted the wife up to let the dog bite him instead. The dog stopped before them, barked and barked for a while and ran backwards, and left them. The husband put the wife down expecting a kiss or a hug from her for being so protective of her. But instead the wife shouted, "I have seen people throwing stones and sticks at dogs but this is the first time I am seeing someone trying to throw his wife at a dog". One Word For This Woman.

Your mom is sure in the spirit,

njuwo:
A friend and I were exchanging words about AS and AA blood type.
I asked my Mum about my blood type.

Me: Mummy!

She: Yes Ofego, what is it?.
Me: Which blood type am I?
.

She: Blood of Jesus.

WHITE NURSES VS NIGERIAN NURSES.

If you see where a woman is giving birth
oversea, even as a man you would want to get pregnant. In oversea, for only one woman in labour, you
will see An Obstetrician, A Gynecologist, A General Surgeon, A Specialist Surgeon, An
Anesthestist, A Registered Nurse /Midwife/,
plus Social Welfare Officer and So On. And they pet a woman in labour that's why it is
called Delivery Room over there. But in Nigeria it is called "Labour
Room" and if you see what women go through
there, you will agree with me that it should also
be called "Confession Room". Nigerian
Nurses makes pregnancy look like a criminal
offence, and the worse thing is that they are in every hospital both in private and government
hospitals.

When a woman who is about to give birth is brought to
the hospital, they will throw her into the
labour room and lock her up like a criminal awaiting trial and they will go to the reception
and starts gossiping or go into the Doctor's office and
be gisting until the woman starts shouting
like a goat. And when they go to meet her, it is not
to help her but to insult her. You will hear things like, "I'm I the one that got you pregnant?
The man that did this to you is outside o!
Madam push o! Madam please open your leg jor!
Or you want to kill your baby? You better push
now or I will leave you here o!

Funke Akindele in latest Jenifa's diary series season 4 2016

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=58yJqaKklZM

Olisa Ike wrote: A girl at a bus stop spotted a handsome man and without hesitation went to him and said, "You look cute. I like you." The man out of shock simply placed his hand on her shoulder and said, "My dear, this love and infatuation are all nothing. You are too young to be behaving like this. Please go home and study hard so that you can have a successful life." He then placed a piece of paper on her hand and said, "I have written some words of wisdom and bible verses for you. Read them before you go to sleep." And then he walked away.
The girl went back to her hostel in shame and before she slept she opened up the paper and read thus: "Are you blind? My wife was standing behind me. Anyway, this is my hotline. Call me anytime. By the way, I like you too!" One Word For This Man.

See how Nigerian Girls Form:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uQugVgsQpI

See how Nigerian Girls Form:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uQugVgsQpI

I slept off while waiting for my roommate, he keeps late night. As I tried turning around, a huge dark figure with flamy eyes opened my door, I wanted to scream but all strength was gone. Was it a dream or vision? I can't tell. He stared deep into my eyes and handed me a letter, I opened it.........
Dear Ofego,
I couldn't make it home last night because I died. I thought life after death is an elusion but I'm here lonely and afraid in pains and in torments The torture is unending, I cant explain it but am dying a thousand times in a second.
You never told me this place was for real and how to avoid it. We grew up together, went to school together and did everything in common but you never told me about this new life of yours. I asked you severally and you jokingly pushed it aside. I was a good man with a charitable heart but that didn't count here. The Angel told me, I'm without Christ and my name is not in the book of life. I asked you yesterday morning what's this born again stuff and you said you don't want to bore me. I'm in pains, can you hear the screams, the torments of the great and the less, I was told it's for eternity.
You betrayed our friendship, you never told me sex was fornication but you cautioned me against AIDS, you never told me getting high was drunkenness, you just told me not to drive, you never told me lying was sin, all you just said was don't be caught. I hate you for this....aaaahhhh.....aaahhhh....aaa I'm dying again here but I'm alive, the flames keeps getting hotter. I wish you were here. You deceived me to the end. If you had told me about Jesus and salvation I knew I wouldn't be here. I died only a few hours ago, I was drunk and ran into a pole but it seems I have been here for years. Please tell my family and all our friends about salvation. I'm dying again but death won't come.
It's me, Osas. I woke up at about 2:45AM with a banging headache and my phone ringing, I picked it up and what I heard scared me to my bones...."Hello, Osas is dead".

Today is still another opportunity to tell someone very dear to you about Jesus Christ and His saving grace. I just told you because I will never want you to end up in HELL.

My Mummy invited some
people to dinner. At the
table, she turned to my six year old sister and asked her to say the blessing. ''I don't know what to
say,'' the little girl replied,
''Just say what you hear
mummy say'', I
told her.
My little sister bowed her head and said, ''Dear Lord,
why on earth did I invite
all these people to
dinner?''.

An Arab was walking through the Sahara desert, desperate for water, when he saw something, far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he walked towards the image, only to find a little old Jewish man sitting at a card table with a bunch of neckties laid out on it. The Arab asked, "Please, I'm dying of thirst, can I have some water?". The man replied, "I don't have any water, but why don't you buy a tie? Here's one that goes nicely with your robes." The Arab shouted, "I don't want a tie, you idiot, I need water!" "Okay, don't buy a tie. But to show you what a nice guy I am, I'll tell you that over that hill there, about 4 miles, is a nice restaurant. Walk that way, they'll give you all the water you want." The Arab thanked him and walked away towards the hill and eventually disappeared. Three hours later the Arab came crawling back to where the man was sitting behind his card table. He said, "I told you, about 4 miles over that hill. Couldn't you find it?" . The Arab rasped, "I found it. They wouldn't let me in without a tie."

Husband: Darling!
Wife: Yes Honey!
Husband: Come!
Wife: Why?
Husband: Come first. Wife: Okay, I'm here.
Husband: Pull off your clothes.
Wife: What for?
Husband: Please, do it now! Wife pulls her clothes off. Husband: Pull off your panties.
Wife: (confused) why?
Husband: Just do it now!
Wife: Okay. (Pulls her panties off). I'm naked now.
Husband: Come to the bed!
Wife: (Goes to the bed) Here I am! Husband: Spread your legs!
Wife: (Stunned) I've done it!
Husband: Help me count my money! Wife: Must I be naked while counting your money?
Husband: Yes, because I don't trust you when it comes to money! Which Tribe Is This Kind Of Husband From?

I was on a bus going to Lagos. The guy on the front seat had never been in the front seat of any motor vehicle before in his life. As we were leaving Warri, he was surprised to see the driver changing gears now and then. When we got to Ore the bus stopped and everyone got out of the bus to buy food and to relieve our bodies but this guy remained alone in the bus and took out the gear lever. When we all got back on the bus. He gave the driver the gear lever. "Driver take, this is the thing you have been struggling to pull out ever since we left Warri."

It was my Auntie's
22nd birthday in the year 2000, after grooving till
9:30pm at Elegushi beach, we
were on our way back in the rented bus at about
9:50pm (If you are
familiar with that area
then, all you will see is
bushes and darkness left
and right and a car drives by every
fifteen minutes) Then it happened
in the middle of
nowhere, the tyre of our bus
burst and to add insult upon injury there was no extra tyre so we where
stranded and started
looking for lifts at least to
take us home. The next thing
we heard was my little
cousin screaming, 'LOOK!
LOOK! WHAT IS THAT?'
What we saw was a white cloth which seems like it was
floating towards us in the
dark, O boy, see Usain Bolt in action, everybody took to their heels except my born again Auntie who started
binding and casting
. All of a sudden the thing picked
up speed towards her and
she took to her heels too, overtaking all of us. The
thing started running after us and shouting, "What is pursuing you people na?" Lo and behold it was the
bus driver. No one knew when he went to piss. He was so black and was putting on
white. His skin blended
with the dark
ness.

No matter how
beautiful and
handsome you are, just
remember Baboon and Gorillas also
attract
tourists, so stop Boasting.

No matter how big and
strong you are, you will not carry
yourself to your
grave, so be humble.

No matter how tall you
are, you can never see tomorrow, be patient.
No matter how light
skinned you
are, you will always need
light in darkness, so take caution.
No matter how rich and
many
cars you have, you will
always walk to bed, so be contented.

Take Life Easy,
Life is "Exp. + Exp. + Exp."
Yesterday was Experience.
Today is Experiment. Tomorrow is Expectation.
So use your Experience in
your
Experiment to achieve
your
Expectations, thank you, I remain Ofego, your Loyal Comedian that is Loyal like Loya Milk.

Musa goes into a library to ask for a book on suicide. He met with Akpos the Librarian. MUSA: Please do you have a book on suicide? AKPOS: Why do you want to read that kind of book? MUSA: I want to commit suicide! Akpos stares at him for a while and says, "who is gonna return the book?

Musa goes into a library to ask for a book on suicide. He met with Akpos the Librarian. MUSA: Please do you have a book on suicide? AKPOS: Why do you want to read that kind of book? MUSA: I want to commit suicide! Akpos stares at him for a while and says, "who is gonna return the book?

Me (Ofego): Obuke where can I get a Ladder?
Obuke: Ofego for what?
Me (Ofego): I am attending a wedding reception today . Obuke: And so? Me (Ofego): I was told I will be sitting on the high table.

A lady committed a crime and she was taken to court. The punishment for the crime was life imprisonment. She shed tears for help but to no avail. When the case was called in court she started weeping. Her husband, family and friends who accompanied her started weeping but there was no hope. But something happened. Before the lady could stand in the witness box a man stood up and the court room was silent. Everyone looked at Him. He was noble and gentle. He stood in the witness box and interceded on behalf of the woman. The case was difficult, yet He used all His strength, energy and resources to fight on behalf of the woman. After a long legal battle between the man and the accusers, the lady was set free. The lady fell before the man and asked, 'WHO ARE YOU?' The next day the lady deliberately committed another crime and was brought to the same court. As soon as she entered the courtroom, she saw the man who interceded for her the previous day on the judgement seat. He was no longer a lawyer, but a judge. With smiles on her face the lady said, 'I have come again' The man lifted his head and said, 'Yesterday I was a lawyer, so I fought for you, even when you were guilty. But today I am a judge and my judgement must be fair.' With tears in the ladie's eyes she asked for the second time, 'WHO ARE YOU?' and the man replied, 'I AM THE SAVIOUR'. Today Christ Jesus is our lawyer and redeemer, but a day is coming when He will give a fair judgement to everyone. JESUS IS COMING SOON, SO PREPARE TO MEET HIM.