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CONFUSE- Pls Advice Needed - Romance - Nairaland

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My Friend Babe Asked Him A Question And His Confuse. Pls Help / One Man, Two Ladies, Two Countries I Am Confuse Pls Help. / I Am Confuse,pls Help! (2) (3) (4)

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CONFUSE- Pls Advice Needed by dexterush(f): 8:32pm On Jul 28, 2014
Hi guys,pls i need ur advice as am in a confuse state of mind. I have been dating this guy for lik 5yrs now,den we decide to take it to the next step and ma family are saying no cos he is not a catholic.
I see little sense in their reason though, but i dont feel its enuf, i av tried talkin to him about it but he is not ready to bcom a catholic, nd am not ready to worship elsewhere too, nd i also dont want a situation wen on sunday i will be going south nd ma family north. We av gone too far and i dont fink i want to let go.
So wat do u guys suggest i do?reasonable response pls thanks.
Re: CONFUSE- Pls Advice Needed by Nobody: 8:37pm On Jul 28, 2014
your issue is very simple: make a decision on what is IMPORTANT to you, and follow it without any regrets. if you try to satisfy everyone in your life then you will simply end up miserable.

this man was perfect FOR YOU for 5yrs and now suddenly, you are bringing such BS issues to him. i can fully understand why he wont change. he is dating and possibly marrying YOU, not your parents.

PS if your parents views are that important to you, then let them find you a man, and stick with their choice.

3 Likes

Re: CONFUSE- Pls Advice Needed by jennylove7575(f): 8:38pm On Jul 28, 2014
If u love this guy and really want to be with him. Push family matter for corner. Big babes no dey allow family make decision of their heart for them. Abeg bone family marry the guy. As for me, marriage is not my thing.

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Re: CONFUSE- Pls Advice Needed by publicenemy(m): 8:51pm On Jul 28, 2014
you dont need an advise.


after dating for 5 years you cant get married becos you two cant come to a compromise abi? you havent seen a christian marrying a muslim?

you are both stvpid and are looking for a way to break up.

1 Like

Re: CONFUSE- Pls Advice Needed by harrwix(m): 8:56pm On Jul 28, 2014
Are you marrying ur family or the man?

you both hv to agree on a consensus n not ur family and his decision should weigh more cos he is d man.
Re: CONFUSE- Pls Advice Needed by dexterush(f): 8:56pm On Jul 28, 2014
Thanks guys i rily appreciate,just d pressure gettin too much,dey are even bringin extended families into d matter to mount more pressure. Sumtyms i even feel lik gettin maslf pregnant to see if dey wont lemme go by force cry
Re: CONFUSE- Pls Advice Needed by dexterush(f): 9:00pm On Jul 28, 2014
publicenemy: you dont need an advise.


after dating for 5 years you cant get married becos you two cant come to a compromise abi? you havent seen a christian marrying a muslim?

you are both stvpid and are looking for a way to break up.
Some nairalanders nd dere badmouth sha... undecided its in you.
Re: CONFUSE- Pls Advice Needed by Nobody: 9:02pm On Jul 28, 2014
dexterush: Thanks guys i rily appreciate,just d pressure gettin too much,dey are even bringin extended families into d matter to mount more pressure. Sumtyms i even feel lik gettin maslf pregnant to see if dey wont lemme go by force cry

that wont solve the problem, far from it....you need to COMMUNICATE with your parents and let them understand that this is YOUR decision and that they cannot dictate your life as an adult. the reason why it is so much pressure is because all this while, you brush off the issue under a rug knowing fully well that your parents were the way they are.
Re: CONFUSE- Pls Advice Needed by okirewaju(f): 9:03pm On Jul 28, 2014
It's your choice to make. Are you ready to marry someone that is not of the same faith with you?

You both have been together forr 5 years and while that is commendable na you hold the knife and the yam.

One of you have to bend to the other or go your seperate ways




Be wise, all the best!
Re: CONFUSE- Pls Advice Needed by Nobody: 9:05pm On Jul 28, 2014
okirewaju: It's your choice to make. Are you ready to marry someone that is not of the same faith with you?

You both have been together forr 5 years and while that is commendable na you hold the knife and the yam.

One of you have to bend to the other or go your seperate ways

Be wise, all the best!

none have to bend to their partner, it is only the OP who has to bend to her "family" or move on. this couple has no reason to change a good thing (aka a 5yr r/ship) just to please others.

1 Like

Re: CONFUSE- Pls Advice Needed by publicenemy(m): 9:11pm On Jul 28, 2014
dexterush:
Some nairalanders nd dere badmouth sha... undecided its in you.

its not bad mouth....its just irritating that most people are havig to sacrifice alot for those they care about.religion,family,education and so on and here you are,both of you xtians and the problem now is denomination.

if you both cannot sacrifice that for each other then shouldnt even marry cos there is alot more sacifices to be made in future,

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Re: CONFUSE- Pls Advice Needed by okirewaju(f): 9:26pm On Jul 28, 2014
But she said she is not ready to worship else where neither is the young man ready to do same that's why I said one has to bend for the other. Its either the whole family become catholics or they become members of the op's boyfriend Church
MRbrownJAY:

none have to bend to their partner, it is only the OP who has to bend to her "family" or move on. this couple has no reason to change a good thing (aka a 5yr r/ship) just to please others.
Re: CONFUSE- Pls Advice Needed by dexterush(f): 9:46pm On Jul 28, 2014
[quote author=MRbrownJAY]

that wont solve the problem, far from it....you need to COMMUNICATE with your parents and let them understand that this is YOUR decision and that they cannot dictate your life as an adult. the reason why it is so much pressure is because all this while, you brush off the issue under a rug knowing fully well that your parents were the way they are.[/quote
I brushed it off den cos i didnt see it as an issue cos he is not much of a church goer,so i felt there wont b much problem winning him over.
Re: CONFUSE- Pls Advice Needed by Nobody: 10:03pm On Jul 28, 2014
okirewaju: But she said she is not ready to worship else where neither is the young man ready to do same that's why I said one has to bend for the other. Its either the whole family become catholics or they become members of the op's boyfriend Church

the church issue is NOT the problem, the parents are.....these people were happily dating for 5 yrs and the OP could worship as much as she wanted, so long as she didnt try to enforce that her partner follow in her footsteps (the man is not a church goer). OP had no problem about it and neither did her partner.....the issue only started when parents got involved in their daughter's affairs. so again, the issue is not between the couple, but between OP and her parents.

dexterush: I brushed it off den cos i didnt see it as an issue cos he is not much of a church goer,so i felt there wont b much problem winning him over.

again, then YOU were wrong (in assuming that you could easily win him over), and certainly not your partner.

1 Like

Re: CONFUSE- Pls Advice Needed by dexterush(f): 11:16pm On Jul 28, 2014
jennylove7575: If u love this guy and really want to be with him. Push family matter for corner. Big babes no dey allow family make decision of their heart for them. Abeg bone family marry the guy. As for me, marriage is not my thing.
Fanks babes,strong head activated smiley
Re: CONFUSE- Pls Advice Needed by dexterush(f): 11:18pm On Jul 28, 2014
Fanks to you guys, i knw i cud count on u kiss
Re: CONFUSE- Pls Advice Needed by Moredew(m): 11:37pm On Jul 28, 2014
jennylove7575: If u love this guy and really want to be with him. Push family matter for corner. Big babes no dey allow family make decision of their heart for them. Abeg bone family marry the guy. As for me, marriage is not my thing.
wht nonsense signature is dat are d one dat give wealth. If God decides dat u wont hv money will u.
Re: CONFUSE- Pls Advice Needed by Victorakats(m): 11:51pm On Sep 13, 2014
please can you follow me on twitter on victorakats, i want to make private enquiries with respect to bells stuff. Thanks

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