Dating and marriage is different than it was twenty years ago. In todays society, more than 50% of all marriages fail for one reason or another. Just thinking about that makes "commitment" seem scary. It seems that when relationships are faced with challenges, people quit trying. Dating is more like a marathon, trying to date as many people as possible, instead of taking time to get to know someone at a deeper level. For married couples, divorce is not biased. Whether married for thirty years or eight months, the outcome can be the same.

The fact is that relationships, whether dating or married, are hard. Things do not always go perfectly, fighting does occur, and it takes a 100% commitment from both parties to make it a success. Often when people break off a relationship, they feel as though something is missing. The "spark" has gone, leaving one or both people feeling inadequate and unfulfilled.

However, even though the odds are not very good, healthy, and long-lasting relationships are definitely possible and proven by many people. Look at Paul Newman and Joanne Woodard, Danny Devito and Rhea Perlman, or Nancy, Ronald Regan and probably your parents.... What secrets do they possess? The answer is that they love their mate rather than relying on the "warm and fuzzy" feelings, which everyone knows will fade. By making love a choice you are making a decision that even in the bad times, you stick it out.

Think of it like choosing a car. You pick out the make, model, year. color and features that you believe are best for you. After driving your car for a couple of months, you realize that perhaps you should have purchased a larger car, or that maybe the leather seats would have been better, or on hot sunny days, the sunroof would have been nice. However, it is now too late so you choose to keep your car and make it work. It is the same for marriage. Not everything will be perfect and there will be major obstacles to overcome but you have made your decision and now you choose to make it work.

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101 Steps To A Happy Relationship - Steps 1-5

1. Start Over
When couples first get together, everything is new and exciting. They overlook the little annoying things the other person does. However, after time, the nagging starts, instead of hearing,"You look beautiful," they might
hear "Why are you wearing that shirt?" If this sounds like your relationship, first, the two of you need to sit down and be honest that things have changed. Identify the things each other did in the beginning of the relationship that created the attraction in the first place.Then together, make a commitment to start over. The truth is, both of you will have to work
on this. It will not automatically be easy but it is possible. Start by forgiving each other, forgetting the past, and then start over with the flirtation. Focus only on the special things your mate does and relearn to put the unimportant things aside. It will take some time so be patient.

2. Schedule Time
Spending quality time together is crucial. This time can be with friends, dining out, attending a sporting event, or cuddling together while watching a favorite movie. The activity is not what is important but the fact that you are together, doing something that you both enjoy. People have extremely busy schedules and between work, family, the home errands, and everything else going on, finding time for your mate can be difficult. Just as you would schedule a meeting on your calendar, show some courtesy in the relationship by
scheduling time with each other. Once the plan is in place, no backing out unless you have some life and death emergency.

3.The Power of Touch
When a child is ill, doctors will tell you that it is proven that a simple loving touch of a parent can quickly pull the child through crisis. It is the same for relationships. Playing with your mates hair, rubbing their hand, a soft kiss on the neck, a soft pat on the leg or giving back rub will make a huge difference in how your mate responds to you. When was the last time you walked up to your mate for no reason and without saying a word, affectionately placed a kiss on their neck? This is not in a intimate way, but an affectionate way. There is a difference. The next time the two of you are sitting in the car, at the grocery store, or standing in ine at the theater, quietly reach over and take their hand. Do not be surprised if you get a strange look of curiosity the first time!

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6. No Debates
If you know that you and your mate have proven differences in opinion on certain subjects, avoid those subjects. As an example, if you are a Republican and your mate is a Democrat, politics should probably be avoided. As the two of you identify new topics that could cause a debate session, stop the conversation before it even gets started.

7. Filler Talk
If you are married, especially with children, break out of the habit of talking about nothing. Many times, families will be sitting around the dinner table and the conversation consists of, "Do you like your carrots?", or "I wonder what is on TV tonight?" Instead, change your strategy to include real questions, showing real interest. Replace the normal, "Did you have a good day at work?" with "Tell me what you did at work today." Even if you do not understand everything being said, listen with interest. It is not that you are so
much interested in the work, but your mate's life.

8. Re-establish old traditions
If you and your mate had a tradition of some kind when you first got together, dust if off and breathe life back into it. Perhaps you met after work Friday at the local pub for a drink, washed your cars together every Saturday morning, or attended church together on Sunday. Whatever if was, re-establish the tradition.

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