ThoniaSlim: HELL TO THE N.O. . .NOPE!

There is nothing wrong in making your intentions known but proposing is utter RUBBISH!!!

Me, because I'm very lazy, I don't have that power and patience to be toasting a girl and be enduring her shakara, so I just like any girl that likes me or is attracted to me to just ask me out.. If time passes and we're cool 2geda.. I'l do the Proposing..

If a man propose to me as a man,,,,then who is then the head of the familyshe too

No no no......that isn't how God ordained it......

God said ''a man will leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife and not the other way round

mizBerry1: fine.. Allow a lady propose to you then you start answering her "surname name",you move into her house.And she becomes the head of the house••is that okay by you?

_Bullshit!

The women preaching gender equality don't want to be breadwinners.

There is nothing wrong in that order.

There is nothing wrong ladies proposing to a man. Once that is done, it shows the height of trust, love, and sincerity from the lady's side which will be more advantageous on the man's side. It is only an ungrateful man will take that action as a weakness from the lady's side to use it against her.

@Mad cow That's what I said before....gender equality in other areas...but not in relationships/Marriages/Families..thanks

It's okay, so long as she's ready to pay the bills, because a man can only propose marriage when he's financially ready for such.

With the ways things are going i will simply advice ladies to find a way to propose to neir men in an indirect manner f they can't do it directly.

WHY?

The economy situation of this country is making it so difficult for young men to find their feet and most of our leech mentality ladies are not making things easier for guys.

So these days, guys just want sex partners to cool off not that they don't want to get married but are simply withdrawn because they have come to believe that ladies will only say yes to them if they have the dough.

This is why we see many ladies these days in their thirties still single. So ladies if you know you love that guy you are dating,let him know you are not the money money type else he will just assume you are one of them and after many years of dating,sexing will pass and he will never propose to you. Be wise.

SpencerLewis:
Proper for which belief? That Judeo-Christian belief. In these two religions, women were cheated under the disguise that their God said this or that w/out any verification. These were fallout of primitive Jewish traditional believes which unfortunately was incorporated into their religion. This is worst in Islam, where women are victims of violence (honour killing, rape, adultery etc). However, the op made reference to Indian, where in Hindu tradition the women propose and pay the groom price.

Really? Muslim women are only victims of violence.

adultery and ra.pe only happen in Muslim community? where does Islam allow such in sharia law.

hypocrite!

mizBerry1: @Mad cow That's what I said before....gender equality in other areas...but not in relationships/Marriages/Families..thanks

Why shouldn't there be gender equality in relationships/marriages/families

donpeey22: It's okay, so long as she's ready to pay the bills, because a man can only propose marriage when he's financially ready for such.

You are evry right but its not about readiness to pay his bills but making him understand that she will cope with whatever comes.

She will be ready to cope with you in that single room apartment, be ready to trek that distance with you and be ready to look away from the flashy stuffs of life and most of all be ready to be self reliant and totally independent of you and whatever you become in life.

A man should do what he has to do to provide for the family and not just sit around hoping to get a job or start a business of high capital. Nevertheless, ladies should let the guy in their lives know that she is not the must marry a made guy type so that this guy can be comfortable to marry you and do the wedding in a very moderate way while you both plan for the big wedding later.

I dnt think it's bad in any way. There are trickish ways a woman can use to propose to a man. They kno that better.The trickish ways, i tink is beta dan d direct proposal b'cos d man may take the advantage of dat in maltreating d woman that afterall she imposed herself on him.

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softandsweet: Why not... Its perfectly okay...... Provided it is in the movies...... or the guy is dump and doesn't have hands to write the proposal with his hands meaning he can only nod his head, so you help him out instead. . Or in rare cases where you are willing to be part of a relatively new research to study the marital success of relationships that were founded on the woman proposing instead of the man. And more importantly where the man will say "Yes I Will, oh my God. I will have your last name and move into your house. bla bla bla.....So yeah only then is it okay.

This is how a lady proposes to a guy.

Timmy, don't yu think we should take this affair to a stronger level.

Dare, this our affair sef, i wonder where its leading us.

Kunle, can you imagine, a guy came to my dad asking for my hand in marriage as if we are still living in the olden days and my father was like "whats wrong with that?"


See ladies be wise and i am writing this to send a strong note of warning to you all.

If that guy loves you, he will start talking about settling down with you and if you spend 3 years with a guy and he is still not talking about settling down with you then point him in that direction with the ways i listed above and if he tries to evade that topic then take a walk.

No lady should propose directly, it makes no sense.

rozzay: God forbid bad thing! Haba wetin con remain for my dignity den? My husband will find me like the Bible says nd not d oda way round

lol na nw u go remember what d bible says.see ur mouth.

What if it is Dangote's daughter doing the proposing?....Waiting for response....

[color=#990000][/color]
Anyone dating my future wife should please take it easy on her.... Even if she says ''hit me harder, faster'' or ''tear it'' abeg no mind her..... I use God beg you. nah small pikin dey worry her.

justi4jesu:

I'm pretty into equality and what not, and I find it desperate and weird when a woman proposes to a man.

Isn't that selfish?

booket: lol na nw u go remember what d bible says.see ur mouth.

. Yeeels of cos my dear, e no just possible to kneel down dey ask man - ogbeni will thou marry me. Na taboo b dat o

Louislewis: There is nothing wrong ladies proposing to a man. Once that is done, it shows the height of trust, love, and sincerity from the lady's side which will be more advantageous on the man's side. It is only an ungrateful man will take that action as a weakness from the lady's side to use it against her.

Ifa hear Are you sure ur a Nigerian? Girls here are desperate and if such happens everyone(the man's friends, her friends, family members, the society at large, etc) will just conclude she's only desperate LoBatAN* And in the long-run anything she does that single act would be used against her.

Pavore9: What if it is Dangote's daughter doing the proposing?....Waiting for response....

I will agree for the money and if quarrel start I'll say "To hell with you After all you proposed to me. I wasn't even ready"" and then she'll faint

Well in my opinion Its not right why is
she in a rush, when problem arise in
future d man will say u said u want 2
marry me it wasn't my wish. And at d
same time it makes d woman cheap, if u
are worth d chase d man would propose ad not u. he who finds a wife
not she who find a man ladies be
courteous

I can see a woman asking a man out but proposing, that one na long thing.

I know somebody that did it and in less than 6 months, they were married and are still going strong 5 years on.

Toks2008:

You are evry right but its not about readiness to pay his bills but making him understand that she will cope with whatever comes.

She will be ready to cope with you in that single room apartment, be ready to trek that distance with you and be ready to look away from the flashy stuffs of life and most of all be ready to be self reliant and totally independent of you and whatever you become in life.

A man should do what he has to do to provide for the family and not just sit around hoping to get a job or start a business of high capital. Nevertheless, ladies should let the guy in their lives know that she is not the must marry a made guy type so that this guy can be comfortable to marry you and do the wedding in a very moderate way while you both plan for the big wedding later.

I understand your points, but do we have such ladies in this clime? No! Such can only happen in the western world where most women have come to understand that the essence of their empowerment through equal gender opportunities in education and work, is not another peck from the menfolk to woo them, but to empower them enough to meet their every needs including marital needs. The average Nigerian lady was raised with the mentality that a man is the head of the family and as such should provide for their every needs, so even when the lady is in a position to make financial contribution in her relationship, she sees it as doing her man a great favor despite that she NEEDS the relationship even more than the man. For this reason, a typical Nigerian lady who has a good job and earns fat salary would rather grow old in an endless wait for a man who earns more than her or who's income is atleast at par with hers, instead of stooping to marry a man who earns less, while a typical Nigerian man who earns big would even stoop to marry an unemployed lady. So, you see why a Nigerian lady can't and shouldn't IMHO, propose marriage to a guy? And don't even be deceived by those sweet words of a lady promising to stay with you and take care of herself or make do with the little you have, it doesn't work that way here Nigeria. Atleast not now.

some of naija gals need to be enlighten on this.for Christsake if he posses the type of qualities that u want in a man and also financially stable.then what are u waiting for why not propose to him.we re nw in modern world think and behave in a civilize way.back then at Amsterdam,it's very normal for a girl to propose infact some of my friends were propose by the girlfriends.travelling and education is one of the best way to acquire knowledge,in as much as she is a wife material i dont care if she's poor or unemployed more over most guys don't go for women that crave for power or riches as they cant make a wife material.God i will love and respect her more for that.naija girls are talking about dignity.my dear take dignity out of marriage that how some of u miss your opportunities.we re all educated lets behave in a civilize way.other countries re advancing.

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donpeey22: I understand your points, but do we have such ladies in this clime? No![b] Such can only happen in the western world [/b]where most women have come to understand that the essence of their empowerment through equal gender opportunities in education and work, is not another peck from the menfolk to woo them, but to empower them enough to meet their every needs including marital needs. [b]The average Nigerian lady was raised with the mentality that a man is the head of the family and as such should provide for their every needs, [/b]so even when the lady is in a position to make financial contribution in her relationship, she sees it as doing her man a great favor despite that she NEEDS the relationship even more than the man. For this reason, a typical Nigerian lady who has a good job and earns fat salary would rather grow old in an endless wait for a man who earns more than her or who's income is atleast at par with hers, instead of stooping to marry a man who earns less, while a typical Nigerian man who earns big would even stoop to marry an unemployed lady. So, you see why a Nigerian lady can't and shouldn't IMHO, propose marriage to a guy?

I concur to the bold phrases

This is unfortunately why many Nigerian ladies will remain single for a long time.

Look at the big men today, the Jonathans, Abiola of blessed memory,the atijus, the the Oyedepos, you will see that their wives met them when they were nothing but these days most ladies want a guy that will provide her every needs and this is so appalling and disdainful. Our ladies need re orientation else its going to be a sorry case for many of them.

A lady can point a man's initiative towards settling down with her but should never propose directly to a man for marriage.


Hard fact file for the Nigerian ladies.

If you really want to marry for the right reason and raise a successful family then you must stop putting your future or that of your unborn children into the hands of a man.

There is absolutely nothing bad in asking a man who wants to be part of your life about what he does for a living and stuffs like that but wait, what if he is jobless? what if he does not even know where the next meal will come from? will you still accept his love advances?

Oh wait i know you wil tell me yes because as long as he has a drive, a zeal and he believes,,,SHUT THE BLEEP UP GIRL!

What tha hell is wrong with our ladies? is love about what he is or what he will become in future?

What if that dream of his does not materialize? what if he finds a job for the next 20years and still unfortunate? what if ...

The point is that as a lady you must not be so silly and foolish to always want to hinge your life,on who that man is or what a man can offer you. It is sickening, it is disdainful and it is very demeaning when i hear any lady say "i can't go out with a man who can not take care of me" you are a dumb bofun girl.and a hopeless one at that.

What is wrong in taking care of yourself? what is wrong in you achieving success in life?why can't you have the independent mindset and become a go getter? why have this parasitic mentality that its a man that must provide for you, the children, the home-front, buy you a car, establish a business for you and some even have a more sorry mindset that makes them depend on a man for virtually everything.

If he does not give you upkeep money your life remains stagnant, if he does not pay the school fees of the children then they will stay home, you will have to depend on him for hair do,body cream,even the cloths you wear,your undies and even sanitary pad.YOU MUST BE SICK.

This is why our men in Nigeria now run to Ghana and other countries to marry because outside the shores of this country where most ladies depend on a man for survival, our guys get just the exact opposite and in the western world as well as neighboring countries.

Unlike in Nigeria where MOST ladies set a standard as regards the man they want in their lives in respect to financial status, in the western world as well as some other African countries,,a lady will love you for the sole aim of love.

1.They don't ask silly questions of what do you do for a living and infact you will be the one to tell them yourself and they tell you they care less.

2. Countries where sweet classy chics will love you not minding if you are a bus conductor,bar tender,sweeper,gate man,maid or out-rightly jobless.

3. Countries where a lady will hardly ask you to bring money for any thing as she is totally independent.

4. Countries where a lady will love you deeply and respect you till the day you grow old and die even if you remain a poor man unlike here where many ladies will run out of their relationships and marriages simply because you can't take care of her and the children.

5.Countries where a lady will support your dream no matter what unlike here where a lady will tell you to your face "i can't marry a chef or can't marry a band man"

6. Here most ladies will want you to take care of the family come what may but in most other countries the woman gladly takes up the duty without putting a strain on you.After-all she never even considered it your sole duty ever before she agreed to be with you.

I can continue writing on the menace most of our ladies have become to our men.

Most of our ladies no longer marry because of love. Most of our ladies prefer to get a rich man and remain unhappy with him than to be happy with a poor man just like a lady said 'i prefer to cry in a hummer jeep than to be happy on an okada" can you beat that?

When a western lady says she loves you then believe she does and has nothing to do with who or what you are and when a western lady divorces you then be sure it has nothing to do with materialism.

The bottom line is that until our ladies learn to love a man and stay with a man for the purpose of love, there will be no ending to the ever growing trend of marital unhappiness

Worst still, most unmarried Nigerian men have sworn that they will be fulfilled in life materially before marrying any Nigerian lady and this has contributed immensely to the growing number of overdue unmarried ladies.

Don't get it twisted, we have quite a handful of decent Nigerian ladies who are disciplined, focused and 100% independent of a man's status or material offer but except we want to fool ourselves then we will deny that most of our ladies belong to the other group.

GOD HELP US

OliverPin: I will agree for the money and if quarrel start I'll say "To hell with you After all you proposed to me. I wasn't even ready"" and then she'll faint

lf she faints na for Police headquarters Abuja u go faint!