Why ain't you into him

There is what we call Physical attraction to someone otherwise known as Chemistry, if this is not in any relationship, i tell you, it will only take a matter of time before both parties will start seeing their match differences, as much as so many people goes for looks and being educated as a personal trait in choosing whom they want in a relationship, without that spark/chemistry, you will only become a prisoner and sooner or later will be seeking for means to get out of such relationship without hurting the second party because you have already become too close to let go.

Ok oh! Husband dey knock on your door and you no wan open!

So your reason for wanting to give him a chance is because he's a great Christian?
Seriously, that is an ill-fated reason to begin a relationship. Don't get into a relationship out of compassion or a desire to fulfil a principle please.

Ladies and their qualities...


Which one is "highly educated" again?

Is he a Profesor?

Illuminatus: Pointer, don't ever get into a relationship because He's a Christian, or you feel pity for him. If you do that? Quit your current job cos it'd take loads of your time keeping that relationship working.
You need to say no, firmly. Don't be patronizing. Don't tell too many stories. Don't sugar coat it in hopes of not hurting his feeling (he's going to be hurt that you said no, already). Just be firm and straight. "I don't want to...because I'm not attracted to you in that way."

PrettySpicey: So your reason for wanting to give him a chance is because he's a great Christian?
Seriously, that is an ill-fated reason to begin a relationship. Don't get into a relationship out of compassion or a desire to fulfil a principle please.

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you are more likely to break his heart, especially if you find someone you are attracted to soon. A relationship built on pity with no affection will make you unhappy

@OP, Some people fall in love and some people grow to love whichever one you belong, i would say the latter last longer. From your post, I deduced that he's not good looking but a Christian. Young woman, i know we can be choosy when we've got choices and even at our 'shakara' stage, but be aware that what makes a relationship last is on the inside and NOT on the outside. That young man will score high in another woman's list, so, don't pity him by "giving him a chance." Open your heart to love him, he could be the best you ever had.

eddiebruk: There is what we call Physical attraction to someone otherwise known as Chemistry, if this is not in any relationship, i tell you, it will only take a matter of time before both parties will start seeing their match differences, as much as so many people goes for looks and being educated as a personal trait in choosing whom they want in a relationship, without that spark/chemistry, you will only become a prisoner and sooner or later will be seeking for means to get out of such relationship without hurting the second party because you have already become too close to let go.

U be pastor?

Illuminatus: Pointer, don't ever get into a relationship because He's a Christian, or you feel pity for him. If you do that? Quit your current job cos it'd take loads of your time keeping that relationship working.
You need to say no, firmly. Don't be patronizing. Don't tell too many stories. Don't sugar coat it in hopes of not hurting his feeling (he's going to be hurt that you said no, already). Just be firm and straight. "I don't want to...because I'm not attracted to you in that way."

Thread closed

If you're going to give him a chance then you need to open your heart to him and you'll eventually grow to love him. Don't go into a relationship out of pity, or simply because he's a christian..you'll have to find other qualities he posesses too.
Physical attraction may fail over time, Flamimg passion may soon burn out, but a relationship based first on respect and love which grows over time lasts a long while.
I like the sound of this man and you two are already good friends, so if you think you can build something concrete with him then by all means do so.
If you can't then please hurt his feelings today and save him misery tomorrow.

For me.
Wait for the chemistry to grow. Never date out of pity,cos no matter d level of his love,u will feel irritated rather than loved.

This OP sounds very much like an unserious and unintelligent person. She must have being a truant in her early days.

From what she wrote, I can infer that she likes many things about him except his face/physique - she does not see him as 'handsome enough'. She wants someone she can 'present' in public. That is not entirely bad. However, there are holes in her priorities.

If any of you has seen the movie 'why did I get married', there is a part where the architect said something about the 80/20 rule. His analysis was targeted at married couples in decision making, but I feel it can also be applied to singles who wish to choose a partner. It is somewhat impossible to find someone who possesses 100% of your desires, you are likely to get 80% and not more. In this case, the OP has mentioned many admirable qualities she likes, but is still greedy for just one or two more in particular. She might reject this fellow and meet someone who has those - the 20% and nothing else. Whose loss? What normal human being would prefer 20 to 80?

May God Almighty keep me far away from such bloody bimbo!

Op, you are picky. Unfortunately, you picked wrong reason to give him a chance.

Don't wait until It's too late

Acidosis: Ladies and their qualities...


Which one is "highly educated" again?

Is he a Profesor?

no, he is a physician.

uj_sizzle: If you're going to give him a chance then you need to open your heart to him and you'll eventually grow to love him. Don't go into a relationship out of pity, or simply because he's a christian..you'll have to find other qualities he posesses too.
Physical attraction may fail over time, Flamimg passion may soon burn out, but a relationship based first on respect and love which grows over time lasts a long while.
I like the sound of this man and you two are already good friends, so if you think you can build something concrete with him then by all means do so.
If you can't then please hurt his feelings today and save him misery tomorrow.

Thanks for your advise, he possess great qualities besides being a Christian that are important to me.

@OP! Read d ffg 2trulif
dis guy i knw(christain&workng)walkd up to ds lady and wantd a relatnshp.she said we can only be frnds!
1day D guy&gurl trd bsd on familiarity.d day gurl met her type.relatnshp cqashd lik boi bldg.
Even though her new eventualy smashd her heart to pieces damage had bn dne!

What i'm sayng is this.luv is an eqn pray carefuly ,apply wisdom
u ar nt attractd 2 sm1 is nt a crime bt u dnt gt attractd to sm1 wu leav u empty witout a futur(in the cover of feelngs)

again on the mata of luv.thread wit cautin

gud lk

Joliecoco: There is guy that likes me ,but I am not into him. I don't want to hurt his feelings ,and sometimes I feel like I am being picky. He is highly educated ,successful and he have a respectable career ,but I see him only as a friend. I want to gave him a chance because ,[font=Lucida Sans Unicode][/font]he is a great Christian guy which is so much more important than looks. What should I do guys , pls offer some advice.

You want to "gave" him a chance?
Go ahead and "gave" him nao!!.
Confused eediota.
You bringing out his sterling qualities and you complaining bout his looks or what does the subtle bold part mean?