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White Woman Dilema by mrsabiankem: 3:54pm On Jan 09, 2014 |
Hello i am married to a nigerian man i am a british white girl and the dilema i am having is i am wanting to embrace my husbands culture but my husband is wanting to embrace the british life i dont want this or like this.he likes his nigerian heritage but he does not wear the attire that nigerians wear.i am wanting to wear the beautiful dresses that the nigerian wear but i would feel stupid as my husband does not wear his own nigerian wear.i am wanting to be like a nigerian woman as there beauty both inner and out shines but my husband says he is not wanting a nigerian wife i dont know why i also want my husband to have a 2nd wife is this wrong? we have a beautiful 3 year old daughter she eats all nigerian food like egusi and pepper soup. i want to learn how to cook this but my husband is to scared because i have got fat from eating to much pounded yam and egusi i can eat this all day everyday im addicted to it lol. i want to also learn the yoruba language i can speak the nigerian english no problem.what do you think of aa white woman trying to be like a nigerian wife? is it stupid or should i still keep trying? also please advice me on how to be a great nigerian wife.im very submissive to my husband. in the past i was very stubborn as we are both very different with very different views. i would like my husband to be more romantic to me british men are very romantic and it upsets me when my familys boyfriends/husbands take there partners out and buys them things my husband does not do this atall unless its a fastfood place and that is very rare is nigerian men like this in general as the men here in britain are brought up to worship the woman and cherish respect and to buy them presents and pamper them my husband does not do this atall.but i love him he is my everything i cant fault him in anyway he is my life and a great father i am blessed to have him in my life and we are very lucky to have such beautiful daughter. |
Re: White Woman Dilema by Fulaman198(m): 4:09pm On Jan 09, 2014 |
Moving thread to romance |
Re: White Woman Dilema by GoodFaith: 4:23pm On Jan 09, 2014 |
mrsabiankem: Hello i am married to a nigerian man i am a british white girl and the dilema i am having is i am wanting to embrace my husbands culture but my husband is wanting to embrace the british life i dont want this or like this.he likes his nigerian heritage but he does not wear the attire that nigerians wear.i am wanting to wear the beautiful dresses that the nigerian wear but i would feel stupid as my husband does not wear his own nigerian wear.i am wanting to be like a nigerian woman as there beauty both inner and out shines but my husband says he is not wanting a nigerian wife i dont know why i also want my husband to have a 2nd wife is this wrong? we have a beautiful 3 year old daughter she eats all nigerian food like egusi and pepper soup. i want to learn how to cook this but my husband is to scared because i have got fat from eating to much pounded yam and egusi i can eat this all day everyday im addicted to it lol. i want to also learn the yoruba language i can speak the nigerian english no problem.what do you think of aa white woman trying to be like a nigerian wife? is it stupid or should i still keep trying? also please advice me on how to be a great nigerian wife.im very submissive to my husband. in the past i was very stubborn as we are both very different with very different views. i would like my husband to be more romantic to me british men are very romantic and it upsets me when my familys boyfriends/husbands take there partners out and buys them things my husband does not do this atall unless its a fastfood place and that is very rare is nigerian men like this in general as the men here in britain are brought up to worship the woman and cherish respect and to buy them presents and pamper them my husband does not do this atall.but i love him he is my everything i cant fault him in anyway he is my life and a great father i am blessed to have him in my life and we are very lucky to have such beautiful daughter.Sorry l love my culture But I don't wear the clothes Your husband failing to wear the clothes should not stop you I am very sure your mother in-law will be happy to send you Nigeria clothes You are not trying to be a Nigerian wife but A VERY GOOD WIFE I think you can start teaching your husband by sending him romantic text msg daily or weekly hopefully you can get him moving Second wife for your husband?- That should be a No, No Second wife will bring a third person into your relationship There are lot of challenge with third person in any relationship As a Nigerian or a man we all love that but it come with problem 1 Like |
Re: White Woman Dilema by Nobody: 4:30pm On Jan 09, 2014 |
mrsabiankem: Hello i am married to a nigerian man i am a british white girl and the dilema i am having is i am wanting to embrace my husbands culture but my husband is wanting to embrace the british life i dont want this or like this.he likes his nigerian heritage but he does not wear the attire that nigerians wear.i am wanting to wear the beautiful dresses that the nigerian wear but i would feel stupid as my husband does not wear his own nigerian wear.i am wanting to be like a nigerian woman as there beauty both inner and out shines but my husband says he is not wanting a nigerian wife i dont know why i also want my husband to have a 2nd wife is this wrong? we have a beautiful 3 year old daughter she eats all nigerian food like egusi and pepper soup. i want to learn how to cook this but my husband is to scared because i have got fat from eating to much pounded yam and egusi i can eat this all day everyday im addicted to it lol. i want to also learn the yoruba language i can speak the nigerian english no problem.what do you think of aa white woman trying to be like a nigerian wife? is it stupid or should i still keep trying? also please advice me on how to be a great nigerian wife.im very submissive to my husband. in the past i was very stubborn as we are both very different with very different views. i would like my husband to be more romantic to me british men are very romantic and it upsets me when my familys boyfriends/husbands take there partners out and buys them things my husband does not do this atall unless its a fastfood place and that is very rare is nigerian men like this in general as the men here in britain are brought up to worship the woman and cherish respect and to buy them presents and pamper them my husband does not do this atall.but i love him he is my everything i cant fault him in anyway he is my life and a great father i am blessed to have him in my life and we are very lucky to have such beautiful daughter. @Op, be yourself. As your husband said, if he wanted a Nigerian woman, he would have married one. He may already have one, but the point is he liked you just the way you were before all this other nonsense. I used to think why is it that foreign men choose the worse of the worse women to marry then blame it on cultural differences. Now I realize many Nigerian and other foreign men find women who are mentally ill and/or insecure to prey on because those are the only ones who will fall for their shenanigans. |
Re: White Woman Dilema by mrsabiankem: 4:34pm On Jan 09, 2014 |
lol i am not mentally ill infact i have many degrees its just that i love the nigerian culture and want the best for my husband and i am not insecure atall i love y body and mind and completly 100%trust my husband @Op, be yourself. As your husband said, if he wanted a Nigerian woman, he would have married one. He may already have one, but the point is he liked you just the way you were before all this other nonsense. I used to think why is it that foreign men choose the worse of the worse women to marry then blame it on cultural differences. Now I realize many Nigerian and other foreign men find women who are mentally ill and/or insecure to prey on because those are the only ones who will fall for their shenanigans. [/quote] |
Re: White Woman Dilema by GoodFaith: 4:38pm On Jan 09, 2014 |
FlowerPower: I disagreed with you when you just get off the boat, you need are completely differ Because of your need you might be at a disadvantage in dealing with lot of people Secondly your friends or family here can make or break you The women you called insecured are the women will to meet your need As you become the six figure man now lot of people will be looking your way 1 Like |
Re: White Woman Dilema by Nobody: 5:24pm On Jan 09, 2014 |
GoodFaith: You just proved my point. @Op many mentally ill people are also very intelligent. However I cannot make any solid assessment about your mental health online. I can only view what you have posted. What I can see is that you are trying so hard to be someone else, that you are neglecting your true self. You want to put on the form of "Nigerian" but at your core you will always be British. You want the Nigerian food, clothing, and language, but you are holding your husband to the standard of the British man when it comes to affection. Instead allow him to get to know your true character and try getting to know his. If you don't, you will grow tired of the fantasy you want and regret your marriage. |
Re: White Woman Dilema by GoodFaith: 5:52pm On Jan 09, 2014 |
FlowerPower: FlowerPower - You have taking this to a differ level That is the big issue in Nigerian marriages There are good things in America culture and good things in Nigerian culture Lot of Nigerian people has a problem balancing the two culture |
Re: White Woman Dilema by Nobody: 6:15pm On Jan 09, 2014 |
GoodFaith: Keep going. I want to hear you speak on this more. |
Re: White Woman Dilema by 190daclown: 6:17pm On Jan 09, 2014 |
I must make FP this time weda una like am or not - once it gets there i'd be back to re-edit |
Re: White Woman Dilema by GoodFaith: 6:25pm On Jan 09, 2014 |
FlowerPower:I have lived about 27 year of my life here As a Nigerian do I want to eat Nigeria food everyday NO As a Nigerian do I expect my wife to cook everyday NO I need to take my wife and kids out weekly for lunch or dinner Do we need to do a vacation every year YES if you have the money Yes Nigerian men are not good in helping at home--do that need to change Yes Nigerian women Yes-90% went to take advantage of the America culture if it is to their advantage When it become disadvantage they want the Nigerian Culture 1 Like |
Re: White Woman Dilema by benedicton: 6:33pm On Jan 09, 2014 |
This is the summary of ur 'problem': You are british and you want to be more Nigerian - and your husband is Nigerian, and wants to be more british. . (Give me a second to giggle pls) . . Okay so like everything in marriage, what you want is for both of you to meet each other halfway: you both dress western Mon - Wed, and dress Nigerian Thurs - Sun - or however proportion suits u best. . There are a lot of STDs in the world 2day - r u sure u want him gettin a 3rd wife? Especially considering the fact that the wife could end up being the unfaithful type? . Many wives is not our tradition, and you really dont want that. |
Re: White Woman Dilema by Nobody: 6:40pm On Jan 09, 2014 |
GoodFaith: You are a man with a good head on his shoulders. |
Re: White Woman Dilema by GoodFaith: 6:44pm On Jan 09, 2014 |
FlowerPower:I am a man and live in the Midwest |
Re: White Woman Dilema by Nobody: 7:55pm On Jan 09, 2014 |
GoodFaith: Your wife is blessed . |
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