damiso:

Well said.


Backgrounds differ sha but I was always surrounded by industrious, hardworking women who pulled their own weight (even more sef sometimes) so all these "women are eggs" " "women are oppresed" "men must do it all" theories are alien to me.

So OP from your point 1 if the man is the breadwinner the woman too must not expect total respect all the time abi?

The Op is confused.

Sweetlemon:

Another survivor left from a dying breed. Please try to preserve this by passing on to your kids ok?

Yes I will do my best possible to pass it to my kids and to men around me..I have even started with my nephew by teaching him to Lead by example through honesty, discipline and intergrity, teaching him to Provide by sharing his snacks with his baby sister and also to Protect by standing up for his sister at school if she is faced with bullying.

damiso:

Well said.


Backgrounds differ sha but I was always surrounded by industrious, hardworking women who pulled their own weight (even more sef sometimes) so all these "women are eggs" " "women are oppresed" "men must do it all" theories are alien to me.

So OP from your point 1 if the man is the breadwinner the woman too must not expect total respect all the time abi?

Thumbs up. I'm disgusted by women like OP. The women in my family are hard-working overachievers.

MissMeiya:

Thumbs up. I'm disgusted by women like OP. The women in my family are hard-working overachievers.

How's your husband today?

ihedinobi2:
For the sake of productive conversarion, do tell, to what should respect be tied?

Definition of respect

/rɪˈspɛkt/

noun

1. Noun: respect; plural noun: respects
a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.

2. Verb
admire (someone or something) deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities, or achievements

Should deep admiration be felt for my hubby only because he earns more than me?

Nowhere did the Bible (I assume you are a Christian) say a man is the head because he earns more than the wife or because he is the breadwinner. The only scripture that ties 'men' to breadwinning is
1 Tim 5:8 King James Bible
But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

Then again, remember II Cor 5:17 King James Bible
Therefore if any man [be] in Christ, [he is] a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

Is the man in II Cor 5:17 here referring to only 'men'? Afterall, we do not have sisters in KJV etc.

Look at the qualities of the Virtuous woman (emphasis on the bolded)

Proverbs 31:10-31King James Version (KJV)

10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.

22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.

23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.

31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.


P.S.: And why will a husband respect his wife (Let us assume she is an housewife and have no income)

Sorry for the long post

zeongeon: Yes I will do my best possible to pass it to my kids and to men around me..I have even started with my nephew by teaching him to Lead by example through honesty, discipline and intergrity, teaching him to Provide by sharing his snacks with his baby sister and also to Protect by standing up for his sister at school if she is faced with bullying.

And you will not teach this values to your niece?

martineverest: I thought women are calling for gender equality.family bill and everything should be shared equally...so,why complaining

And do you agree to share the domestic duties? Wash the dishes, sweep and arrange the house, cook for the family, manage the home? If you do, then there's no problem, you can't expect her to help you with your responsibilities and do nothing to assist her with hers. Chikena.

damiso:

Well said.


Backgrounds differ sha but I was always surrounded by industrious, hardworking women who pulled their own weight (even more sef sometimes) so all these "women are eggs" " "women are oppresed" "men must do it all" theories are alien to me.

So OP from your point 1 if the man is the breadwinner the woman too must not expect total respect all the time abi?

I like the bold. All the women in my family are industrious, hardworking, and independent. They never needed any ideology to tell them how to lead their lives like that, and they all raised young kings and queens, who learned from them. From my mum, to my maternal and paternal nans, to my aunts. And from the stories I've heard, my great grandparents were also like that.

Anyway, to those searching for their men and women: #BringBackOurMen and #BringBackOurWomen.

ihedinobi2:
For the sake of productive conversarion, do tell, to what should respect be tied?

Character

delishpot:

If you dont see the link between my reply and your quote then sorry. Try puting your quote and my reply side by side and read so you can see the link between my reply and your own comment. Its good you decide to move on. Me sef don tire for this topic.

No continue to type

Honestly, this topic has been blown way out of proportion, if the men want the women to share the financial responsibilty with them, then they should also share the house chores too. I mean, equality in every aspect, right? So, no problem.
Women, chilax, when you're tired after a long day at work, your hubby can fix you something.

delishpot:

To p.enis. That is what our men feel that makes then above women. They have penis and they dont have to aern respect based on anything else.

What do I call you?

Some ladies are pests with the right amount of pesticide they'll go away and you can focus

bukatyne:

Definition of respect

/rɪˈspɛkt/

noun

1. Noun: respect; plural noun: respects
a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.

2. Verb
admire (someone or something) deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities, or achievements

Should deep admiration be felt for my hubby only because he earns more than me?

Nowhere did the Bible (I assume you are a Christian) say a man is the head because he earns more than the wife or because he is the breadwinner. The only scripture that ties 'men' to breadwinning is
1 Tim 5:8 King James Bible
But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

Then again, remember II Cor 5:17 King James Bible
Therefore if any man [be] in Christ, [he is] a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

Is the man in II Cor 5:17 here referring to only 'men'? Afterall, we do not have sisters in KJV etc.

Look at the qualities of the Virtuous woman (emphasis on the bolded)

Proverbs 31:10-31King James Version (KJV)

10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.

22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.

23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.

31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.


P.S.: And why will a husband respect his wife (Let us assume she is an housewife and have no income)

Sorry for the long post

.You're? a blessed woman

5minsmadness: @shelter4luving what is happening to our men? Feminism.
Men are being "feminised" as well. No need anymore to play the strong dependable man, riding on a white horse to save the lady from a dragon. That's sexist. Now the lady is the one who saves herself while the men applaud her for being independent and able to make her own choices.
Gone are the days when men were ashamed to admit their wives were the breadwinners of the family. Now its a thing of pride for a man to fold his legs and proudly state his wife is running the financial affairs of the home, after all, there is equality in the family, no captain no head. Its a TEAM effort and anybody can play any role.

The bitter truth is, no man can take care of a child as well as a woman. Women are naturally endowed to cater for and nourish children both physically and emotionally. The man brings in the discipline and hardiness necessary for the child to grow and survive in a harsh society, the woman brings in the love and softness needed to keep the child decent, sane and human . but now women don't have time to do this and (most?)men know next to nothing about taking care of the kids.

The family unit is under serious threat due to this current trend in role reversal in the name of equality and people will keep painting the problem over to meet their own selfish needs.

Personally I think its all part of the divine plan. Things will deteriorate further and there will be absolute chaos. Then peace will come.

seems so

5minsmadness: @shelter4luving what is happening to our men? Feminism.
Men are being "feminised" as well. No need anymore to play the strong dependable man, riding on a white horse to save the lady from a dragon. That's sexist. Now the lady is the one who saves herself while the men applaud her for being independent and able to make her own choices.
Gone are the days when men were ashamed to admit their wives were the breadwinners of the family. Now its a thing of pride for a man to fold his legs and proudly state his wife is running the financial affairs of the home, after all, there is equality in the family, no captain no head. Its a TEAM effort and anybody can play any role.

The bitter truth is, no man can take care of a child as well as a woman. Women are naturally endowed to cater for and nourish children both physically and emotionally. The man brings in the discipline and hardiness necessary for the child to grow and survive in a harsh society, the woman brings in the love and softness needed to keep the child decent, sane and human . but now women don't have time to do this and (most?)men know next to nothing about taking care of the kids.

The family unit is under serious threat due to this current trend in role reversal in the name of equality and people will keep painting the problem over to meet their own selfish needs.

Personally I think its all part of the divine plan. Things will deteriorate further and there will be absolute chaos. Then peace will come.

seems so

@op what happened to your tenses

Sweetlemon: LOl. op, with all the broke asss 24/7 Nairalanding men and the I-go-manage-any-kind-of-man females on NL, this your thread is dead on arrival.

Only realistic people will agree with you, and we are too few.

@shelter4luving, I hope you see this post amidst all this noise. It is the reality of the matter. Be a good unselfish and feminine woman and hopefully when its your turn your will attract the man of your dreams.

pickabeau1: Good.. I agree with all you stated below


I dont think both of you were saying vastly different things..


Its a tough sell even in developed economies not to talk of our context which is a traditional one transiting to a more modern setting

What you have stated is the ideal

What some fail to misundertand is that this issue is also a big deal in the Developed world because it is at the core of gender identity

We will get there.......


I will post the TIME article and would like you to give a seasoned feedback.



http://time.com/#87890/fox-news-female-breadwinner/

---

LOL. This is another kettle of fish entirely for me, because I don't reside in Yanks, and so don't know how marriage issues unfolds over there. But nevertheless, I'll input some ideas and hopefully it'll be worth your time. I'm more interested in the words you emboldened.

@second embolden, Naturally, whether anyone likes it or not, men are 'providers', religiously, culturally and otherwise. Men have egos/prides, and I admit, marriages where women are the bread winners is likely to cause rift between the couples if not well-managed because:

1. the man's ego will shattered. He's likely to feel less of himself if especially he can't cater for his family's need like the wife does

2. The man might be scorned at by his fellow men and the society at large. He'll be a laughing stock.

3. Such better-paid wives are likely to rub it in the husband's face that she provides more than him, because naturally he ought to be the chief provider. And when she does, it'll negatively affect the husband's psyche, etc.

Now in the part you embolden where studies showed that such men will likely cheat if they earn less than their wife, is true, but the harsher reality is that such men will do worst things. Some will end drowning their sorrows in alcohols, some will start keeping late nights while hanging out with friends; because their psyche are affected, it'll lead to a poor séx life etc. But what you should know is that "amount of disparity in amount of salary earned" determines such changes in the life of the man (I'll explain this point later on in this rejoinder).

Also, while 'Pew research" stated that wife-at-home-dad-at-work style of marriage was prefered by most Americans (which I prefer it too on the condition I'm making enough cheddah to cater for our needs and she doesn't mind), this I would say "to each, his/her own." Such style works but not in all time. Let me elaborate.

Back in the time of our forefathers, women had no degrees, their primarily job was all about catering/cooking for the family amidst helping out in the farm works. But times have changed. You can't expect any woman with a degree and working while you met her, to dump all her degrees and be a permanent housewife while you make the papers. Some women will agree, some will not and find it boring/waste of knowledge. That's why coys and organizations give 'maternity leaves' etc., for pregnant women to tend to their children/newly born babies. I believe a working class mum can still be working, and don't forget her wifely duties at home, though it'll be hard for her to achieve such compared to a full-time housewife. Now that's where the husband comes in. A understanding husband can help her out sometimes at home when the work is too much for her or they can hire a good nanny/maid/househelp to help out. But the truth(to me personally) remains that, a wife at home while the husband makes the millions is more preferable, or at least till her children are all grown up, then she can start work(that's how I was raised).

@3rd embolden, I beg to differ. Bread winner problems are as much as how much money the female (the bone of contention) earns, as to what they do with the resources.

A man's ego (egocentric/proud type) will naturally make him get angry or feel belittled that his wife is earning more than him, even if the wife is using the money to benefit the family, Even though the man has access to the money. Some men can't just stomach the fact that their wives earns more than them.


@fourth embolden, I agree with all the embolden. The use of "many" and not "all" means it's not generalising, so there are many ex-wives/ex-husbands that feel such way.

But what you should know is that "amount of disparity in amount of salary earned" determines such changes in the life of the man (I'll explain this point later on in this rejoinder).

Now about this ^^^ that I said I'll explain, let me give you an example of what I mean.

If man is earning, let's say N150K monthly, and his wife is earning N200K monthly. I make bold to say many men in such category won't feel ashamed, less of themselves, not manly enough or make fuss about it. They won't feel belittled or that the wife is providing more than them. Heck, the wife can't provide more than them. So the probability of chaos emanating from such situations are rare.

Now on the other hand, if the man is earning N50K and the woman, N150K. It's very obvious that the woman is the top dog financially and brings more to the table financially, than the man. Many chaos is bound to result if the two couples didn't handle such situation maturedly. This is where the marriage will be tested the more. So disparity is money earned can't be over emphasised.

So what I'll do in case my wife earns more than me, is during dating, if I perceive any stench of arrogancy/proudness steming from the fact she earns more me, I'll quit if I know I can't tolerate her. But I believe they're many rich women earning more than their husbands, but don't disrespect them or their position in the marriage. All women ain't the same.

bukatyne:

The problem is why tie respect to finance?

Anyways, it is how our parents raised us

That's what people don't get. If anybody respect you because of fear or finance, not because of deep emotions of love he or she has for you, that respect is fake. Respect is reciprocal, it'd be borne out of love/nice qualities that one potrays not out of fear or finance, in this situation.

ihedinobi2:
By all means, do as you please. My part always is to share what I learn in life never to take people's decisions for them.

So I'll share some wisdom that you will be silent long enough to listen to, I hope: quit making assumptions unless you can justify them. You have made so many that that is the best response that I can give to you.

I'm not certain whose question it is that I dodged, for instance or what threads you refer to, but that I would never "agree to my woman earning more than me" is one very large assumption to make. I won't bother to tell you how wrong or right you are. I will only tell you that it is a very dangerous habit to have. You would do well to lose it.

OK.

shelter4luving: Is like out of all the things in the world increasing, the only thing depreciating is LOVE.
when i was a little girl, there's this picture of men i had in my head. i see them as people that are strong, hardworking, brave and people that can defend and protect women. probably all these qualities was meant to be them ,but today, it's difficult to see men with these attribute. what i see now is, different from what i thought.
1. now some men are confidence and bold to publicly tell people how their wife is the bread winner of the family. i even hear this during testimonies in church. oh sorry to say this. if she's the bread winner, please don't expect total respect all the time.
2. Is like all men now want a working, independent woman. so the woman wouldn't depend on them. forgetting that every woman love to depend on his man even if she have the whole money in the world. if a woman cant depend on you, of what use are you to her?
3. a lot of men can actually lie, pretend to love a rich lady just for the sake of her money or fame. that's why you keep seeing advert: ' i want a sugar mummy who can pay' it's disappointing.
4. most men don't even care nor appreciate how the woman manage her time to take care of the children, and still rush home from work to prepare food for the family. rather they keep going around forming Baddest Boy Ever liveth. chasing other ladies and don't even consider how the woman feels. Mr. man, are you not suppose to protect that woman instead of giving her pains and making her cry?
Men, please what's up with you?
if you continue this way, our little boys wouldn't learn how to be real men.
please arise and be the real man you were created to be.

Seems OP has got the wrong man! No offense though.
Nice advise from you!

MrRenaissance:

LOL. This is another kettle of fish entirely for me, because I don't reside in Yanks, and so don't know how marriage issues unfolds over there. But nevertheless, I'll input some ideas and hopefully it'll be worth your time. I'm more interested in the words you emboldened.

You missed my point in bringing up an article from the West
Its to bring to the fore a misguided notion common in some commenters than white men are ok with their women earning more than men and nigerians are not exposed for bringing forward mundane issues

The issues are not mundane and are real

Now to your own points

@second embolden, Naturally, whether anyone likes it or not, men are 'providers', religiously, culturally and otherwise. Men have egos/prides, and I admit, marriages where women are the bread winners is likely to cause rift between the couples if not well-managed because:

1. the man's ego will shattered. He's likely to feel less of himself if especially he can't cater for his family's need like the wife does

2. The man might be scorned at by his fellow men and the society at large. He'll be a laughing stock.

3. Such better-paid wives are likely to rub it in the husband's face that she provides more than him, because naturally he ought to be the chief provider. And when she does, it'll negatively affect the husband's psyche, etc.

Now in the part you embolden where studies showed that such men will likely cheat if they earn less than their wife, is true, but the harsher reality is that such men will do worst things. Some will end drowning their sorrows in alcohols, some will start keeping late nights while hanging out with friends; because their psyche are affected, it'll lead to a poor séx life etc. But what you should know is that "amount of disparity in amount of salary earned" determines such changes in the life of the man (I'll explain this point later on in this rejoinder).

I will not justify infidelity using the reasons stated above. But note it is an issue which bedevils even western males
Funny when some posters come here saying white men dont cheat

Also, while 'Pew research" stated that wife-at-home-dad-at-work style of marriage was prefered by most Americans (which I prefer it too on the condition I'm making enough cheddah to cater for our needs and she doesn't mind), this I would say "to each, his/her own." Such style works but not in all time. Let me elaborate.

Back in the time of our forefathers, women had no degrees, their primarily job was all about catering/cooking for the family amidst helping out in the farm works. But times have changed. You can't expect any woman with a degree and working while you met her, to dump all her degrees and be a permanent housewife while you make the papers. Some women will agree, some will not and find it boring/waste of knowledge. That's why coys and organizations give 'maternity leaves' etc., for pregnant women to tend to their children/newly born babies. I believe a working class mum can still be working, and don't forget her wifely duties at home, though it'll be hard for her to achieve such compared to a full-time housewife. Now that's where the husband comes in. A understanding husband can help her out sometimes at home when the work is too much for her or they can hire a good nanny/maid/househelp to help out. But the truth(to me personally) remains that, a wife at home while the husband makes the millions is more preferable, or at least till her children are all grown up, then she can start work(that's how I was raised).

I agree with to each his own

@3rd embolden, I beg to differ. Bread winner problems are as much as how much money the female (the bone of contention) earns, as to what they do with the resources.

A man's ego (egocentric/proud type) will naturally make him get angry or feel belittled that his wife is earning more than him, even if the wife is using the money to benefit the family, Even though the man has access to the money. Some men can't just stomach the fact that their wives earns more than them.

If you now agree there is something called the male ego.. why did u write earlier as if it did not exist?
That was the point ihedinobi2 was trying to make
Gender identities revolve around this provider - nurturer roles... though the degrees vary

@fourth embolden, I agree with all the embolden. The use of "many" and not "all" means it's not generalising, so there are many ex-wives/ex-husbands that feel such way.

But what you should know is that "amount of disparity in amount of salary earned" determines such changes in the life of the man (I'll explain this point later on in this rejoinder).

Now about this ^^^ that I said I'll explain, let me give you an example of what I mean.

If man is earning, let's say N150K monthly, and his wife is earning N200K monthly. I make bold to say many men in such category won't feel ashamed, less of themselves, not manly enough or make fuss about it. They won't feel belittled or that the wife is providing more than them. Heck, the wife can't provide more than them. So the probability of chaos emanating from such situations are rare.

Now on the other hand, if the man is earning N50K and the woman, N150K. It's very obvious that the woman is the top dog financially and brings more to the table financially, than the man. Many chaos is bound to result if the two couples didn't handle such situation maturedly. This is where the marriage will be tested the more. So disparity is money earned can't be over emphasised.

So what I'll do in case my wife earns more than me, is during dating, if I perceive any stench of arrogancy/proudness steming from the fact she earns more me, I'll quit if I know I can't tolerate her. But I believe they're many rich women earning more than their husbands, but don't disrespect them or their position in the marriage. All women ain't the same.

Yes all women are not the same and I agree with your scenarios. However men comprise greatly of more than you and I
Others will react in different ways

Nice POVs

bukatyne:

And you will not teach this values to your niece?

My respect for you just shot up right now. This is what I'm talking about. He's teaching only the male and leaving the female, invariably making the niece to be dependent on men in future and never believing she can work for herself and provide for herself. I weep for the mentality of my country. it's so sad.

MrRenaissance: My respect for you just shot up right now. This is what I'm talking about. He's teaching only the male and leaving the female, invariably making the niece to be dependent on men in future and never believing she can work for herself and provide for herself. I weep for the mentality of my country. it's so sad.

Thanks

pickabeau1:
You missed my point in bringing up an article from the West
Its to bring to the fore a misguided notion common in some commenters than white men are ok with their women earning more than men and nigerians are not exposed for bringing forward mundane issues

The issues are not mundane and are real

Now to your own points

You wouldn't blame me for not knowing the issues in the West as I'm not living there. I can speak only for Nigerian scenery.

I will not justify infidelity using the reasons stated above. But note it is an issue which bedevils even western males
Funny when some posters come here saying white men dont cheat

I didn't justify it either, as a matter of fact, I don't justify cheating at all. Cheating is cheating, and it's wrong. All I'm saying is that some people can use such an excuse to do bad things like cheating or getting drunk daily. It's dumb but it happens. Anyone that says White men don't cheat, is an ídiot, or doesn't have a functioning brain.

If you now agree there is something called the male ego.. why did u write earlier as if it did not exist?
That was the point ihedinobi2 was trying to make
Gender identities revolve around this provider - nurturer roles... though the degrees vary

I didn't write it like it doesn't exist (unless you saw it that way), I wrote such way because the mentality (of thinking a woman earning more than men is belittling) is retrogressive and should be extinguished. Such mentality is why problems are created in such marriages at the first place. A mentality that a woman should never earn more than her husband is a rétarded mentality in this age. C'mon, some countries are ruled by women, does it make the male citizens less are inferior to the females? Have you occurred to you that women have their own egos too? We all have egos, but we should be rational in our dealings, that's why we're learned/higher primates

Yes all women are not the same and I agree with your scenarios. However men comprise greatly of more than you and I. Others will react in different ways

Nice POVs

Yeah, different strokes, for different people. Diffrent men and women,will react in different ways.

MrRenaissance:

You wouldn't blame me for not knowing the issues in the West as I'm not living there. I can speak only for Nigerian scenery.

ok.. some here believe that way
If u can speak for naija,,,, then u know it is an issue and the issue exists... women outearning their partners
I brought up the western information to show it also exists elsewhere
With time it will fade below the radar

I didn't justify it either, as a matter of fact, I don't justify cheating at all. Cheating is cheating, and it's wrong. All I'm saying is that some people can use such an excuse to do bad things like cheating or getting drunk daily. It's dumb but it happens. Anyone that says White men don't cheat, is an ídiot, are doesn't have a functioning brain.

GBAM!.. i will bold these words

I didn't write it like it doesn't exist (unless you saw it that way), I wrote such way because the mentality (of thinking a woman earning more than men is belittling) is retrogressive and should be extinguished. Such mentality is why problems are created in such marriages at the first place. A mentality that a woman should never earn more than her husband is a rétarded mentality in this age. C'mon, some countries are ruled by women, does it make the male citizens less are inferior to the females? Have you occurred to you that women have their own egos too? We all have egos, but we should be rational in our dealings, that's why we're learned/higher primates

Yeah, different strokes, for different people. Diffrent men and women,will react in different ways.

Now this bolded is what i dont get with your posts

You admit the issue exists and should be extinguished

I dont think it can be extinguished as it is tied to gender identity

I believe with greater understanding, the dynamics can be managed better below the radar for the betterment of the family

Refer to the article on issues in the US....

from all i have read and experienced about gender issues i am very pro equality. That doesnt mean i am deluded and encourage others to be deluded.

In recent times, i am more concerned about men than anyone else and this is becos i see an inductrination of him. I see a kind of miseducation of the man about his place in this world. I have also see that women themselves are misinformed also. This is a misinformation and miseducation that will never lead the woman ans well as the man anywhere!

I am for equality and equality in the sense i understand it, doesnt mean delusion. Infact, it is becos i am pro equality that i tell everyone the truth especially when it comes to things we cant change. I do this becos i know that we need to work with reality; thats when we can conqure, women and men. Not when we build our approaches to life on fantasies.

pickabeau1:

ok.. some here believe that way
If u can speak for naija,,,, then u know it is an issue and the issue exists... women outearning their partners
I brought up the western information to show it also exists elsewhere
With time it will fade below the radar


GBAM!.. i will bold these words



Now this bolded is what i dont get with your posts

You admit the issue exists and should be extinguished

I dont think it can be extinguished as it is tied to gender identity

I believe with greater understanding, the dynamics can be managed better below the radar for the betterment of the family

Refer to the article on issues in the US....

Yeah, I admit it should be extinguished, "ideally"; but realistically, it can't, it can only be reduced/managed with better understanding and tolerance. So you are right.

MrRenaissance: Yeah, I admit it should be extinguished, "ideally"; but realistically, it can't, it can only be reduced/managed with better understanding and tolerance. So you are right.

Cool debate... gender dynamics is a big issue really... all the isms are an offshoot of it

what makes a man respected and attractive to women so that they want to be with him as a sex partner as well as a wife is that he exibits dominance in the society. We see this among other animals too.

Men, dont be decieved by the wrong orientation being given to you by feminists. I know some of them dont mean it and also have a legitimate course to fight. But the truth is: there is also a wrong education of the man being done out there and everyone is paying for it feminists and non feminists alike.

Though feminists and misandrists like denying it, but the feeling of security is inherent in every woman just as it is inherent in men to be impressed and moved by a woman's beauty. We didnt cause all these things so there is no point fighting against it.....

....this is the reason women most times prefer tall and bigger men. It is all about the feeling of security.

No man should think that becos he is just one good guy, he is going to be liked and desired by women. It is not so. So it is important you try to go all out there and try to achieve things. Be a go geter control things. You may not be earning as much as your wife, but there are ways you show strength that you will be desired by women.

Obviously, it is likely that you may never be as rich as Folorunsho Alakija but when you just sit down and you dont try to get your own life. You will never get any kind of respect and no woman will ever admire . Thats the truth.

Chai..shey u no know say women na version?..dey always scared of loosing dea husband Abi u no know say men scarce 4 street? 4 me..if I marry you and dey pain u say I no dey responsible, leav me, na 5hours e go take me mk I find anoda version