baby124:
Yimu#
If I hear that you don't give her slap morning, afternoon and night when that skoin skoin grip you. So you are testing a woman before you marry her. Hahahahahha. Men must think women are dumb. A desperate woman will pass any test with flying colors. That does not mean she was the best choice for you or loved you most. Anyway sha, there is someone for everyone. Only an insane person will stay with a man who slaps her whenever he enters a trance. Your story is fraudulent. I bet she also knew about the 2 others you were swapping STD's with. The fact that she stayed may just mean she was the most desperate without choice. Not an insult please.

nairalife2013: hahahahaha. May god help u. Desperate. I wish u knew who she is. She had better suitors than me. And she was only abt 23yrs or so then. She loved me beyond words, she believe i love her also. She believe in her self and her ability to tame me and get what she want. To her, i had an edge above all other men, tho i was younger and more social and extrovert. She hard love for me and all d attributes i need in a lady and she was extremely hard working academically- with all those attributes she was sure with her discerning mind that all she needed to have a perfect home was just, she told me much later, was just respect for her man and humilty in his presence. Now she controls my empire, like jack sparrow controls ship of the carrebean seas! God help u. Just live as u wish.its only desperate women that are meek and limitlesly humble. Am smiling to my self, as i visualize your awestruck countenance if i tell u what she was then at abt 18rs and what she is now at 27. She was desperate indeed. Continue leading tha life. itz yur life. There are those that get what they want. There others that get what they deserve while others get nothing. Itz yur life.

nairalife2013: hahahahaha. May god help u. Desperate. I wish u knew who she is. She had better suitors than me. And she was only abt 23yrs or so then. She loved me beyond words, she believe i love her also. She believe in her self and her ability to tame me and get what she want. To her, i had an edge above all other men, tho i was younger and more social and extrovert. She hard love for me and all d attributes i need in a lady and she was extremely hard working academically- with all those attributes she was sure with her discerning mind that all she needed to have a perfect home was just, she told me much later, was just respect for her man and humilty in his presence. Now she controls my empire, like jack sparrow controls ship of the carrebean seas! God help u. Just live as u wish.its only desperate women that are meek and limitlesly humble. Am smiling to my self, as i visualize your awestruck countenance if i tell u what she was then at abt 18rs and what she is now at 27. She was desperate indeed. Continue leading tha life. itz yur life. There are those that get what they want. There others that get what they deserve while others get nothing. Itz yur life.

RoyalRoy: Jessybarbie..... I see you reading this right now!!!

What did u say to him before he slapped you?

Answer Us please!!!

jessybarbie:

We were arguing about a lot of things and exchanging insulting words. I sat on a chair he wanted to use and refused to get up, that's when he did it.

soonest:
Thank u for ur sincere answer. Some guys here are saying d Op is also abusive. Mtschewww! The Op slapping him back is in self defence.

theLORDreigns:

Where she goes is secondary... right now, the smart thing to do is to walk out.



She isn't, it was self-defence.



She isn't the abusive type...



Lol...stop being sarcastic!

jessybarbie:
We were arguing about a lot of things and exchanging insulting words. I sat on a chair he wanted to use and refused to get up, that's when he did it.

soonest: I don't doubt ur story one bit cos there's no 1 size that fits all. Life is a gamble. It paid well for her(ur wife) but for every 'her' that succeded there r a lot that regreted d decision to marry such a fellow

jessybarbie:

We were arguing about a lot of things and exchanging insulting words. I sat on a chair he wanted to use and refused to get up, that's when he did it.

The fact that you retaliated also shows you are violent and should equally be dreaded, both of you are guilty of one and same offence. EOD!

My submission, stick to him!

NB: You haven't told us the sh1t you did to warrant a slap (not justifying the slap thou) even thou it may well be justified afterall

dazzlingd:

To say u two will make terrible lawyers will be an understatement.....self defence is wen some1 is trying to hurt u and u defend ursef from getting hurt. This case is different and it's pure violence and retaliation, the retaliation in this case is opposite of self defence as it cud ve provoked the gentle man to respond again and cause her more deadly injuries.

Battered woman defense

The courts in Australia, Canada, New Zealand, United Kingdom, and United States have accepted the extensive and growing body of research showing that battered partners can use force to defend themselves and sometimes kill their abusers because of the abusive and sometimes life-threatening situation in which they find themselves, acting in the firm belief that there is no other way than to kill for self-preservation.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battered_woman_defense

My advice to u, take it or leave it; wen a guy hits u once and stop, don't ever respond and hit back cus u may not be as lucky as dis lady to meet a gentle man who will not respond, then u will learn how self defence differs from violence.

theLORDreigns:

Your opinion...





My advice to u, take it or leave it; when you hit your girlfriend once and stop, don't ever expect her to sit back & take it quietly cuz u may not be as lucky as dis guy to meet a loving woman who will not stab you with a knife, then u will learn how hitting a woman differs from correcting her in love.

dazzlingd:
Quite an impressive recommendation, @op, u now have an option to weigh the two different views and choose....my recommendation; never retaliate

...thelordreigns: use a knife to stab him next time
Lastbullet: I have class and taste of girls I go for not heavy weight street champions neither will I raise my hands on my innocent damsel

theLORDreigns:

Your opinion...

My advice to u, take it or leave it; when you hit your girlfriend once and stop, don't ever expect her to sit back & take it quietly cuz u may not be as lucky as dis guy to meet a loving woman who will not stab you with a knife, then u will learn how hitting a woman differs from correcting her in love.

jessybarbie:
We were arguing about a lot of things and exchanging insulting words. I sat on a chair he wanted to use and refused to get up, that's when he did it.

shizzleStar:
Anything to justify a fellow woman's irrational behaviour, just anything, ohhh feminism! *sighs*
ok, what says you about this senseless rudeness, arrogance and stubbornness displayed by the op? Mind you, the argument didn't fetch her the slap, but this, as she confessed below
All i see written over your comments is feminism, i am yet to see where you reprimanded the op for refusing to get up from the chair her bf obviously wanted to use for some silly reasons, which led to all these, will saying the truth stop you from being a woman?, even the Lord preached respect, but with your comment which lacks fair judgement and one wonders if truly theLORDreigns in your biased comment

theLORDreigns:
...

Mynd44:

I am judging from what was written in the OP. Nowhere was it stated that he came at her or tried to hit her again. Even when she hit him continously, he remained calm She could have chosen to walk away like a non violent person would. She did not.

You're right @emboldened
...

theLORDreigns:

Look for this post below;

jessybarbie: Before now, I have already made up my mind not to have anything to do with any man that lays his hand on me and he knows this.I have being dating him for two years now and just in the middle of a big quarrel two days ago he slapped me. I reacted immediately and hit him as much as I could but he did not retaliate but felt really bad and started begging me immediately to forgive him.

I have sworn to him that it is over between us He is begging, pleading, crying, asking our friends to intercede and loads of other stuffs that I can not put down here just to have me at least forgive him and be his friend again but I have declined because I believe that this can happen again.

I want to know if there is a way that it can work again between us? We have gotten to a stage that we are more than just bf and gf. We had great plans for the future if things turns out well but this singular act have altered everything and we are both hurting.

Is there any way to remedy this relationship or is it truly over forever?

theLORDreigns:

Show me where I supported her retaliation.



...dazzlingd: slap her next time

Lastbullet: I have class and taste of guys I go for not tout street champions neither will I stab my handsome knight in shiny armour.

shizzleStar:
ok that was the retaliation part, i was talking about her refusal to get up from the chair, anyway let me guess your opinion on that would be that she should have simply got up for her bf to use the chair and guess what VOILA! all these nonsense and thread would have been avoided.
Nuff said!

theLORDreigns:

Jessybarbie, under no circumstances is it justifiable for a man to hit a woman or vise versa!

Naavah: Op I don't av any advice to give, I just appreciate d way u replied to d slap. U get mind sha

alutacontinua:

He he he
so, una scarce?





Seriously, it takes a lot of 'see-finish' (like my people will say) to be landing slaps on each other.
if he's done it once, high probability he'll do it again
but again, op has failed to address the important questions asked,

crackhaus:
Could you please elaborate more on this.

theLORDreigns:

Don't confuse things, I'm not jessybarbie & my opinion about whether 'getting-off-the-seat' could have prevented that slap or not shouldn't count.

It's not that simple when it comes to abusive partners. Anything else could have tripped (& can still trip) him off.

For all we know, she may have been 'getting-off-seats' all through their two-year relationship. So telling her to continue 'walking on eggshells' in order to avoid abuse doesn't quite cut it.

Both partners are/were wrong. However, she would never have 'defended herself' if he didn't hit her in the first place. He lacks self control & predictability.

Saying they deserve each other just because she defended herself is like saying two wrongs make it right.

Answer this: Would you have asked her to remain in this relationship if she told you that she quietly walked away without retaliation?

jessybarbie: Before now, I have already made up my mind not to have anything to do with any man that lays his hand on me and he knows this. I have being dating him for two years now and just in the middle of a big quarrel two days ago he slapped me. I reacted immediately and hit him as much as I could but he did not retaliate but felt really bad and started begging me immediately to forgive him.

I have sworn to him that it is over between us. He is begging, pleading, crying, asking our friends to intercede and loads of other stuffs that I can not put down here just to have me at least forgive him and be his friend again but I have declined because I believe that this can happen again.

I want to know if there is a way that it can work again between us? We have gotten to a stage that we are more than just bf and gf. We had great plans for the future if things turns out well but this singular act have altered everything and we are both hurting.

Is there any way to remedy this relationship or is it truly over forever?

apolonius:

An adult that slaps another sure has greater problems than is manifested in the 'slapping' symptom. More often than not,if the slapper is determined to recognize this and consciously try to work on the deeper infirmity that this act mirrors they should be fine.

More importantly,many of us Naija men have this barbaric worldview from the wrong 'macho upbringing' that we had that unconsciously taught us that an animalistic physical expression of feelings is ok.

It is an infirmity we all have except for people who have acknowledged the existence of this mental deformation and worked on it.

If she loves him and he is consciously working on being better and saner,let her stay on.

shizzleStar:
GBAM!

She too needs to do same, her defiance and irrational decision led to all these (she allowed the negative emotion from their argument) by refusing him to use the chair. They both need some emotional control upgrade

theLORDreigns:

There is no justification for physical abuse irrespective of gender.

Note: Jessybarbie reacted in self-defence.

shizzleStar:
well surprisingly my advice will be that she remains in the relationship, who has never made a mistake before. The pont is both of them made mistakes, that he hit her does not necessarily make him terrible neither does it mean he is/will be a violent partner.

Sometimes our emotions play a fast one on us and we make errors in utterances or actions that sooner had they been made, they become regrettable, and we bite ourselves for the poor sense of judgement and decision.

You don't just condemn someone based on a singular bad act, forgetting the 2years of bliss or harmony they've enjoyed together. The bf emotions got the better of him, he immediately realised he acted badly and sought for forgiveness, she also should forgive and bury the hatchet.

I insist that both of them can still function together as an item, a little adjustments here and there from both of them and they are good to go, after all if he is that bad, not sure their rship would have lasted this long. Nobody is perfect.

crackhaus:
Yes, no justification for physical abuse. But is there no justification whatsoever in giving just one slap to someone who is in the wrong?