kai...I have missed o

Ewuro4:
Hmm Hypergamy.. Only a big deal with Nigerians.
Times have changed and financial status is not a big deal anymore. New age men are open to their bacon winner wives.
For Parents with school age children here; Speaking of new age, Do you notice in our children's schools, that mixed age grouping stops at school age?(pre-Kindergarten).
*Recesses are divided into different times to prevent what we champion in Nigeria.
*First graders cannot play with a third grader etc
* Infact I've never seen a 12th grader ask a 10th grader out to a prom. Never.
Come to think of it; I don't think I'll ever endorse one old agbaya to ask my daughters hand in marriage because he's i'ntellectual level' is assumed to be higher than hers??
By the way, What's the age difference btw Kath & prince for example? 1or 2? Obama & Michele? Bush & Hilary? To name few.
Times have changed folks.
My zero cents..

I was thinking about that too, imagine her bringing home some guy who is 10 years older I will ask plenty plenty questions o

naijababe:


I was thinking about that too, imagine her bringing home some guy who is 10 years older I will ask plenty plenty questions o

Babe the point is they are not even wired to fall in love with such age gap.

My kindergartener only converses, will invite, play dates with a first grader at home and in school. The first question they (not even me) asks new neighbours is 'what grade are you'? If we have older kid over, everybody play seperately. That's how strict their orientation is.

No freaking way. Hypergamy is soo old school jare.

naijababe:


I was thinking about that too, imagine her bringing home some guy who is 10 years older I will ask plenty plenty questions o

Aunty kile mean

Just joking though ,my mum did plenty investigation and asked questions on why hubby had not had a serous relationship that led to marriage in his 30's(she and my dad got married in their 20's).

Guess sometimes you can't always help who your child falls for.

However I rarely ever remember the age gap to be honest .its my mum that says ' o baje sha won no she ba oko e Soro shakala to won ba biyin ni ile kana broda lo ba ma pe' meaning see how you talk to your husband de you know you will be calling him uncle if he was your relative'

I don't think it's a matter of old school or new school jare.

Most or all of my parents friends who they went to sec school/ALevels/Uni with have a very small age gap difference.Almost all of them married their university or sec chool sweethearts. You should have seen them all gisting about their great ife(not OAU) or UI days when we had family functions.Those who went to university in the late 60's &70's tended to marry their age mates.My mum said girls who dated older men or sugar daddies were generally looked down on. All of them started life together from the bottom, when my dad married my mum they did not have a sofa. My mum bought her first brand new car before my dad as she worked in a parastatal and they gave them Car Loan earlier.

Dare say I hypergamy is worse in the younger generation in Nigeria.

naijababe:


I was thinking about that too, imagine her bringing home some guy who is 10 years older I will ask plenty plenty questions o

Kath is actually older than william

tearoses:


Kath is actually older than william

Two years or so, that is nothing o but 10 years, walahi I will ask questions jare

damiso:
I don't think it's a matter of old school or new school jare.
Most or all of my parents friends who they went to sec school/ALevels/Uni with have a very small age gap difference.Almost all of them married their university or sec chool sweethearts. You should have seen them all gisting about their great ife(not OAU) or UI days when we had family functions.Those who went to university in the late 60's &70's tended to marry their age mates.My mum said girls who dated older men or sugar daddies were generally looked down on. All of them started life together from the bottom, when my dad married my mum they did not have a sofa. My mum bought her first brand new car before my dad as she worked in a parastatal and they gave them Car Loan earlier.
Dare say I hypergamy is worse in the younger generation in Nigeria.

There was an 8 year gap between my first serious boyfriend and I. Dami, it was no picnic...........half the time I conversed with his friends in English because I did not want to call 'em brother and many of them took offence citing my lack of manners as they all knew why I conversed in English. Omo, i dunno jare, each to his own.

naijababe:



Two years or so, that is nothing o but 10 years, walahi I will ask questions jare



There was an 8 year gap between my first serious boyfriend and I. Dami, it was no picnic...........half the time I conversed with his friends in English because I did not want to call 'em brother and many of them took offence citing my lack of manners as they all knew why I conversed in English. Omo, i dunno jare, each to his own.

Indeed.. Which is why I say it's down to the actual individuals involved.

I also think anything over 10 years is a bit of a stretch but some people do make it work.

Dami we are old school jare Times have changed.

I'm always tempt to give this one a hard head knock but always hold back coz of his age.(thinking in my head if I can talk like that to my brother of same age). It's somewhat awkward jare compared to our current environment trend. I guess we have to blame it on our culture and upbringing.

tearoses:


Kath is actually older than william

So is Michelle

but that's another topic for another day.

naijababe:



Two years or so, that is nothing o but 10 years, walahi I will ask questions jare



There was an 8 year gap between my first serious boyfriend and I. Dami, it was no picnic...........half the time I conversed with his friends in English because I did not want to call 'em brother and many of them took offence citing my lack of manners as they all knew why I conversed in English. Omo, i dunno jare, each to his own.

8 years , you get liver oh I'm too asha (mouthy) for an older man.

damiso:


Indeed.. Which is why I say it's down to the actual individuals involved.

I also think anything over 10 years is a bit of a stretch but some people do make it work.

Not easy, my hubby and did our masters degrees asoso level in different cities. One time he came visiting and one of my class mates who is married to a guy 15 years her senior at a point told me that she wished she had married someone closer to her age bracket. I asked her why and she said she liked the fact we talked and acted like padis. That was apparently one aspect of her relationship she wished she could change but powerless to do so. Like I said before, each to his own.

Ewuro4:

8 years , you get liver oh I'm too asha (mouthy) for an older man.

It was not the easiest relationship, his youngest sibling was older than me by about two years and expected me to call her sister, imagine o and I never marry her brother..............na so I just vex waka one day jare and to this day he still tells me he he did not believe I was serious when I said I was gonna waka

Dami you're right my parents are 3 years apart too. Infact all my uncles and Aunts married their age mates.

I can't just imagine my son,bringing home one old and wear away cargo as his wife to be,..unless of course. Their wedding is gonna hold when am dead...

The younger the better,the younger the sweeter,the younger the hotter

Let's take our own omotola for example,assuming she got married at this her age,we all know how fat she will look,especially if she now puts to bed...there will be no more beauty in her,or oshiomole and patience jonathan as couple ewwwww...

Ewuro4:
Dami you're right my parents are 3 years apart too. Infact all my uncles and Aunts married their age mates.

Hypergamy or marrying for status as TV on the part of the woman is more prevalent in the younger generation. Of course the older generation saw 'potential' as well but the women at that time did not mind starting from the bottom and building up together.

That said a couple of women in that generation got betrayed after struggling and starting together with their men only for them to be traded for newer models after the men made it or became comfortable

Some maybe the younger generation have just decided to just be the 'newer model' no more 'surulere' Na 'olorunsogo' dey now .

ORALL:
I can't just imagine my son,bringing home one old and wear away cargo as his wife to be,..unless of course. Their wedding is gonna hold when am dead...

The younger the better,the younger the sweeter,the younger the hotter

Let's take our own omotola for example,assuming she got married at this her age,we all know how fat she will look,especially if she now puts to bed...there will be no more beauty in her,or oshiomole and patience jonathan as couple ewwwww...

Lol

Who be dis

damiso:


Hypergamy or marrying for status as TV on the part of the woman is more prevalent in the younger generation. Of course the older generation saw 'potential' as well but the women at that time did not mind starting from the bottom and building up together.

That said a couple of women in that generation got betrayed after struggling and starting together with their men only for them to be traded for newer models after the men made it or became comfortable

Some maybe the younger generation have just decided to just be the 'newer model' no more 'surulere' Na 'olorunsogo' dey now .

Note you are speaking in the context of the westerners

East the gap has always been solid

It's just reducing now...

damiso:


Hypergamy or marrying for status as TV on the part of the woman is more prevalent in the younger generation. Of course the older generation saw 'potential' as well but the women at that time did not mind starting from the bottom and building up together.

That said a couple of women in that generation got betrayed after struggling and starting together with their men only for them to be traded for newer models after the men made it or became comfortable

Some maybe the younger generation have just decided to just be the 'newer model' no more 'surulere' Na 'olorunsogo' dey now .

@bolded,i hear this often from single girls especially those who may have heard stories from moms or aunts.I just don't know if those who seek the 'olorunsogo' are fulfilled at the end of it all.They won't be that 'new model' at some point in time.

TV01:

Yawn - your post queried those who were expending unecessary time and energy on this matter - I responded on behalf of us all. Including you now that you've joined us. Welcome !


Are you regretting your choice ! A 21 year old girl can achieve and acquire way more than a 35 year old - and before she is 35. Or did the 35 year old have all she has at 35 at 21? See your fuzzy thinking. Not that I actually said, anyone should go and marry a 21 year old!

She has to have it all before I even consider dating her. I am not her father so I will not wait and watch her grow up
The only thing we can do is grow old TOGETHER. Since your main criterion is youth, continue raising your wife

My bad, I didn't realise that intelluct is a function of age or experience - or that is the main ingredient of a successful marriage.

No, youth is

You are struggling !
Yes I am 10+ older, and an extremely fit, fully functioning male. I should be potent well into my 70's and beyond. As for dying earlier, that was part of the deal . How can the one who cleans up after you die before you !

On the internet you can be anything

Impotence will come - I will welcome it sef. Even if it doesn't, by the time my wife gets menopausal, I will be willing to relegate sex to a smaller role as appropriate.

Who told you that the woman's libido will decrease after menopause?
It even increases for SOME women after menopause.

And of course my wife was mad desperate to marry me - I'm a catch, and she didn't want to lose me to the hordes of other women that were looking to shunt her from pole position .

I don't need to ask about your situation, but I trust your wife is in great shape after kids and you are a pretty fit bloke yourself. Otherwise my thoughts and prayers are with you .


TV

What a beautiful invention the internet is for people who need some validation.

pickabeau1:


Note you are speaking in the context of the westerners

East the gap has always been solid

It's just reducing now...

Eastern and western Nigeria you mean abi?

Yes I guess so.

thorpido:
@bolded,i hear this often from single girls especially those who may have heard stories from moms or aunts.I just don't know if those who seek the 'olorunsogo' are fulfilled at the end of it all.They won't be that 'new model' at some point in time.

That's why I was telling Pickabeau that children one way or the other imbibe certain values on what they feel the marriage institution should be from the marriage of their parents or older people around them. This could be negative or positive.

As for the olorunsogo bit, that's what happens when marriage turns transactional( what can I get from this union and the men too are not any less guilty) and I wonder too if there will be fulfilment in the long run. I guess what can termed as fulfilment varies from person to person.

At the end of the day though its left to you and your partner to fashion out what you want from your marriage. I have aunties who snicker at the use of the word 'our house' or 'or car' their mantra is never ever ever reveal or share your finances with any man.If you want to buy a house buy it in your name or your kids name(that is a model that I like sha).If he buys a house in Ikorodu you too buy your own in Gbagada. All you keep hearing is 'my house his house'. And I don't blame them to a certain extent. I understand it sef but I will not build a house behind my husbands back. If it gets to that extent where I feel have to do that I think it would be better to stop deceiving ourselves that we are married and just go our separate ways.

Men,

I hope you've read and digested. Please be clear, I am not being prescriptive, not demanding you adhere to my theory or forcing my viewpoint on you. I am merely sharing or at most suggesting possibilities.

My first demand of men has always been that "you take responsibility". Whatever you do, be that you swallow it wholesale, tailor and apply accordingly, or dismiss it out of hand, that’s your right, responsibility though, lies squarely with you.

Having posted part 1, I think I erred in trying to respond to all rejoinders, especially as many were plain strawmen and others driven by vested interests or not really related, or deserving of a response. Following up part 2, I will do two things; 1. Respond to specific worthwhile questions and challenges from men, 2. Coalesce points that are worth expounding on from the wider audience.

But first let me say this; I could shorten this for you and simply say thus; be a God-fearing spirit led man and be sure to marry someone of similar bent. Or this; be a GFSLM and marry a woman who is stongly socialised culturally, or religiously, to honour marriage, and/or is clear that she is willing for, and expects you to lead.

That will work - and work well for some, however, you still have to understand and manage the dynamic to maximise your enjoyment of the marriage. So first up; I'll say a bit more on hypergamy

Ewuro4:
Hmm Hypergamy.. Only a big deal with Nigerians.

damiso:
Hypergamy or marrying for status as TV on the part of the woman is more prevalent in the younger generation.

Believe the above at your peril. Hypergamy is and has been universal. What kept it in check was societal conventions and morés. driven largely by culture and religion.

Hypergamy is not new, has not gone away, is not restricted to peculiar generations of women, or present only in isolated or random countries. What has changed is the morés and conventions keeping it in check.

And not only is it not yet a big deal in Nigeria - although it increasing - the West is the best place to look to see it in all its glory. Feminism has done such a good work that it is now clearly institutionalised - and at play whenever men and women engage.

In a simple sense, hypergamy is just women availing themselves of sex (ideally with the best available men) - leading to children and provision for themselves and said offspring. Historically they got this, but were constrained - as above - from not fulfilling their part of the deal.

They did get provision - and children, and the men got children and sex in a monogamous relationship. Divorce and single motherhood, were frowned upon and stigmatised, and came with at a cost to the woman and her family.

Now a woman can marry you, have children for you and with "no fault divorce" decide she's wants out. And she will be allowed out, and allowed to keep the home you at least in part – if not wholly - paid for, and your children - you will get to keep providing. Deal?

Hypergamy is entrenched in the law - and you are subject to it. Choose wisely. Funny isn't it, divorce and single motherhood are no longer an issue. And why should they be? With hypergamy legally codified, women still get their end of the bargain. You lose.

Not only can she have you forcibly removed from your home, she can prevent you seeing your children - even if the courts order it - and if she decides to be particularly spiteful, have you queried on domestic violence and child abuse allegations.

Historically - and prior to testing being available - we had what was termed "presumed paternity". Any child born to a married couple was presumed to be fathered by the husband. And in the event of divorce, the father as the main provider got custody. Not any more.

Did you know that there are moves afoot to stop presumed fathers DNA testing for confirmation of paternity? Unless they have the mothers permission. Did you know that even if you test and the child is not yours judges can, and have, ordered such men to pay support - in one case even when the childs real father was living with the mother?

On a larger scale, the benefits that single mothers receive, where do you think they come from? Yes, the government - by way of men in the form of taxes. The welfare state is largely a transfer of wealth from men to women and children.

Please choose wisely. Once you are in, she holds all the aces and you've little chance of prevailing if things turn ugly. The women claiming hypergamy ain't a thing are probably well intentioned and great wives I'm sure, but I'm not certain they are best placed to advise men.


TV

damiso:


Eastern and western Nigeria you mean abi?

Yes I guess so.

Yep

TV01:
Go young, young man, go young II

I’ll continue the discussion about age differentials & sex as warranted but I wanted to touch on another reason – possibly even more important - why an appropriate age differential is a good thing.

Status:
Whatever women say to the contrary they typically want to partner with men of higher status. Now, by status, we can mean a number of things, or a multi-faceted thing.

Power, wealth, academic achievement, societal respect or recognition in the main, but not excluding others such as physical attributes, peculiar talents/skills, occupation, etc. Emphasis can be different from place to place, and cultures may stress or favour one or other.

It can mean personality in the short term, but in a marriage type situation, over time, wifey go "see you finish", so a great personality, won't hide character flaws or behavioural problems. Funny, many women fall for personality.

At an individual level, it may also vary dependant on circumstances; so for example, an independently rich woman, may not place as much emphasis on earnings or potential.

Now, status is particularly important to women - and relevant to men - because it informs female attraction.

As a rule, women lose attraction for men who they consider lower status – compounding by the fact that they will typically blame you if they feel they deserve more than you are offering, or they could have done better without you, or with someone different. Regardless of if this is in fact true or not.

When a women starts to think as above, a number of things can potentially happen

1. She will constantly test him and drag headship and otherwise nag and make your life a misery
2. She will be more prone to stray and be receptive to the “higher status” men she comes into contact with
3. You are more likely to be cuckolded
4. In countries where the law favours women, she will be more likely to “Wexit” – wife exit – the marriage using divorce laws – potentially leaving you struggling.

The main exceptions to this rule are women who are well socialised culturally or religiously to always defer to male headship, or for some other reason cannot stray or leave.

But even here, unless they are super so, their disgruntled state will manifest in the union, and it won’t be as happy as it could be. Fact “many unions exist in a state of low level conflict”, your higher status and the respect it engenders can help obviate that.

When a woman truly respects you, you will be able to tell by how she treats you – she’ll look to please you and be sexually responsive (ATBE i.e. health, pregnancy etc.).

As a man, it’s imperative that you are able to provide for your home as much as possible. Not to say your wife cannot make a contribution, but it’s primarily your responsibility.

The easiest way to lose status is to not be able to provide. Women may claim about sexual failings, but they hate nothing more than a “useless” man – one who cannot provide.

Being older, will help you be more established, mature and able to deal with the dynamics of marriage better. You’ll earn more respect and status as your demonstrate long-term visionary and strategic thinking. And hopefully, employ any assets you have to ground the union.

Additionally, there will be a natural respect for an older, more mature, more established man – but you must live up to this as above, and dealing with her wisely.

If anything, I’d say if at all possible, marry a woman who earns less. If economics means you need a high-earning wife, try to increase your income, increase to match, or get a well socialised one. And demonstrate status in other areas.

For example, Tony Blairs wife earned more, but he was PM. If you marry a high earning investment banker and you are highly regarded in academic circles – move from Lecturer to Dr or Prof.

Decipher what women say and what they want. When they say “equality in the marriage”, they don’t want to equally share or stress about provision or financial stability.

They want to claim equal contribution, but be secure that if they wanted to go open a boutique or take 2 year off to raise the kids, they wouldn’t suffer an impaired lifestyle. They want to claim equal decision making, but the buck stops with you if major endeavours go k-legged.

Do chores all you want, but they don’t enhance your status in lieu of the big ticket items. If you lose yourself in her emotions, she will punish you for her feelings. Don’t focus primarily on making her happy, strive to be a good husband and father. And of course God first – and make sure she knows it – Pastor is also status !

TV

i reiterate......which is which?
yetunde bust line vs youngies?

TV be preaching it on here lately.

TV01:
Men,

I hope you've read and digested. Please be clear, I am not being prescriptive, not demanding you adhere to my theory or forcing my viewpoint on you. I am merely sharing or at most suggesting possibilities.

My first demand of men has always been that "you take responsibility". Whatever you do, be that you swallow it wholesale, tailor and apply accordingly, or dismiss it out of hand, that’s your right, responsibility though, lies squarely with you.

Having posted part 1, I think I erred in trying to respond to all rejoinders, especially as many were plain strawmen and others driven by vested interests or not really related, or deserving of a response. Following up part 2, I will do two things; 1. Respond to specific worthwhile questions and challenges from men, 2. Coalesce points that are worth expounding on from the wider audience.

But first let me say this; I could shorten this for you and simply say thus; be a God-fearing spirit led man and be sure to marry someone of similar bent. Or this; be a GFSLM and marry a woman who is stongly socialised culturally, or religiously, to honour marriage, and/or is clear that she is willing for, and expects you to lead.

That will work - and work well for some, however, you still have to understand and manage the dynamic to maximise your enjoyment of the marriage. So first up; I'll say a bit more on hypergamy





Believe the above at your peril. Hypergamy is and has been universal. What kept it in check was societal conventions and morés. driven largely by culture and religion.

Hypergamy is not new, has not gone away, is not restricted to peculiar generations of women, or present only in isolated or random countries. What has changed is the morés and conventions keeping it in check.

And not only is it not yet a big deal in Nigeria - although it increasing - the West is the best place to look to see it in all its glory. Feminism has done such a good work that it is now clearly institutionalised - and at play whenever men and women engage.

In a simple sense, hypergamy is just women availing themselves of sex (ideally with the best available men) - leading to children and provision for themselves and said offspring. Historically they got this, but were constrained - as above - from not fulfilling their part of the deal.

They did get provision - and children, and the men got children and sex in a monogamous relationship. Divorce and single motherhood, were frowned upon and stigmatised, and came with at a cost to the woman and her family.

Now a woman can marry you, have children for you and with "no fault divorce" decide she's wants out. And she will be allowed out, and allowed to keep the home you at least in part – if not wholly - paid for, and your children - you will get to keep providing. Deal?

Hypergamy is entrenched in the law - and you are subject to it. Choose wisely. Funny isn't it, divorce and single motherhood are no longer an issue. And why should they be? With hypergamy legally codified, women still get their end of the bargain. You lose.

Not only can she have you forcibly removed from your home, she can prevent you seeing your children - even if the courts order it - and if she decides to be particularly spiteful, have you queried on domestic violence and child abuse allegations.

Historically - and prior to testing being available - we had what was termed "presumed paternity". Any child born to a married couple was presumed to be fathered by the husband. And in the event of divorce, the father as the main provider got custody. Not any more.

Did you know that there are moves afoot to stop presumed fathers DNA testing for confirmation of paternity? Unless they have the mothers permission. Did you know that even if you test and the child is not yours judges can, and have, ordered such men to pay support - in one case even when the childs real father was living with the mother?

On a larger scale, the benefits that single mothers receive, where do you think they come from? Yes, the government - by way of men in the form of taxes. The welfare state is largely a transfer of wealth from men to women and children.

Please choose wisely. Once you are in, she holds all the aces and you've little chance of prevailing if things turn ugly. The women claiming hypergamy ain't a thing are probably well intentioned and great wives I'm sure, but I'm not certain they are best placed to advise men.


TV

Watch out for part 2

damiso:


That's why I was telling Pickabeau that children one way or the other imbibe certain values on what they feel the marriage institution should be from the marriage of their parents or older people around them. This could be negative or positive.

As for the olorunsogo bit, that's what happens when marriage turns transactional( what can I get from this union and the men too are not any less guilty) and I wonder too if there will be fulfilment in the long run. I guess what can termed as fulfilment varies from person to person.

At the end of the day though its left to you and your partner to fashion out what you want from your marriage. I have aunties who snicker at the use of the word 'our house' or 'or car' their mantra is never ever ever reveal or share your finances with any man.If you want to buy a house buy it in your name or your kids name(that is a model that I like sha).If he buys a house in Ikorodu you too buy your own in Gbagada. All you keep hearing is 'my house his house'. And I don't blame them to a certain extent. I understand it sef but I will not build a house behind my husbands back. If it gets to that extent where I feel have to do that I think it would be better to stop deceiving ourselves that we are married and just go our separate ways.

@bolded should be it.There should be trust and when it is destroyed then both prties have no business being together.I wouldn't stop my wife building a house in her own name but it shouldn't be something she will do behind my back.

damiso:


Hypergamy or marrying for status as TV on the part of the woman is more prevalent in the younger generation. Of course the older generation saw 'potential' as well but the women at that time did not mind starting from the bottom and building up together.

That said a couple of women in that generation got betrayed after struggling and starting together with their men only for them to be traded for newer models after the men made it or became comfortable

Some maybe the younger generation have just decided to just be the 'newer model' no more 'surulere' Na 'olorunsogo' dey now .

Youre right, it's a reigning trend among younger generation (Late 70s-90s group) ... I said this before, the upcoming generation (21st century) will be different this time. Let's wait and see.

TV01... I'm not gonna drag it with you when your our princess introduce her age mate to you as her fiancé, hold your hand back you hear?

Please pray tell me , where and who among public figures in the western world married for financial status except gold-diggers. Royal families dont even marry for status.

It's going extinct and so shall it be.

I've noticed that the word hypergamy has been cropping up a lot here on NL. Female hypergamy isn't just entirely about women marrying older men but refers to the much broader concept of the dualistic nature of the female sexual strategy. That is, the womans attempts in satisfying her need for attracting the most genetically endowed mates for immediate gratification against the need for securing one who can provide for her and her offsprings in the long term.

Men have little to fear really. . . .if you marry a rapacious plague who just wants to extract value from you, it's all on you bro.

Besides, I don't buy all of this 'women holding all the cards' business. Whether or not men admit it, married or divorced or otherwise, women do carry out majority of the parental responsibility so why won't the person who takes care of the kids more get custody more often than not?

Men, in general, earn more, and have become socialised to think they 'should' earn more than their wives - with all the negative effects of women being paid less than men even when doing the same jobs etc.

The reality most men need to face is that there is nothing inherently higher earning about men - at least for most people not involved in physical exertion to earn a living. Your wife earning more/paying a bigger share of bills doesn't necessarily make you less of a 'man' - it's all dependent on your spouse.

If your ego can't handle it, do as TV said and marry a lower paid/lower potential woman, preferably not the type that will leave you and take your hard earned money.

debosky:
Men have little to fear really. . . .if you marry a rapacious plague who just wants to extract value from you, it's all on you bro.

Your first statement sounds contradictory

You say I have nothing to fear yet you say its all on me if I am unfortunate to get a wealth plunderer who uses laws to extract my wealth

That is why I have to fear

debosky:
Men have little to fear really. . . .if you marry a rapacious plague who just wants to extract value from you, it's all on you bro.

Besides, I don't buy all of this 'women holding all the cards' business. Whether or not men admit it, married or divorced or otherwise, women do carry out majority of the parental responsibility so why won't the person who takes care of the kids more get custody more often than not?

Men, in general, earn more, and have become socialised to think they 'should' earn more than their wives - with all the negative effects of women being paid less than men even when doing the same jobs etc.

The reality most men need to face is that there is nothing inherently higher earning about men - at least for most people not involved in physical exertion to earn a living. Your wife earning more/paying a bigger share of bills doesn't necessarily make you less of a 'man' - it's all dependent on your spouse.

If your ego can't handle it, do as TV said and marry a lower paid/lower potential woman, preferably not the type that will leave you and take your hard earned money.

boss...this one that you are posting here, what changed?