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Is Divorce The Answer? - Family - Nairaland

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Why Is Divorce Not An Option For Most Nigerian Women? / Save My Marriage Today - Is Divorce Your Way Out? / Divorce-the Dissolving Of The Covenant Of Marriage- Five Lies In One Action (2) (3) (4)

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Is Divorce The Answer? by deluxecad(m): 8:03am On Jan 14, 2010
When the center can no longer hold, when love and patience seem to have whittled completely out, when even the kids watch with utmost horror the yelling and hate going on in the house, when you've sought all manner of counseling and no change happens, when the differences appear irreconcilable, would divorce be your last option? Is there anything good at all about divorce?
Re: Is Divorce The Answer? by coolier(f): 7:53pm On Jan 14, 2010
Yes, in a situation like that. But one can try separation first. There's nothing good about divorce but there's also nothing good in a home filled with hatred.
Re: Is Divorce The Answer? by vescucci(m): 8:05pm On Jan 14, 2010
Some people do not think this is an option for religious reasons. Some for the same religious reasons revel in it. I think in extreme cases divorce is definitely wise but marriage is a serious thing and people should generally look to go back to how things were when they got married.
Re: Is Divorce The Answer? by mamagee3(f): 2:54am On Jan 15, 2010
Divorce is never the answer nor the key.
Re: Is Divorce The Answer? by Nobody: 9:28am On Jan 15, 2010
@poster
better be divorced and happy than married and miserable.

and also,its much better for the children if these people divorce rather than stay married, hate each others guts and make the life of these children miserable.

to each their own!
Re: Is Divorce The Answer? by ayomifull(f): 3:48pm On Jan 15, 2010
MRbrownJAY:

@poster
better be divorced and happy than married and miserable.

and also,its much better for the children if these people divorce rather than stay married, hate each others guts and make the life of these children miserable.

to each their own!

seconded in the kind of situation described above
Re: Is Divorce The Answer? by deluxecad(m): 6:39pm On Jan 15, 2010
Talking from experience, divorce would be the last option on my mind. It makes wrecks out of d kids if they allow d trauma to bear down on them. No situation is irredeemable. Imo.
Re: Is Divorce The Answer? by Sissy3(f): 12:50am On Jan 16, 2010
mama-gee:

Divorce is never the answer nor the key.

what is then?
Re: Is Divorce The Answer? by beingme(f): 2:36pm On Jan 16, 2010
life in misery. leave now u are still alive
Re: Is Divorce The Answer? by tallgal(f): 5:26pm On Jan 16, 2010
If you are sure you have tired absoulutely everything. I almost divorced my husband 5 years ago, only for us to get back together and start again. Now I'm gad I did not. It's up to you, but please think it through thoroughly as it is a very emotionally draining experience.
Re: Is Divorce The Answer? by Nobody: 7:23pm On Jan 16, 2010
My husband and I are having a rough time. I just learned about his family back home preparing a wife for him to come home too. I am still in shock, and the reason I know is a phone conversation he was having with the sister and brother living in Nigeria. We have been unhappy alot and I now feel responsible for most of our problems. I apologized and told him I still love him and as long as he wont marry anyone while being married with me I am ok. I married him for ever and this is so hard on me. In Canada we only have one wife at a time. We divorce if we are so unable to bring peace. However I am born again and been there before and want to work this out. I willl change my self and he will do his part. I pray we can change things around for the better. Does anyone have any information on the reasons mohters want a second wife for the son?
Re: Is Divorce The Answer? by manmustwac(m): 7:28pm On Jan 16, 2010
deluxecad:

When the center can no longer hold, when love and patience seem to have whittled completely out, when even the kids watch with utmost horror the yelling and hate going on in the house, when you've sought all manner of counseling and no change happens, when the differences appear irreconcilable, would divorce be your last option? Is there anything good at all about divorce?
well how did u manage to marry the person in the first place?
Re: Is Divorce The Answer? by Nobody: 1:17am On Jan 18, 2010
I married my husband because I loved him. I now though I didnt know him very well as we met online and married before knowing one another very well. However I just need to understand the different culture there to here. I know when we are happy, he wil not think of another marriage. I want to keep trying and give this another chance
Re: Is Divorce The Answer? by Fhemmmy: 1:18am On Jan 18, 2010
Yes, Divorce with thanksgiving at the church too.
Re: Is Divorce The Answer? by beingme(f): 10:41am On Jan 18, 2010
@LEAHSARAK, IN MOST MARRIAGES THE PROBLEMS THEY FACE MOST TIMES ARE ALWAYS COMING FROM DIFFERENT BACKGROUND, CULTURES AND RELIGION, WHICH DON'T SUPPOSE TO BE SO.WHY DO THEY WANT HIM TO MARRIAGE IN NIGERIA?

ONE MUST REALLY HAVE WHO HE/SHE GETTING COMMITTED TO BCSO ITS NOT AN AFFAIR U CAN COME IN TODAY AND LEAVE TOMORROW.

DIVORCE IS NOT THE ANSWER LOOKING AT THE NEGATIVE EFFECT IT HAS ON CHILDREN. PRAY ON THE ISSUE, COMMUNICATE WITH HIM ON WHAT U FEEL MIGHT BE ANSWER THEN SEEK REASONABLE ADVICE FROM UR LOVED ONES.
Re: Is Divorce The Answer? by Nobody: 1:12pm On Jan 18, 2010
The reason they want him to marry in Nigeria is very confusing to me. From what I heard from him he said that it is because his sister and brother brought it up, so he could come home to Nigeria because his mom is not happy. He says he played along with it to appease them, but had no intentions to follow it. We have one son together and he has a daughter back home, so it cant be because they want him to have another child I dont believe. What are the main reasons one has 2 wives there. The situation here in Canada is that it is illegal to have 2 wives. In order to divorce in canada you must wait one year before you are legally able too. They have this rule so people have a chance to reconcile during that year if they want too. I have been assured by him that they cant make him marry a lady. However they must not like me at all. Anyone here have any ideas as to why?
Re: Is Divorce The Answer? by mamagee3(f): 8:52pm On Jan 18, 2010
~Sissy~:

what is then?

Good communication and working things out amicably.
Re: Is Divorce The Answer? by Sissy3(f): 8:54pm On Jan 18, 2010
mama-gee:

Good communication and working things out amicably.

and when that doesnt work nko?
Re: Is Divorce The Answer? by mamagee3(f): 9:04pm On Jan 18, 2010
~Sissy~:

and when that doesnt work nko?

You put it in prayer and let God be in charge.
Re: Is Divorce The Answer? by Sissy3(f): 9:12pm On Jan 18, 2010
mama-gee:

You put it in prayer and let God be in charge.

and for those who doesnt pray or believe in God what happens afterward?
Re: Is Divorce The Answer? by mamagee3(f): 9:32pm On Jan 18, 2010
~Sissy~:

and for those who doesnt pray or believe in God what happens afterward?

They have themselves to blame then.
Re: Is Divorce The Answer? by Sissy3(f): 9:33pm On Jan 18, 2010
mama-gee:

They have themselves to blame then.

meaning their options are what then?
Re: Is Divorce The Answer? by coolfaced8(f): 10:16pm On Jan 18, 2010
.
Re: Is Divorce The Answer? by beingme(f): 11:41am On Jan 19, 2010
@leahsarahk. the issue is that ur husband wasmarried to this woman he's coming back for and still married to her in nigeria, so don't be decieved with those stories he's telling u.

i observed that when people travelled abroad for greener pasture they intend living lives full of lies, pretense and so on in order to cover up and make money.

ur husband is married and will come back for his wife when he gets what he wants. NOTE THAT
Re: Is Divorce The Answer? by otukpo(f): 11:46am On Jan 19, 2010
In some cases, yes.
Re: Is Divorce The Answer? by chuks0421(m): 11:56am On Jan 19, 2010
The truth about divorce is that God hates it, but He gave serious conditions for it, So lets just be careful before we say i do,
Re: Is Divorce The Answer? by sexybash(f): 12:01pm On Jan 19, 2010
No it definately not the answer to the problem,my parent got divorced when i was 6,got raped due to dat but what ever,am grown woman now i rather be a single mother from onset dan to get married and be divorced
embarassedrgards)
Re: Is Divorce The Answer? by otokx(m): 12:18pm On Jan 19, 2010
Divorce is never the answer.
Re: Is Divorce The Answer? by mdfishers: 12:22pm On Jan 19, 2010
THIS QUESTION CAN BETTER BE ANSWERED BY CHILDREN WHO HAS BEEN VICTIMS OF DIVORCE. BUT IF I MAY VENTURE AN ANSWER, I WOULD TASK US TO TAKE A CENSUS OF THE BACKGROUND OF TEENAGE PREGNANCIES, PROSTITUTES, DRUG ADDICTS/STREET URCHINS AND IT SHOCK YOU TO KNOW THE PERCENTAGE FROM BROKEN MARRIAGES. WITH THESE, IS IT STILL [color=#550000][/color]WORTH ASKING,
Re: Is Divorce The Answer? by henryhemon(m): 12:33pm On Jan 19, 2010
mdfishers:

THIS QUESTION CAN BETTER BE ANSWERED BY CHILDREN WHO HAS BEEN VICTIMS OF DIVORCE. BUT IF I MAY VENTURE AN ANSWER, I WOULD TASK US TO TAKE A CENSUS OF THE BACKGROUND OF TEENAGE PREGNANCIES, love-peddlers, DRUG ADDICTS/STREET URCHINS AND IT SHOCK YOU TO KNOW THE PERCENTAGE FROM BROKEN MARRIAGES. WITH THESE, IS IT STILL [color=#550000][/color]WORTH ASKING,
There is no better truth than what you said.Divorce is a menace to the society,believe me,its not the solution but its always better to date someone before you marry him/her.That way you can make better decision if you can stay with him/her.
Re: Is Divorce The Answer? by udennaa: 12:38pm On Jan 19, 2010
otokx:

Divorce is never the answer.
mama-gee:

You put it in prayer and let God be in charge.
~Sissy~:

and for those who doesnt pray or believe in God what happens afterward?
mama-gee:

They have themselves to blame then.
Re: Is Divorce The Answer? by proudly9ja(m): 12:40pm On Jan 19, 2010
I wouldn't suggest divorce to anyone. My question everytime someone tells me she has an issue with her husband is, what made you marry him in the first place? If it is love, then look for those things that made you love him.

I know its not as simple as it sounds but Im someone who truly believes in love. I totally believe that there is no irredeemable situation. Its the reason Im taking my time before getting married because I want to marry someone I truly love and who truly loves me.

I suggest to any couple going through tough times, try every means possible to resolve the issue. In most cases, patience helps a lot. Like the Bible says, Love is 'long suffering'. One or both may need to ''suffer for long'' for things to come back to normal.

That's my take.

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