5minsmadness: No mystery here.

Op your husband does not love you. Probably never did.
You knew this so its not like you are a victim. You knew he had an AS woman that he loves but he couldn't marry but you went ahead to be his wife. Why? What was your reason?

If you truly love him you are going to have to wait until he gets used to you. Right now he is rebelling against the idea of having you as his wife instead of the AS lady. Hence his impatience and shouting, etc. But it will get better with time if you can be patient. Someone here said in time the love between them will die. Fortunately for you, that's true. He'll calm down after your first and second baby. You just have to be patient.


This story is incomplete though.
Do you actually love him?
How do you know about his past relationship with the AS girl? Did he tell you or did you find out?
Who introduced you to him? His people or your people or was it a chance meeting?

I know she's to blame here, but so it her husband. People are conveniently forgetting his own part in this. Both him and his AS ex . . .

Why did he propose to, and marry OP knowing he's still in love with someone else? Was he forced to at gun point?

Why is his ex still allowing herself maintain an emotional relationship with him, knowing he's married to someone else?

I was once an 'AS-ex' and it hurt like hell when barely after 1 month after we got our test result, my ex was dating someone else (and married her shotrly afterwards) . . . Bringing her into the apartment we rented together to live as husband and wife, sleeping with her on our bed e.t.c

This is someone who proposed to me on bended knees and promised to love me forever against all odds. And yet, you find out we are not medically compatible and you move on like you have no care in the world.

Except of course he didn't really move on. Still wanted is to continue having an 'affair' . . . how belittling an insulting!!! I was so hurt that I cut of ALL communication with him. It wasn't easy for me to do because he was perfect and I loved him.

But he won't let me go . . . kept calling, sending messages, visiting unannounced to begging for us to remain 'friends' . . . . Lol. Friends indeed!!!

A friend won't completely disregard my feeling and marry another woman within months of our break up . . . a friend won't flaunt his affairs with numerous women (who were not his wife) in my face and act like it's no big deal. And most of all, no friend of mine will cheat on and disrespect his wife so blatantly . . .

I imagine his wife was experiencing the same thing OP is experiencing now, cos even the day of his traditional marriage, he left me a love message on his Facebook wall And he said " . . . . . If I had a choice, I would hold your hand forever and never let you go . . . now I have to settle for second best . . . . " (and so many other things he said). I was beyond shocked that his wife will read such message and still go ahead to marry him. Women sha.

In the end I was glad I didn't marry him . . . cos he would have disrespected me just like he did his wife.

Anyways, to cut a long story short. I deleted him from my FB, BB, barred him on what-app and eventually moved from where I live just to get far away from him. I left him to face his marriage!!!



Maybe OP's husband's ex should do the same here . . .

This one na double thread. Visit the other one, it is more active https://www.nairaland.com/1812258/tired-marriage-barely-four-months

Anyways,the deed is done i do not want to go into how/when u guys started dating before marriage.what i will say is he's still having emotional problems from the breakup.he needs time and counselling to get over it.just keep on praying and submitting to him.keep calm and hope.

This is serious n says alot.
I hope things are better now.

I know a couple too who the wife left an AS guy to marry d man.

Right now, she is running to her ex n her husband has decided to seek love outside hoping he doesn't end up fathering an SS child even if he is AA.

Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word[b], they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives,[/b] 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.1 pet 3:1-2.

I use this scripture for myself too in my marriage.This is wat God will say to u. All d best.