dayokanu: Ihedinobi I hope he is seeing this thread

C.Ovo:
The reason why we were arguing if fornication (pre-marital sex) is a necessary sin on nairaland the other day.If he had 'opened' the thing wella before marriage it'd hv been a free flow of traffic.Well,it's in the past now. ADVICE:DO IT BEFORE MARRIAGE. Not every guy would be able to bear listening to his wife squeal whenever he puts it in. Just try and endure d pain,cling to him and maybe put smtn in ur mouth to bite on.

Ihedinobi: Ok, @op, I do get you and I'm really sorry you're having this experience. I wonder though, did you, like, chat with your mom, experienced sisters or aunts before coming online? It might have been better to do so unless they were unavailable or unable to help.

Um, I don't think you have any problems. I think what inhibitions you have now are natural to virgins. I don't think you're too afraid to have sexx for the first time, I think that the contraction that makes you too tight is normal to first-timers.

I don't know if you guys have tried this: slow and very gentle penetration. It's actually so slow that it's a while before you realize that he's inside you. It's a very little depth at a time and at each depth he does very slow thrusting motions waiting for your vagginal muscles to relax. As they do, he slowly increases depth of penetration.

Another way is to tease your muscles with a shallow penetration and as soon as they relax, he pushes in completely. But, believe me, that can hurt far more than you expect, and you should probably not try it the first few times you successfully have sexx. However, if and when you do, once he is in, he should pause and wait for your muscles to relax before thrusting slowly. Soon, the pain should turn into a lot more pleasure and a lot more lubrication.

The first way won't hurt as much as the second, it'll hurt a bit and then the pleasure will take over and then hurt a bit again after which the pleasure will take over and so on as he gently increases depth of penetration and continues to thrust slowly at each depth. The key though is that the depth is increased in stages and he must read the contractions and relaxations of your vagginal muscles as well as your facial expressions properly and ask you at all times when it is too painful. Whenever it is, he should pull back a bit and continue making back-and-forth motions at that depth until you're comfortable enough for him to go in deeper.

The second option is actually smarter because the first can bore the both of you. So, there should be a smart combination of the two in such a way that he surprises you when he pushes in fully. That way, the pain will be sharp and short.

Hope I've helped a bit. Let me know if you've already tried this or you want something in the above explained a bit more clearly.

Effiwizzi: IF YOUR HUSBAND HAD INSISTED YOU BOTH HAD SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE, YOU WOULD HAVE TOLD HIM NOOOO!
ITS NOT DECENT BLA BLA BLA, DON T WORRY WHEN WE ARE MARRIED , I WILL GIVE IT TO YOU ANYTIME , ANYWHERE AND AS MANY TIMES TIMES AS YOU WANT IT AND JUST MAY BE YOU SAID IT IF YOU WANT TO BE SINCERE TO YOUR SELF ND NOW LOOK WHAT IS HAPPENING.
THAT MIGHT MAN MIGHT BE REGRETING NOW. BUT TOO LATE. i HAVE HAD A SIMILAR ISSUE HENCE MY COMMENT AND I M SO THANKFUL THAT I ENDED THE RELATIONSHIP AND DATED ANOTHER WHOM I FINALY MARRIED AND HAPPILY MARRIED TILL DATE.
BABES ALLOW PERSON TEST HIM SHOE SIZE B4 HIM BUY AM PLSSSS.

MarvellousGod: upon you wrote in caps yet your post makes no meaning. .you want us to clap for you because you left someone you called your love cos of a minor issue that could be solved?? Smh...or you're blaming the op that she didn't have sex with her man before marriage so that the man could notice it on time and leave or what?? What's your point exactly? Some guys shaaa

Mary_John247: I have been a follower of the family section for a couple of years. I have a serious issue that is threatening my marriage, I have no one to talk to as I am abit conscious about discussing my marriage with others even family. I am hoping to get some advice or ideas from here.

I have been married for a year now, my husband and I dated for a while before tying the knot. We never had sex before marriage, though we did alot of other things, I was just never ready to take it to the next level. After the wedding, trying to have sex was very difficult. I was very tight and it was extremely painful (unfortunately, pain is one thing I have never been able to tolerate). What did we not try, getting drunk, taking drugs. Long story short we finally had sex about 5months into the marriage. I have to say that my husband was very understanding and I will forever love him for this.

The problem now is that sex is extremely uncomfortable for me. It is always a battle for him to penetrate, because for me the pain always feels like the first time. Just imagine that everytime we want to get down there is always a struggle before he finally enters. My husband is tired and has told me that i need to find a way of solving this issue. Infact he said I should not speak to him until I am ready to open my legs and stay put for him to penetrate. He says he is loosing all the desire he has for me at the moment. I dont know what to do, I am so distraught. I feel like a failure as a wife, I mean who has ever heard of a new wife running from sex because of the fear of pain.
I dont know if its psychological or if there is something wrong with me down there physically. All I know is that I need help, because I cannot imagine loosing my best friend and soul mate. Pls is there anyone who has gone through this, can anyone help with suggestions on how I can learn to open up, relax and deal with the discomfort. Because I believe that if I can do this, then I can be able to let go and then it will be pleasurable for him and myself as well.

aaronson: I know it sounds immoral but sex with your spouse to be is definately needed just so you know your partner's sexuality appetite and other problem because marriage is a life time investment with child bearing as profit to the blissful matrimony,some people are just so religious to know the technical truth even Jesus had to tell Abraham to lie to a king that sarah was his sister and The Same God still told Samuel to tell saul that he was just passing by to go to the mountain for prayers when truthfully he was going to the house of jesse to anoint david as king,so would you say God has made these people lied or that's simply WISDOM

Mary_John247: I have been a follower of the family section for a couple of years. I have a serious issue that is threatening my marriage, I have no one to talk to as I am abit conscious about discussing my marriage with others even family. I am hoping to get some advice or ideas from here.

I have been married for a year now, my husband and I dated for a while before tying the knot. We never had sex before marriage, though we did alot of other things, I was just never ready to take it to the next level. After the wedding, trying to have sex was very difficult. I was very tight and it was extremely painful (unfortunately, pain is one thing I have never been able to tolerate). What did we not try, getting drunk, taking drugs. Long story short we finally had sex about 5months into the marriage. I have to say that my husband was very understanding and I will forever love him for this.

The problem now is that sex is extremely uncomfortable for me. It is always a battle for him to penetrate, because for me the pain always feels like the first time. Just imagine that everytime we want to get down there is always a struggle before he finally enters. My husband is tired and has told me that i need to find a way of solving this issue. Infact he said I should not speak to him until I am ready to open my legs and stay put for him to penetrate. He says he is loosing all the desire he has for me at the moment. I dont know what to do, I am so distraught. I feel like a failure as a wife, I mean who has ever heard of a new wife running from sex because of the fear of pain.
I dont know if its psychological or if there is something wrong with me down there physically. All I know is that I need help, because I cannot imagine loosing my best friend and soul mate. Pls is there anyone who has gone through this, can anyone help with suggestions on how I can learn to open up, relax and deal with the discomfort. Because I believe that if I can do this, then I can be able to let go and then it will be pleasurable for him and myself as well.

shushu 211:

did ur parents perform fgm on u?if yes @ what age?u might still be remembering d pain.and sex may hold no pleasure anymore.

Mary_John247: I have been a follower of the family section for a couple of years. I have a serious issue that is threatening my marriage, I have no one to talk to as I am abit conscious about discussing my marriage with others even family. I am hoping to get some advice or ideas from here.
I have been married for a year now, my husband and I dated for a while before tying the knot. We never had sex before marriage, though we did alot of other things, I was just never ready to take it to the next level. After the wedding, trying to have sex was very difficult. I was very tight and it was extremely painful (unfortunately, pain is one thing I have never been able to tolerate). What did we not try, getting drunk, taking drugs. Long story short we finally had sex about 5months into the marriage. I have to say that my husband was very understanding and I will forever love him for this.

The problem now is that sex is extremely uncomfortable for me. It is always a battle for him to penetrate, because for me the pain always feels like the first time. Just imagine that everytime we want to get down there is always a struggle before he finally enters. My husband is tired and has told me that i need to find a way of solving this issue. Infact he said I should not speak to him until I am ready to open my legs and stay put for him to penetrate. He says he is loosing all the desire he has for me at the moment. I dont know what to do, I am so distraught. I feel like a failure as a wife, I mean who has ever heard of a new wife running from sex because of the fear of pain.
I dont know if its psychological or if there is something wrong with me down there physically. All I know is that I need help, because I cannot imagine loosing my best friend and soul mate. Pls is there anyone who has gone through this, can anyone help with suggestions on how I can learn to open up, relax and deal with the discomfort. Because I believe that if I can do this, then I can be able to let go and then it will be pleasurable for him and myself as well.

Mary_John247: I have been a follower of the family section for a couple of years. I have a serious issue that is threatening my marriage, I have no one to talk to as I am abit conscious about discussing my marriage with others even family. I am hoping to get some advice or ideas from here.

I have been married for a year now, my husband and I dated for a while before tying the knot. We never had sex before marriage, though we did alot of other things, I was just never ready to take it to the next level. After the wedding, trying to have sex was very difficult. I was very tight and it was extremely painful (unfortunately, pain is one thing I have never been able to tolerate). What did we not try, getting drunk, taking drugs. Long story short we finally had sex about 5months into the marriage. I have to say that my husband was very understanding and I will forever love him for this.

The problem now is that sex is extremely uncomfortable for me. It is always a battle for him to penetrate, because for me the pain always feels like the first time. Just imagine that everytime we want to get down there is always a struggle before he finally enters. My husband is tired and has told me that i need to find a way of solving this issue. Infact he said I should not speak to him until I am ready to open my legs and stay put for him to penetrate. He says he is loosing all the desire he has for me at the moment. I dont know what to do, I am so distraught. I feel like a failure as a wife, I mean who has ever heard of a new wife running from sex because of the fear of pain.
I dont know if its psychological or if there is something wrong with me down there physically. All I know is that I need help, because I cannot imagine loosing my best friend and soul mate. Pls is there anyone who has gone through this, can anyone help with suggestions on how I can learn to open up, relax and deal with the discomfort. Because I believe that if I can do this, then I can be able to let go and then it will be pleasurable for him and myself as well.