I find it difficult to tell my guy smethings and dis cause a lot of wahala in d affair. He's too secretive and always expect me to tell him d A-Z of my life.

Can u tell ur guy or lady evrything dat goes on in ur lyf?

Hw open are u to him/her?

Or are u d secretive type that keep lips sealed @ all times

Is there any limit to wat u can say.

So what things can u say and not say?

And y do people like lieing in their relationships?

Say smething pleaaaaaaaase.

i dont tell my hubby everything ,dats y its called a secret,if a man cant ´opne up to me,then y should i bother myself and tell him everything about me.

jekad:

i don't tell my hubby everything ,that is y its called a secret,if a man can't ´opne up to me,then y should i bother myself and tell him everything about me.

he will find out one day, and that can be the end of the relationship,no matter what it is just let hi know you so when he loves u, u can be rest assured that u are loved for who u are. besides there's suppose to be transparency in a true relationship

Can u tell your guy or lady evrything that goes on in your lyf? if he is open with me then i'll tell him almost everything 2 but not all

Hw open are u to him/her?Very open, i think

are u d secretive type that keep lips sealed @ all times only sometimes

Is there any limit to what u can say.oh God!!yes

So what things can u say and not say? it depends on how open u guys are to each other

And y do people like lying in their relationships? i tire o

smooooooth:

he will find out one day, and that can be the end of the relationship,no matter what it is just let hi know you so when he loves u, u can be rest assured that u are loved for who u are.  besides there's suppose to be transparency in a true relationship

wrong ,d relationship can also end when i know his own secrets

u guys should give us a break abeg,u want us to tell u our secrets like we r some senseless creature?


how will he know?or have u not heard that people even go to grave wt their secrets unknown?

jekad:

wrong ,d relationship can also end when i know his own secrets

u guys should give us a break abeg,u want us to tell u our secrets like we r some senseless creature?


how will he know?or have u not heard that people even go to grave wt their secrets unknown?

i meant both parties shld let their secrets out, not just ladies,how wil he find out? the world is a small global village, remenber? and they say nothing is hidden under the sun, and lies can travel for a 100years but truth will catch up with it in a day.
and if people took their secrets to the grave,,,,then how did any one know they had a secret?

jekad,nor go work u hear?cum begin dey answer ques 4 nland.love doctor .abeg i mizz u jo

smooooooth:

i meant both parties shld let their secrets out, not just ladies,how wil he find out? the world is a small global village,  remenber? and they say nothing is hidden under the sun, and lies can travel for a 100years but truth will catch up with it in a day.
and if people took their secrets to the grave,,,,then how did any one know they had a secret?

back to square 1,i said have u not heard dat pple go to their graves wt their secrets unknown?


tell a man my secret and let him use it against me ,wat is in d past should be left in d past,cos wen d wound of d past is opened it might affect the present,dat is why it is called past

beauteous:

jekad,nor go work u hear?come begin dey answer ques 4 nland.love doctor .abeg i mizz u jo

sweetheart no mind me jare,i dey shift today,i don work for morning

Be opne cause it's the best cause if you guys were honest with each other the relationship wil last long, I once had an experience with such that we were so secretive to ourselves that we barely talk about our problems, it was like we were just doing business like we were rivals and guess what the relationship did not last,

So I'll advice you to be open and learn to trust that is another thing which if missing in a relationship, would not last.

jekad:

back to square 1,i said have u not heard that people go to their graves wt their secrets unknown?


tell a man my secret and let him use it against me ,what is in d past should be left in d past,because when d wound of d past is opened it might affect the present,that is why it is called past

personnaly, i blive the past shld be left in the past, and thats not what i meant by secrets, things u know can end your relationship or be a problem to your marrige shld be communicated to your partner.like if you have been a prostitute b4,that might be a big blow when ur husband discovers that,unlike a case of black mail from an ex- that can be expected, after all u no be virgin when he met.

jekad:

back to square 1,i said have u not heard that people go to their graves wt their secrets unknown?


tell a man my secret and let him use it against me ,what is in d past should be left in d past,because when d wound of d past is opened it might affect the present,that is why it is called past

And this is why you should never ask your partner a question unless you are prepared to hear something you dont like.  I dont beleive in lieing to my husband but i dont believe everything I have done in my past needs to be reviled to him.  I believe that there are certain things that can effect us as a couple that need to be told but not everything.

Does he really need to know how many times today i went to the bathroom or how i picked my bush this am?  No but does he need to know that i took $200.00 out the joint account or a bill is due yes.  You have to pick and choose your battles and yes there will be secerts but not ones that will harm the relationship and no lies if he asks I will tell the truth and he should never hold that against me because he asked.

you dont have to tell him how many relationships u had, if he wants to know,u just tell him that u dnt want to remember them, that they bring ugly memories to u, besides u have him and thats all tyhat matters to u. that can make a guy reallyhappy.
but dont pretend and hide how experience u are in bed,most girls will want to form like they dnt know how to doa bj, or they never had it up their arse b4, stuffs like tht.then one day he gonna meet on of ur ex and find out u have been having it in all ur holes and doing some really shitty tins, that can hurt u know.
those are the kind of tins i feel u can say, belive me guys like to marry a 'decent LovePeddler'

sistawoman:

And this is why you should never ask your partner a question unless you are prepared to hear something you don't like.  I don't beleive in lieing to my husband but i don't believe everything I have done in my past needs to be reviled to him.  I believe that there are certain things that can effect us as a couple that need to be told but not everything.

Does he really need to know how many times today i went to the bathroom or how i picked my bush this am?  No but does he need to know that i took $200.00 out the joint account or a bill is due yes.  You have to pick and choose your battles and yes there will be secerts but not ones that will harm the relationship and no lies if he asks I will tell the truth and he should never hold that against me because he asked.

that is my point exactly,y should i tell him everything

Secretive.

Then y do guys prefer to be on the hearing side when it comes to secret and leave d girl to do the talking?

Then y do guys prefer to be on the hearing side when it comes to secret and leave d girl to do the talking? Why do they always expect u 2 say everything and then keep theirs to themselves. Isn't that true or can sme1 prove me wrong? For instance, a guy wud ask if u ar a virgin and yet wud't tell u if he is or not. If he finds out u r nt he feels bad yet he has had it to d brim wth oda girls b4 u bt wud't say anything n rather says u are a cheap commodity an a dog, dnt understand y guys are smehw difficult.

girlsoswit:

Then y do guys prefer to be on the hearing side when it comes to secret and leave d girl to do the talking? Why do they always expect you to say everything and then keep theirs to themselves. Isn't that true or can sme1 prove me wrong? For instance, a guy would ask if u ar a virgin and yet would't tell u if he is or not. If he finds out you're nt he feels bad yet he has had it to d brim wth oda girls before u bt would't say anything n rather says u are a cheap commodity an a dog,  dnt understand y guys are smehw difficult.

dont mind them,they think say na only them get sense

im not the kind who tells a guy "EVERYTHING" but that is for security reasons. you dont have to tell him everything. he has to know a relationship is give and take. you cant keep giving him info and allowing him to take it. just tell him the surface of your secrets and leave the core ALONE!!!

onyinye2:

im not the kind who tells a guy "EVERYTHING" but that is for security reasons. you don't have to tell him everything. he has to know a relationship is give and take. you can't keep giving him info and allowing him to take it. just tell him the surface of your secrets and leave the core ALONE!!!

onyinye but in d other thread u said you're not d type that  hides things from your boyfriend and u will tell him everything,this was your post

onyinye2:

personally im not the kind who would keep secrets from the guy im with. from the start, if i have something tell him, then i will tell him right then and there. if he excepts it cool, i guess the relationship can go forward. but he has a problem, see you later. because if you can't except me for who i am then, you don't need to be in my life. but i really don't that bad of secrets.

onyinye u have contradicted yaself

yeah i dont hide things that potentially will be found out. things that truly are important to the relationship. but there exceptions to some secrets. some need to stay in your closet, locked up. where no one can find them.

onyinye2:

yeah i don't hide things that potentially will be found out. things that truly are important to the relationship. but there exceptions to some secrets. some need to stay in your closet, locked up. where no one can find them.

sweetie u r still contradicting urself

jekad-- seconded

oka let me put it this way. lets say you are starting a new relationship with a guy oka. and you just so happen to be HIV positive. oka that kind of secret needs to be told from the start. not tucked underneath the rug. but some secrets that have no business being brought up to the surface need to stay done in gutter. those kind of secrets just need to stay with you personally.

onyinye2:

oka let me put it this way. lets say you are starting a new relationship with a guy oka. and you just so happen to be HIV positive. oka that kind of secret needs to be told from the start. not tucked underneath the rug. but some secrets that have no business being brought up to the surface need to stay done in gutter. those kind of secrets just need to stay with you personally.

onyinye u r still contradicting urself,if so y did u not say that most secrets should be told and not all,u specifically said dat u'll tell ur guy EVERYTHING


anyways lets forget it

jekad:

onyinye you're still contradicting yourself,if so y did u not say that most secrets should be told and not all,u specifically said that u'll tell your guy EVERYTHING


anyways lets forget it

alright i see what you are saying. i guess i should rephrase and had said "most" instead of "all"

onyinye2:

alright i see what you are saying. i guess i should rephrase and had said "most" instead of "all"

now u r talking sweetie

There's something called selective truthfulness (or something like that). Relationship is all based on trust.
Give him big pieces of info that'll make you gain his trust. you can choose to ignore telling him stuff later on

It seems to me that you've been open with him right from the get-go so a change will defntly raise a brow
Let him knoiw that you're finding it difficult to trust him and trust goes two-ways; just like taking his game to him

If you want to keep your secret thats a perfect way to do it. take the fight to him so it seems he started it.
After the saga you can delibrately forget the initail reason for the whole issue (your secret).

You'll prob win both ways.

As for men keepin secrets, well I'll comment on that later

I love Openess in relationship, not only does it help u know eachother more, its brings closeness and makes the heart fonder.

But ladies no matter what, a larger percentage of us talk more than our boos. They pay more attention while we talk away. But if a guy is soo tight assed to talk out at all, mehn! those ones are killers. They kill slowly or all at once.

jkpretty:

I love Openess in relationship, not only does it help u know eachother more, its brings closeness and makes the heart fonder.But ladies no matter what, a larger percentage of us talk more than our boos. They pay more attention while we talk away. But if a guy is soo tight assed to talk out at all, mehn! those ones are killers. They kill slowly or all at once.

my dear i wish all relationship can be like that, but he no fit u must to get something way u go keep.