ITbomb: Rubbish, instead let's fine a way and stop white wedding, after the traditional wedding, the priest or Pastor should pray for the couple at the reception then they go and get registered at the court.

Awesomeness
Thank you!

ITbomb: Rubbish, instead let's fine a way and stop white wedding, after the traditional wedding, the priest or Pastor should pray for the couple at the reception then they go and get registered at the court.

Thank U very much... How can we abandon our culture over another people's...I prefer Trad wedding millions of times to white wedding

sebyluv: This is sooooo true. I don't think d traditional rites shud b necessary anymore. If we have decided to embrace d xtian or muslim religion as most of us have, den our religious rite shud b enuf. it doesn't even make sense dat after d trad, couples r still not allowed by dr churches to have sex until dey r wedded in church. Away with all ds Senseless Trad rites and on with our Simple Church weddings.

LOL
Dude....Mother Africa weeps for this post
Colonialism on display
Chai

obongproff:

Ur a very big fool. Someone is making a very good point and u hav d guts to call it 'rubbish'. Ur a very very big fool! U have very low and poor thinking. Shame on you.

Foolish me, I shouldn't have posted such comment where obongprof would see, I'm so ashamed.
How I wish I could see any of his high and rich thinking.

Vikthor:

Where are u from sweety?

Kogi state. But the tradition is peculiar to my own communal clan.

babyud:
Abeg where u come from?

I'm from Kogi state. But it is not all communal clans and tribes in Kogi that practice this o.

lawkenoz:
Where you got it wrong bro was where you said the white wedding isn't a white mans thing, claiming its a christian thing. You obviously don't know history, Christianity isn't culture and did not create the white weddings.
Marriage is an agreed union between couples (family members inclusive), you got it right when u said Jesus attended a traditional wedding ceremony, but not because it was what was attainable then. Marriage is carried out in different modalities by different cultures, religion only comes into marriage based on how a husband and wife should treat each other after being married by their cultural standards e.g husband love your wife, wife love your and be sub missive to your husband. It doesn't dictate on how marriage should be carried out or performed, traditions are responsible for that.
The white wedding is the white mans way of doing marriage, they started practising xtainity early so as a result adopted their marital pattern into it. On bringing the religion to africa they also brought that style of wedding to us, trust our girls as usual, because of the reception show off they fell in love with it head over heels.
A pastor should attend the traditional union of his members and bless them there if need be. Only If your religious enough to want to do a white wedding then its your choice, but mind you its not a Christian wedding! Its a white mans wedding. The presence of the pastor there is just to bless and bear witness to the union as a man of God! He could do the same in a traditional wedding!

In life,I've learned to make excuses for reasons why things happen; that way, you save yourself from the hassles of arguing whats right n whats wrong. I said "Oh yes, pls people should stop taking white wedding for its name. I wanna think that it's actually Church/Christian wedding but done with the bride wearing white, not necessarily that it's the white man's tradition." It means i agreed its white man's tradition, but should not be seen as so but as some church/christian occasion where the bride wears white. That way, we no go fight put on top of the matter. If you didnt see it this way, i apologise for misconstruing the info.

As for the bolded, even men use it to boost their ego and show off. Lol
Let's not deviate from the mata.
Poster asked is it time to end trad wedding rites, i'll say no, BuT to the extent that the rites themselves are checked somhat those rites wont turn to extortion.

beejaay:

abeg i wan con marry for your town...shee u go marry me

Na so e easy to marry? Abi apart from bride price u no go spend money again ni?

Anugod:
Na so e easy to marry? Abi apart from bride price u no go spend money again ni?

which money i go spend again?? sebi u dey work and i dey work too...na to combine nah

mencade5: abeg whichtribe and state r u from?

Wow...na im be say those ur isiters go make sense oooo.

I'm Igala, from Kogi. Funny u, u wan come my tribe cos of bride price. Na only bride price dem dey spend to marry? If u can spend to make ur wedding classic, wetin come b bride price?

beejaay:
which money i go spend again?? sebi u dey work and i dey work too...na to combine nah

So it must b 50:50 abi? If u con jam wife wey no dey work nko? U go still spend na

Left to me,traditional marriageand court will do. Yet to understand what wedding stands for abi bc of wedding gown and suit?
Black man mentality. Imitating everything white.
I'm yet to see indians do second marriage or wedding after their traditional marriage.

Simple;black man hate himself with passion hence d copy copy.

Anugod:
I'm Igala, from Kogi. Funny u, u wan come my tribe cos of bride price. Na only bride price dem dey spend to marry? If u can spend to make ur wedding classic, wetin come b bride price?

no be so na, but na the way them take value money too much dey fear me.

Male i pm you?

Anugod:
So it must b 50:50 abi? If u con jam wife wey no dey work nko? U go still spend na

i go teach her how to work i no fit jam wife wey go like sleep lae lae wen den no swear 4 me

sebi u dey work abi

For u guys that want to avoid paying bride price you are just day dreaming. Our culture cant be wished away. No brideprice, no wedding

shaggy007:

Ok. I have edited it.

much better.

btw aboki = friend

mallam / almajri = muslim

PAGAN 9JA:


much better.

btw aboki = friend

mallam / almajri = muslim

Malam actually means a teacher or an educated man.

Almajiri means a youthful scholar (which isn't the case today).

CongoleseQueen: [s]Marriage has an important significance in every society. In African societies, there are three marriage ceremonies, traditional, court and white. The traditional marriage is the most important of all three. It’s not just a celebration of unbinding love between two individuals – it’s the creation of a deep union between two families and communities.

Before the celebration of most traditional marriages, the groom’s family must present the bride’s family with goods, as requested by the elders in her clan. Money, property, shoes, clothes, food, jewelry, electronics and other accessories are examples of some of these goods. They often vary, depending on each family.

As an individual who was raised in a home centered around culture, I fully understand the importance of traditional practices. However, I have struggled with grasping the reasoning behind some of these practices. I recall having a conversation with a friend about the process of traditional marriage. She once told her mom that she was not interested in receiving a bride price. She is all for having a traditional wedding, but refuses to participate in a ceremony that she feels is unnecessary. Her mom was certainly not pleased with her request. In fact, she informed her that it wasn’t a decision that lied in her hands. It had already been decided for her the moment she was born. While I do see where her mother is coming from, I don’t think she should be forced to adhere to a custom that doesn’t apply to her as an individual. If anything, it should be a choice.

Personally, I want to have a traditional wedding because I want to celebrate my culture. But I do not agree with some of the details associated with having a traditional marriage. I am on the fence about my family demanding a bride price. I am just not sure where I stand on that particular issue. I am more induced by the celebratory and cultural aspect of a traditional marriage. Afterall, isn’t that what truly matters?

I fully get the symbolism behind receiving a bride price. It is a practice that has been in place for centuries. However, is it still relevant to our society? I know that this statement will probably give every tribal chief a panic attack, but it is a valid question. Everytime I think of the bride price, I remember the song “Matata Ya Mwasi Na Mobali Esila Te (Marital Problems Will Never End)”, where Franco Luambo sings, “soki na keyi ko traiter ba affaire, nazongi na lingi na pema, akomi ko tuna nga, ozalaki wapi? O uti wapi? Ba lobaki boye — mwasi na bala na mosolo, nani a pesi ye authorisation a tuna nga epayi na uti?” He is pretty much saying that a woman he married (paid for) is not authorized to ask him any questions regarding his whereabouts. It is a reminder that I am being purchased by someone.

In 2004, activists from Nigeria, Uganda, Kenya, Tanzania, Senegal, Ghana, Rwanda and South Africa gathered in Kampala for the International Bride Price Conference to discuss ways of eliminating its practice in Africa. Quite frankly, I don’t think it is a good idea to get rid of it completely. I simply think that people should not be forced to participate. It should be optional.

A single African country can have anywhere from five to two hundred tribes, and each tribe carries its own customs. With so many rituals in place, individuals who come from the same country, but belong to different tribes, are not encouraged to marry. This is not a progressive way of thinking. If these traditions aren’t creating unified sense of belonging, why are Africans still holding on to them?

Scandal Actress, Kerry Washington, recently had a child with a Nigerian man. Due to her husband’s tradition, they had to wait eight days before naming their child. In his culture, a child is named in an official naming ceremony a week after birth. During a conversation with a Nigerian friend, I mentioned that story, and he had no idea such a tradition ever existed. According to him, these things vary from tribe to tribe. This is an issue found throughout the entire continent. Each tribe or ethnic group holds on to its own customs and refuses to welcome or appreciate those found in other regions.

For many Africans, the rise of inter-tribe and inter-Africa marriages is a sign that tribal disputes have ended. That’s like saying, inter-religion marriages have ended religious wars and disputes. It couldn’t be further from the truth. Tribal fighting is still an ongoing problem in Africa. Africans are still committing atrocious acts of violence towards one another due to tribal differences. A friend of mine once said that Africans are always complaining about how badly they were treated by Europeans, but refuse to acknowledge the fact that they are doing the same thing to each other.


Inter-tribe and inter-Africa marriages are becoming more popular due to Western influence. Most Western societies encourage cultural diversity and tolerance. Africans who have been exposed to it tend to become more open. The average African, living within the borders of Africa, would prefer to marry a person from their tribe. In fact, they have zero interest in knowing what goes on in other regions.

South Africa was listed as one of the world’s most multilingual countries. The average South African can speak or understand all of the country’s main languages. This is a great strategy towards creating a sense of unity and belonging within its frontier. It is a fantastic way of promoting cultural diversity.

In conclusion, before we start advocating for a “united Africa”, let’s first encourage a “united Congo”, “united Nigeria”, “united Sudan” and so forth. Africans love culture. That is what makes our continent so beautiful. However, it’s very difficult to genuinely appreciate the culture when it is playing key role in dividing our people. Africans hold traditional practices very close to their hearts, as they have been passed on from generation to generation. Change is not something most of us are quick to accept, but if we are working towards a unified and progressive Africa, accepting cultural diversity and tolerance is the right way forward.

source: http://afri-culture.com/african-traditions-in-todays-society-is-it-time-to-put-an-end-to-traditional-wedding-rites/[/s]

Jesus Christ Attended a traditional wedding rite not a foreign type

beejaay:
i go teach her how to work i no fit jam wife wey go like sleep lae lae wen den no swear 4 me

sebi u dey work abi

Lol

Realdeals:
What is bad in this, must we always adopt the white mentality, why can we do things the way we want? why can't the white adopt our own way of life?
RUBBISH!!!

And yet we imported & adopted the white wedding as ours

its funny how the whites who are better off economically will do only the church and court wedding while we in Africa that are struggling will import the extra burden of a white wedding along with our traditional and court wedding

Abroad, the bride's parents contributes majorly to the wedding and sometimes out-rightly sponsors it. wonder why we left that part out.

Why cant we do away with the white wedding & face our culture?

We go just dey copy without sense & end up making the simplest things difficult.

Life shouldn't be that hard i swear

Fulaman198:

Malam actually means a teacher or an educated man.

Almajiri means a youthful scholar (which isn't the case today).

haba I know now. im just giving him stereotype names to replace "aboki".

lol @ youthful scholar

it is actually derived from Al Muhajir = migrants from Mecca/islamic religious migrants. for example muslim refugees in other states are usually referred to as muhajirs.

Bride-price needs to be abolished. The other traditional marriage rites can remain.

@ op, i see reason with your point of view. The right to choice is inherent and free, it is in-built before our birth, inalienable and must be held strong in one's pursuit of happiness. To tag along and be inflexible in matters where choice determines the direction of our happiness is to please another. I see no joy in such submission only control. In closing it is sound to rehash your point that people should if it makes them happy CHOOSE to pay the bride price or be FREE to say our CHOICE is different. Bravo.

Foool

Abiagirl777:

the thing dey vex me well well.
I did my trad since may but i can't stay wit him cos i hav to attend a 3 month marriage course in my husby's church b4 white wedding.
They hav done de 1st preg. Test and still told me i'll come back for anoda one 1 wk b4 de wedding.
If not for God,hmm

I , you must be in love...you mean you went through such insults...?

How can we say traditional marriage is superior. But we undermine it with conscious craze.

THE WAY EVERYBODY TAKE DEY FIRE OUR "DRUNK" OP, I AM VERY SURE HE LL NEVER TASTE ALCOHOLIC DRINK AGAIN B4 CREATING A THREAD NXT TIME.

Litmus: You can always tell a Bush-Person, they are the ones that think that traditional culture is primitive. I notice, ironically, that in Nigeria it is often the cultured middle classes that value tradition while it is the underclasses or pretentious newly monied classes that elevate western culture above African ones. They think eating spaghetti and potato is the height of civilization and sneer at those that eat eba and soup. At home if they condescend to tackle eba and soup, they want to do so with knife and fork and yet give them ice water they probably blow at it being unable to differentiate between hot and cold.

Gbam!!!!! May you live long and thrive....

cannonnier: ours is especially cheap. A bride can wed for free if she wish. Money is a matter of ability, and whatever is paid goes to the bride's pocket, (it's her's). And ofcourse there is limit(something around 15k maximum). As I said earlier, ABILITY; if the groom wishes he can pay a MILLION.

I'll love an extensive study of how it happens. I have no idea how it goes otherwise.

ITbomb: Rubbish, instead let's fine a way and stop white wedding, after the traditional wedding, the priest or Pastor should pray for the couple at the reception then they go and get registered at the court.

God bless you !

DesChyko:

I'll love an extensive study of how it happens. I have no idea how it goes otherwise.

that will be really welcomed. But. You should get some credible sources. I recommend thee Islam for muslim here on NL. Just create a thread, there will be enough people you will here from.

LaRoyalHighness: This op has a point. ... However, our tradition is important but I detest the bride price and long list given to the man. I thank God for the man that I married... because that list the gave him can even make someone to run away. I bless God for him as he has already decreed that our son's in law won't be given any list .

Dear Ma,
I hereby apply for the role of your son-in-law.
I am a graduate of priceless primary school. I am in my second year in the junior secondary school. A very hardworking guy who is known by all for his industrious nature. this is undoubtedly evident in my ability to always hawk for my mum after returning from school every day.
if given the golden opportunity, I promise not to ever stress your lovely daughter, nor make her to ever have to lift a finger. I shall work for all her needs till the end of the earth.
kindly let me prove my humble nature to you by giving me your daughter just for 2 days. I can promise you wont have to say #bringmygirlback. By the way, I am in my early tenths, 12 years old to be precise.
I shall await your favorable response via a pm.

sincerely your-soon-to-be son inlaw
Ebele Fortune