My fellow nairalanders, I really need your advice. I have been dating this guy for 3yrs and I must say that I really really like him. I won't use the word love cos I don't think I can die for him. Bt recently, I have been having suitors(plenty of them), but you know how it is naa...when your heart is with someone else, you find it difficult to give another a chance. This has brought a very big problem between my parents and I. I discussed this with him(my boyfriend) and he didn't give me a straight answer. He said " all I have to tell u is that I have good plans for you". I just don't know what to do, plssss!!! I will really appreciate some advice.

I don't blame the guy for saying that sha....it shows he's smart...maybe he's not ready yet but my advice is that you should give others a chance not all of them though. Always have an open mind. All relationship must not end in marriage even when you want it to so trade carefully. Just keep the conversation going with one of them, get to know him (I didnt say have s*x with him o) you never can tell above all, talk to your God about it too and He will help you.


All the best dear

Love is blind, but it isn't deaf and dumb either. Go over to his place and have a talk with him. Ask him point blank if he wants to marry you. Then discuss with him. It depends on his financial status now, but you guys should start something already if you want to get married. I don't know how you are, but 3 years is a long time and you're both adults. Meet his parents, have him meet yours. And then agree on a time plan. I'm not skeptic but I think you would be bitter if you turn down a lot of guys for this dude and he disappoints you in the end.
Good luck.

ammyluv2002: .

Are you asking her to keep other guys as backup? Someone she would fall back on in case her current boyfriend does not marry her?

ammyluv2002: I don't blame the guy for saying that sha....it shows he's smart...maybe he's not ready yet but my advice is that you should give others a chance not all of them though. Always have an open mind. All relationship must not end in marriage even when you want it to so trade carefully. Just keep the conversation going with one of them, get to know him (I didnt say have s*x with him o) you never can tell above all, talk to your God about it too and He will help you.


All the best dear

Tanx swt.

Illuminatus: Love is blind, but it isn't deaf and dumb either. Go over to his place and have a talk with him. Ask him point blank if he wants to marry you. Then discuss with him. It depends on his financial status now, but you guys should start something already if you want to get married. I don't know how you are, but 3 years is a long time and you're both adults. Meet his parents, have him meet yours. And then agree on a time plan. I'm not skeptic but I think you would be bitter if you turn down a lot of guys for this dude and he disappoints you in the end.
Good luck.

that's my greatest fear though(disappointment).

Vivly: Are you asking her to keep other guys as backup? Someone she would fall back on in case her current boyfriend does not marry her?

Ammy, if you were in my shoes, what would you do?

Vivly: Are you asking her to keep other guys as backup? Someone she would fall back on in case her current boyfriend does not marry her?

Not really dear...the boyfriend isn't ready so she won't continue to wait for him till thy Kingdom come don't be surprise after all the wait, he guy might come up with one mumu reason

I jst hope dat after turning those suitors down, ur guy doesnt disapoint u. I hate it. Bt u nid help 4rm couples who strugled 4dia love lyk u are doin.

cheris skenzy: My fellow nairalanders, I really need your advice. I have been dating this guy for 3yrs and I must say that I really really like him. I won't use the word love cos I don't think I can die for him. Bt recently, I have been having suitors(plenty of them), but you know how it is naa...when your heart is with someone else, you find it difficult to give another a chance. This has brought a very big problem between my parents and I. I discussed this with him(my boyfriend) and he didn't give me a straight answer. He said " all I have to tell u is that I have good plans for you". I just don't know what to do, plssss!!! I will really appreciate some advice.

Why are you leading these so called suitors on because I don’t understand how you will be getting suitors if you are in a committed relationship.

Ask your man the damn question on what plans he has for you as per marriage and when if marriage is important to you.

If his answers aren’t favourable then do the honourable thing by breaking up with him. No one is going to crucify you for knowing what you want and gunning for it.

I just don’t know why people don’t have these talks in relationships.

BTW: Have you finished uni and working? (I’m only asking so I can understand why your parents are mounting pressure on you to get married)

Your not sure you love him All I know is liking him is not enough. Plus if a guy really has plans for you. You know coz he won't stop talking about it.he would really let you know how serious he intends to take things. Your bf sounds like someone whoz not tinking about that yet.sounds lik he has got a lot of things he needs to do. And your sounding like you wat to get married soon. You should do the maths. But if your inlove with him,which you should be coz I mean 3years no be beans and you know he loves you too.then stick to your man through thick and thin.

I think the best thing is to find out your boyfriends plan in a nonsuspicious way. That will now be the pointer to the next step.

Perhaps the guy isn't ready, and you are in an haste, the best thing is to move on since guys and gurls can't all continue to look unto the same clock for time guildiance.

jay bee:

Why are you leading these so called suitors on because I don’t understand how you will be getting suitors if you are in a committed relationship.

Ask your man the damn question on what plans he has for you as per marriage and when if marriage is important to you.

If his answers aren’t favourable then do the honourable thing by breaking up with him. No one is going to crucify you for knowing what you want and gunning for it.

I just don’t know why people don’t have these talks in relationships.

BTW: Have you finished uni and working? (I’m only asking so I can understand why your parents are mounting pressure on you to get married)

I asked and he said" I have good plans for you". And for the records,am not leading anybody on. For your Q, yeap am working.

A guy that does not see a future with you within 6months, will see no difference in 3 or 7yrs. If he had any intention of marrying you, he'd have told you so in plain words...whether he's ready financially or not. His response to your question is vague and discouraging, considering how long you've been together. It appears he is also not in love with you. You guys are just managing the whole thing.

Do not meet with his parents or yours to help you make this decision. I feel it's a bad move. If you're not able to tackle this on your own, then you're not ready for marriage.

By the way, be wary of suitors that have no personal knowledge of your person. Suitors that hinge their decision on your physical appearance and what they hear about you. This isn't the era of Mary Magdalene, the world has changed. Here, I'm assuming you've had nothing personal with these men.

cheris skenzy: I asked and he said" I have good plans for you". And for the records,am not leading anybody on. For your Q, yeap am working.

Ask him to state his specific plans

Tell him you expect to be married at bla bla bla time and he ought to let you know if he doesn't think he had be ready by then.

How come they are suitors if they are not being led on?
I'm sure suitors aren't the same as awon bois [b]admiring [/b]you on the road/church et al

its dilemma honey...............


just download the song by nelly featuring Kerry hilson.....watch the video.....everything you need to do is there

ammyluv2002: I don't blame the guy for saying that sha....it shows he's smart...maybe he's not ready yet but my advice is that you should give others a chance not all of them though. Always have an open mind. All relationship must not end in marriage even when you want it to so trade carefully. Just keep the conversation going with one of them, get to know him (I didnt say have s*x with him o) you never can tell above all, talk to your God about it too and He will help you.


All the best dear

How can u give her that advice. U know what u've just asked her 2 do, dont u? Look, if a girl is dating, she should face the man she is dating. If she wants 2 marry, she ha no right 2 be dating one man and looking at suitors outside, its disrespectful. She either ends it with her man so she is open 2 choose 4rm the rest or she clearly gets an answer from the man dating her and close her eyes 2 tge rest. Nigerian women, u people will not kill us,.....God 4bid.

drnoel:
How can u give her that advice. U know what u've just asked her 2 do, dont u? Look, if a girl is dating, she should face the man she is dating. If she wants 2 marry, she ha no right 2 be dating one man and looking at suitors outside, its disrespectful. She either ends it with her man so she is open 2 choose 4rm the rest or she clearly gets an answer from the man dating her and close her eyes 2 tge rest. Nigerian women, u people will not kill us,.....God 4bid.

you don't know how to read or what? Ok, let me break it down for you in a simple way....I said she should keep one of them as a friend, there's a great difference between a lover and a friend that's why I said "keep the conversation going" pls don't misquote ma/sir

u are nt interested in long term relatnship as lng as u ar d 1 initiatng d brkup
besides u empiasizd dat u brk u lvr heart

OP u are welcome to every woman most annoying exam(algebra of polysuitor arithmetic)
+it is a pass/fail course.
Now!
+u mst prepare urself
+u mst invit God first
+u mst ask older women hw dey pasd d course
+ar u ready to tak decisn that wl shpe u futur
+ask questns-al dis men buzng abt d whol plac av dey 4 real

+what is d worth of d persn dt u want to shw ur parents as dependable
gud luck!

Ur boyfriend's response is not clear o or specific. Of course u don't expect him to say he has bad plans for you.
You are the one in the relationship and in better position to know whether your boyfriend is rightly dispose for marriage.
If he is working or doing business and u can see that your relationship is due for marriage but he is not working towards that or even taking steps towards it, only to tell u he has good plans for you.
Well, I wonder what a plan without carrying you along would be. Don't get me wrong, I know some guys need their time and space to plan, but you still need to know whether you are in the picture or not.

ammyluv2002: you don't know how to read or what? Ok, let me break it down for you in a simple way....I said she should keep one of them as a friend, there's a great difference between a lover and a friend that's why I said "keep the conversation going" pls don't misquote ma/sir

U people will not kill us,...God 4bid.