TV01:
It's a lie.

We have good men and good women. It's a little harder to sort the wheat from the chaff these days. But those who are appreciative of their own worth, place high value on marriage, know what is required to be good spouse, set their expectations correctly and refuse to compromise are loving the fulfillment marriage brings.

Try and be among !


TV

Love this sir

Godson201333: ..........I guess you just typed out ya post cos of frustration

you're 100% right...
I see it as a Lamentation of a Desperate House wife as a result of fraustration.

who has time this age for a professional, lazy house wife?

f-u-c-k satan!

Lazy men, they won't take corrections. No man go see ma one naira chop, except d man dey drop, err....mee.... Lai-lai o!

softsparkyy:
They always use to be into business.
IMPORTER AND EXPOTER........lol

ABEG come import me oo

Dnt mind them,they always think when a woman stays at home,shes a liability,even if she is,is the job of the man to carry it, women like carefree will work to buy anything for man shior.Na dem type dey make man lazy,when God actually created them to be very energetic to carry full responsibilities.

delishpot:

And what is wrong with that?

Its a lie you invented,am a full home maker and enjoying it, i only take care of my babies and cook,and clean,and sometimes,maids take over.

johnwell:

you're 100% right...
I see it as a Lamentation of a Desperate House wife as a result of fraustration.

who has time this age for a professional, lazy house wife?

f-u-c-k satan!

Now i know the origin of woman slavery is from the bible,if you go to some parts of Africa,Zimbabwe,uganda,south africa etc and eastern parts of Nigeria,women do farming like slaves and most of their men stay at home drinking.

bukatyne:

Definition of respect

/rɪˈspɛkt/

noun

1. Noun: respect; plural noun: respects
a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.

2. Verb
admire (someone or something) deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities, or achievements

Should deep admiration be felt for my hubby only because he earns more than me?

Nowhere did the Bible (I assume you are a Christian) say a man is the head because he earns more than the wife or because he is the breadwinner. The only scripture that ties 'men' to breadwinning is
1 Tim 5:8 King James Bible
But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

Then again, remember II Cor 5:17 King James Bible
Therefore if any man [be] in Christ, [he is] a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

Is the man in II Cor 5:17 here referring to only 'men'? Afterall, we do not have sisters in KJV etc.

Look at the qualities of the Virtuous woman (emphasis on the bolded)

Proverbs 31:10-31King James Version (KJV)

10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.

22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.

23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.

31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.


P.S.: And why will a husband respect his wife (Let us assume she is an housewife and have no income)

Sorry for the long post

It is a lie,why not face reality,theres no man that will see his wife working fulltime and still provide for her,av not seen one.

zeongeon: The TRUTH is that some men off this era are screwing up big time..they depend on women, lazy about and the disgusting path is that there so laid back being gold diggers and looking up to women..that's why you see them making request for sugar mummy, insisting a gal must be working or must be from a rich home...I think I am begining to believe what my shihan(martial arts master) told me, that many real men that where suppose to pass down manly values to younger men who would in turn pass it to d coming generation of men died during the second world war.

A man shouldn't give up on his responsibility because of the so called gender equalility..A man should stick to his God giving role as Leader, Provider and Protector even the body physique of men even tells there created for the Leadership, Provider and Protector role..

God didn't call on Eve when there was a problem He called on Adam.WHY?? For even God saw man as a Leader who is to protect, provide and Lead..God expects men to be who the women and children of the society look up too.

You really wonder why our fore fathers and men of the past where respected , worshipped and even women where happy to be third and fifth wives..its because the Men then where seen as leaders, they where able to protect and provide for there families and the women and children looked up to HIM.

A man isn't a man because he has a big dick and a man doesn't have to go about announcing his a man like some men off these days do rather His actions speaks for him that he is a MAN.

I would want to advice men to forget about gender equality rubbish and function in there God given specified role..God made us Men and no matter what a woman does in the name of gender equality she can't alter and isn't suppose to even alter the roles of a man and hence a woman can't be a Man and a Man can't be a woman and Vice versa.

A real Man regardless of what equality says will strive to fulfill his role as man by Leading his family, providing for his wife even if she is a CEO or Manager or earns more than he does He should still be giving her monthly personal and home upkeep allowance, he should be able to protect her and also put her in her place if d need arises example caution her or scold her if there is need for it.

Its sad but true u don't expect a woman to respect u and make the kids look up to u if u don't fulfill LPP: Leadership, Protection and Provision.

Some Men are using equality to excuse there laziness and that shouldn't be d case for a society where Men aren't fulfilling there role is set for doom and damnation.

Leadership+Provision+Protection= MAN.

uplawal: Now i know the origin of woman slavery is from the bible,if you go to some parts of Africa,Zimbabwe,uganda,south africa etc and eastern parts of Nigeria,women do farming like slaves and most of their men stay at home drinking.

Come, did i hear you say eastern part of Nigeria?! You are a conscienceless lair! Igbo men are the ones that slave for their women more than any other part of Nigeria. Get some education before u come here to type what you don't know.

uplawal: It is a lie,why not face reality,theres no man that will see his wife working fulltime and still provide for her,av not seen one.

I have seen many one of which is my dad and most men in my family. In my family men marry there wife's well.

uplawal: Now i know the origin of woman slavery is from the bible,if you go to some parts of Africa,Zimbabwe,uganda,south africa etc and eastern parts of Nigeria,women do farming like slaves and most of their men stay at home drinking.

And what is slavery in a wife working to contribute to the home or am I missing something?

According to your logic, working wives are slaves?

carefreewannabe:

Don't act like it made sense to you

The issue with his write up is that he wants to teach his niece to be a wife which is good (But unfortunately, she is only going to be married to one man so what happens to the rest of her life)?

ihedinobi2:

I'll start with the text I colored. This is not an argument that I have with you or anybody here. If you know any place where I have expressed the opinion that a man needs to earn more than his wife to be respected by her, by all means produce it. As far as I'm concerned, nothing you have written pertaining to who earns more than the other is addressed to me so forgive me for choosing not to respond to it.

You have subtly hinted at it (I am not the first poster here with that idea, that says something)

Now, my interest is this claim of yours that nowhere in the Bible is the man named the head of the woman because he is the breadwinner. I totally agree. What the Bible does, at least, imply is that being the head he is the breadwinner as well. And you have pointed out the governing Scripture that clearly enunciates that. I think it is rather interesting that you should regard "man" in that portion of Paul's letter to Timothy as corresponding to "man" in his other letter to the Corinthians. It is interesting considering that the context has women in it too.

Which context has women, please show it

I also find rather interesting and adequate your mention of Proverbs 31. Did you perchance notice the man in it and what that passage says of him? Why does his heart safely trust in his wife? Why is he described as "known in the gates when he sitteth with the elders of the land"?

Does him trusting his wife & sitting at the gate make him the breadwinner? Should a wife not trust her husband?

Two more things and this post will be done. Respect per your definition is admiration that results from an ability etc. If your husband is able by himself to cater for you and your little ones, do you consider that admirable?

It is not part of what is admirable in a husband to me (I not saying it is not admirable). Anybody can provide; my parents did that before I was independent; me earning my own pay places me in that position too

Second, you said that it is only that place in 1 Timothy that the Bible attributed breadwinning to men. Let's assume you're indeed right (it really isn't, but since I know of no other place with the same obviousness, I won't push it), do you know of any place where it does attribute breadwinning to the woman? Like I said, I can give you multitude places that would require commentary to show that indeed the Bible places breadwinning at the man's door, so if you give me any place that you have to explain to show me that women have the same duty, I will only answer you with counter-interpretations as well.

I was actually saying that Paul did not attribute breadwinning to men alone in that passage else other passages with 'men' will have spoken to men alone. Nowhere was breadwinning attributed to the woman alone. My point is that no where was breadwinning attributed to one sex alone. I would like to see the passages that lay breadwinning solely at the husband's door

Sorry this is coming late

ihedinobi2:

Thought I should share this with you though:

www.nairaland.com/1114515/christian-chatbox-sticky/440#24566516

It's a study on Proverbs 31:10-31. I'll edit this post to include the link later.

I went to the link to enable me quote your post. Thanks for the acknowledgement


The virtuous woman is what the Proverbs 31 woman is called. She is nothing short of amazing. And she is powerful, economically speaking. The Bible does not mince words in describing her economic ability. This woman "perceiveth that her merchandise is good". She's got everything planned and everyone provided for. Her husband does not lose sleep over the well-being of his household. He is confident in her ability to take care of the house.

But you need to note too that he "is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land". That is a very significant statement. Back in Bible times when this proverb was written, city councils were held at the gates of the city and there were prominent "statesmen" known as the elders of the land whose words were held in high esteem. A council held without them meant very little indeed. And this woman's husband is numbered among them. This tidbit is so important that if you don't get it, you'll ruin the whole economic rights issue.

One example of such a man was Boaz, King David's great-grandfather (Ruth 4:13-17). You'll note that he was a stupendously wealthy man as well as a wise and kind man. You'll need to read the whole book of Ruth (it's a short book of four chapters, never fear) to really get why he is called wise here. Another example was Job whose testimony of himself was that he was a colossus among his people. We all know that Job was the wealthiest man among his people and the most righteous too. Whether he was a fictitious character or not actually doesn't matter, what matters is the concept that people of those times held in their minds about the elders in the gates and Job was wealthy, wise and a defender of the weak (Job 29:7-25). The general characteristics of men who sat in the gates among the elders and were known, that is, respected and held in high esteem, were that they were not men of meagre means; they were wise and they were defenders of the weak.

This is the sort of man to whom the Proverbs 31 woman is seen to be married. Do you see why it makes no sense that increased financial ability for a man should translate into idle consumptiveness for his wife? The Proverbs 31 woman is said to not eat the bread of idleness. She knows how to manage and, wait for it, increase her hubby's wealth.

If you are getting a bit impatient now and wondering where we start talking about rights, hold your horses just a bit longer, please. You see, rights are only one side of a coin whose other side is responsibility. Remove responsibility and it isn't right that we are talking about, it's just abuse.

Having said that, it is obvious that the Bible takes for granted that the woman is free to pursue her economic interests. The thing to note here is that these interests are not in isolation from her responsibilities as the mother of a home and wife of a man. You can see how the two are woven together. The husband's heart "doth safely trust in her". He's not afraid for the condition of the finances of his house. He knows that wifey can handle and is handling them just fine. She's "considering businesses and buying them or into them", she's making good merchandise, she's not wasting time on idle chitchat, rather she's finding new opportunities to expand the family's holdings. In those times of need, she doesn't worry because her house is well provided for. All her work and endeavor ensures that the wealth that her husband brings in is not only put to good use but it is even further increased.

Obviously, this kind of woman would put a lot of the women who rip their homes apart because of a career to shame. This is because she's obviously achieving what they want to achieve and keeping her marriage and a sublime home into the bargain.

Yes, the question does arise whether every man can be like the Proverbs 31 man. They sure can but they aren't all like him. Like this amazing Proverbs 31 woman, he too is hard to find. But it takes a man like him for a woman like her to blossom. Consider it, whatever may be said about gender inequality and whatnot, hardly any serious player in any sector of an economy would treat the wife of a powerful man shabbily because she's a woman when she tries to do business with him. She and he are one. You insult her you insult him as well.

Now, of course, women have been told by feminists today that leveraging on your husband is a weak thing to do. Besides, Girl power and all that. But the world is in the state of madness that it is today because of the confusion of roles. Feminism pretty much forbids a woman to use a man as a covering in certain situations and in others it insists that the man must be used as a covering. It's a case of schizophrenia. It is wise to pick one and leave the other: either a man is a covering to a woman or he is not. He can't be a covering when it suits her and not a covering when it doesn't.

And what have leveraging on one's husband got to do with this? Honestly, I do not see what feminism has got to do with the topic at hand.

Hard work and ambition suits women just fine. But according to the Scriptures, they should be tailored to suit her place in the home as wife and mother. And when she is unmarried, she should not be idle either. After all, the man's their home is not supposed to be her finishing school. If you remember Rebecca, her industry was the proof that Abraham's servant required to know that she was the one that God had appointed for his master's son. Managing wealth is at least as challenging as making it. And managing it properly will lead to increase in it. Rebecca proved by her industry that she not only understood and respected wealth, she valued it and was driven to maintain it. She did not learn that as Isaac's wife but as Bethuel's daughter (Genesis 24:12-25).

Now there is no doubt that in this world, this current spiritual system, the rule is that the strong consume the weak so generally where men can they may deny a woman the right to develop in economic ability. That is not the way of Christ as we are seeing from the Scriptures. The woman should learn right from her father's house to appreciate wealth, to preserve it and to increase it.

If she also learns to make it, no harm is done as long as she understands the separation of roles. What separation of roles?

For when both man and woman are out making wealth, nobody is building the home and raising the children to follow noble paths. As we see in Proverbs 31, this woman is carrying out commerce that covers large "geographies" but she is still vitally in touch with her home, rising very early to ensure that everyone is provided for. She sees to the needs of her children, the needs of her household staff if she has any and so on.

The woman's ability to successfully multitask is what makes all of that possible. And having a man who prices her as highly as the Proverbs 31 man does means that at the end of a day's work she doesn't feel bitter and drained because he will pamper her and restore her spirits with his sweet attentions.

We have lost a lot from closing our Bibles but in mercy the Lord is opening them up again for us. We can see now that romance can keep burning throughout marriage when roles are recognized, respected and played well. No man with any appreciation for his manly dignity will attempt to stifle the economic growth of his woman and no woman with any love for her womanhood would attempt to compete with the man from whom she derives meaning and security.

The bolded means?

Also, no man would leave the earth without ensuring properly that his wife will not be exploited in his absence.


For Your Word given in such great mercy and sympathy, we thank You, Father and ask that according to Your Word You may cause us to walk in it without wavering. Thank You, Father for hearing us. Amen.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok I have read your post and I am wondering where it ties up into our discourse. Infact, it only proves that men were never called to be 'sole breadwinners' as I believe that the Proverbs 31 woman is one that women ought to emulate.

My thoughts: Men should learn to ease up; everything in life is not a competition. Just as a man has desires, ambitions etc. a woman does too and it is left for both of them to tailor and fine tune their strengths to achieve their vision(s). God has deposited different gifts into a couple coming together in matrimony (not generic gender gifts but distinct gifts which if they are patient/insightful will see cover up for each other's weaknesses) and it is left for them to harness their gifts.

If Omotola was not a well known actress, nobody would have known Ekeinde; Same as Dora and several other prominent women.

The home/marriage is like a pool; everyone deposits their resources (financial, spiritual, mental, social, physical) etc. for the progress/upliftment of the home

It is well

bukatyne: You have subtly hinted at it (I am not the first poster here with that idea, that says something)

Feel free to show how I have. Furthermore, what does your not being the first poster with the idea say precisely?

Which context has women, please show it

The one you refered to in Paul's letter to Timothy.

Does him trusting his wife & sitting at the gate make him the breadwinner? Should a wife not trust her husband?

I believe I asked first.

It is not part of what is admirable in a husband to me (I not saying it is not admirable). Anybody can provide; my parents did that before I was independent; me earning my own pay places me in that position too

Good for you. However your subjective opinion and experience cannot automatically translate into a general rule.

I was actually saying that Paul did not attribute breadwinning to men alone in that passage else other passages with 'men' will have spoken to men alone. Nowhere was breadwinning attributed to the woman alone. My point is that no where was breadwinning attributed to one sex alone. I would like to see the passages that lay breadwinning solely at the husband's door

Interesting. How do you know that? Paul also distinctly mentioned women in the self-same chapter. He was actually talking about widows, young ones and old ones. Why would he suddenly ignore them to make a general reference to humanity using the male pronoun? I'd like you to show clearly how this is not one Scripture that lays breadwinning solely at the husband's door.

Also I did ask for your own Scriptures that don't require the commentary you went on to make above.

Sorry this is coming late

Yeah. Sorry, this is too.

bukatyne:

Ok I have read your post and I am wondering where it ties up into our discourse. Infact, it only proves that men were never called to be 'sole breadwinners' as I believe that the Proverbs 31 woman is one that women ought to emulate.

My thoughts: Men should learn to ease up; everything in life is not a competition. Just as a man has desires, ambitions etc. a woman does too and it is left for both of them to tailor and fine tune their strengths to achieve their vision(s). God has deposited different gifts into a couple coming together in matrimony (not generic gender gifts but distinct gifts which if they are patient/insightful will see cover up for each other's weaknesses) and it is left for them to harness their gifts.

If Omotola was not a well known actress, nobody would have known Ekeinde; Same as Dora and several other prominent women.

The home/marriage is like a pool; everyone deposits their resources (financial, spiritual, mental, social, physical) etc. for the progress/upliftment of the home

It is well

Well, feminism generally does advocate a woman's lack of need to depend on her man, does it not? Is the woman in Proverbs 31 independent of her man?

What separation of roles? Very curious question indeed. I think I'll come back to it.

I don't think there's anything obscure or ambiguous about that part. If you think there is, do tell and I'll attempt to clarify.

You raised Proverbs 31 and I shared a study on it with you. That is how it ties into our discussion. Feel free to show how it proves that men are not called to be the sole breadwinners.

Indeed I agree that it is not a competition. But "men should learn to ease up"? Lol. Let's see. The head (source, by translation) of the woman is the man, the head (source also) of man is Christ and the head (source too) of Christ is God. That's something Paul said. Do you notice the relationships? See if what you're saying fits into it.

Is it now a question of fame and popularity? Are you utterly sure that it wasn't especially because of their own husbands that these women got to be known at all? Or do you suppose that it is the first person you see that came first?

The home is an ordered structure. There are separate offices and roles. Disregard them to your own pain. Life is completely unequivocal about what arbitrariness and confusion result in. Everyone must till their own land or else there will be nothing but weeds and war over any fruit that is borne at all.

God help us all

daneni1:
God help us all

Amen