Do you tell your spouse that you were a victim of incest or do you keep this to yourself?

How would you react if your husband/wife told you this?

Forever hold my peace.

He should definately be told. Not doing so will not only stress you out, but in the long run keeping it inside may manifest into some negative behavior down the road, making the situation much worse.

Let's face it, we all have issues. My husband telling me this may make me understand better why he behaves the way he does.

Yes please I need to know.  But if you tell me   

I watched this movie on Lifetime. . . damn I wish I remembered the name
But it was about a lady who was raped by her granddad at around 5yrs and she got married and told her husband and her really helped her through the whole thing.
I would tell my husband b/c I'm the kinda person that tell my boyfriends, friends, family everything.

motun_rayo:

I would tell my husband b/c I'm the kind of person that tell my[b] boyfriends[/b], friends, family everything.

@ HCH3COO

That would be wrong to suspend the wedding. You have to be able to trust someone in life, and if you can't trust and be vulnerable with your spouse, of what use is that spouse to you.

i dont know that i would tell a boyfriend.

Yall did not answer how you would react if your spouse told you.

nalijah07:

@ HCH3COO

That would be wrong to suspend the wedding. You have to be able to trust someone in life, and if you can't trust and be vulnerable with your spouse, of what use is that spouse to you.

Well. . . . exactly why I would _{call it off}.

I didnt mean I'll tell my boyfriend of like 3 months but a boyfriend of 2 yrs then yeah

by victim do u mean the product of 2 relatives?

Of course I would be shocked initially, but grateful that he felt that he could come to me with this information. I would do my best to support him, and also offer to go to counseling with him if he has not already done so.

I would also have a boat load of questions.

If my spouse told me I'll just be supportive. . . . I wouldnt leave him

Joseph6:

by victim do u mean the product of 2 relatives?

no victim as in the person who was raped by a relative at a young age.

I think at some point during the course of our relationship I'll let him know.

If I am told this by my spouse, I'll be really shocked and be very supportive. It's really tough going through something
like that, so I'll ask questions just to be sure he has gotten over it and to be very
supportive, of course.

I agree with you Tonim.

At some point when I feel that he won't freak out, or when I feel like he's worth it, I'll let him know.

can men really handle this type of information?

They'll have to, or else it's over

Ruby_Pearl:

I agree with you Tonim.

At some point when I feel that he won't freak out, or when I feel like he's worth it, I'll let him know.

Thanks sweetie

I just hope @ poster didn't go through this sha. It'll be too traumatic to bear.

Wait, sistawoman, you went through incest?

first of all i wont believe coz it doesnt make so much sense its better 2 say u were both consentin adults or atleast teenagers not that u'll paint it as if u were completely innocent,, . . . . . . . .so its not a plausible story sorry

Joseph6:

first of all i wont believe because it doesnt make so much sense its better 2 say u were both consentin adults or atleast teenagers not that u'll paint it as if u were completely innocent,, . . . . . . . .so its not a plausible story sorry

why is it not plausable that a young child was molested/raped by an older realtive. and if that is the case how is the person being raped responsible and not innocent?

Joseph6:

first of all i wont believe because it doesnt make so much sense its better 2 say u were both consentin adults or atleast teenagers not that u'll paint it as if u were completely innocent,, . . . . . . . .so its not a plausible story sorry

Seek help.

in her best interest and mine she shld keep it 2 herself and take it 2 the grave because mehn honestly i don't want 2 know oh aaah

it is just a question. That does not mean i am talking about myself just exploring a question all the way out
for all we know there is someone reading this that is debating this question in thier minds

@Joseph,

Do you even understand ya first post on this thread?

ya dats the thing, there's been a mix up

Joseph6:

ya that is the thing, there's been a mix up

Is the mix up that you did not understand the question or maybe what incest is? Because to say that the person being raped is not innocent is just ridiculous.

how wld the spouse beliv she was innocent when there is no proof, its better 2 stay safe and not tell dats wat i meant

Joseph6:

how would the spouse beliv she was innocent when there is no proof, its better 2 stay safe and not tell that is what i meant

If a child of say birth to 10 was raped by an adult or older child how is the one raped not innocent? if a girl is raped by her dad how is she not innocent

As someone with a similar experience,I am surely not telling!Not worth the hassle.

lechatte:

As someone with a similar experience,I am surely not telling!Not worth the hassle.

Is it that you dont think he will understand?