Not my writing. Thought provoking article:

Yesterday I ended up going to the gym later than usual because I had some stuff I needed to finish around the house (i.e. pointlessly surfing YouTube and then starting Twitter beef), but while I was at the gym I had a pretty interesting moment with some ladies beside me on the elliptical. Seeing as my broken finger is still healing, I can’t really lift weights, but I can run my ass off which is what I’ve been doing a lot of lately. Unfortunately I don’t have a trusty pair of headphones, so I constantly find myself in other people’s conversations if they speak loud enough to overpower the music. Well, yesterday I ended up hearing a conversation that ended in one of the most hilarious accusations I’ve ever heard: “You’re going home to cook for your man? Ohmygod you’re so damn D!CK-WHIPPED!”
So here’s essentially how the conversation went:
Girl A: “I really need to lose like 5 more pounds and I’ll be happy so I’m not getting off this thing for a while!”
Girl B: “I know, right?! I always feel so fat after Easter!”
Girl C: “Well I can’t stay so late, because I have to get home and cook for Derrick. His flight lands soon so by the time he makes it home he’s gonna be starving.”
Girl A & Girl B:

Girl A: “OK so you’re gonna run home to cook for him now?”
Girl B: “Why are you acting so D!CK-WHIPPED?!”
Girl C: “He always cooks for me when he can, so why shouldn’t I do the same for him when I have the time?”
Girl B: “MAY-BE because you’re not his servant!”
Girl C: “Sorry for actually having a man…”
Me (trying to act like I’m not eavesdropping):

At this point Girl C steps off her machine, gets dressed and bounces. Now, as a certified people-watcher, I realize that I cannot assume that this was a serious and unusual interaction since I don’t know them or their senses of humour. But as soon as Girl C left, Girl A & B absolutely went IN on her calling her a useless Stepford wife, and then comparing Girl C’s relationship to a romantic version of Ari & Lloyd from Entourage (which made me laugh – but not loud enough for them to hear).

As per “Baby, if that salad is good, you MIGHT get some of this LONG D!CK tonight!”
What made me laugh was not just the ridiculous assertion that a woman doing something nice for her man equals her being d!ck-whipped and suffocating at the hands of patriarchy, but the fact that I’ve heard this VERY same assertion made by MANY women before (just stated in various different ways). It’s interesting that in a society where we are all clamouring to love and understand each other, we still hold on to FAKE forms of emotional and mental independence. This is an issue with MEN and WOMEN, and it seems to be more about GENERATIONS than GENDER. It feels like back in the days, the idea of helping one another was central to the concept of building a successful relationship, while today, doing anything overtly nice, caring or thoughtful is seen as a sign of overt weakness. So while our parents might have seen cooking for one another as a gesture of love, cooking for each other now is the equivalent of doing THE most.

How exactly did we get to the point where relationships are MORE about protecting our individuality than becoming a cohesive unit? It’s sad that some women can see helping a man out as being “d!ck-whipped” and it’s equally as sad that dudes who show how much they care for their women are also labelled “p*ssies”.
As the two girls gathered their stuff to leave, they kept muttering back and forth about how disappointed they were in Girl C for not standing up for herself (and I guess telling her hungry man to go F*^K himself), which reminded me how important it is for us a society to propagate BALANCE. You can be as independent as you want, but still be able to love and care for someone. And as I kept jogging on the machine, lost in my thoughts, I was suddenly brought back to reality when one of the girls looked over at me and said:
“You can STOP pretending like you weren’t listening now!”
Well, I suck at snooping, but the fact remains – if you believe showing any kindness or servitude towards your significant other makes you “whipped” you got a SCREWED-UP definition of individuality.
This Is Your Conscience
- See more at: http://www.thisisyourconscience.com/2013/04/fyi-ladies-did-you-know-cooking-for-your-man-means-your-dck-whipped/#sthash.7WAPnBd5.dpuf

http://www.thisisyourconscience.com/2013/04/fyi-ladies-did-you-know-cooking-for-your-man-means-your-dck-whipped/

I can only assume one thing from this write up, that lady A and lady B are Definately not Nigerians because a Nigerian lady has no issues cooking for her man. Afterall if i dont take care of him who will?

^ exactly.

In timaya's voice: God abeg o abeg ooo, neva let me marry madwoman oo. Cos, if dis women r nt mad, wot is difficult in cooking 4 ur husband nt even a boyfrd. Smh 4 dis kind generation of ladies. Spit on dier yeye face

Haywhymido: In timaya's voice: God abeg o abeg ooo, neva let me marry madwoman oo. Cos, if dis women r nt mad, wot is difficult in cooking 4 ur husband nt even a boyfrd. Smh 4 dis kind generation ladies. Spit on dier yeye face

LWKMD......

I find it highly gratifying to cook for my husband. I make food for him sometimes by 3am. Love is selfless.

kreami diva: I find it highly gratifying to cook for my husband. I make food for him sometimes by 3am. Love is selfless.

. Na wa oh, so we still get ladies wey get brain 4 dis world. 3am really when sum yeye ladies go stil dey sleep 4 8a.m, abeg se u get younger sister wey b lyk u. Kindly arrange a meetin 4 us abeg who want better thin

I like the mindset of the women here thus far. I think the usual women-babies are already asleep as it's past their bedtime

2buff: I like the mindset of the women here thus far. I think the usual women-babies are already asleep as it's past their bedtime

damilola_luv:

Haywhymido: . Na wa oh, so we still get ladies wey get brain 4 dis world. 3am really when sum yeye ladies go stil dey sleep 4 8a.m, abeg se u get younger sister wey b lyk u. Kindly arrange a meetin 4 us abeg who want better thin

Lol. Sisters all taken! I'm not being boastful or anything,when i had my baby through c.s,i always felt miserable watching my mum and MIL serve my husband.one day,i when he got back,before any of the women could say anything,i was already in the kitchen preparing his food.it was painful,considering the kind of pain i was in at the moment but i felt relieved that day. Seriously,it's not a big deal.my mum still makes my dad's food so why wouldn't i

specialguest: I can only assume one thing from this write up, that lady A and lady B are Definately not Nigerians because a Nigerian lady has no issues cooking for her man. Afterall if i dont take care of him who will?

From the write-up, yes. But then Nigerian women also exhibit such traits. There are many of them that find it particularly difficult cooking for their bfs.

I am not advocating slavery or seemingly desperate role-assumptions, [especially] when there is no sign/promise of nuptial bonds. It's just mind-boggling imagining a future with such a person. It's easy analysis: ''if you cannot take care of 'things' now, what is the probability that you can do so in the future?''

Such women usually end up marrying weaklings or sissies. That's if they ever get married.

Cooking is my hooby

kreami diva:

Lol. Sisters all taken! I'm not being boastful or anything,when i had my baby through c.s,i always felt miserable watching my mum and MIL serve my husband.one day,i when he got back,before any of the women could say anything,i was already in the kitchen preparing his food.it was painful,considering the kind of pain i was in at the moment but i felt relieved that day. Seriously,it's not a big deal.my mum still makes my dad's food so why wouldn't i

You are dying breed, it's really saddening.

Your family lives the quintessential African family lifestyle, one in which I grew up in, one everyone should strive to emulate.

I fink those women (mind u, they are not ladies) r either lesbians or feminists. Feminists r responsible 4 d failed family system in d U.S.
Nigerian girls if una like, copy them @ ur own risk.

if a wife dont want to cook for her husband others that are willing will do it for her....shikena

specialguest: I can only assume one thing from this write up, that lady A and lady B are Definately not Nigerians because a Nigerian lady has no issues cooking for her man. Afterall if i dont take care of him who will?

Nigerian women of these days? I doubt that. Maybe you should ask some of your fellow female Nairalanders who have decided within themselves that if a man can't cook for himself, then he is on a long thing...

I guess they have been tryna imitating the likes of lady A and lady B. It's just sad...

kreami diva:

Lol. Sisters all taken! I'm not being boastful or anything,when i had my baby through c.s,i always felt miserable watching my mum and MIL serve my husband.one day,i when he got back,before any of the women could say anything,i was already in the kitchen preparing his food.it was painful,considering the kind of pain i was in at the moment but i felt relieved that day. Seriously,it's not a big deal.my mum still makes my dad's food so why wouldn't i

God will bless you jare... I am really glad whenever I see or hear of anyone whom such values are yet held in high regards. It's crest-fallen that Nigerian girls of these days (some) are having a wrong notion about their roles in the home. My mom still cook till date, infact she doesn't feel alright not cooking the food in the house. Mist girls will tell you if you can't get a maid then you should be able to cook yourself and not expect them to cook. I really weep for many of em. Small time them go say husband no gree come.

fluid26:

From the write-up, yes. But then Nigerian women also exhibit such traits. There are many of them that find it particularly difficult cooking for their bfs.

I am not advocating slavery or seemingly desperate role-assumptions, [especially] when there is no sign/promise of nuptial bonds. It's just mind-boggling imagining a future with such a person. It's easy analysis: ''if you cannot take care of 'things' now, what is the probability that you can do so in the future?''

Such women usually end up marrying weaklings or sissies. That's if they ever get married.

..now why would you expect your girlfriend to cook for you?..sorry but you have no right to such privileges ok?...is she your mother or wife?..

..same reason you all love to cry and whine about giving your girlfriends money should apply here...till you marry her,her cooking is a privilege and not your right!

dmcdad:
Nigerian women of these days? I doubt that. Maybe you should ask some of your fellow female Nairalanders who have decided within themselves that if a man can't cook for himself, then he is on a long thing...

I guess they have been tryna imitating the likes of lady A and lady B. It's just sad...

Maybe you are referring to the ' Americanised' Nigerian ladies i mean The ones busy keeping up with the kardashians. Lolz

On a brighter note it depends on the type of relationship you guys have. But there's definately a stage in every serious relationship where the welfare of the man becomes the woman's business. Remember i said 'serious relationship' not the type you meet Ekaette today and expect she has to cook and clean after you next week.

Ngokafor:

..now why would you expect your girlfriend to cook for you?..sorry but you have no right to such privileges ok?...is she your mother or wife?..

..same reason you all love to cry and whine about giving your girlfriends money should apply here...till you marry her,her cooking is a privilege and not your right!

Are you double

specialguest:

Maybe you are referring to the ' Americanised' Nigerian ladies i mean The ones busy keeping up with the kardashians. Lolz

On a brighter note it depends on the type of relationship you guys have. But there's definately a stage in every serious relationship where the welfare of the man becomes the woman's business. Remember i said 'serious relationship' not the type you meet Ekaette today and expect she has to cook and clean after you next week.

Unfortunately, many of em are Americanised (as used by you). I think many of the modern girls are losing their moral values which are peculiar to Africans. Besides, the so-called westerners they look up to do cook in their homes. I guess you are right since they are always trying to keep up with the Kardashians.

As regards your second paragraph, I was not even referring to relationships buh marriage. Alot of girls are going with the idea that it is not their duty to prepare the food at home. Thy argue that it should be a shared responsibility between them and their husbands. Now, not that hubbies shouldn't assist or help out whenever they are chanced to do that, but to say it should be a shared duty between yourself and your hubby is unheard of...

God help the rest of us that are yet to be married.

fluid26:

From the write-up, yes. But then Nigerian women also exhibit such traits. There are many of them that find it particularly difficult cooking for their bfs.

I am not advocating slavery or seemingly desperate role-assumptions, [especially] when there is no sign/promise of nuptial bonds. It's just mind-boggling imagining a future with such a person. It's easy analysis: ''if you cannot take care of 'things' now, what is the probability that you can do so in the future?''

Such women usually end up marrying weaklings or sissies. That's if they ever get married.

Sure but have u seen any of such women living with men? No man will be able to live with such female chauvinists.

Three usual confused anti-cooking/anti-care girls are avoiding to comment out of fear because they see that real women have already entered the thread.

Chickens...

If she won't cook, then she can be a sextoy for the rest of her life!!!

When I see ladies who pride themselves in not cooking & catering for their men, I wonder why they even thought they needed a relationship in the 1st place.

Stupid & selfish girls with no home training. . . So they actually believe they can raise a family with fast foods abi? Una don dey craze!!!

Ngokafor:

..now why would you expect your girlfriend to cook for you?..sorry but you have no right to such privileges ok?...is she your mother or wife?..

..same reason you all love to cry and whine about giving your girlfriends money should apply here...till you marry her,her cooking is a privilege and not your right!

I do not envy you, as it appears you do not have the capacity to read and understand.

I guess Asian, White, Hispanic, Carriber, Black Western, and Arab women don't like cooking for their men because a few jobless Nigerian women have no choice but to cook.

Foreign women don suffer!

There is nothing worse than a woman who cooks but can't bear children.

Chuckles at an African's definition of a real woman. . Typical.

jassie: If she won't cook, then she can be a sextoy for the rest of her life!!!

When I see ladies who pride themselves in not cooking & catering for their men, I wonder why they even thought they needed a relationship in the 1st place.

Stupid & selfish girls with no home training. . . So they actually believe they can raise a family with fast foods abi? Una don dey craze!!!

When I see jobless men begging women to care for them and take pride in being lazy I wonder why they are not in a homosexual relationship in the first place.

Vapid and selfish boys with no home training should be banned from breeding period. Look at the rise of male hoes in honor of their pathetic sperm donors.

Truth hurts huh?

dmcdad:
Unfortunately, many of em are Americanised (as used by you). I think many of the modern girls are losing their moral values which are peculiar to Africans. Besides, the so-called westerners they look up to do cook in their homes. I guess you are right since they are always trying to keep up with the Kardashians.

As regards your second paragraph, I was not even referring to relationships buh marriage. Alot of girls are going with the idea that it is not their duty to prepare the food at home. Thy argue that it should be a shared responsibility between them and their husbands. Now, not that hubbies shouldn't assist or help out whenever they are chanced to do that, but to say it should be a shared duty between yourself and your hubby is unheard of...

God help the rest of us that are yet to be married.

Even Kardashian women cooks their own food.

Kloe cooks for her Nigerian husband Lamar.

Kourtney cooks for her baby daddy and kids.

Kim ho is not married and I wouldn't call Kanye West her man.

Just because people can afford to dine out doesn't mean they don't cook at home for anybody.

Even lesbians cooks for their women.

Stone age is dead!

2buff: Three usual confused anti-cooking/anti-care girls are avoiding to comment out of fear because they see that real women have already entered the thread.

Chickens...

There are women who have no issue cooking for their Bleep buddies, ; baby daddies, bootycallers, and one night standers but how come these women are not married to any of them?

Intelligent men looks for the total package when choosing wives and the ability to cook water doesn't make a good wife nor partner.

Little boys want to play house but don't have the guts to mature as standard married men.

It is not nobel peace worthy for a woman to cook noddles for her man but can she find cure to AIDS or end world hunger is worth bragging about.

Mrs.Chima:


Even Kardashian women cooks their own food.

Kloe cooks for her Nigerian husband Lamar.

Kourtney cooks for her baby daddy and kids.

Kim ho is not married and I wouldn't call Kanye West her man.

Just because people can afford to dine out doesn't mean they don't cook at home for anybody.

Even lesbians cooks for their women.

Stone age is dead!

It seems you just decided to skip the part where I stated it clearly that "even the so-called westerners they look up to do cook". Smh...

dmcdad:
It seems you just decided to skip the part where I stated it clearly that "even the so-called westerners they look up to do cook". Smh...

You clearly missed my point...typical.