What do you do when your spouse is more concerned about his family than about you? Especially when he tells it to your face that after God it is his extended family before you.

you guys must have married for the wrong reason.....obviously!
although the love for family cannot be compared with the love for a spouse (thats two different type of love). if you marry for the right reasons, then chances are, your family love would have equal importance in the mind of your spouse (if not more).....but then again, nobody should expect to be higher than ones parent as some people love their parents dearly.

i am still trying to understand how such discussion came about BUT, if your husband is telling you this, you better check yourself!

Then you're nt in marriage.

@op then u re not even on his option list.that is cruel.words hurt a great deal.my husband cant talk so.because i ll stop rubbin his isi nkwocha.

@mrbrownjay...actually a friend's complaint...like u said they married for d wrong reasons cos she got pregnant and the guy insisted they must get married as he doesnt want kids out of wedlock.unforunately she has 4 girls now.the hubby wants a MALE child!!!how can this marriage be worked on?

@Annie2good...lol. You are very funny!but correct.thats what i feel but how do you tell that to a friend who is hurting from such harsh words said to her?

Ohemm i dont get you.rephrase ur question

What you pit is what you get.gone are the days where women are blamed for the sex of dia kids.

ohemm: @mrbrownjay...actually a friend's complaint...like u said they married for d wrong reasons cos she got pregnant and the guy insisted they must get married as he doesnt want kids out of wedlock.unforunately she has 4 girls now.the hubby wants a MALE child!!!how can this marriage be worked on?

at least we now know where his beef is....the guy needs an heir and married her for the wrong reasons. how could that union ever produce LOVE when it was built on none?! there was never any love, obviously no respect, so there is very little chance for this union being better than it is right now......... even if she gives him a male child.

this lady has to accept the simple fact that he will LOVE his family unconditionally and she is just a mean to an end.

Mazi tochukwu brown....are you tellin us that,the dortas wont make a good heir?

^^^ sista, i am only telling you the reality on how "many Africans" think......a male child is their sole aim when entering a union, and nothing else will matter. actually some would not even feel they have achieve anything until they have a son. it is the sad truth........ as we can clearly see from the OP's story.

Hmmm.. Odikwa serious oh.
Sister that heart oh.. Kpele..
If you try changing him now.. His family will call you a witch and if you don't, u will be losing him just like that oh...

Spouse first!

Heyaa, just try to console her, and tell her to work on getting a thicker hide, some men thrive on verbal abuse, d more she reacts, d more he attacks, she had better pull up her trousers and train her daughters to be outstanding citizens, dere is nothing for her in that family. She should just take it as playground sport, d bully only wins when u cry

@ op, i have the same idea, i love my mum more than anything except God. Why? She has done what no one else can do for me and we v been through alot of things together likewise my three brothers, i love them all more than anything cos we v been throgh thick and tourns together. Few years of dating and few years of marriage can't make me to compromise my love for them. I ain't gona give her my love, she has to earn it by doing her own part in my life just like my mum, brothers and dad. Most men are like this, they just would not say it to their wife, cos that is going to be begining of his problems. It's only a foolish man that will just claim to love a woman more than anybody in his past life, such woman too should be carefull cos he is going to love another girlfriend more that her very soon.