drnairalov: yeah..i do send mine 2 school..but not anymore as d stupid guy ran away from home...after i have bought new school bag, books nd other school materials 4 him 2 resume JSS1...d idiat ddnt appreciate it apparently..i scolded him 4 something he did wrong, and dat waz it he took off!! leavn d house,!!! bunch of unappreciative elements...some of dese houe helps re so rude..dey want to be telling u what to do, exchanging words with U..like dey re gods of d house

He is not a slave but a human being like you. Why don't you employ a grown up. You child trafficker

This issue of housemaids and how they should be fairly treated is one I have tried my best to address so many times.
Naturally, I'm a person who hates seeing less priviledged people getting intimidated and oppressed...
It has caused so many problems between myself and some friends and family members who treat their helps with sub-human contempt.

I'm afraid to say however that the issue of sending househelps to a 'good' school is almost a lost cause because;

1. Lazy madams are only interested in having their homes in top-top shape when they come back from work...the excuse here is school will distract the help.

2. Selfish and self-centered madams will find it difficult deeping into their pockets to support their own kin, not to talk of a house-help.

3. Good madams who send their helps to school will still maltreat the help most of the time for not doing a chore right or early enough.

So we see that for a house-help in an average Nigerian home, its a loose-loose situation.

My opinion is usually this,
Any woman ready to embark on the journey of marriage MUST also be ready to embark on the journey of being her own home-keeper...
Any woman who wishes to start the process of childbirth and/or upbringing MUST also be ready to be in charge 'personally' of her child...
Any woman who still feels the need to have some help at home MUST also be ready to provide, cater and provide most of the help's needs...

kulyie: I remember some time ago i went to greet my aunt and so we were jisting and the next thing she said was that i was about goig to my friends house in an hours time before you came,give some minutes,let me go and dress up so we will go together but meanwhile eat.i said ok,so i went to the pot to serve myself.so anyway,i was done with the food,left it in the kitchen and then we both left the house.when we got to her friends house,we exchanged pleaseantries and my aunty asked her friend that she has been looking at this house since,its only you and your husbands bedroom, kids bedroom and play room you guys have,where does your house help sleep.the friend said in the kitchen on the floor.my auntys eyes turned towards me and i looked at her too in shock.i said concrete floor? She said ehen.i said ok,where is she now? The woman said she has gone to pick her kids from school,i said what about her,isnt she in school? She looked at me strange and said why should she be in school,na me born am,abi na me go pay for her school fees when i get 2 pikin wey me and my husband still dey struggle to pay their school fees.my aunty interjected and said ok so how do you compensate her for all the chores shes doing,she said i have paid off the agent who brought her so it is as good as i bought her.she doesnt have any right to anything in this house except food and i must make sure she has washed my childrens school uniform,socks,dishes,everybody has eating before she eats.i had to cut in and said aunty thats not fair na.even though no one knows what youre doing to her and she is vulnerable,God is seeing you o,dont let him visit his judgement upon you through your kids.she said abegiiiiii,spare me.if i send her to school now,she will start getting conscious of herself and her looks and she will start competing with me.i said haba aunty,an 11 year old girl.she said,you you dont even know anything,wait till you get in my shoes.anyway to cut the long story short,when we left her place and my aunty was driving in the car,i said aunty mi, she said aburo,i said can i advise you,she said,i am listening.i noded and said this woman you call your friend,i dont like your relationship with her.this is not the kind of woman you should be hanging around with.God forbid eveil,if your enemy dies and for one reason or the other your child stays with her,just no that your childs life will be messed up.imagine how she is treating her house help as if she is not even a human being.such a little girl like that,an illiterate, worstill sleeping in the kitchen and eating the remenants of everyones plate packed together.that is what we do for our dog.that girl is too small for that na.my aunty said,well,thats true,i will talk to her but i had the intention of talking to her however not in your presence because she might feel embarassed that she is talking to her in the presence of her friends younger one,i said better.


Infact ehen.smh

abeg continue the story now....

Yes, i do have a sister (cos i hate referring to her as a maid) that lives with me and i send her to school. She was brought to me in 2011, feb to be precise and she had stopped schooling for more than a year bf then cos of fee, she passes her pry schl leaving exam and u will know from the way she behaves that she wants to be educated. i paid my way( cos it's already 2nd term) to enrolled her in a govt schl close to the house, i tried my best to be nice to her cos she is most of the time alone with my 2kids, do u know what i got in return, a fed govt employment in the month of june, without applying, no test, no interview, just a call to come pick up my employment letter, after more than 10yrs of graduation. the following year we moved to our own house, we are now landlord. She maybe the reason for all the goods things am enjoying and maybe she is not, but 1 thing i know is that ever since she came into my house, everything has change for the better, I want to encourage us all to be nice, not only to people who God has place in our care but to everybody, you may not know when you will entertain the angel that will bring your good tidings.

At times I wonder what our so called legislatures do in NA.
The so called mothers among them can't bring up bill banning this housegal/boy thing for life in naija, instead of chasing shadows.
Pls, do any other countries except african do this househelp thing?
If no, what an irony!

And u parents especially mothers won't die of exhaustion if u don't hv househelps!
Yeyecious country!
I forgot the big madams and ogas r the most guilty.

devour129: she decided she ddnt want to start from js1 that she wanted to go to university can u imagine someone that doesn't know her alphabet

Hahahaha

There's a child living in a compound opposite mine. Anytime I see him, I just want to gather him up in my arm and weep and comfort him. He is so small........ I always see him outside washing loads of plate in front of their veranda in a squatting/sitting position. I have also seen him picking up the kids from a school nearby. He looks like a 4year old to me. My only comfort is to hope that maybe, just maybe he is older than he looks.

It is illegal to have a school-age child as a maid, therefore the op's question of sending your maid to school is somewhat baseless. Your maid must be a consenting adult, eliminating the need for agents of any sort. If she wants to go to school, she can take money from whatever you have both agreed upon as her salary.
Don't think you can clean your conscience and make your self feel good (or even altruistic) by sending an 11-year old maid to school. The real question is why would you even have an 11-year old maid?
If you want to send a child to school, do so, but dont take a child as your maid. Not only does it feel bad, it is also illegal and you can get arrested for it.

drnairalov: yeah..i do send mine 2 school..but not anymore as d stupid guy ran away from home...after i have bought new school bag, books nd other school materials 4 him 2 resume JSS1...d idiat ddnt appreciate it apparently..i scolded him 4 something he did wrong, and dat waz it he took off!! leavn d house,!!! bunch of unappreciative elements...some of dese houe helps re so rude..dey want to be telling u what to do, exchanging words with U..like dey re gods of d house

Lazy child trafficker, how would you feel if you were still in some white dudes sugar plantation huh?

MAY SAMUEL: Yes, i do have a sister (cos i hate referring to her as a maid) that lives with me and i send her to school. She was brought to me in 2011, feb to be precise and she had stopped schooling for more than a year bf then cos of fee, she passes her pry schl leaving exam and u will know from the way she behaves that she wants to be educated. i paid my way( cos it's already 2nd term) to enrolled her in a govt schl close to the house, i tried my best to be nice to her cos she is most of the time alone with my 2kids, do u know what i got in return, a fed govt employment in the month of june, without applying, no test, no interview, just a call to come pick up my employment letter, after more than 10yrs of graduation. the following year we moved to our own house, we are now landlord. She maybe the reason for all the goods things am enjoying and maybe she is not, but 1 thing i know is that ever since she came into my house, everything has change for the better, I want to encourage us all to be nice, not only to people who God has place in our care but to everybody, you may not know when you will entertain the angel that will bring your good tidings.

Yes, here, everybody is a saint and we know how to readily involve the name of God but let me ask u, if u r in a devped country, will u hv a househelp?

To all of us claiming saint online, I ask, will u live with househelp in developed country? How many times did u punish ur househelp as compared to ur children?
Who eats last in ur house?
Who sleeps last?
We think sending them to school is d best we can do for them?
We r naturally lazy as a country and individual!
Always looking for ways out of every tight corner we find ourselves instead of attacking it.
As long as we hv this mentality, we r def not going to move forward as individual or as a nation.
When other countries r busy making robot helps we r still into child slavery and in our mind we think we did great by sending them to school afterall their parents couldn't do so.

naijafresh: @naijababe

That was a harsh statement to make.
One man can't change the system but he can make a difference, he was trying to make a difference here.
I guess he will be better off employing someone formally next time i.e. an adult.

Remember one reason why families go for underaged maids is women don't want an adult female in their household for obvious reasons.

What is harsh is making a child work.......the fact that anyone would even consider employing a child, I mean child that should be in school, playing with sand, watching Ben 10 et al work is the height of wickedness. I don't care how kind you think you are, you are making a child work and patting yourself on the back because u send them to school. Would pray for such kindness to be extended to your own wards?

If madam does not want an adult in the house, she should make alternative arrangement or better yet remain celibate since she can't cope with the responsibilities that come with being a wife and mother. Abeg jo!!!!

Please like this post if you are against child trafficking, child abuse and under age labour no matter what form it takes.
we can help create the awareness and stop this form of modernized slavery.

AjanleKoko:

However well you may be treating them, you are breaking the law by employing underage children.
The responsible and civic thing to do would be to adopt them as your wards, not keep them as employees.

We all want a greater Nigeria, but in our private lives, we ridicule its laws consistently

have never employed under aged person,that I want to send them to school doesn't mean they are kids.i want to send them to school cos I feel they didn't have the opportunity n I have got the means

Why is it mostly women that maltrteat these househelps? Women are wicked walahi!

Lobeez: Please like this post if you are against child trafficking, child abuse and under age labour no matter what form it takes.
we can help create the awareness and stop this form of modernized slavery.

So one has to like ur message else u wouldn't hv posted it?
If u r looking for like, me think u know where to get em plenty!

crackhaus: This issue of housemaids and how they should be fairly treated is one I have tried my best to address so many times.
Naturally, I'm a person who hates seeing less priviledged people getting intimidated and oppressed...
It has caused so many problems between myself and some friends and family members who treat their helps with sub-human contempt.

I'm afraid to say however that the issue of sending househelps to a 'good' school is almost a lost cause because;

1. Lazy madams are only interested in having their homes in top-top shape when they come back from work...the excuse here is school will distract the help.

2. Selfish and self-centered madams will find it difficult deeping into their pockets to support their own kin, not to talk of a house-help.

3. Good madams who send their helps to school will still maltreat the help most of the time for not doing a chore right or early enough.

So we see that for a house-help in an average Nigerian home, its a loose-loose situation.

My opinion is usually this,
Any woman ready to embark on the journey of marriage MUST also be ready to embark on the journey of being her own home-keeper...
Any woman who wishes to start the process of childbirth and/or upbringing MUST also be ready to be in charge 'personally' of her child...
Any woman who still feels the need to have some help at home MUST also be ready to provide, cater and provide most of the help's needs...

GBAM! KPONKWEM!

naijababe:

What is harsh is making a child work.......the fact that anyone would even consider employing a child, I mean child that should be in school, playing with sand, watching Ben 10 et al work is the height of wickedness. I don't care how kind you think you are, you are making a child work and patting yourself on the back because u send them to school. Would pray for such kindness to be extended to your own wards?

If madam does not want an adult in the house, she should make alternative arrangement or better yet remain celibate since she can't cope with the responsibilities that come with being a wife and mother. Abeg jo!!!!

You are either a jobless single lady or a housewife.
Women who work have good reasons for seeking help for their homes since most men see it as a taboo to do chores in their own home.

sleekch1c:

You are either a jobless single lady or a housewife.
Women who work have good reasons for seeking help for their homes since most men see it as a taboo to do chores in their own home.

Herein lies a perfect example of why the person responsible for the statement ''Ignorance is bliss'' should be shot.

I am a jobless housewife and in my books that trumps being a wicked career chasing madam.

Yes my Parents did put our maid through primary and secondary school even though she was old enough to be a Professor. Well the Goodnews is-SHE FAILED BOTH WAEC and NECO, so she is going to sit up now and concentrate on BOOKS not BOYS, MATHS not MEN. I remember when she first came and my younger sis and I asked her to make a sentence with BASKET,proudly and confidently she said"MY MOTHER is a BASKET". Bt now she Welcomes esteemed Guest @ home-EDUCATION GOOD OH.

sleekch1c:

You are either a jobless single lady or a housewife.
Women who work have good reasons for seeking help for their homes since most men see it as a taboo to do chores in their own home.

If you need help employ an adult! Tha adult doesn't have to live in your home if that makes you uncomfortable, have someone come in the morning and close in the evening. Either way there is never a reason to use children as maids and stop suggesting that another woman is unable to manage without help because you can't. There are women who are able to manage without maids, maybe if you don't have maids the lazy husbands and older kids will learn to pitch in and help.

Your experience is very similar to mine.I had a hhelp who i sent to school and took care of her several pple thought we were related.She started misbehaving and i cautioned her.She decided to leave.She left a week to promotional exams after i had spent so much.I felt used and exploited.But ill do it over again rather than deny a child a future

labiola: This is a very interesting topic, let me share my experince with you. Sometimes last year we decided to engage an housemaid after so many pressure from my wife. She joined us in August 2012 and we enrolled her to private school and she was admitted to JSS 3, we paid close to N80,000 for her uniform, school fees and other expenses, that was the agreement we had with her mummy. So we continue to leave together as family, there is no disrimination, whatever my children eat is what she will eat. She shared the same room with my sister in law, practically all she does is domestic chore.
Initially, everything was going on fine untill my wife started complianing about her disobedience and her bad behaiviour, atimes I will "shakara" her that I will be beat her, though eventually I did beat her once after so many warning.
After, the first term, her result was released and she came first, I was so impressed and I asked my wife to get her some cloths which she did. I took this lady as my blood sister. She resumed the second term so we paid another 35k for her school fees and juniour waec exams, atfter the payment, her mother called me to request for money which I turned down because our agreement was to send her daughter to school. The problem started when she went for holiday with her mummy, then my kids were not around so we decided to allow her to spend sometimes with her mum. The day she suppose to return, we didn't see her and her mother called to apologise that she was going through some deliverance which after she will come. There after she returned and resumed school, she did her junior waec while we are expecting her result, the mum called me that she was tired of lagos that she is planning to relocate to her village hence she will be going with her daughter, my mum called her mother to come and they had discussion, base on their discussion, my mum told me that her mother needs money hence, I should withdraw the girl from private school and register her to public school so that I can be given her mum 5k every month, which to me it doesn't make sense to withdraw her from private school to public. I agreed to leave her to continue in private school while I will give her mum N5k every month. While we are still expecting her result , her mum called that she has changed her mind to come and pick her daughter, then both myself and wife was not around, I was furious and I just told my mum to allow her to take her daughter, that was how they left my house, uptill now I have no information about her whereabout. This is my experience with househelp. Atimes I don't blame people that maltreat them. By and large I will advise whoever that needs to engage house help should try and give then something in return such that in the nearest future they will remember you for good. If you can't send them to school let them go and learn something.

Honestly, I was a house boy or rather I am house boy because my madam still pays my tuition fees now. she treated me fair enough. The humiliation I suffered didn't come from her but from her relations that frequent our apartment.I still maintain that the experience isn't what any minor should be subjected, but quite unfortunately for me my siblings are still into it.... I can't help it, am just an undergraduate.

No mother gives birth and prays for the child to become a househelp. If you are one of the really unfortunate millions of Nigerians with no usable eduction or job, you have a few options

- find a wealthy relative(s) you can make regular trips to to get cash
- look for some relative with few kids who will take in your child for a few years
- send your child be a househelp to some "distant relative" until he is old enough
- watch your child waste away in front of you

So unless you can solve the poverty gap and create a large middle class, this problem is here to stay. And I don't understand those who insist you should pay for your househelp's schooling. Its admirable, but remember this is a essentially a business deal. The househelp is receiving a certain amount of money, probably low end in addition to having a roof over his head and food for free. I think this is a horrible way to waste a person's potential, but as long as no one forced you to sign up for it, all is fair.

Maybe a law specifying EXACTLY what a househelp must get on being hired would help. But I really wouldn't hold my breath in a country where even folks with good education are being worked to the bone with measly pay

9ja chai....the no 1 in almost every bad humanitarian activities on earth
child marriage,raping and ritual killings of innocent children,dumping of new borns in the streets/waste dump site,child tracficking,housemaid......
I wonder why many married couples are lazy,that they find it hard to do their own shores and kip a happy home instead u see married women facing social network squarely,cant do washing,cant do anything to the extent of cooking except INDOMIE & so proud and full of themselves,9ja men too should adjust,and shouldnt take nonsense,if our spouse cant change for d better they should leave.
We av a wrong mentality is this country:
1) during d latter yrs in the 9ja culture we postrate and kneel down to great elder but now not anymore
2)majority talk back @ elders and this is why karma is figting back
becoz b4 during the latter era....we grow up to bury our old parents but now adayz reverse is the case...many parents burying their children with their own hands.....olagbara

Many nigerians lack home training....our folkz abroad work 14,16 and even 18 hours per day and yet still do their shore...that is to say no matter how busy u are u ve got no excuse to employ a house maid...while my dad was travelled...my mum single handedly raised four of us....i cared for my 3 junior lads..when my mum as a teacher worked far away and wasnt able to process her transfer...this @ d age of 12/13wld cook,sweep,birth my lads evefyday and trek to school for 45 minutes and must get to school b4 7am wking by 3:30-4am
in short i dont see the need for househelp no matter how busy u are and this is why majority of our women give birth via CS all becoz of laziness although FEW cases are xceptional....ohh ga

Nigeria is one shithole!

Quiet disgusting to see many people here "own" a slave - in the form of house help. And the "considerate" ones feel better to sleep at night because they pay for their slave's tuition!

DISGUSTING PEOPLE!!!

If you have a child under your roof whom you keep solely to run errands for you - and to afford you and your family some convenience, you are one Disgusting animal. Shame on you!

One pig even had the "heart" to say - "I sometimes 'shakara' her, but i once beat her" ...you mean you beat your slave? What a swine! You beat a child whose life you and your wife have completely taken over in return for which she is afforded the opportunity to go to college? Shame on you, you pig, Shame shame on you!!!

My parents trained the househelp in my house from Secondary school to University. Although she failed JAMB and WAEC like twice, we still paid for her and my mum will say I should teach her.

Good news now is that we are all grown up and she is in final year. When we are bought things, she is bought things as well. Perfumes, clothes, she enjoys them all. She operates the tv etc

Definitely that is how to treat one.

Some of the people making contributions here have never stayed in Nigeria or only know about Nigeria from what they read on nairaland and believed me if u think u know about the real Nigeria because you are a nairalander then I feel sorry for u, u are what we call tolotolo obodo oyibo .The issue of having house helps is a common culture here and NO you just don't adopt the kid no matter how much u love them its not that easy. I started getting calls from a lot of my relations asking me to take one of their kids with me Immediately after my marriage they strongly believe that the child will have a better chance in life, some of these folks have over 8 kids. One time I traveled and my wife feel ill and my aunty who came around to help out left her 11 years old daughter behind, she was like our first daughter until my wife had our child, today she is loves taking care of her little sister. The point is taking these kids into your home should be about giving them a chance because if their parent have what it takes they won't let them become househelps and YES every kid in the house MUST run errands including my own because I don't want to raise lazy aldults.

I was in primary 4 when my dad died and because my mum couldn't carry the responsibility of training 5 boys at a go, she decided to plead with the younger sister to take me along to lagos. The younger sister married a rich man that was given the sole right to supply electricity to moroko .They turned me to a house boy .one day my mum younger brother came visiting and he used the opportunity to ask me if I am being treated well. I opened my body and this guy got angry and in the night he confronted the sister.:He was not happy with the explanation given and he decided to leave the next day. This incident marked a turning point in my life. He informed my mum and within one month I was brought back to the village .when I got home I discovered that my younger ones are now in same class with me. That was how we kept on neck to neck till tertiary level. I believe in the saying that no condition is permanent. One day news came that moroko has been demolished and gradually the husband became a poor man and they had no option than to relocate to the village. To God be the glory things turned around for me and I managed to build a house in lagos. Opposite my house was a bar were guys drink. One day I went there to take one bottle and guess what! The first son of those that maltreated me .he was so happy to meet me and eventually he showed me a one room apartment were he leaves with a girl he pregnanted. When the wife was about to give birth ,I gave them some good money and he and he was able to let the mum know about my kind gesture. The upper week, I got a phone call from the husband asking me to forgive them and finally he prayed for me. To conclude, chose your house maid carefully treat them right and God will bless you

greggng: I was in primary 4 when my dad died and because my mum couldn't carry the responsibility of training 5 boys at a go, she decided to plead with the younger sister to take me along to lagos. The younger sister married a rich man that was given the sole right to supply electricity to moroko .They turned me to a house boy .one day my mum younger brother came visiting and he used the opportunity to ask me if I am being treated well. I opened my body and this guy got angry and in the night he confronted the sister.:He was not happy with the explanation given and he decided to leave the next day. This incident marked a turning point in my life. He informed my mum and within one month I was brought back to the village .when I got home I discovered that my younger ones are now in same class with me. That was how we kept on neck to neck till tertiary level. I believe in the saying that no condition is permanent. One day news came that moroko has been demolished and gradually the husband became a poor man and they had no option than to relocate to the village. To God be the glory things turned around for me and I managed to build a house in lagos. Opposite my house was a bar were guys drink. One day I went there to take one bottle and guess what! The first son of those that maltreated me .he was so happy to meet me and eventually he showed me a one room apartment were he leaves with a girl he pregnanted. When the wife was about to give birth ,I gave them some good money and he and he was able to let the mum know about my kind gesture. The upper week, I got a phone call from the husband asking me to forgive them and finally he prayed for me. To conclude, chose your house maid carefully treat them right and God will bless you

Your own family did this to you? You mother's own sister? Is this not the same Nigeria that people claim to be so family oriented. Sad part is that you referred to yourself as their domestic staff. You were family. I shudder to think what people who do not share blood with people they live with go through.

Orikinla: Many families in urban areas in Nigeria and other countries in the world have housemaids and houseboys and they are the popular domestic workers in many homes.
There are those who cannot do without them.

I am not really against families with housemaids and houseboys, but I am really concerned about how they treat them.
We have heard and read of many reports of horrible and terrible things done to housemaids and houseboys by their employers.
In many homes, they treat them without respect and so they maltreat them.
I have seen where dogs in the mansion are better treated than housemaids and houseboys in Nigeria.
I mean the dogs can sit on the rug with the family, but the housemaids and houseboys cannot do so.

The worst is to deprive your housemaid or houseboy of education.
It is evil and wicked not to send the housemaid or houseboy of school age to the nearest school.
Depriving your housemaid or houseboy of basic primary or secondary school education is dangerous to your own security and welfare.
Lest we forget, your innocent children are often left in the care of your housemaids and houseboys and imagine what kind of knowledge they would share with your children if they are not educated!
And when you maltreat them, you are going to end up misleading your own children with your bad example in parenting and guardianship.

Most importantly, they have your children to payback your meanness on especially if you have infants or toddlers.

There is nothing called house help, it's child abuse, which should be totally abolished and perpetrators should be dealt with severely!!!