TV01:

Two slightly different things. Earnings in marriage against pay in the workforce. Earnings in marriage is not what predicates the feminsit push for equality in marriage. It's an absolute, they do not beleive a man should lead.

A "gender" pay gap due to structural faults/bias is discriminatory. Equal work for equal pay. But any structural impediments have been removed a long-time ago, and any pay gap is now due to womens choices, not discrimination.


TV

Surely that must have been one of the drivers with the current rise of feminism.

Equal pay for equal work = Fairness of economic rights

Edwife, Bustline is a very pretty woman o

Kimoni:


Sure I got you.

I know quite a few too oo and you wouldn't even know. Don't mind TV jare. If all men were like TV, so many women will not be married in this world. His list is endless - single mothers, matured singles, matured married...widows and divorces should not even bother...awon aye

This one too.. na me and my calculator brain sef that worked it out when one did 40th one year and the other did 2 years later.(like its my business) .But you would never know.

Just to add maturity is not age, I once dated someone also older than I was but was verrrrry immature. He came from a well known family so its not like there wont have been financial security and this is not just inheritance but they had political clout and marrying into that family would have also helped me career wise. Its just that the boda was what yorubas called boda ti o danu coupled with still being a bit tied to his family's apron strings.You know those kind of spend now think later people. I just could not keep up and ran away.

Kimoni:


She is not good looking?? She is very pretty to me ooo

Pls don't look at that crying video alone. That was her worst state that should never have gotten out to the public. The guy is so silly.

naijababe:
Edwife, Bustline is a very pretty woman o

That's when you know a woman is pretty,in her very worst state,away from make-up.

naijababe:
Edwife, Bustline is a very pretty woman o

Edwife, I would have pasted her pic "in her glory" here but Pickabaeu1 and TV will drive me from here if I do

damiso:


This one too.. na me and my calculator brain sef that worked it out when one did 40th one year and the other did 2 years later.(like its my business) .But you would never know.

Just to add maturity is not age, I once dated someone also older than I was but was verrrrry immature. He came from a well known family so its not like there wont have been financial security and this is not just inheritance but they had political clout and marrying into that family would have also helped me career wise. Its just that the boda was what yorubas called boda ti o danu coupled with still being a bit tied to his family's apron strings.You know those kind of spend now think later people. I just could not keep up and ran away.

Dami, boda ti o danu kwanu? Eleyi o da o

edwife:




That's when you know a woman is pretty,in her very worst state,away from make-up.

I was referencing that video o, at her worst she looked younger and better than the Tunde sef. Very poor choice of gigolo, e pain me for the woman small abeg.

naijababe:


I was referencing that video o, at her worst she looked younger and better than the Tunde sef. Very poor choice of gigolo, e pain me for the woman small abeg.

That was my annoyance with her, if you want to eat opolo, at least eat the one with plenty egg. She needs to learn from stella Damasus. That one is a pro in selection

Kimoni:


That was my annoyance with her, if you want to eat opolo, at least eat the one with plenty egg. She needs to learn from stella Damasus. That one is a pro in selection

Which Stella?I beg Daniel is the only one for me.

She always go for fat guys....

Kimoni:


That was my annoyance with her, if you want to eat opolo, at least eat the one with plenty egg. She needs to learn from stella Damasus. That one is a pro in selection

You are now going from debate to gossip..

Who is Yetunde bustline?

TV01:

Excuse me If it wasn't what the guy was after - papers acording to Jaybee- she could not have snared him in the first place. Belly is not a disqualifier for men . Isn't the new woman younger and hotter. The bro' has some sort of status. You lot won't gree me !


TV

For some women maybe. Me I don't like men with 'pot belly'.

One of my own 'benchmarks'

jaybee3:
Surely that must have been one of the drivers with the current rise of feminism.

Equal pay for equal work = Fairness of economic rights

The gender pay gap was debunked almost 30 years ago - there may be some residual bad attitudes, but no structural impediments to equal pay. Plus therer are lots of policies that mitigate against it and penalise it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8EK6Y1X_xa4

I wasn't one of the drivers, but a trope feminism ceaselessly pushes


TV

bellong:
You are now going from debate to gossip..

Who is Yetunde bustline?

edwife:


Which Stella?I beg Daniel is the only one for me.

She always go for fat guys....

Mofe Duncan is fat??

From what I heard, Yetunde started the roforofo...

She accused BabaT of not doing 'very well' in bed and in response, BabaT released a video she was begging him to continue to the marriage/relationship.

The younger lady is not hotter.

Kimoni:


Mofe Duncan is fat??

They both denied dating.Stella never denied dating anyone,she will rather keep quiet.

naijababe:


Dami, boda ti o danu kwanu? Eleyi o da o

Its true naa...

edwife:


They both denied dating.Stella never denied dating anyone,she will rather keep quiet.

she denied Daniel wella, severally sef, always claiming they her business partners. Pls forget stella oo. RMD too is fat??

Denial is the norm my dear.

bukatyne:
From what I heard, Yetunde started the roforofo...

She accused BabaT of not doing 'very well' in bed and in response, BabaT released a video she was begging him to continue to the marriage/relationship.

The younger lady is not hotter.

But that's obvious naa, with that pot belly

jaybee3:


Perhaps there is the realization that couples are now expected to jointly contribute to the success of the union

ok

interesting..

I still know parents are averse when the man is not earning even if the lady is earning so I wonder the sudden irrelevance

cc: Kimoni

pickabeau1:


ok

interesting..

I still know parents are averse when the man is not earning even if the lady is earning so I wonder the sudden irrelevance

cc: Kimoni

Parents might continue to advocate for what they practised but if the couple themselves have another arrangement, it makes a nonsense of whatever the parents advised.

Kimoni:


Parents might continue to advocate for what they practised but if the couple themselves have another arrangement, it makes a nonsense of whatever the parents advised.

ok

pickabeau1:


why don't u school us.. learned one

I do not have time for controversial people when it comes to issues that is as simple as eating bread and drinking tea.
Run along.....

Truckpusher:
[s]I do not have time for controversial people when it comes to issues that is as simple as eating bread and drinking tea.
Run along.....[/s]

such a copout
Making unfounded assertions because it sounds good... tsk tsk

Go young, young man, go young II

I’ll continue the discussion about age differentials & sex as warranted but I wanted to touch on another reason – possibly even more important - why an appropriate age differential is a good thing.

Status:
Whatever women say to the contrary they typically want to partner with men of higher status. Now, by status, we can mean a number of things, or a multi-faceted thing.

Power, wealth, academic achievement, societal respect or recognition in the main, but not excluding others such as physical attributes, peculiar talents/skills, occupation, etc. Emphasis can be different from place to place, and cultures may stress or favour one or other.

It can mean personality in the short term, but in a marriage type situation, over time, wifey go "see you finish", so a great personality, won't hide character flaws or behavioural problems. Funny, many women fall for personality.

At an individual level, it may also vary dependant on circumstances; so for example, an independently rich woman, may not place as much emphasis on earnings or potential.

Now, status is particularly important to women - and relevant to men - because it informs female attraction.

As a rule, women lose attraction for men who they consider lower status – compounding by the fact that they will typically blame you if they feel they deserve more than you are offering, or they could have done better without you, or with someone different. Regardless of if this is in fact true or not.

When a women starts to think as above, a number of things can potentially happen

1. She will constantly test him and drag headship and otherwise nag and make your life a misery
2. She will be more prone to stray and be receptive to the “higher status” men she comes into contact with
3. You are more likely to be cuckolded
4. In countries where the law favours women, she will be more likely to “Wexit” – wife exit – the marriage using divorce laws – potentially leaving you struggling.

The main exceptions to this rule are women who are well socialised culturally or religiously to always defer to male headship, or for some other reason cannot stray or leave.

But even here, unless they are super so, their disgruntled state will manifest in the union, and it won’t be as happy as it could be. Fact “many unions exist in a state of low level conflict”, your higher status and the respect it engenders can help obviate that.

When a woman truly respects you, you will be able to tell by how she treats you – she’ll look to please you and be sexually responsive (ATBE i.e. health, pregnancy etc.).

As a man, it’s imperative that you are able to provide for your home as much as possible. Not to say your wife cannot make a contribution, but it’s primarily your responsibility.

The easiest way to lose status is to not be able to provide. Women may claim about sexual failings, but they hate nothing more than a “useless” man – one who cannot provide.

Being older, will help you be more established, mature and able to deal with the dynamics of marriage better. You’ll earn more respect and status as your demonstrate long-term visionary and strategic thinking. And hopefully, employ any assets you have to ground the union.

Additionally, there will be a natural respect for an older, more mature, more established man – but you must live up to this as above, and dealing with her wisely.

If anything, I’d say if at all possible, marry a woman who earns less. If economics means you need a high-earning wife, try to increase your income, increase to match, or get a well socialised one. And demonstrate status in other areas.

For example, Tony Blairs wife earned more, but he was PM. If you marry a high earning investment banker and you are highly regarded in academic circles – move from Lecturer to Dr or Prof.

Decipher what women say and what they want. When they say “equality in the marriage”, they don’t want to equally share or stress about provision or financial stability.

They want to claim equal contribution, but be secure that if they wanted to go open a boutique or take 2 year off to raise the kids, they wouldn’t suffer an impaired lifestyle. They want to claim equal decision making, but the buck stops with you if major endeavours go k-legged.

Do chores all you want, but they don’t enhance your status in lieu of the big ticket items. If you lose yourself in her emotions, she will punish you for her feelings. Don’t focus primarily on making her happy, strive to be a good husband and father. And of course God first – and make sure she knows it – Pastor is also status !


TV

Lord have mercy .. Continue

TV01, that's more like it. None of that half +7 ish. Young is relative and your last post puts that into context succinctly.

TV01, this is more like it. Much more like it. It's almost like you are talking about me sef, I dey suspect you

Bravo!



Bellong, this your brother go do book oo

No long epistles for me,even though i have some questions....

Watch this video,i found it interesting.

http://video-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hvideo-xpt1/v/t43.1792-2/11077625_932134473550117_949052596_n.mp4?efg=eyJybHIiOjIwMTAsInJsYSI6NDA5Nn0%3D&rl=2010&vabr=1340&oh=b85663507b4f29caefeb7409530d3c7f&oe=55B9367A

Spambot is messing up with me,this is part of the transcript.

Women respond

One of the interviewed respondents said:

“It depends on the person involved… When you meet the kind of person you want, it becomes no barrier.”

Another woman agreed, adding that the age does not matter at all when a woman finds a “dream man”.

The lady in yellow said that an older man was even a preferable option for her, “because the guy will treat me like a baby, is going to be understanding”.

But not all the surveyed females shared this point of view. One of the participants said that ten years is too much for her.

Men respond

One of the interviewed men said that “if she is young at heart”, “if she is confident with herself”, it is ok. His position was backed by several other males who noted that the age is not the issue. Still, the other men could not imagine being in such a situation that they needed their partner to be younger.

One of them insisted that 10-year gap was fine for relationships, but not acceptable for marriage.

A lot of Naij.com readers took to Facebook to comment on the survey outcome and share their point of view on the issue:

Obiahu Jasper Chijioke: “Is only in marriage we say age is just a number, this is real for men. But for women it is not too real because their age count fastly in respect of menopause. You can’t marry a lady of 65yrs, but a man of 80yrs can marry a girl of 25yrs.”

Gbokoyi Olabisi: “Age is a number, maturity N understanding is d koko.”

Ezekiel Israel: “Thanks for the video though……..I will say to those ladies who said nope to their age mates and under…but prefer 10 nd above…bcoz of pampering ….that… there is an adage which states that A FOOL AT 40 IS A FOOL FOREVER….that is there are tendency that at 40 one can still b a fool…. so going into a marriage considering age is life entering into a bus without taking notice of who d driver is…..either a small boy or a matured man….. u know most times we see little kids and will say to his or her mother this child behaves more than his or her age…bcax of its high I.Q…so think b4 any1 get into d cell of marriage….”

Raymon Ola: “Normally men suppose to get older than his fiance, a man of 65 can marry a girl of 25yrs.”

Wisdom F Pual: “Age is not maturity anyway, am married to a woman younger than me and am enjoying the marriage,because I see her as my younger sister, so, I pet her, overlook her errors while on her part gives me due respect.”

Philus Akpos: “Age is truly just a number. When u fall in love u won’t mind age.”

Age is a number, maturity N understanding is d koko
10 · 7 May at 03:12

Ezekiel Israel thanks for the video though........I will say to those ladies who said nope to their age mates and under...but prefer 10 nd above...bcoz of pampering ....that... there is an adage which states that A FOOL AT 40 IS A FOOL FOREVER....that is there are te...See More
4 · 7 May at 04:45

Mukhtar Hassan Usman I believe age is just a number, but it is the maturity that matters.But in my own opinion, I can't get marriage to a woman that's older than me because women get older faster than men. When you marry a woman that you are ten years older than her or five years, after 20 years of getting married u will find out that u people are of the same. Despite the respect and age barrier.
4 · 7 May at 04:17

Stephen Iro hmmmmmm age are numbers? lol i can marry some one older dan me wit not more than 5years but 10 is rubish as for age mate yes too
8 May at 06:42

Wisdom F Pual age is not maturity anyway, am married to a woman younger than me and am enjoying the marriage,because I sees her as my younger sister, so, I pet her,overlooks her errors while on her part gives me due respect.
3 · 7 May at 09:53

Zukas Cole As a man I can't marry a woman who Is older than me I rather go for my age mate n below
7 May at 08:21

Olu Thomas Emmanuel 10 years older than me As a guy? No oooo... God bless u make una get small misunderstanding she will surely make reference to d massive age difference!!! For a guy I don't see it as a norm...
7 May at 04:23
1 Reply

Prince Idris Sadiq Ogirima yes you can say age is just a number when it fall withing 1-10 years difference of yes i can marry if only she understand the moral, psychological & other part of life & nt because she is under pressure i will sure marry her bt nt when she will be the one...See More
8 May at 08:38

Saheed Abdul I can marry a lady that younger Dan me &my age mate
8 May at 22:39

Raymon Ola Normally men suppose to get older than his fiance, a man of 65 can marry a girl of 25yrs,
3 · 7 May at 04:10

Philus Akpos Age is truly just a number. When u fall in love u won't mind age
7 May at 07:53

Akinjobi Joseph Oluwafemi I can't evevn marry my age mate talkless of marry d person's holder than me.......I can't.
7 May at 04:40

Godgift Tpreye age doesn't really matter because is till happen every where as long there is love, and understand between the two party. same age i don't really like it , why 10 yrs older than my wife the age gap is too long for my own opinion . i will really prefer 2 ,3,4 to 5 yrs is ok . many thank

But what does the statistic say about age disparity?

Based on the recent research by the USA’s Emory University, a five-year age gap statistically means you’re 18 percent more likely to divorce (versus just 3 percent with a 1-year age difference), and that rate rises to 39 percent for a 10-year age difference and 95 percent for a 20-year age gap. Generally. Although there are various factors that can influence the situation.

Still, any couple, any marriage is unique. One relationships might seem perfect from the statistical point of view, but end in a year, the others would seem totally “wrong” but turn out to be unbreakable.

American writer Maggie Reyes once said:

“Marriages are like fingerprints; each one is different and each one is beautiful.”

So may your marriage be a beautiful fingerprint. And mind that LOVE, FRIENDSHIP and RESPECT make answer to many questions.

Hmm Hypergamy.. Only a big deal with Nigerians.

Times have changed and financial status is not a big deal anymore. New age men are open to their bacon winner wives.

For Parents with school age children here; Speaking of new age, Do you notice in our children's schools, that mixed age grouping stops at school age?(pre-Kindergarten).

*Recesses are divided into different times to prevent what we champion in Nigeria.

*First graders cannot play with a third grader etc

* Infact I've never seen a 12th grader ask a 10th grader out to a prom. Never.

Come to think of it; I don't think I'll ever endorse one old agbaya to ask my daughters hand in marriage because he's i'ntellectual level' is assumed to be higher than hers??
By the way, What's the age difference btw Kath & prince for example? 1or 2? Obama & Michele? Bush & Hilary? To name few.

Times have changed folks.

My zero cents..