I am going to admit something. A few weeks ago, I think I went on what would be deemed by an external adjudicator as The Worst Date in The History of The World.

Firstly — She was late. 20 minutes late, which is irritating. I sit, drumming my fingers on the table, thinking of all the emails piling up in my inbox and work on my desk while I waste time sitting on my own waiting for a girl I dont know.

The girl arrives and she’s undoubtedly very beautiful. But she’s also very nervous, and shaky hands, not knowing quite what to do with herself when I kiss her on the cheek hello. The first thing she asks me is if I’ve done many blind dates before — not really, I reply. Have you? No. sHe’s new to this. sHe explains to me that he’s just come out of a very, very long relationship. It’s all been hugely difficult. You know how these things go — you either grow closer together over the years or you grow apart — they just grew apart. What about me? When was my last relationship? I tell him. Who broke up with who, he asks. Do I regret it? Why exactly did it go wrong? I am caught off-guard. We haven’t even ordered drinks or found out what the other one does for a living and I’m being forced to divulge more details on my last relationship than some of my friends even know.

I realise this girl (who I think is in his late thirties, possibly the early side of forty) basically hasn’t been on a date before.


1. Don't be nervous
Nearly every man I have ever been on a date with has been nervous and there is absolutely no need to be. A woman can sense it from the moment you arrive and in turn it will make her feel on edge. Help create an atmosphere you would feel relaxed in, don’t just expect her to be chatty and warm enough for the both of you. It’s not a big deal. It’s just a drink and getting to know someone. Smile, kiss her on the cheek hello, sit down, breathe, talk. Easy, yes?

2. Don't sell yourself
You are on a date, you are not on Dragon’s Den. This woman is not Deborah Meaden and you don’t need to convince her to invest in you. Avoid “hard sell” talk about yourself. If you’re a good person, this will speak for itself without giving her an extensive list of your achievements of personality traits.

3. Don't be more than ten minutes late
It’s irritating. People are busy. Wait until you’ve been going out for at least a year to do this. She will love you by that point and will be forced to forgive you. For now — be on time.

4. Don't talk too much
Ask questions. Listen. Don’t be scared of pauses.

5. Know personal space
Unless she has given you heavy-handed signals that she wants to kiss you, don’t sit really close to her and don’t play footsie with her. Relaxed, comfortable body language is good, but nothing over-familiar. Done badly and it can border on threatening.

6. Don't be weird about the bill
Most women I know would assume they are paying for their half of the bill (or, at least I hope they do). However, if you would like to pay, this is a nice gesture and done in the right way can be very charming and chivalrous. Don’t be forceful or bolshie about it — it’s her right to pay for her drink/meal if she wants to. Asking to pay in a polite, respectful way is key.

Everybody on NL are now relationship experts. Mtchwwww!!

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