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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Why Is Divorce Not An Option For Most Nigerian Women? (37503 Views)
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Re: Why Is Divorce Not An Option For Most Nigerian Women? by Nobody: 11:59am On Nov 06, 2013 |
Sister you can't believe what these women endure in the name of marriage The one that died last year was beaten to death by her husband and his mother. Ask me her crime How dare she take money from his pocket. Ask me how much 200 naira Ask me what she did with it Just to buy food for their 3month old son. And this man came back flew into rage because she didn't wait to get his permission.beat her up aided by his mother and when they saw she had slumped.they locked her in the room and fled.her body was discovered in the evening when her baby woke up and started to cry The a$$hole is walking free now. I'm sure that's what gave this one the liver to kill his own too. Chillisauce: Make dem dey dia dey die one by one. 1 Like |
Re: Why Is Divorce Not An Option For Most Nigerian Women? by chineloSA(f): 12:00pm On Nov 06, 2013 |
greatgod2012: I am a woman please. I have dealt with a lot of abused woman in my line of work. I can tell you that the most common problem is economic inequality, hence there is a great focus on woman empowerment on a National or international level ( well supposedly in Nigeria ). You agree with me or dont and you understand it or you dont!!!!! I have done alot of academic research which has proven that. Though I do not have time to refer you to all the Research papers, governmental reports, UN reports etc. All over the world economic power has been the common denominator. I am not saying other factors do not also contribute, they do, but financial power has been a common denominator. I would advice you to take your time and also interact with abused victims and ask them what stops them from leaving and also read information sources quoted above .Don't do one eye scanning research and conclude. You may read this if you want to. https://www.google.co.za/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=3&cad=rja&ved=0CEIQFjAC&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.gov.nl.ca%2FVPI%2Fpublications%2Feconomicindependence.pdf&ei=Yx56Ut3lN6SN7QaM7YHYDg&usg=AFQjCNFG1Qw73kQjTnQbE6FDmiTwyVxO0Q&sig2=BmEYs0pSZjpnAAqCZK7cxQ |
Re: Why Is Divorce Not An Option For Most Nigerian Women? by Nobody: 12:03pm On Nov 06, 2013 |
Royal Roy: A campaign for divorce should be brought to the fore. Must someone tell you to run when you see your life is in danger . Even chicken dey take off when they wan kill am, not to talk of human being, 1 Like |
Re: Why Is Divorce Not An Option For Most Nigerian Women? by chineloSA(f): 12:04pm On Nov 06, 2013 |
lorretta u: Sister you can't believe what these women endure in the name of marriage See Common denominator. Economic power If she had her own money, she would have bought whatever and she probably could still be alive, and perhaps found courage to leave the abusive jack..ss. |
Re: Why Is Divorce Not An Option For Most Nigerian Women? by Nobody: 12:08pm On Nov 06, 2013 |
lorretta u: Sister you can't believe what these women endure in the name of marriage My dear leave that environment or you help fight it. By reporting to police in case you start hearing and seeing such. Who knows, you might save a life. 3 Likes |
Re: Why Is Divorce Not An Option For Most Nigerian Women? by mysticgal(f): 12:12pm On Nov 06, 2013 |
lorretta u: Sister you can't believe what these women endure in the name of marriage your neighbourhood must really be haunted „if this persist after two more times, please consult your house agent as soon as possible. 8 Likes |
Re: Why Is Divorce Not An Option For Most Nigerian Women? by Amhappy(f): 12:27pm On Nov 06, 2013 |
SAD. I remember when i was a child(9 yrs) i stood between my uncle and his first wife during a fight. My uncle was holding a cutlass. After that fight my mum warned me seriously but her advice for that woman neva left me. A dead person doesn't talk nor can she stand in judgement. When i got married that same uncle of mine warned my husband never to lay his hands on me for any reason. RIP to the woman. |
Re: Why Is Divorce Not An Option For Most Nigerian Women? by NadiaSA1(f): 12:28pm On Nov 06, 2013 |
Sad sha!! |
Re: Why Is Divorce Not An Option For Most Nigerian Women? by pickabeau1: 12:42pm On Nov 06, 2013 |
Amhappy: SAD. I remember when i was a child(9 yrs) i stood between my uncle and his first wife during a fight. My uncle was holding a cutlass. After that fight my mum warned me seriously but her advice for that woman neva left me. A dead person doesn't talk nor can she stand in judgement. When i got married that same uncle of mine warned my husband never to lay his hands on me for any reason. RIP to the woman. hahaha,,,, our inherent hypocrisy .... he can beat another persons daughter but will not let them beat his own daughter 2 Likes |
Re: Why Is Divorce Not An Option For Most Nigerian Women? by Alfoasegh: 12:49pm On Nov 06, 2013 |
Sissie: This is really sad. I don't know why women stay with their abusive spouse, its terrible.But your husband slapped you last night, why are you still under his roof? RIP to the dead. 1 Like |
Re: Why Is Divorce Not An Option For Most Nigerian Women? by greatgod2012(f): 1:01pm On Nov 06, 2013 |
Alfoasegh: are you her husband? Abi how did you know this? |
Re: Why Is Divorce Not An Option For Most Nigerian Women? by troy20(m): 1:10pm On Nov 06, 2013 |
And why do i feel this is a made up story just to switch the focus and negative stories back to men maybe for once. 3 Likes |
Re: Why Is Divorce Not An Option For Most Nigerian Women? by Chomzy19(f): 1:18pm On Nov 06, 2013 |
I always Say as Soons as there is physical abuse in dt marriage be u Man or Woman Get up n Walk away, if u are a woman n ur kids are lil take ur kids with u, I wonder d kind of kids u re even rearing by staying in an abusive marrg, D boys re simply learning dt it's okay to beat up their wives n d girls are learning u hv to sit back n take d beatings. So hw are u staying in d mrrg for d kids exactly? Its nt like u re doing anything good for dia psyche When ur live is threatend Divorce oo, its nt a Sin its SELF-DEFENCE, Christ himself Encourages u to run for ur live. If u do not hv d money or energy or time to begin any divorce process simply Separate, find ur own apartment n pack out!! Or u End up lyk d OP's neigbour |
Re: Why Is Divorce Not An Option For Most Nigerian Women? by pickabeau1: 1:23pm On Nov 06, 2013 |
troy20: And why do i feel this is a made up story just to switch the focus and negative stories back to men maybe for once. hahaha.. conspiracy theorist |
Re: Why Is Divorce Not An Option For Most Nigerian Women? by troy20(m): 1:24pm On Nov 06, 2013 |
violence is intolerable but no man finds it anywhere easy or appealing to raise a hand on a woman even if they had an experience of abuse with their mothers.An abusive mother made that monster |
Re: Why Is Divorce Not An Option For Most Nigerian Women? by StateOfMind: 1:33pm On Nov 06, 2013 |
bukatyne: I also have an aunt, a nurse(PNO) in a federal teaching hospital who is still being abused by her husband, a self employed pharmacist. Wife earns more. My sister's colleague, an administrator with 4kids is being abused by her hubby. Another colleague, a mother of two is also facing abuse in her home. The hubby works in the same environment, and he's a senior clerical officer . Wife earns more. Independent or dependent, most victims of abuse suffer from terrible low self esteem and have the same mentality-leaving is not an option, what happens to the kids\how do I cope alone\how will the society see me.. Op, Your title get as e be though.. ..fact that she chose to die doesn't mean MOST nigerian women are silly. 1 Like |
Re: Why Is Divorce Not An Option For Most Nigerian Women? by mesther96(f): 1:36pm On Nov 06, 2013 |
Re: Why Is Divorce Not An Option For Most Nigerian Women? by obyrich(m): 1:50pm On Nov 06, 2013 |
Lesson for the living. People date for the wrong reasons and expect miracles in marriage. 4 Likes |
Re: Why Is Divorce Not An Option For Most Nigerian Women? by Nobody: 4:31pm On Nov 06, 2013 |
StateOfMind:I don't think there Is any group of women in the world who tolerate abuse more than Nigerian women nay African women. All for silly culture and marriage tradition. In my place divorce is still highly frowned upon.and divorcees are either seen as slutty women who couldn't stick to one man or badly behaved women who couldn't keep the home together hence the husband had to send them out for better wives. Correct me if I'm wrong. Nigerian women need to be taught self value and the total populace needs re-orientation. troy20: And why do i feel this is a made up story just to switch the focus and negative stories back to men maybe for once.everything isn't about battle of the sexes. Stop trivializing this important issue. mysticgal:honey the whole damn nation is haunted. We here these things everyday,read them everyday online,and you see the reaction of some men here on NL in regards to abuse,you'll know it's a national problem. chineloSA:that's what I say too. Chillisauce:will be outta here in no time. But does it mean men don't abuse their wives in other places? Like I said it's a national problem. Royal Roy: A campaign for divorce should be brought to the fore.that's what I said too. And some people be like only adultery is allowed for divorce.I'm sure when God (his apostle)was making that law he didn't realize mankind would turn out so bad as to start kiiling their lovers.I'm sure he'd have included it. 4 Likes |
Re: Why Is Divorce Not An Option For Most Nigerian Women? by soulglo: 5:37pm On Nov 06, 2013 |
lorretta u: I just feel bad cos the man will surely go unpunished now. And who will take care of her little kids now? The last one is 4months old. Why do you keep saying he will go on punished? Don't we have laws in Nigeria? |
Re: Why Is Divorce Not An Option For Most Nigerian Women? by soulglo: 5:42pm On Nov 06, 2013 |
StateOfMind: I think what just pisses me off is that some of these women wear this like some badge of honor. I don't think I can be a friend to a woman that allows this to be done to her. I can be a source of comfort to the kids but I just cannot respect women like this |
Re: Why Is Divorce Not An Option For Most Nigerian Women? by Nobody: 5:57pm On Nov 06, 2013 |
My dear that's the helplessness we face in this nation. Get him arrested and the police who are supposed to jail him are all wife batterers who'll collect money from him and let him go. Yea we have laws,but they aren't well implemented soul_glo: 1 Like |
Re: Why Is Divorce Not An Option For Most Nigerian Women? by baby124: 6:23pm On Nov 06, 2013 |
mysticgal: that's why i continue to advocate>>>>women should learn boxing and wrestling before traditonal and white weddings, a man using a woman for punching training when she can turn from wife to knife,anyhow @lorreta the man did not go unpunished,he went for temporary adjustment,soon and soon karma will cash up with him ROTFLMAO. Well said. These men know who they marry though. They are very good at this and are predators. So they go for girls that they know cant fight back. They are cowards. If they suddenly find their woman can fight gidigbo, they will stop or find a new victim to marry. This is why women need to be careful who they marry or are fighting another woman for. Some women are seeing shege in that fantastic marriage you are envying. 1 Like |
Re: Why Is Divorce Not An Option For Most Nigerian Women? by baby124: 6:25pm On Nov 06, 2013 |
Aggrippa: You are very right. Women have failed in Nigeria when it comes to their boy children. For real. From choosing retards to be their husbands or baby fathers. And then teaching their men it is okay to be aggressive towards women. It starts from beating their siblings and onward. They equal respect with beating someone whom they feel is lower than them or a subordinate. 3 Likes |
Re: Why Is Divorce Not An Option For Most Nigerian Women? by armyofone(m): 6:34pm On Nov 06, 2013 |
It is only in Africa that men like that go unpunished. Currently in the news is an American doctor who killed his very beautiful wife to marry Gypsy his mistress. Shortly after the wife died Gypsy was interviewed by the guy to become the children's nanny (so they can continue their rompy business). The children are testifying now that their dad killed their mom. I love American Justice. 1 Like |
Re: Why Is Divorce Not An Option For Most Nigerian Women? by lilmax(m): 6:56pm On Nov 06, 2013 |
I cant imagine myself hitting a woman....but loretta do these men just get up and start hitting them |
Re: Why Is Divorce Not An Option For Most Nigerian Women? by soulglo: 7:14pm On Nov 06, 2013 |
lorretta u: My dear that's the helplessness we face in this nation. They should go to the courts. It could be a long drawn out process especially in a place like Nigeria but people need to start exercising their rights in Nigeria. The laws are already there. There is nothing anyone can do if everyone folds their hands and does nothing about their situation. This is not a police issue. Regular citizens can do their part. You know the man's first and last name then put it up here. Circulate it on Facebook. Do you know where he works? Do you know what church he attends? Do you know what village he is from? Put it in a flyer with his name on it. Make flyers and staple it with his crime on every electric pole you see. Put his last known address. Put the name of the church he goes to. People will talk. Social media has helped solve crimes. Social media has forced people in government to act differently. Nothing is really a secret anymore. Please Nigerians should decide that they will be nobody's victim. You should not be made helpless. I hope there are people there who will get justice for her children. 3 Likes |
Re: Why Is Divorce Not An Option For Most Nigerian Women? by troy20(m): 7:15pm On Nov 06, 2013 |
yea physical abuse on women shouldnt be tolerated but so are any other form of domestic violence.Alota people underestimate a womans third degree ability for violence and abuse.alota young children live endengerd lives in homes that arnt thier parents as househelps.there have been reported cases where the've been battered to death by madams of these homes and its been on the rise for long now.its still a case of domestic violence.an abuse or even murder on a young 8 to 12 year olds is savagery of the worst kind.who stands for this ravaged kids from poor homes? None.i mean we have child labour and abuse laws but hw effective has it ever been.there are thousands of daily unreported abuse cases.go to alota homes and you cant imagine the evils these women are capable of on these child helpers or maids.many dont even experience the basics of any form of education unlike these madams children they look after.and thats hugely understating the gory experiences. 1 Like |
Re: Why Is Divorce Not An Option For Most Nigerian Women? by obyrich(m): 7:16pm On Nov 06, 2013 |
lil max: I cant imagine myself hitting a woman....but loretta do these men just get up and start hitting themWife bashing is unjustifiable under any pretext. If a man thinks his wife is too annoying for his liking and has exhausted all peaceful means of making her change her attitude, he should divorce and not kill her! One's wife is not his goat or dog. Only few people can get the mind to personally kill their pet. Don't marry her if you do not see her as your PARTNER in life's journey. 2 Likes |
Re: Why Is Divorce Not An Option For Most Nigerian Women? by Nobody: 7:17pm On Nov 06, 2013 |
11 Likes |
Re: Why Is Divorce Not An Option For Most Nigerian Women? by ladygogo: 7:19pm On Nov 06, 2013 |
i dont even know what to say. |
Re: Why Is Divorce Not An Option For Most Nigerian Women? by timeframe: 7:23pm On Nov 06, 2013 |
This reminds me of a guy I was dating. He was almost perfect (I said almost for a very good reason- almost doesnt and will never count) one day we had an argument and he said he was going to break my head with the bottle that was close to us. Red flag, did not take me time to break it off, and to think that this guy wanted to marry me.smh 3 Likes |
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