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Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? - Family (10) - Nairaland

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Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by sleekman(m): 8:10pm On Jul 05, 2014
Honestly, I feel if a man doesn't want a child he shouldn't be forced 2. If a mother wants 2 keep d child and d father doesn't then d mother must bear d brunt or put him/her up 4 adoption. There are thousands of couples seeking d fruit of d womb that will give d child d financial, moral and loving care he/she deserves. I believe once this is done women wouldn't just open their legs anyhow or insist on protection b4 d deed. Better still 2 safeguard demselves they can sign 'pre-sex' agreements' if they are exclusive couples. Its about time men start championing 'menism'.
Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by coogar: 8:10pm On Jul 05, 2014
donnypool:

well it is quit fair, if she cannot bear the pain for 9 months, well she cant. The law in todays society favors female more. If it was in the past generation, she wont be having sex like its an achievement

the law doesn't have to be fair to be enforced. the law once backed slavery - does that make it fair back then? put the law aside for a moment and apply logic.

a man's control ceases even before fertilization. he cannot control anything once his seeds are out. the woman can still take pills and if she's too religious, it then begs the question - why was she having premarital sex?

even if she's against abortion, there's still an option.....instead of making the poor bloke look irresponsible, why not just give up the child for adoption & spare the man the hassles?
Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by ablyguy(m): 8:12pm On Jul 05, 2014
...
Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by gebest: 8:12pm On Jul 05, 2014
DONT U KN ABORTION IS A CRIME, WELL TAKE HEART SHAL, I KNO SAY UR HUSBAND DON ARRANGE ANOTHER WOMAN 4 OUTSIDE ND SHE REFUSED TO ABORT IT, NOW DAT SHE HAS PUT TO BED SHE IS NOW DISTURBING UR HUSBAND 4 MONI 4 D UP KEEP OF D BABY.
Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by Nobody: 8:20pm On Jul 05, 2014
coogar:

the law doesn't have to be fair to be enforced. the law once backed slavery - does that make it fair back then? put the law aside for a moment and apply logic.

a man's control ceases even before fertilization. he cannot control anything once his seeds are out. the woman can still take pills and if she's too religious, it then begs the question - why was she having premarital sex?

even if she's against abortion, there's still an option.....instead of making the poor bloke look irresponsible, why not just give up the child for adoption & spare the man the hassles?

Not everybody want to give away their child for adoption, because it doesnt guarantee good life for the child. using simple logic makes me understand that, women call the shot when it comes to child issues/parenting. so as a guy, use all birth control method including combining both withdrawal method plus wearing of protection method.
Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by Doyensky: 8:20pm On Jul 05, 2014
E be lyk say op don impregnate pesin... I pity d babe sha, na OYO she dey
Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by Nobody: 8:23pm On Jul 05, 2014
Sophyrocks:
If i were you, i will make google my friend before its too late before God shames you with that your prayer. Haba!! Why are you such a learner?? Using withdrawal method in this day and age and believing there will be no pregnancy? Chai!!! Ignorance is bliss. Get educated Dude!
What are you on about? Like I mentioned earlier, I trust my withdrawal method - which I always use even with a condom firmly in place". . . .thereby ensuring a double-level safeguard against B.S, even though we all know that NO method of contraception is 100% fool-proof.

Meanwhile, don't be so quick to smugly presume that you're the most "educated" person in the room. I believe you'll find the information below quite 'educating', and realise that the withdrawal method is not exactly a waste of time (let alone when used with a condom!).


How Effective Is Withdrawal?

Effectiveness is an important and common concern when choosing a birth control method. L[b]ike all birth control methods, the pull out method is much more effective when you do it correctly.[/b]
- Of every 100 women whose partners use withdrawal, 4 will become pregnant each year if they always do it correctly.
- Of every 100 women whose partners use withdrawal, 27 will become pregnant each year if they don't always do it correctly.

Couples who have great self-control, experience, and trust may use the pull out method more effectively. Men who use the pull out method must be able to know when they are reaching the point in sexual excitement when ejaculation can no longer be stopped or postponed

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-info/birth-control/withdrawal-pull-out-method

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It's not that pulling out doesn't work in principle—it's that it is challenging to pull out just right every single time. Condoms and the pill aren't so different that way— they're great in a world where we always use them perfectly—but the reality of our lives is often busy, complicated, and not so perfect. Still, pulling out is a lot better than nothing—in fact, it's nearly as effective at preventing accidental pregnancy as condoms alone.
http://bedsider.org/features/310
Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by Cecediva(f): 8:24pm On Jul 05, 2014
Thank God am still a virgin,dis topic is not for me ...off to football thread
Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by pickabeau1: 8:24pm On Jul 05, 2014
ok...

are u saying Roe v Wade was about abotion of r@pe product.. grin

Hmmmm.....
EnlightenedSoul:

You're not understanding.
I'm not side-stepping. That isn't a feminist argument.

Everyone has their own opinion, including feminists which is why you'll find varying ideas on the topic. The issue of abortion rights initially came about to challenge the notion that a women need carry a raaapist's child and raise it if she cannot or does not want to.

Feminism is about the RIGHT. The ideas behind that right are the person's own.
Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by coogar: 8:27pm On Jul 05, 2014
donnypool:
Not everybody want to give away their child for adoption, because it doesnt guarantee good life for the child. using simple logic makes me understand that, women call the shot when it comes to child issues/parenting. so as a guy, use all birth control method including combining both withdrawal method plus wearing of protection method.

that's the point i want you to make.....
i can now rest my case!
Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by cigie(m): 8:28pm On Jul 05, 2014
pro01: Yimu. All this one na story. I trust my withdrawal method, and it has never failed me in my long 'career'. I always withdraw at the point of no return - even with a condom firmly in place. If the toto like make e sweet pass saccharin. No chance of any yeye pregnancy. No time for stories that touch.

You can't foist an unwanted pregnancy on me; that was not part of the bargain when we had consensual sex.
My man, you must be very skilled
Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by Nobody: 8:31pm On Jul 05, 2014
ablyguy:

Abeg don't deride my 'pewee' oh. It's a sophisticated tool that will be used to birth generations of smart fellas. So, it deserves a huge dose of respect, even from you, savvy!!!

You still haven't answered my question. Marriage is not meant for the 'Do' and it has to be done for 90 percent of the world population.

Irresponsibility is a matter of perception. For me and so many of the men, irresponsibility is when a man, after finding he's lacking in both financial and mental responsiblities needed to bring up a child went ahead to have the child. In fact, it's a failure as a man for the man. It's what they are trying to prevent when they suggest to the lady to abort the child. So, you see, nobody should be allowed to impose his/her own version of responsibility on another person, no matter the circumstance. That's my own grouse with the topic. What people choose to do with their lives don't concern me...

I have already answered your 1st question so any decision you take in life, you must be ready for the consequences.

As for your version of irresponsibility, thats up to you. But in the end, make sure you live with the consequences as i said earlier. Dnt do the 'Do' if you cnt do the time oooooo. If you know you advocate for abortions, do not be a huge hypocrite to criticise ladies for aborting numerous babies for different men after all not all relationships lead to marriage. If you find out your fiancee has aborted a lot, take it like that ooo. Shebi una want empty wombs? Oya oooo. Make una dey abort dey go. All y'all will end up with ladies without wombs! Kpomkwem. I am a huge advocate of forcing men to take responsibilities!!!
Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by Nobody: 8:33pm On Jul 05, 2014
coogar:

that's the point i want you to make.....
i can now rest my case!

You are hereby dismissed. Sir to have some beer
Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by pickabeau1: 8:34pm On Jul 05, 2014
grin grin grin grin grin grin
egopersonified: Guy meets girl, have sex, girl gets pregnant, guy asks girl to abort, girl refuses, therefore guy not liable for the child. Ok oh, what if d guy contacts HIV frm d girl, I hope he will abort it from his system, mtcheeeeeew.
Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by Nobody: 8:37pm On Jul 05, 2014
coogar:
i just realised you have not even answered the question. what if(hypothetically speaking) your methods fail you one day and she gets pregnant. you asked her to take morning after pills and all sorts, she refused to do that and she saw the baby to term without any agreement with you......should the courts force you to pay child support calculated based on your income?
Oga, my methods would never fail me, so I can't even bring myself to hypothesize about such an utterly objectionable eventuality. Sorry o grin

Then again, in the context of Nigeria, I don't think any court can "force" any man to pay child support. Even where a court makes such a pronouncement, its implementation would almost always never happen. We'll only have to depend on the scruples, goodwill, and 'paternal instinct' of this your hypothetical man (not me o) to contribute to his (illegitimate) child's wellbeing.
Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by Nobody: 8:40pm On Jul 05, 2014
pro01:
No chance. Your evil prayer will go unanswered. I'll only have a child when I want to, and with whom I want to. Can I get a loud amen?
Aaaaamen
Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by Nobody: 8:41pm On Jul 05, 2014
pro01:
What are you on about? Like I mentioned earlier, I trust my withdrawal method - which I always use even with a condom firmly in place". . . .thereby ensuring a double-level safeguard against B.S, even though we all know that NO method of contraception is 100% fool-proof.

Meanwhile, don't be so quick to smugly presume that you're the most "educated" person in the room. I believe you'll find the information below quite 'educating', and realise that the withdrawal method is not exactly a waste of time (let alone when used with a condom!).


Can you see what you showed me on that link? Can you see it now? You have 100% faith in something that doesnt guarantee 100% protection. Do you see the statistics? I am sure it is even more than that because assumptions are still made in that link and we dnt know of cases in Nigeria. Thats a foreign case. The statistics could be higher. I have heard many stories of the inefficacy of withdrawal method. You no dey fear for stds fa? How about stds that get transmitted with condoms on? Stds that need just your s*c*r*otum or pubic hair to touch a private part? You know them?

Continue withdrawing oooo. Life throws a lot of sh1t you aint ready for most times. Life aint fair. Get ready oooo since your overconfidence seems to be your savior for now. Life will surprise you. Even God will not save you.
Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by Nobody: 8:43pm On Jul 05, 2014
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Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by coogar: 8:48pm On Jul 05, 2014
pro01:
Oga, my methods would never fail me, so I can't even bring myself to hypothesize about such an utterly objectionable eventuality. Sorry o grin

amen!
keep slaughtering -may your knife never know any bluntness. grin


Then again, in the context of Nigeria, I don't think any court can "force" any man to pay child support. Even where a court makes such a pronouncement, its implementation would almost always never happen. We'll only have to depend on the scruples, goodwill, and 'paternal instinct' of this your hypothetical man (not me o) to contribute to his (illegitimate) child's wellbeing.

i think this topic is talking about the men living abroad who are getting screwed with ridiculous laws that force them to part with their hard-earned money on something they never wanted.
Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by pickabeau1: 8:49pm On Jul 05, 2014
grin grin grin grin grin grin


bad guy//but that child may be your saving grace

pro01:
Oga, my methods would never fail me, so I can't even bring myself to hypothesize about such an utterly objectionable eventuality. Sorry o grin

Then again, in the context of Nigeria, I don't think any court can "force" any man to pay child support. Even where a court makes such a pronouncement, its implementation would almost always never happen. We'll only have to depend on the scruples, goodwill, and 'paternal instinct' of this your hypothetical man (not me o) to contribute to his (illegitimate) child's wellbeing.
Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by Abbiewyse: 8:50pm On Jul 05, 2014
I don't know how some guys use their brain. You shud knw the consequences of unprotected sex. Just stand up to ur responsibilities..Who knows what the child will become tomorrow.
Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by Nobody: 8:51pm On Jul 05, 2014
fresh_dude: Aaaaamen
Yezzir. . .my homeboy. You see how these lasses want to foist gbese on a man's head? God no go gree. Abi I resemble Tuface?
cigie:
My man, you must be very skilled
Bro I'm still a learner oh. It's never a good idea to get carried away by momentary pleasure and shoot carelessly. . .you would only end up scoring an own goal
Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by coogar: 8:53pm On Jul 05, 2014
Abbiewyse: I don't know how some guys use their brain. You shud knw the consequences of unprotected sex. Just stand up to ur responsibilities..Who knows what the child will become tomorrow.

the child could become an obama or the child could be dumped in a rotten gutter on the streets of lagos after the mother must have realised taking care of a child isn't child's play. the chance of the latter happening is 20 times bigger than the former.
Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by Nobody: 8:56pm On Jul 05, 2014
swag loverss: If a man tells woman to get an abortion and she refuses, why should he be forced to pay child support?

For instance, a man impregnated a woman and decides that he is not mentally, physically or financially able to support a child and tells the mother to go get an abortion and the woman refuses, why should the man have to pay child support?.

I mean if a woman decides to keep the baby, that's her decision, not the man's. The man made it clear that he didn't want the child then why should he have to take care of the child since it was the woman who wanted to keep it and not him?

A very complicated and emotional subject.

#1 A Man should never "tell" a Woman what to do with her body. That being said a reasonable Woman who has a moral upbringing will never stoop so low as to force a Man to take care of an unwanted child. Unfortunately the society that we live in today rewards immoral behaviors.

#2 A Man that is not mentally, physically or financially able to support a child should not be sleeping with a Woman due to the risk of pregnancy. On the same token no Woman should be sleeping with said Man, so it's a two way street.

#3 It is a known fact here in the US that athletes are a preyed upon by scandalous Women who harvest their sperms from used condoms so that they can get pregnant and then collect child support http://mediatakeout.com/33625/wanna-be-a-ballers-baby-mama-woman-claims-to-have-harvested-sperm-from-unknowing-nba-allstars-and-shes-now-selling-it-details-inside.html

#4 Paying child support doesn't mean that you then get to have a relationship with a child. There are some immoral Women that collect child support but have used the courts to stop the father from hang a relationship with the children.

#5 Paying child support does not mean that the money is going towards care of the children. There are records of immoral Women who collect child support, have no job but yet live in upscale community, drive fancy cars, etc The money doesn't 100% go to the children. Dione Sanders was ordered to pay $10,000 a month in child support - tell me what one child needs $10,000 per month to live on?

Children should not be used as pawns in a game, adults need to act like adults. The future of the world is in doubt based on the vast amount of these children (tomorrows leaders) who are from disfranchised families. The leader of the free world, Barrack Obama is from a broken family. That he made it is mostly a fluke. Many other children from such families end up becoming druggies, prostitutes, etc

I was once in a relationship with a Lady once who receives child support but sends it back to the Father. When I asked her why, she said the Father told her that he did not want to have anything to do with the pregnancy. Her family forced her to go to court and she got child support but has always been sending back the money. She did not want him to contribute to the child. In my mind she is a hero and the true definition of feminism.

1 Like

Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by XKZ(m): 8:56pm On Jul 05, 2014
swag loverss: If a man tells woman to get an abortion and she refuses, why should he be forced to pay child support?

For instance, a man impregnated a woman and decides that he is not mentally, physically or financially able to support a child and tells the mother to go get an abortion and the woman refuses, why should the man have to pay child support?.

I mean if a woman decides to keep the baby, that's her decision, not the man's. The man made it clear that he didn't want the child then why should he have to take care of the child since it was the woman who wanted to keep it and not him?


This is the most irresponsible statement I've heard since Year2000 (from someone who is not a politician).
Please, how old are you?

If a man is so sure he doesn't want children he shouldn't have sex or go get a vasectomy. He has no right to be making irrational demands when the horse has left the barn.
Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by Nobody: 8:58pm On Jul 05, 2014
swag loverss: If a man tells woman to get an abortion and she refuses, why should he be forced to pay child support?

For instance, a man impregnated a woman and decides that he is not mentally, physically or financially able to support a child and tells the mother to go get an abortion and the woman refuses, why should the man have to pay child support?.

I mean if a woman decides to keep the baby, that's her decision, not the man's. The man made it clear that he didn't want the child then why should he have to take care of the child since it was the woman who wanted to keep it and not him?

Stupid thinking. All you have his sperm. no pain involve in discharging sperm. A lot of pain in giving birth. A lot of pain even in abortion and risk in losing her womb. You impregnate a lady, you bear the consequences. you cant eat your cake and have it
Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by ablyguy(m): 8:58pm On Jul 05, 2014
..
Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by fennels007(m): 9:02pm On Jul 05, 2014
Why penetrate
Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by cococandy(f): 9:03pm On Jul 05, 2014
Even though I'm pro choice,I do not think abortion is something that should be seen as common place and neither should a man proffer it as a solution to a lady he impregnated if that's not what she wants.
It's a huge decision and one she has to make because she wants to and not because the man wants her to.
Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by Nobody: 9:05pm On Jul 05, 2014
ablyguy:

Read my question again. You didn't answer it. You can't tell a business man not to board airplanes because of plane crashes. It's not feasible and he won't listen to you. Yes, I'm ready for the consequences of my actions and no one should dictate to me how I should deal with it.

Ask for forcing men to take your own version of responsibility, well, good luck with that. Whether you'll be successful is left for the gods to decide. But I do know for certain that the more you force them, the more they'll strongly resist you...

You dnt want to accept my answer! thats your cup of garri.

Thats why i will keep sounding it to your hearing whether you like it or not. IF YOU CANT DO THE TIME, DONT DO THE 'DO'!!! Thats exactly what dictation of responsibility is telling you. Common Sense!!!
Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by Nobody: 9:06pm On Jul 05, 2014
coogar:

isn't this the case for every unwanted pregnancy or why are you double speaking? a woman has the control of reproduction, the man has fewer choices to manoeuvre. he has just about 2 contraceptive measures - a woman has about 20. if she gets pregnant & sees the baby to term without agreeing with her partner to keep it, then she should take all responsibility for that child.

the issue of child support is flawed in every way. the fact that it's open to all kinds of fraud is enough justification for it to be completely scrapped. women have been using pregnancy to trap men long before any of us here was born - should a man also pay when women lie that they are on birth control pills just to get the man to put his seeds in her?

No it is not the case of every unwanted pregnancy. There are women and men who make no mention of any precaution. They just have careless sex. In contrast, there are men who make precaution but the woman fails to act thus being careless. Because a woman is foolish does not mean the man should suffer the child. When dealing with human life there has to be that consideration that shows your human side. You cannot simply put a child in the bin because you did not want it. Surely in life there are situations that require us to sacrifice our wants.

1 Like

Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by Nobody: 9:06pm On Jul 05, 2014
fennels007: Why penetrate

grin lol

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