Mr•Olodo:
[size=24pt]Me I cant really have sex problem with my wife... am too old for dat don't allow sex destroy your marriage if you are sexually demanding too much buy a sex tøy and still maintain your marriage[/size]

Wanted to comment when I saw your username

Maybe.. just maybe b akpako na d large type

liloelawwal: A female friend of mine had d same problem when she got married,she got married as a virgin too n pased tru same tin u ar pasing tru now bt she eventually got pregnant n after delivery d whole pain went away.
She now enjoy her marriage n sex life.

thanks you.

pawesome: SOLUTION-nack akpako before u get married..all virgins,take note....sowi to say bt dts y most at tyms is gud to hv sex before marriage buh not quite d real solution
n to ur hubby,he is d man bt d re solution is for u to just bear d pain n get pregnant cz ah must tell u,no man...ah mean no man dn stand dis type f pain for upto a week into marriage not to talk bout 5mnths so d least u could do for him nw is just to bear d pain till u get pregnant cz dts d only solution instead f all d tym wasting on doctors so pls,bear d pain...it dsnt kill,it will only make u stronga

...and how is the bolded part of ur statement suppose to be a solution to her problem?... is the pain caused by the marriage?...

Enough said already. The ball is in your court OP.

poshhosh: I actually laughed while reading your story cos I've been in a similar situation. I actually tried the getting drunk method too, wrong move, I was just throwing up and was very aggressive when he tried touching me. Firstly, I don't think anything is wrong with you. You just have to get past the fear of pain, relax and you'll be fine. Lubrication is also very important and have sex often. Plenty of pre-intimacy too( to the point where u'll be the one begging him to penetrate). I've been married for a few years now and sex is now enjoyable. My husband tease me sometimes with how I was so fearful and we just laugh about it.

thank you , this is the type of advice she needs, experience!

Op - Try an Hausa medicine called 'Kaiyan matan' normally you take it with pap (Akamu) you will come back and thank me. This is s temporary measure you must seek as advice other of other poster in this forum and carry your hussy along, itbis very important he knows you are seeking help.

Mr•Olodo:
[size=24pt]Me I cant really have sex problem with my wife... am too old for dat don't allow sex destroy your marriage if you are sexually demanding too much buy a sex tøy and still maintain your marriage[/size]

u bi real olodo....... I pray may ur pikin no resemble u

Iceberyln: come leme help you!! Am good wit sex , call me 08173739250

So u still have d gut 2 display ur stupidity here. Na wa 4u o, d last time I saw ur mum I told her 2gv u d prepared herb concussion which she 4get 2 gave wen u'r baby. Now look @ d repercussion. I swear God punish u

Nice thread

Your problem is fear, anytime u develop fear u will experience pains even before ur man penetrates, solution is develop confidence and stop focusing fear.

aaronson: I know it sounds immoral but sex with your spouse to be is definately needed just so you know your partner's sexuality appetite and other problem because marriage is a life time investment with child bearing as profit to the blissful matrimony,some people are just so religious to know the technical truth even Jesus had to tell Abraham to lie to a king that sarah was his sister and The Same God still told Samuel to tell saul that he was just passing by to go to the mountain for prayers when truthfully he was going to the house of jesse to anoint david as king,so would you say God has made these people lied or that's simply WISDOM

pls lets try to reason fine, there is nothing being a virgin has to do with this thread, if you blame this on virginity or lack of sex before marriage( JUST REMEMBER THAT EVERYLADY HAD ONCE BEEN A VIRGIN).
I ALSO HAVE A FRIEND WHO HAS BEEN HAVING SEX EVEN TILL NOW SHE IS NOT MARRIED BUT NEVER ENJOYED IT, SOOOOO? WHAT IS YOUR POINT.
I HAVE A FRIEND ALSO WHO WAS A VIRGIN BEFORE SHE GOT MARRIED , AT INITIAL TIME IT WAS HELL BUT HER HUSBAND UNDERSTOOD HER, BUT NOW SHE CALLS FOR IT.

MEN HAS DIFFERENT SIZES OF MANHOOD, WHETHER BIG OR SMALL, EACH OF THEM WILL OBVIOUSLY HAVE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES.

MODERATE ONES WILL BE BETTER BEFORE CHILD BEARING
WHILE BIGGER ONES WILL BE MORE ENJOYABLE AFTER CHILDBEARING

"I READ A LOT OF BOOKS ON R/SHIP, SEX ETC.

SO MY DEAR, I AM SURE YOU HAVE NO PROBLEM,TRY WHAT THE EXPERIENCED WIVES HAD TOLD YOU, THEN YOU CAN NOW VISIT A DOCTOR IF NOT SOLVED.

my dear, get intimate with him for a long time and then use lubricant before he penetrate. try and be on top him while he lie down, do doggy style. let him do up to 3 rounds, repeat it on a daily basis for 7 days. by this time ur opening will be wide enough to reduce quick contraction. he should always start with fingering to help u get wet on time. stay bless.

Non-Virgins all the way...

Try lubricants like Aboniki

am also facing dis type of problem bt i couldn,t complain 2 anyone since am nt married yet

A lady who married as a virgin told me of how the 1st 3 months of her marriage was devoid of sex due to pain, she and her hubby went to see a doctor, the doctor injected her with "whatever" which made her half awake as such the husband was able to "fully browse her website" . and they sexed happily ever after.

Mary_John247: @Oluafolabi, Funny enough, I went to see one in Lagos. Its in one of this famous private hospitals and the guy told me to try and relax. That it all in my head, and If I continue this way I will loose my husband. I never went back. The experience put off seeing anyone in Nigeria. But if you have any recommendation I will gladly consider it. I plan on going to the UK to see one but also not certain if thats the best solution as well.
@Bumdish, yes we use lubricant sometimes and it helps alot.
@All, I also think it might be Vaginismus but I dont want to conclude until I see a specialist.
Its not like I dont get the urge for sex. I get easily aroused and I know how to pleasure him in all areas, but as a wife I am not delivering and thats a fact. I have a great husband and I don't blame him one bit. I know how important sex is to the marriage. He supported me through out but also believes its in my head. I think he is trying to be stern to see if it can produce a different result.

No matter what the problem is TREVO can correct it and make everything get back to normal. Call me to order a bottle 08082756235. With God all things are possible!

Mary_John247: @Oluafolabi, Funny enough, I went to see one in Lagos. Its in one of this famous private hospitals and the guy told me to try and relax. That it all in my head, and If I continue this way I will loose my husband. I never went back. The experience put off seeing anyone in Nigeria. But if you have any recommendation I will gladly consider it. I plan on going to the UK to see one but also not certain if thats the best solution as well.
@Bumdish, yes we use lubricant sometimes and it helps alot.
@All, I also think it might be Vaginismus but I dont want to conclude until I see a specialist.
Its not like I dont get the urge for sex. I get easily aroused and I know how to pleasure him in all areas, but as a wife I am not delivering and thats a fact. I have a great husband and I don't blame him one bit. I know how important sex is to the marriage. He supported me through out but also believes its in my head. I think he is trying to be stern to see if it can produce a different result.

my dear it can be Psychological which means u need to see a Marriage counsellor or it may be medical which means U need a specialist mostly in a University Teaching Hospital. Note: if U can b having sex with your husband once or twice a week $ endure d pain because love involves sacrifice, d pain may go $ your vagina will expend $ when ur vagina expands d pain will go 4ever. Pls don't lose ur husband because of this. May God help you dear.

The reason why we were arguing if fornication (pre-marital sex) is a necessary sin on nairaland the other day.If he had 'opened' the thing wella before marriage it'd hv been a free flow of traffic.Well,it's in the past now. ADVICE:DO IT BEFORE MARRIAGE. Not every guy would be able to bear listening to his wife squeal whenever he puts it in. Just try and endure d pain,cling to him and maybe put smtn in ur mouth to bite on.

aaronson: I know it sounds immoral but sex with your spouse to be is definately needed just so you know your partner's sexuality appetite and other problem because marriage is a life time investment with child bearing as profit to the blissful matrimony,some people are just so religious to know the technical truth even Jesus had to tell Abraham to lie to a king that sarah was his sister and The Same God still told Samuel to tell saul that he was just passing by to go to the mountain for prayers when truthfully he was going to the house of jesse to anoint david as king,so would you say God has made these people lied or that's simply WISDOM

it is so unfortunate this lie is from you!

Try TB Joshua.....

divex: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ok its painful for everyone at first. We did it like five more times or so before one day i felt it OMG what a feeling hahahahahahahahaha. hmmmm what i will tell you is to relax.

Arouse yourself first
Keep in mind that he's your hubby, he's paid for that pussy forever
watch some porn
Be crazy
Free yourself n remove ur mind from the fact that its painful. its just ur mind

Let your hubby enjoy what he's paid for

believe it or not it is not painful at all!

...

Mary_John247: I have been a follower of the family section for a couple of years. I have a serious issue that is threatening my marriage, I have no one to talk to as I am abit conscious about discussing my marriage with others even family. I am hoping to get some advice or ideas from here.

I have been married for a year now, my husband and I dated for a while before tying the knot. We never had sex before marriage, though we did alot of other things, I was just never ready to take it to the next level. After the wedding, trying to have sex was very difficult. I was very tight and it was extremely painful (unfortunately, pain is one thing I have never been able to tolerate). What did we not try, getting drunk, taking drugs. Long story short we finally had sex about 5months into the marriage. I have to say that my husband was very understanding and I will forever love him for this.

The problem now is that sex is extremely uncomfortable for me. It is always a battle for him to penetrate, because for me the pain always feels like the first time. Just imagine that everytime we want to get down there is always a struggle before he finally enters. My husband is tired and has told me that i need to find a way of solving this issue. Infact he said I should not speak to him until I am ready to open my legs and stay put for him to penetrate. He says he is loosing all the desire he has for me at the moment. I dont know what to do, I am so distraught. I feel like a failure as a wife, I mean who has ever heard of a new wife running from sex because of the fear of pain.
I dont know if its psychological or if there is something wrong with me down there physically. All I know is that I need help, because I cannot imagine loosing my best friend and soul mate. Pls is there anyone who has gone through this, can anyone help with suggestions on how I can learn to open up, relax and deal with the discomfort. Because I believe that if I can do this, then I can be able to let go and then it will be pleasurable for him and myself as well.

Contact funmi Akingbade of d sex & sexuality section of d saturday punch newspaper, she's a master/councelor on issues lik ds. Try 08188022803

@OP.. the pain is all in your head. My wife was a virgin and we had same issues. After doing all the Google research we thought she had vaginismus too. But one day we tried this method of her drinking alchohol to relax her before sex. It worked like magic. Once she was tipsy and relaxed lovemaking was easy and sweet to her. After a couple of nights with the 'alchohol tipsy' method she started enjoying sex. Give this a try before going to a doctor. Try red wine or Bailey's irish cream. Make sure youre really stoned then let your hubby take over. And please ensure your husband is always using copious amounts of lubricants every time. Thank me later.

Well, if we are talking large P, tight V problem here, I do believe there are quite a number of things you could try:
1. First and foremost: Get interested in in the S-word. Yes, as long as you fear it, you cannot do it. Create an interest in it and a desire to have it with Hub.
Focus on your feelings of pleasure and excitement.
2. Then begin with K-Y jelly. Its a lubricator and think its safe enough.
3. Hub could try finger penetration before ...
4. Some say personal finger insertion helps too. This is a kind of V-exercise to help broaden the 'horizon'. Use K-Y jelly while doing it. And be sure
to carry out the exercise alone. Its advised you do repeat it about 5 times before stopping.
5. You may have to invite Hub to go down on you. Reason: will absolutely get your juices flowing and maybe make things easier and smoother.
6. To be absolutely certain go see a doctor to rule out the possibility of any bacterial infection that might cause V-dryness.
7. Some recommend a change in positioning. You might want to exchange the lei-on-your-back mode with you-on-top-and-on-your-knees.

All in all, it lies with you both. You be willing to overcome this and He be willing to make it easier for you and help you over it.
Hurry up though, you know how 'polygamous' our men are. Just don't give him an excuse.
Best of luck.

Homogeneositys: am also facing dis type of problem bt i couldn,t complain 2 anyone since am nt married yet

i can understand what u going thru! Pls,pls understand very clearly it is not painful.i can nt determine the type ur case may be but treatmt is very handy and cost effective.due to the stereotype nature of comments already on this tread.i cant post try see a female doc explain urself.she wil gladly explain everytin to u and relax urself.its no biggy!

contactuzo: @OP.. the pain is all in your head. My wife was a virgin and we had same issues. After doing all the Google research we thought she had vaginismus too. But one day we tried this method of her drinking alchohol to relax her before sex. It worked like magic. Once she was tipsy and relaxed lovemaking was easy and sweet to her. After a couple of nights with the 'alchohol tipsy' method she started enjoying sex. Give this a try before going to a doctor. Try red wine or Bailey's irish cream. Make sure youre really stoned then let your hubby take over. And please ensure your husband is always using copious amounts of lubricants every time. Thank me later.

i beg u to stop this madnes of alcohol til drunk limit inorder to av sex.it is medicaly insane!

Your hubby is the one having issues ; if he can sustain an erection he will eventually penetrate you no matter how you try to push him away in fact your resistance will further stimulate a man that can sustain erection and if he eventually penetrate you he will tear away every resistance on the path. Please encourage your man to sustain an erection while you lubricate.