Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,194,223 members, 7,953,857 topics. Date: Friday, 20 September 2024 at 07:51 AM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / How Do You Reconcile With Your Partner After A Shouting Session (29643 Views)
How Can I Reconcile With My Brother / When Is The Right Time To Have Sex With Ur Partner After Normal Delivery / Banker Who "Sliced" Husband’s joystick & Husband Reconcile[photos] (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (Reply) (Go Down)
Re: How Do You Reconcile With Your Partner After A Shouting Session by vivianc(f): 9:56pm On Sep 21, 2013 |
alutacontinua: No, ugly thoughts don't come to my head. I don't function that way. But you could be right. I always get the "I didn't mean it" apology. I just have a problem dealing with the heart that could produce such ugly thoughts, afterwards. I will try tho. Thank you. |
Re: How Do You Reconcile With Your Partner After A Shouting Session by Greatihex(m): 10:00pm On Sep 21, 2013 |
miqos02: you try as much as possible to avoid shouting at your partner, but sometimes you cant just help it. how do you reconcile after such big fightthings can be said out of anger. A reasonable persn, wen a thought cums into the mind, analysis nd checks wl b made and wl try to make out a positive tin abt it b4 talking. Bt a persn who is angry is no longer reasoning. So u shld knw d result. Immediately it cums in, it wl b spit out exactly d way it came. |
Re: How Do You Reconcile With Your Partner After A Shouting Session by 6ft: 10:10pm On Sep 21, 2013 |
so much to learn ..wat a thread! @yellowpawpaw Dear, its in u. If u want to curb pride and quick temper,u can do it. Nobody was born with such. Its the environment we find ourselves in that moulded us to what we r and we accepted that as normal. Look at those around u, like beget like.... Take each day as it comes. No too much expectations from anybody. And on and on........ I don't even know if I make sense. #so on point.. 1 Like |
Re: How Do You Reconcile With Your Partner After A Shouting Session by Playgal(f): 10:28pm On Sep 21, 2013 |
@ Veave.................I also have d same problem. Am tired. I don't know how to handle dis. My career and relationship. ...................................... veave: yellowpawpaw... please i need classes on how to handle pride and a quick temper. i also have a fast tongue too... i promise myself everyday i wunt flare upp and raise my voice... but i just dont know how... |
Re: How Do You Reconcile With Your Partner After A Shouting Session by fasho01(m): 10:34pm On Sep 21, 2013 |
This is a very enlightening thread. Sure majority of shouting sessions are usually ended with thy lights off but the comments so far is making me know what to do & how to even avoid shouting in the 1st place. Great thread! 1 Like |
Re: How Do You Reconcile With Your Partner After A Shouting Session by Rogo: 10:51pm On Sep 21, 2013 |
One of the atribute of good and sincere personality is the ability to know that he or she is wrong on an issue. I may say we have many bad minded people in nairaland. When u know u are wrong and refused to apologise u are a wicked and bad minded person, heaven is far from u. |
Re: How Do You Reconcile With Your Partner After A Shouting Session by brainzdh(m): 10:53pm On Sep 21, 2013 |
Great comments here, quite impressive. Here's a lil summary...... A Professor was teaching about Proverbs 15: 1. He asked his students, 'why do we shout in anger? Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?' The students thought for a while. One said, because we lose our calm. But why shout when the other person is just next to you? Asked the professor. Isn't it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you shout at a person when you are angry? The students gave some answers but none satisfied the Professor. Finally he explained, 'when two people are angry at each other, there is a distance in their hearts psychologically. To cover the distance, they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will shout to hear each other through that great distance. Then the Professor asked, 'What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly. Why? Because their hearts are psychologically close. The distance between them is very close. The Professor continued, 'When they love each other even more, what happens? They don't speak, only whisper and they even get closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that's all..... So next time you shout on a loved one, know that you are creating distance between your heart and that person’s heart. Annonymous Quotes: Never ruin an apology with an excuse In this life, when you deny someone an apology, you will remember it at time you beg forgiveness When you've done something wrong, admit it and be sorry. No one in history has ever choked to death from swallowing his pride Lastly.... Proverbs 15:1 says a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. 13 Likes |
Re: How Do You Reconcile With Your Partner After A Shouting Session by Nobody: 10:53pm On Sep 21, 2013 |
jamesbridget13: I hate somebody yelling @ me. I cant do it. But when ever i make my bf angry i simply say ''baby am sorry 4give me ok, i promise not 2 do it again, am sincerely sorry'' i will wait 4 his response after which i ask him 2 kiss me if sincerely he has 4given me. Lol I'm the opposite. Well it depends. If I am not in the wrong I won't apologize and we just wouldnt talk for a few hours or days. but if i am to blame I just laugh it off, say I'm sorry and then the issue is rectified. |
Re: How Do You Reconcile With Your Partner After A Shouting Session by simdam500(m): 11:07pm On Sep 21, 2013 |
Would just sit, stare and watch u yell 1 Like |
Re: How Do You Reconcile With Your Partner After A Shouting Session by Bunchersstab(m): 11:14pm On Sep 21, 2013 |
vivianc: Pls I also need help cos I don't know how to handle this and its ruining my relationships.dis 1 don change guys tire 1 Like |
Re: How Do You Reconcile With Your Partner After A Shouting Session by Maipride(f): 11:19pm On Sep 21, 2013 |
Royal Roy: RR ,So I will assume you have never said a word out of anger to your partner before? Words that you don't mean... or are you a saint? You have Never used a 'foul' word on her before... Some words are said purely out of ANGER... Nice thread by the way....have learnt a lot May God help me. |
Re: How Do You Reconcile With Your Partner After A Shouting Session by yokis(f): 11:34pm On Sep 21, 2013 |
i hate been yelled at and have never yelled at my fiancee like wise him tơơ. Instead we jus stop talking and keep quiet.........wats even d essence of shouting wen u can atleast talk calmly nd make ur points knowni |
Re: How Do You Reconcile With Your Partner After A Shouting Session by paulohgirlie(f): 11:41pm On Sep 21, 2013 |
The best thing is to say "im sorry", even wen am not at fault. Just to keep my home from falling apart. |
Re: How Do You Reconcile With Your Partner After A Shouting Session by maninmood(m): 12:09am On Sep 22, 2013 |
Every couple on earth have in one way or other yelled on each other. Personally, I do yell on my wife, and she shouts at me at some point as well. When we finish bawling, we would go our ways and in few minutes, I would find myself playing banters with her just to take her mind off the rift we had previously and good night s x to ensure the differences is done for. I am married for 5 years now. 1 Like |
Re: How Do You Reconcile With Your Partner After A Shouting Session by komek(m): 12:10am On Sep 22, 2013 |
arcbabe: this will sure make a lady cheap and make the guy feel afterall if i get her upset she will come begging on her knees naked and also round it up with sex. U have just spoken like ur age. ASUU oooooooooooooo, pls call off this strike. 1 Like |
Re: How Do You Reconcile With Your Partner After A Shouting Session by Larrysky(f): 12:34am On Sep 22, 2013 |
carefreewannabe: From my experience: To be ignored out of anger CAN be worse than to be yelled at.You are very correct. My Baby totally puts me off when he is angry. He will be around yet I will be missing him. Really hurting |
Re: How Do You Reconcile With Your Partner After A Shouting Session by soledadd: 12:45am On Sep 22, 2013 |
Couples differ in ways of settling quarrels. And its better one finds a way suitable for ones spouse so that issues may not escalat. My own i think may be different. And if applied by another may not work but it has been workng for us. Initially i usually appologise, but hubby sees it as if because i find it easy to render appology it makes me to always be misbehaving then if i appologise it does'nt seem to go down well with him. Again in our case there is nothing like one partner shouting to the other, because if i shout he would shout back and if he shouts i will fire back immediately saying everything i need to say before it becomes too late. At the end we would have quarrelled. No matter what after that we give ourselves some space for one or two hours. Then we would forget everyting and start conversing again as if nothing happened. After the quarrel, from what we voiced out each person will make amendment towards the others grieviances and we move on. No appologies no regrets from any side and no one is expecting appology. Its from quarelling that we reshape our behaviours to suit ourselves. |
Re: How Do You Reconcile With Your Partner After A Shouting Session by shypapa(m): 12:56am On Sep 22, 2013 |
ifyalways: Nowadays,I sit and reflect honestly first then apologize. I try to analyze "what went wrong, how we could have resolved it and how to avoid same scenario from repeating itself" .u make sense die dear |
Re: How Do You Reconcile With Your Partner After A Shouting Session by lastpage: 1:25am On Sep 22, 2013 |
vivianc: Pls I also need help cos I don't know how to handle this and its ruining my relationships. Am joining the party very late! ...just saw this. I'll be very brief as well. *Reflect on that statement itself: (It is Over between us). What does it really mean (a) to you (b) Generally (c) to him If what it means to you is what it means to (b) and especially (c ) l mean your darling then, is it really over as in dead and buried? If it is not really over as in you dont mean "this relationship is dead and buried" ... dont say it. Look for another phrase to express your anger You can even call him a kunt-sucker! It appears to me you say that phrase but you dont attach its real and general meaning to it ... but others do! ...and take you seriously. Its good you have identified that it is doing you harm.... adjusting is the next stage. Another thing is to tell your Pal (if you find it difficult to drop the phrase) that he should take note: If l say it is over when l am angry with you, dont take it literally.... I dont mean it is really over, l just mean you're a d.ic.k head (or something like you hurting me and l feel like kissing you! ) I am a bit temperamental myself and l am working very hard on it. Once l get into "the mood", l just look at you and switch my mind to something else that l like (like my kids). It has a calming effect on me somehow. ..... and l reduce the "vibration" a bit. Cheers Lastpage! |
Re: How Do You Reconcile With Your Partner After A Shouting Session by Miraclebaby1109: 1:32am On Sep 22, 2013 |
I'm sorry is the medicine and afterward good s9x |
Re: How Do You Reconcile With Your Partner After A Shouting Session by danot1030: 2:01am On Sep 22, 2013 |
bebe2:we men knw is trap quet right bt it is a welcom one and far honorabl n beta dan pretenc, aroganc and sturbonence. |
Re: How Do You Reconcile With Your Partner After A Shouting Session by NFSBob(m): 2:12am On Sep 22, 2013 |
ifyalways: Nowadays,I sit and reflect honestly first then apologize. I try to analyze "what went wrong, how we could have resolved it and how to avoid same scenario from repeating itself" .I just hope dat all marital problems can be resolved with sex but I pray dat u won't face a problem dat sex wount be able τ̅☺ solve. But honesltly ify, ur husband is a very lucky dude |
Re: How Do You Reconcile With Your Partner After A Shouting Session by Nobody: 2:52am On Sep 22, 2013 |
It do happen,esp 4rm me,cos am hot tempered,nd ma man is d coolest guy ve eva met.wen an argument gets heatd,he walks away.den i wil knw ve hurt him so much.i wil send him txt,prepare his favourite meal,cal him swt names,even d ones his mum cals him.hail him 2 his nick.CASE SETTLED.bt at tyms e no dy work oh.wat i do in harder cases is,i wil remind him of d day we met,hw we startd,hw far we ve gone,our dreams nd aspiration.i wil end by askin him,is dis hw u want it al 2 go down d drain,jst bcus of my stupidity.EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL.sharp sharp i go begin shade tearz.d nxt tin he wil b d 1 2 beg.lolz.[power of a woman] |
Re: How Do You Reconcile With Your Partner After A Shouting Session by settie: 3:09am On Sep 22, 2013 |
carefreewannabe: From my experience: To be ignored out of anger CAN be worse than to be yelled at. So right. Yelling is not encouraged. But not thrashing it out, knowing d issue is there n growing, is worse. I think i prefer a yelling wife to a "swelling in silence" one. Wt d former at least u r given a glimpse of d problem. As a man u work out a strategy to tackle it. Wt d latter, u only know there is a problem when d capacity to bear it has been exceeded. By then its a real big issue, trust me. If keeping quiet means u ll come back to d issue when nerves are calmer, then wonderful. Resolving goes beyond saying sorry n make up sex. They help a lot. But soon become routine, i mess up, i say sorry, makeup sex... That method is sustainable though short-termic. Developing d capacity to avoid recurrence is a beta long term solution. My take. 1 Like |
Re: How Do You Reconcile With Your Partner After A Shouting Session by Nobody: 4:09am On Sep 22, 2013 |
You can't. That's why one needs to think before speaking. Some spoken words cannot be unspoken. |
Re: How Do You Reconcile With Your Partner After A Shouting Session by Odichi(f): 5:36am On Sep 22, 2013 |
This yelling thing happens alot in my relationship and my husband is not the "I'm sorry" kind of person. But he apologies by buying gifts or asking for a date out. Marriage is not a child's play o. Would tell him am out after a heat,alot of hurtful words been said.but i find myself still here. |
Re: How Do You Reconcile With Your Partner After A Shouting Session by Ojeilevbare(m): 6:06am On Sep 22, 2013 |
She jt simply tells me I LUV 2, n it's ova. 1 Like |
Re: How Do You Reconcile With Your Partner After A Shouting Session by madone: 6:22am On Sep 22, 2013 |
I love this @ op Yelling? Yea I do it too but its just to get the attention off my woman or make her stop want ever she is doin I don't like, it does not last cos I have learnt to shut up when she tries to explain to her reasons. My voice will calm down when she start and the next tin on my mind is apology if I am wrong ut I she is wrong sh will apologise as she explains.that why I love her cos she just knows how to get me |
Re: How Do You Reconcile With Your Partner After A Shouting Session by stallion2: 6:39am On Sep 22, 2013 |
vivianc: Pls I also need help cos I don't know how to handle this and its ruining my relationships.you couldnt forget the evil words said to you cos you continued to think about them after the event |
Re: How Do You Reconcile With Your Partner After A Shouting Session by duruh: 6:40am On Sep 22, 2013 |
today God has placed me above malice by giving me a scope of quick reconsiliation. Imidiately i finish a quarel section-say in the moring, i can allow the moring to pass but afternoon wil never pass without me greeting the fello. This is bc the more you prolong reconsiliation the more it is difficult to reconcile and the more you get prone to health chalenges and lose fellowship with God. God help us. You can call me on 08060641170 for more advice. God bles you!
|
Re: How Do You Reconcile With Your Partner After A Shouting Session by Ngokafor(f): 6:49am On Sep 22, 2013 |
...wonder why someone should even yell to start with...it is usually counter productive cos there are more effective ways of registering one's displeasure. 1 Like |
Re: How Do You Reconcile With Your Partner After A Shouting Session by Odoemacyril(m): 6:49am On Sep 22, 2013 |
1st i try my best 2 kep my partna hapy and nt 2 hot her,....wen i am at fault i try my best 2 acept my fault and also apologis 2 her,..wen she is at fault i try my best 2 talk senc in2 her but if she stil dnt want 2 undastand wit me i wil put her ON and hav cul sex wit her ,..bcs she must b quiet and sumisiv afta d sex,...it work wela 4 me o |
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (Reply)
Pregnant Women And Weird Cravings! Share Your Story About Anyone!! / Why Do Africans Prefer Suffering Or Putting Themselves In Difficult Situations? / ‘My Husband No Longer Ejaculates Inside Me During Sex’
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 66 |