Hello i am married to a nigerian man i am a british white girl and the dilema i am having is i am wanting to embrace my husbands culture but my husband is wanting to embrace the british life i dont want this or like this.he likes his nigerian heritage but he does not wear the attire that nigerians wear.i am wanting to wear the beautiful dresses that the nigerian wear but i would feel stupid as my husband does not wear his own nigerian wear.i am wanting to be like a nigerian woman as there beauty both inner and out shines but my husband says he is not wanting a nigerian wife i dont know why i also want my husband to have a 2nd wife is this wrong? we have a beautiful 3 year old daughter she eats all nigerian food like egusi and pepper soup. i want to learn how to cook this but my husband is to scared because i have got fat from eating to much pounded yam and egusi i can eat this all day everyday im addicted to it lol. i want to also learn the yoruba language i can speak the nigerian english no problem.what do you think of aa white woman trying to be like a nigerian wife? is it stupid or should i still keep trying? also please advice me on how to be a great nigerian wife.im very submissive to my husband. in the past i was very stubborn as we are both very different with very different views. i would like my husband to be more romantic to me british men are very romantic and it upsets me when my familys boyfriends/husbands take there partners out and buys them things my husband does not do this atall unless its a fastfood place and that is very rare is nigerian men like this in general as the men here in britain are brought up to worship the woman and cherish respect and to buy them presents and pamper them my husband does not do this atall.but i love him he is my everything i cant fault him in anyway he is my life and a great father i am blessed to have him in my life and we are very lucky to have such beautiful daughter.

Moving thread to romance

mrsabiankem: Hello i am married to a nigerian man i am a british white girl and the dilema i am having is i am wanting to embrace my husbands culture but my husband is wanting to embrace the british life i dont want this or like this.he likes his nigerian heritage but he does not wear the attire that nigerians wear.i am wanting to wear the beautiful dresses that the nigerian wear but i would feel stupid as my husband does not wear his own nigerian wear.i am wanting to be like a nigerian woman as there beauty both inner and out shines but my husband says he is not wanting a nigerian wife i dont know why i also want my husband to have a 2nd wife is this wrong? we have a beautiful 3 year old daughter she eats all nigerian food like egusi and pepper soup. i want to learn how to cook this but my husband is to scared because i have got fat from eating to much pounded yam and egusi i can eat this all day everyday im addicted to it lol. i want to also learn the yoruba language i can speak the nigerian english no problem.what do you think of aa white woman trying to be like a nigerian wife? is it stupid or should i still keep trying? also please advice me on how to be a great nigerian wife.im very submissive to my husband. in the past i was very stubborn as we are both very different with very different views. i would like my husband to be more romantic to me british men are very romantic and it upsets me when my familys boyfriends/husbands take there partners out and buys them things my husband does not do this atall unless its a fastfood place and that is very rare is nigerian men like this in general as the men here in britain are brought up to worship the woman and cherish respect and to buy them presents and pamper them my husband does not do this atall.but i love him he is my everything i cant fault him in anyway he is my life and a great father i am blessed to have him in my life and we are very lucky to have such beautiful daughter.

Sorry l love my culture
But I don't wear the clothes
Your husband failing to wear the clothes should not stop you
I am very sure your mother in-law will be happy to send you Nigeria clothes
You are not trying to be a Nigerian wife but A VERY GOOD WIFE
I think you can start teaching your husband by sending him romantic text msg daily or weekly
hopefully you can get him moving
Second wife for your husband?- That should be a No, No
Second wife will bring a third person into your relationship
There are lot of challenge with third person in any relationship
As a Nigerian or a man we all love that but it come with problem

mrsabiankem: Hello i am married to a nigerian man i am a british white girl and the dilema i am having is i am wanting to embrace my husbands culture but my husband is wanting to embrace the british life i dont want this or like this.he likes his nigerian heritage but he does not wear the attire that nigerians wear.i am wanting to wear the beautiful dresses that the nigerian wear but i would feel stupid as my husband does not wear his own nigerian wear.i am wanting to be like a nigerian woman as there beauty both inner and out shines but my husband says he is not wanting a nigerian wife i dont know why i also want my husband to have a 2nd wife is this wrong? we have a beautiful 3 year old daughter she eats all nigerian food like egusi and pepper soup. i want to learn how to cook this but my husband is to scared because i have got fat from eating to much pounded yam and egusi i can eat this all day everyday im addicted to it lol. i want to also learn the yoruba language i can speak the nigerian english no problem.what do you think of aa white woman trying to be like a nigerian wife? is it stupid or should i still keep trying? also please advice me on how to be a great nigerian wife.im very submissive to my husband. in the past i was very stubborn as we are both very different with very different views. i would like my husband to be more romantic to me british men are very romantic and it upsets me when my familys boyfriends/husbands take there partners out and buys them things my husband does not do this atall unless its a fastfood place and that is very rare is nigerian men like this in general as the men here in britain are brought up to worship the woman and cherish respect and to buy them presents and pamper them my husband does not do this atall.but i love him he is my everything i cant fault him in anyway he is my life and a great father i am blessed to have him in my life and we are very lucky to have such beautiful daughter.

@Op, be yourself. As your husband said, if he wanted a Nigerian woman, he would have married one. He may already have one, but the point is he liked you just the way you were before all this other nonsense.


I used to think why is it that foreign men choose the worse of the worse women to marry then blame it on cultural differences. Now I realize many Nigerian and other foreign men find women who are mentally ill and/or insecure to prey on because those are the only ones who will fall for their shenanigans.

lol i am not mentally ill infact i have many degrees its just that i love the nigerian culture and want the best for my husband and i am not insecure atall i love y body and mind and completly 100%trust my husband

@Op, be yourself. As your husband said, if he wanted a Nigerian woman, he would have married one. He may already have one, but the point is he liked you just the way you were before all this other nonsense.


I used to think why is it that foreign men choose the worse of the worse women to marry then blame it on cultural differences. Now I realize many Nigerian and other foreign men find women who are mentally ill and/or insecure to prey on because those are the only ones who will fall for their shenanigans.

[/quote]

FlowerPower:

@Op, be yourself. As your husband said, if he wanted a Nigerian woman, he would have married one. He may already have one, but the point is he liked you just the way you were before all this other nonsense.


I used to think why is it that foreign men choose the worse of the worse women to marry then blame it on cultural differences. Now I realize many Nigerian and other foreign men find women who are mentally ill and/or insecure to prey on because those are the only ones who will fall for their shenanigans.

I disagreed with you
when you just get off the boat, you need are completely differ
Because of your need you might be at a disadvantage in dealing with lot of people
Secondly your friends or family here can make or break you
The women you called insecured are the women will to meet your need
As you become the six figure man now lot of people will be looking your way

GoodFaith:

I disagreed with you
when you just get off the boat, you need are completely differ
Because of your need you might be at a disadvantage in dealing with lot of people
Secondly your friends or family here can make or break you
The women you called insecured are the women will to meet your need
As you become the six figure man now lot of people will be looking your way

You just proved my point.

@Op many mentally ill people are also very intelligent. However I cannot make any solid assessment about your mental health online. I can only view what you have posted. What I can see is that you are trying so hard to be someone else, that you are neglecting your true self. You want to put on the form of "Nigerian" but at your core you will always be British. You want the Nigerian food, clothing, and language, but you are holding your husband to the standard of the British man when it comes to affection. Instead allow him to get to know your true character and try getting to know his. If you don't, you will grow tired of the fantasy you want and regret your marriage.

FlowerPower:

You just proved my point.

@Op many mentally ill people are also very intelligent. However I cannot make any solid assessment about your mental health online. I can only view what you have posted. What I can see is that you are trying so hard to be someone else, that you are neglecting your true self. You want to put on the form of "Nigerian" but at your core you will always be British. You want the Nigerian food, clothing, and language, but you are holding your husband to the standard of the British man when it comes to affection. Instead allow him to get to know your true character and try getting to know his. If you don't, you will grow tired of the fantasy you want and regret your marriage.

FlowerPower - You have taking this to a differ level
That is the big issue in Nigerian marriages
There are good things in America culture and good things in Nigerian culture
Lot of Nigerian people has a problem balancing the two culture

GoodFaith:

FlowerPower - You have taking this to a differ level
That is the big issue in Nigerian marriages
There are good things in America culture and good things in Nigerian culture
Lot of Nigerian people has a problem balancing the two culture

Keep going. I want to hear you speak on this more.

FlowerPower:

Keep going. I want to hear you speak on this more.

I have lived about 27 year of my life here
As a Nigerian do I want to eat Nigeria food everyday NO
As a Nigerian do I expect my wife to cook everyday NO
I need to take my wife and kids out weekly for lunch or dinner
Do we need to do a vacation every year YES if you have the money Yes
Nigerian men are not good in helping at home--do that need to change Yes
Nigerian women Yes-90% went to take advantage of the America culture if it is to their advantage
When it become disadvantage they want the Nigerian Culture

This is the summary of ur 'problem': You are british and you want to be more Nigerian - and your husband is Nigerian, and wants to be more british.
.
(Give me a second to giggle pls)
.
.
Okay so like everything in marriage, what you want is for both of you to meet each other halfway: you both dress western Mon - Wed, and dress Nigerian Thurs - Sun - or however proportion suits u best.
.
There are a lot of STDs in the world 2day - r u sure u want him gettin a 3rd wife? Especially considering the fact that the wife could end up being the unfaithful type?
.
Many wives is not our tradition, and you really dont want that.

GoodFaith:
I have lived about 27 year of my life here
As a Nigerian do I want to eat Nigeria food everyday NO
As a Nigerian do I expect my wife to cook everyday NO
I need to take my wife and kids out weekly for lunch or dinner
Do we need to do a vacation every year YES if you have the money Yes
Nigerian men are not good in helping at home--do that need to change Yes
Nigerian women Yes-90% went to take advantage of the America culture if it is to their advantage
When it become disadvantage they want the Nigerian Culture

You are a man with a good head on his shoulders.

FlowerPower:

You are a man with a good head on his shoulders.

I am a man and live in the Midwest

GoodFaith:
I am a man and live in the Midwest

Your wife is blessed .