Heartbroken? Sorry about that bro. I hope you're all better now?

Alhamdulilah, im healed. Thanks dear brother.

Empiree:
Alhamdulilah, im healed. Thanks dear brother.

Heartbroken? Is your expectations on something too much? Everything can disappoint except Allah the ever-living, the sublime, the most powerful.

May He suffice you brother. Cheers

AlBaqir:

Heartbroken? Is your expectations on something too much? Everything can disappoint except Allah the ever-living, the sublime, the most powerful.

May He suffice you brother. Cheers

Word. Long time bro albaqir.

kazlaw2000:

Word. Long time bro albaqir.

Salam alayk my brother. Long time jare. How are you, family and work.

AlBaqir:


Salam alayk my brother. Long time jare. How are you, family and work.

Alhamdulillah. We are all fine.Welcome back.

AlBaqir:

Heartbroken? Is your expectations on something too much? Everything can disappoint except Allah the ever-living, the sublime, the most powerful.

May He suffice you brother. Cheers

Indeed.............Ameena

Salaam Alaikum brothers & sisters. Need your inputs here. I am not getting satisfactory responses so far on this matter.

It is about a friend of mine. A Muslim and his family also Muslim. According to him, his dad married 5 wives. His mom is amongst the first 3 wives but his dad had separated from them over 20yrs ago. So basically his first 3 wives live world apart but the other two wives live with his dad. All children grew up together under same roof with their dad. So there is no issue with children.

His dad also took care of children of the last two wives(from their previous marriages) who lived with him. He favors these children(5 of them) over his children especially against the top children who are now grown and in their 30s-40s. At least 2 of 5 children from another fathers have married and have 1 or 2 children each. They age 24 and 30. Pretty younger than his own children. These children also live in the same man's property instead their own father's house. They have been living with him since 5yrs old.

The problem is, according to my friend, his father doesn't care about whether they get married or not. He never asked them. But anytime other family members, extended or not including those 5 children he took care of from childhood, he readily attended to them and their needs. He was quick to go to their weddings, spent and did as he wished for them. But not his children. He also has habit of blackmailing his children to just anybody especially those children from 3 wives he sent away. He reveals their secrets and whereabouts to 'outsiders'.

His first child who is now in his 40s married in 2007, his father put up a fight with him and blackmailed him in the presence of his in-laws. He doesnt even recognize them as in-laws. He simply talks trash about his children. He did the same thing with his second son who is also in early 40. He just married 2yrs ago. He puts up fight with him as well. As for ladies(his daughters) who are in their late 30s, he simply did not ask them about husband. He ridicules them a lot. So these ladies went out and married off themselves with little to no approval from him. Only their mothers were aware. These girls have children now.

Seeing these, my friend and his brother who are also in their 30s have decided to go ahead and marry whoever they want. My friend even said he doesn't want his dad to be there. He doesnt want him know his in-laws at all bcus of his attitude. Bear in mind that his father is a learned religious man. How come he misses the sunnah and Islamic injunctions in this matter. I am short of words and I really can't advise this guy at all. What bothers me is his father is now even taking care of grandchildren from another men(grand-in-laws). He worries so much about those kids who are now grown up and have their children live with him. But he doesn't care a bit about his own children. What sorts of nonsense is this?.

I am really searching for answers for this guy. Please dont mix this up with my earlier post when i said I was heartbroken. It has absolutely nothing to do with that. Any idea?

Note: This is not a case of whether their father like his children choice of wives or husbands. This appears to be a case of not wishing anything good for his kids.

Empiree:
Salaam Alaikum brothers & sisters. Need your inputs here. I am not getting satisfactory responses so far on this matter.

It is about a friend of mine. A Muslim and his family also Muslim. According to him, his dad married 5 wives. His mom is amongst the first 3 wives but his dad had separated from them over 20yrs ago. So basically his first 3 wives live world apart but the other two wives live with his dad. All children grew up together under same roof with their dad. So there is no issue with children.

His dad also took care of children of the last two wives(from their previous marriages) who lived with him. He favors these children(5 of them) over his children especially against the top children who are now grown and in their 30s-40s. At least 2 of 5 children from another fathers have married and have 1 or 2 children each. They age 24 and 30. Pretty younger than his own children. These children also live in the same man's property instead their own father's house. They have been living with him since 5yrs old.

The problem is, according to my friend, his father doesn't care about whether they get married or not. He never asked them. But anytime other family members, extended or not including those 5 children he took care of from childhood, he readily attended to them and their needs. He was quick to go to their weddings, spent and did as he wished for them. But not his children. He also has habit of blackmailing his children to just anybody especially those children from 3 wives he sent away. He reveals their secrets and whereabouts to 'outsiders'.

His first child who is now in his 40s married in 2007, his father put up a fight with him and blackmailed him in the presence of his in-laws. He doesnt even recognize them as in-laws. He simply talks trash about his children. He did the same thing with his second son who is also in early 40. He just married 2yrs ago. He puts up fight with him as well. As for ladies(his daughters) who are in their late 30s, he simply did not ask them about husband. He ridicules them a lot. So these ladies went out and married off themselves with little to no approval from him. Only their mothers were aware. These girls have children now.

Seeing these, my friend and his brother who are also in their 30s have decided to go ahead and marry whoever they want. My friend even said he doesn't want his dad to be there. He doesnt want him know his in-laws at all bcus of his attitude. Bear in mind that his father is a learned religious man. How come he misses the sunnah and Islamic injunctions in this matter. I am short of words and I really can't advise this guy at all. What bothers me is his father is now even taking care of grandchildren from another men(grand-in-laws). He worries so much about those kids who are now grown up and have their children live with him. But he doesn't care a bit about his own children. What sorts of nonsense is this?.

I am really searching for answers for this guy. Please dont mix this up with my earlier post when i said I was heartbroken. It has absolutely nothing to do with that. Any idea?

Note: This is not a case of whether their father like his children choice of wives or husbands. This appears to be a case of not wishing anything good for his kids.

I also know of a similar case. In this case, both father and mother seems not to want their first born, a male to marry. And they have been playing all sorts of antics to that effect. The most annoying thing is how most Islamic preachers(alfas) will readily castigate this brother as not pleasing his parents quoting aayaats and hadiiths on kindness to parents. And not a word on his parents' unkindness.
My advise is for the children to put their trust in Allaah and perhaps forget he (their father) exists, except to continue to show him the mandatory kindness Allaah has ordained. If Allaah sees any good in their father, perhaps he would realise his error before he dies.

^JazakaAllah Khayran. I am sick of hearing parents behave like this. Very sickening.

Empiree:
Salaam Alaikum brothers & sisters. Need your inputs here. I am not getting satisfactory responses so far on this matter.

It is about a friend of mine. A Muslim and his family also Muslim. According to him, his dad married 5 wives. His mom is amongst the first 3 wives but his dad had separated from them over 20yrs ago. So basically his first 3 wives live world apart but the other two wives live with his dad. All children grew up together under same roof with their dad. So there is no issue with children.

His dad also took care of children of the last two wives(from their previous marriages) who lived with him. He favors these children(5 of them) over his children especially against the top children who are now grown and in their 30s-40s. At least 2 of 5 children from another fathers have married and have 1 or 2 children each. They age 24 and 30. Pretty younger than his own children. These children also live in the same man's property instead their own father's house. They have been living with him since 5yrs old.

The problem is, according to my friend, his father doesn't care about whether they get married or not. He never asked them. But anytime other family members, extended or not including those 5 children he took care of from childhood, he readily attended to them and their needs. He was quick to go to their weddings, spent and did as he wished for them. But not his children. He also has habit of blackmailing his children to just anybody especially those children from 3 wives he sent away. He reveals their secrets and whereabouts to 'outsiders'.

His first child who is now in his 40s married in 2007, his father put up a fight with him and blackmailed him in the presence of his in-laws. He doesnt even recognize them as in-laws. He simply talks trash about his children. He did the same thing with his second son who is also in early 40. He just married 2yrs ago. He puts up fight with him as well. As for ladies(his daughters) who are in their late 30s, he simply did not ask them about husband. He ridicules them a lot. So these ladies went out and married off themselves with little to no approval from him. Only their mothers were aware. These girls have children now.

Seeing these, my friend and his brother who are also in their 30s have decided to go ahead and marry whoever they want. My friend even said he doesn't want his dad to be there. He doesnt want him know his in-laws at all bcus of his attitude. Bear in mind that his father is a learned religious man. How come he misses the sunnah and Islamic injunctions in this matter. I am short of words and I really can't advise this guy at all. What bothers me is his father is now even taking care of grandchildren from another men(grand-in-laws). He worries so much about those kids who are now grown up and have their children live with him. But he doesn't care a bit about his own children. What sorts of nonsense is this?.

I am really searching for answers for this guy. Please dont mix this up with my earlier post when i said I was heartbroken. It has absolutely nothing to do with that. Any idea?

Note: This is not a case of whether their father like his children choice of wives or husbands. This appears to be a case of not wishing anything good for his kids.

Strange things happen in this world my brother...

How can a man be soo pissed with three wives at once? Preferring women who were previously married, with children?? And even if this happens, why should he extend the anger to his own children??

I almost thought "maybe those biological children aren't behaving responsibly"; but then, I thought again, "how can ALL the biological children be irresponsible and ALL those adopted be responsible?"

Are you sure one of the two 'chosen' wives didn't use dark ways to distort the man's thinking to their own favour? Oogun abenu gongo! I never believed that these (fetish) things happened o, but recently, my viewpoint has changed, based on things I've personally confirmed.

My advice to the children is to pray for Allah to show their dad the right path. They should do this persistently, and give plenty sadaka. They shouldn't give up, for this is NOT natural, and they're at the receiving end of this loss. They're receiving crumbs (in affection, finance etc), where they should be getting the most. Allah is capable of clearing any confusion, whatever the case might be. HE will assist them.

JazakaAllah khayran. I thought of dark ways too but I just don't want to put much emphasis on that and I didn't suggest that to him either.

What most of the children are doing now is keep their things away from him. But he's always curious to know what they are up to. Once he knows he passes info to his young wives and 'outsiders '. This is very problematic. Alaroka are very dangerous.

The reason my friend revealed the whole thing to me recently was bcus of leaked info by his brother and sister and his mom. My friend lives the State over 10 yrs now and has not visit nija since. Not bcus he has no kpali. No. He's citizen. Some yrs back his mom and dad adviced him to start building a small house to fall back on. He honestly did not have anything to do with his dad in that respect cus I think the man has natural bad behavior only known to the children. They knew that from day 1.

Anyways he listened to them and started the project. It was supposed to be modem bungalow but when the house got to lintel level, his dad advised him to raise it upstairs since he's still working. And that the house will always be there and more space, 2 in 1 house bla bla bla.

My friends sensed this is a good advise. But he's always skeptical though. So when the house got to lintel, he paid for decking since May 2014. Besides, he already spent close to 5m just to lintel level. But he didn't care. He just wanted the house complete. During those times, his sister notice the way papa spends money. Papa has gf besides the last 2 wives. He got gf after he equipped money from his son.

My friends said he brushed aside criticism of his dad. That he can't act on unsubstantiated information. Decking cost 1.4m which he paid for since last yr and he expected it done after Ramadan break. But no no no. Instead his dad asked for 3m for this and that on his house. ...like govt wants him to pay this and that nonsense. He believed him and sent 3m. Decking was finally done a month ago. That's a year after he paid for it. According to his dad, decking could not be done until 3m was paid. His sister warned him about dad spending on a lady and some guys who introduced "biz" to him. The guys are scammers but he didn't know.

Then his younger brother who rarely talked to him realized it's time to talk. He called his brother in the states and informed him of everything. It was then my friend believes what his sister and mom have been saying. He said 3 people can not be lying over same thing. He asked his dad to take pix of the house and send them to him but he never did.

His brother went to the site it was decking level and all that but consider the amount be already spent and that could have completed decking, roofing, fence and even plaster at least. That 3m was spent for fun. It's gone down the drain.

Still my friend tried to man up. He quickly paid half of blocks etc including labor needed for 2nd floor. His dad said it would finish in 3 days. That was a week before Ramadan (2015) was over. 2 weeks later he called his dad to confirm if block work was done? . His dad said of course. My friend summoned his brother to go to his site to confirm. His brother returned with pix of just decking. No block work on decking. That's when he was pissed off and cutoff communication with his dad. He then came to me for advise. He's really running mad crazy now.

Now he wanted to go home unnoticed and do something crazy. I told him to calm down. I sought advice from "properties section". And in fact the brothers there are familiar with such situation. They said he needs to calm down first. And be assured he can't get his money back. And he should not sue his dad or fight him. Just go home and collect your property related documents and fire him forever.

When I told my friend he said "I know people are going to tell me to calm down. I don't want to calm down. I want to teach him a lesson. Does he think I'm here joking in the street of NY?". I said calm down my friend. U going to start smoking and drinking if u continue like this. Few days later he sent me attached pic.

I screamed at him. ...pls don't do anything funny. I want him calm down a lot before he travels. He's calm quiet bit. Indeed this is worth forgetting a father. Very evil and silly

@empiree, I would strongly advise the brother not to start a fire he cant quench. He should just walk away quietly and keep the man at arms length. As for the mans curiousity, that can be tackled by an halal disinformation strategy. I strongly believe the man will live just long enough to regret his actions.

kazlaw2000:
@empiree, I would strongly advise the brother not to start a fire he cant quench. He should just walk away quietly and keep the man at arms length. As for the mans curiousity, that can be tackled by an halal disinformation strategy. I strongly believe the man will live just long enough to regret his actions.

wow. ...handsome advise. Your advise and hajj mufu of properties section mod are identical. That's what many adviced too. I don't even want him travel alone cus he could change his mind on his way. He's cooling off now.

lol women overpowered and resisted an Israeli IDF scum who was maltreating a boy with a broken arm



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CrrbyGtNfEg

^ I hate those scum nitwits

Hadith Of The Day

Picture Of The Day

Hadith Of The Day

Picture Of The Day

Hadith Of The Day

Picture Of The Day

Hadith Of The Day

Picture Of The Day

Hadith Of The Day

Picture Of The Day

Inna lilahi waina ilahi rajiun

A brother passed away in NYC last Saturday. He was a nyc cab driver. He's Nigerian. Was told this evening he passed away while driving. As described a by a sister, the brother was driving and saw death (as in sign). He quickly parked his car along roadside and breath his last.

NYC police quickly rushed to the scene but he was pronounced dead

Empiree:
Inna lilahi waina ilahi rajiun

A brother passed away in NYC last Saturday. He was a nyc cab driver. He's Nigerian. Was told this evening he passed away while driving. As described a by a sister, the brother was driving and saw death (as in sign). He quickly parked his car along roadside and breath his last.

NYC police quickly rushed to the scene but he was pronounced dead

May Allah ward off his shortcomings and maximize his good deeds. My condolences.

^ Ameena

Hadith Of The Day

Picture Of The Day

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hE68wf2Qimg








https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fciZrDUSZlI

^^^ Jazaakumullah khairaan.