SAMBARRY: Tv all this grammar because of sec



by the way you dey sell television? Why do you always put tv in your name

i have lost quite a few pounds pondering on the matter

5minsmadness:

It got me thinking about s.exu.al compatibility in marriage. How important is it? How often is too often? I think sex 3times a week is OK. What do you think?

I think it all comes down to communication. If one partner is not happy with a situation, they should discuss it with the other person involved not with some guy at the office.

How often is too often should be discussed between the two of them. They can come to an agreement that is satisfactory for both of them.

I don't believe 3x a week is unreasonable.

damiso:


I have always said I can't speak English I am going to consult my dictionary in order to understand this post

walahi, you no go kill me with laughter........wetin you know understand here now
Abeg, TV01, ride on jare, i'm really gbadunning you, i enjoys reading your posts.



@post, communication is the key, any partner who feels unsatisfied should communicate with his/her partner, and then, a little compromise won't be a bad idea too.

greatgod2012:


walahi, you no go kill me with laughter........wetin you know understand here now
Abeg, TV01, ride on jare, i'm really gbadunning you, i enjoys reading your posts.



@post, communication is the key, any partner who feels unsatisfied should communicate with his/her partner, and then, a little compromise won't be a bad idea too.

Aunty na jelosinmi I go all these big big grammar e.g. 'Bio-mechanical intimate function' 'male-female intimate binary' amongst others oro amba ara wa sun yii Abi Imi (on top this intimacy talk)

Don't mind me jare TV01 actually writes like my late Dad oyinbo ti poju (English too much).I agree with his summary though which is that intimate issues should be tailored to a couple's individuals preferences with communication being key like you said.

greatgod2012:


walahi, you no go kill me with laughter........wetin you know understand here now
Abeg, TV01, ride on jare, i'm really gbadunning you, i enjoys reading your posts.



@post, communication is the key, any partner who feels unsatisfied should communicate with his/her partner, and then, a little compromise won't be a bad idea too.

can you elaborate?

coogar:

this is why test-driving is mandatory for any sane man - especially if he's getting married to a nigerian woman. if she's not good enough for your taste, dump her & seek another.

majority of the nigerian ladies have the libidö of a shoe. the stress, the house chores & various other conditions they passed through growing up may have eroded their sex drive.

here you guys get it wrong.test drive does not mean sexual needs met!many complaints come from those who indeed had test drives.intimacy in the marital I statehood.. is a totally different set up.
it is not premarital.overture,not a one night stand.
what you seek comes attached to a human being who faces other value which affect marital Intimacy and this is what pawns out in many homes

Op what exactly do you wish to achieve.Are you encouraging promiscuity in these days of hiv, ebola and other sundry diseases.

You can talk about it.Tell her you are the active type and ask if 3-5x a week is okay by her. You neednt sleep with her to determine that.

baralatie: here you guys get it wrong.test drive does not mean sexual needs met!many complaints come from those who indeed had test drives.intimacy in the marital I statehood.. is a totally different set up.
it is not premarital.overture,not a one night stand.
what you seek comes attached to a human being who faces other value which affect marital Intimacy and this is what pawns out in many homes

i don't understand what you are saying....

coogar:

i don't understand what you are saying....

let me make it plain
1.premarital.sex does not mean sexual satisfaction when eventually one gets married.
2.the marital institution sees sex differently.it is not the same way you share intimacy in one night stands,or with girlfriends.
3.the parts used for intimacy are directly connected to a complete person with feelings,values etc and these build pressure.
4.not all imagined fantansies about she.x is wholly considered satisfying by the wives of some husbands.

coogar:

i don't understand what you are saying....

let me make it plain
1.premarital.sex does not mean sexual satisfaction when eventually one gets married.
2.the marital institution sees sex differently.it is not the same way you share intimacy in one night stands,or with girlfriends.
3.the parts used for intimacy are directly connected to a complete person with feelings,values etc and these build pressure.
4.not all imagined fantansies about she.x is wholly considered satisfying by the wives of some husbands.

baralatie:
let me make it plain
1.premarital.sex does not mean sexual satisfaction when eventually one gets married.

says who?
if the premarital sex is crap, why marry the crappy partner in the first place? i would rather know what i am dealing with for the rest of my life rather than playing lottery with my future partner.

2.the marital institution sees sex differently.it is not the same way you share intimacy in one night stands,or with girlfriends.

maybe in nigeria....
the marital institution where i am at sees sex the way it is with girlfriends and whoever. my newlywed neighbours have been having noisy sex in their bedroom balcony all summer.

3.the parts used for intimacy are directly connected to a complete person with feelings,values etc and these build pressure.

huh??

4.not all imagined fantansies about she.x is wholly considered satisfying by the wives of some husbands.

then why marry such frigid women? that's exactly the point here, isn't it? if they had test-driven, both partners would have known the dos & don'ts. if things won't work out, let them go their separate ways. if my wife isn't satisfied with my cravings, she's in trouble.

coogar:

says who?
if the premarital sex is crap, why marry the crappy partner in the first place? i would rather know what i am dealing with for the rest of my life rather than playing lottery with my future partner.



maybe in nigeria....
the marital institution where i am at sees sex the way it is with girlfriends and whoever. my newlywed neighbours have been having noisy sex in their bedroom balcony all summer.



huh??



then why marry such frigid women? that's exactly the point here, isn't it? if they had test-driven, both partners would have known the dos & don'ts. if things won't work out, let them go their separate ways. if my wife isn't satisfied with my cravings, she's in trouble.

how do you define the type of intimate relationship you have with your wife?is it banging a striper or like meeting a quickly or all are the same!

does a gr8 she.x oriented girl mean you can marry her

taking into. consideration the hype of sex in other countries like Briton and its allies,why are reports suggesting that some couples are sexu.ally not satisfied.despite been engaged in premarital sex.

baralatie:
how do you define the type of intimate relationship you have with your wife?is it banging a striper or like meeting a quickly or all are the same!

you don't expect me to be reeling that out here, do you? it's just compatibility. 2 like- minds with the same level of libïdo. we both want it when we want it. no excuses of headache, stress or whatnot!

does a gr8 she.x oriented girl mean you can marry her

if she's not good in bed, then she's not good enough for me to marry. all other good qualities she's got is useless to me.

taking into. consideration the hype of sex in other countries like Briton and its allies,why are reports suggesting that some couples are sexu.ally not satisfied.despite been engaged in premarital sex.

that's because most people don't know what they want. if they are not sexüally satisfied, why marry her? if i know my woman is a log of wood but decided to marry her regardless, who am i to complain later that she's not good in bed?

coogar:

you don't expect me to be reeling that out here, do you? it's just compatibility. 2 like- minds with the same level of libïdo. we both want it when we want it. no excuses of headache, stress or whatnot!



if she's not good in bed, then she's not good enough for me to marry. all other good qualities she's got is useless to me.



that's because most people don't know what they want. if they are not sexüally satisfied, why marry her? if i know my woman is a log of wood but decided to marry her regardless, who am i to complain later that she's not good in bed?

to you the only thing you want from your wife is s.exual satisfaction!

coogar:

you don't expect me to be reeling that out here, do you? it's just compatibility. 2 like- minds with the same level of libïdo. we both want it when we want it. no excuses of headache, stress or whatnot!



if she's not good in bed, then she's not good enough for me to marry. all other good qualities she's got is useless to me.



that's because most people don't know what they want. if they are not sexüally satisfied, why marry her? if i know my woman is a log of wood but decided to marry her regardless, who am i to complain later that she's not good in bed?

GBAM!!!

baralatie: here you guys get it wrong.test drive does not mean sexual needs met!many complaints come from those who indeed had test drives.intimacy in the marital I statehood.. is a totally different set up. it is not premarital.overture,not a one night stand. what you seek comes attached to a human being who faces other value which affect marital Intimacy and this is what pawns out in many homes

coogar: i don't understand what you are saying....

baralatie: let me make it plain
1.premarital.sex does not mean sexual satisfaction when eventually one gets married.
2.the marital institution sees sex differently.it is not the same way you share intimacy in one night stands,or with girlfriends.
3.the parts used for intimacy are directly connected to a complete person with feelings,values etc and these build pressure.
4.not all imagined fantansies about she.x is wholly considered satisfying by the wives of some husbands.

coogar: says who?
if the premarital sex is crap, why marry the crappy partner in the first place? i would rather know what i am dealing with for the rest of my life rather than playing lottery with my future partner.

Coogar me old mucker, I'm afraid bro' Balaratie is pretty much spot on here. For the reasons as noted and the "female imperative"

coogar:
maybe in nigeria....
the marital institution where i am at sees sex the way it is with girlfriends and whoever. my newlywed neighbours have been having noisy sex in their bedroom balcony all summer.

Not much difference between pre-marital and newlywed shaggin'. Especially if it's before kids and the marriage dynamic proper sets in.

coogar:
then why marry such frigid women? that's exactly the point here, isn't it? if they had test-driven, both partners would have known the dos & don'ts. if things won't work out, let them go their separate ways. if my wife isn't satisfied with my cravings, she's in trouble.

Evenif you discard a GF after determining the coupling is not up to scratch, it does not follow that if it is, it will continue to remain so after marriage.

Shall we take this to the man cave? It's about time we touched on hypergamy and the feminine imperative in more detail. It's actually quite dangerous for men to marry wothout being fully aware of this.


TV

TV01:
Coogar me old mucker, I'm afraid bro' Balaratie is pretty much spot on here. For the reasons as noted and the "female imperative"

haha!

Not much difference between pre-marital and newlywed shaggin'. Especially if it's before kids and the marriage dynamic proper sets in.

thought so too!

Evenif you discard a GF after determining the coupling is not up to scratch, it does not follow that if it is, it will continue to remain so after marriage.

but i would be in a much safer place knowing she was once good at it......rather than going ahead with a woman that has never been good at it & expecting miracles to happen after marriage. i would be a hypocrite if i complain about her performance after knowing she has never been up to scratch.

Shall we take this to the man cave? It's about time we touched on hypergamy and the feminine imperative in more detail. It's actually quite dangerous for men to marry without being fully aware of this.

TV

hypergamy is an interesting topic. women rarely accept it exists or they try to make you think it was never thought about during their selection process.

coogar:
haha!
thought so too!

...if anything newlywed 2backbeastin' should get progressively better - for a time...

coogar: but i would be in a much safer place knowing she was once good at it......rather than going ahead with a woman that has never been good at it & expecting miracles to happen after marriage. i would be a hypocrite if i complain about her performance after knowing she has never been up to scratch.

...point! But it's still no guarantee and frigidity can be dealt with...

coogar: hypergamy is an interesting topic. women rarely accept it exists or they try to make you think it was never thought about during their selection process.

...for most women, sex is first and foremost a means to an end. For most men, it is an end in itself. Many women go about their ways instinctively and often are not consciously aware why. It's why you have the "just follow your heart" mantra and it's variants. Seemingly all about feelings , but in truth it's the FI kicking in.

The feminine imperative is largely about getting a man to invest in them and their children. Nesting basically. For the most part sex is secondary, or something to help them secure what they want.

Once a woman has got the man and the children, it takes a lot of desire and effort to keep the urge (and the figure) for sex. In fact where there are competing interests on her time, sex will typically take a back seat.

Ask any of the married women here if sex got more vigourous or frequent after the advent of a child, talkless children. Don't get me wrong, it can still hit the heights and there can still be frenzied bouts.

But it's not like a plane on a 10'000 mile journey, taking off, climbing to 38'000 feet, and then crusing at the altitude until just before landing. Any man that thinks that's how his sex life will play out over the course of his marriage needs an ice dousing and a slap with a wet fish to sharply reset his expectations.

Lots of things can help sha!


TV

TV01:
...if anything newlywed 2backbeastin' should get progressively better - for a time...

it must get better till the end of time o!

...point! But it's still no guarantee and frigidity can be dealt with...

frigidity can be dealt with? how? where's the time to start taking housewife for sex therapy sessions?

...for most women, sex is first and foremost a means to an end. For most men, it is an end in itself. Many women go about their ways instinctively and often are not consciously aware why. It's why you have the "just follow your heart" mantra and it's variants. Seemingly all about feelings , but in truth it's the FI kicking in.

women should shape up then! so what's a man to do then? no wonder marital infidelity is almost inevitable.

The feminine imperative is largely about getting a man to invest in them and their children. Nesting basically. For the most part sex is secondary, or something to help them secure what they want.

Once a woman has got the man and the children, it takes a lot of desire and effort to keep the urge (and the figure) for sex. In fact where there are competing interests on her time, sex will typically take a back seat.

Ask any of the married women here if sex got more vigourous or frequent after the advent of a child, talkless children. Don't get me wrong, it can still hit the heights and there can still be frenzied bouts.

time to start investing in potent aphrodisiacs to slip in my wife's dinner plate. sex taking a back seat is a no-no! what's the essence of marriage then if what is meant to be freely enjoyed is being rationed?

But it's not like a plane on a 10'000 mile journey, taking off, climbing to 38'000 feet, and then crusing at the altitude until just before landing. Any man that thinks that's how his sex life will play out over the course of his marriage needs an ice dousing and a slap with a wet fish to sharply reset his expectations.

Lots of things can help sha!

TV

that's my expectation and we men should start demanding our expectation from our partners. why should we accept the status quo. women can't continue to frown at polygyny & marital infidelity and still deny their husbands at home.

if a woman feels she can no longer meet her husband's needs then she should be a sarah. she should get extra hands like a maiden for her husband. men are being shortchanged with this arrangement & it's now clear why many men in our generation are shunning marriage.

Double post

TV01:
Lots of things can help sha!

Like what pls?



There's a strong rumour going on about one of our managers who works downstairs. She got one of these calabar house helps and it is said her husband got the girl pregnant. Her initial action was to drive the girl home after making sure she aborted the pregnancy. But do you know she started complaining that she missed the girl cos the girl was really hardworking and kept the house clean and condusive for her, the kids and her husband. As I type this the calabar girl is back in the house by madam's request and I hear husband, wife and housegirl have an "understanding"

pls oh, I didn't mention any names oh, if you read this and think you know d couple am talking about you are on your own!

coogar: it must get better till the end of time o!

Very unlikely. Women are much more "fragile", are more easily subject to "mood driven desire" and don't have a pure "sex imperative" like men.

The vagaries of marriage and life generally mean they have a less desire, less consistent desire and more frequent dips. They have less testosterone, are more prone to illness, suffer through childbirth and are more likely to have reproductive illnesses. Think fibroids, endemetriosis, vagismus, various discharges and sundry ailments.

The flight path I described, most men would be more than able to do live with that, it's mostly the women that mean flying consistently at that altitude is not really likely.

coogar: frigidity can be dealt with? how? where's the time to start taking housewife for sex therapy sessions?

It's a long term deal. Even if not frigidity, you are almost certainly going to encounter some "turbulence ". Many that may affect libido.

coogar: women should shape up then! so what's a man to do then? no wonder marital infidelity is almost inevitable.

Agree about women shaping up, but men have to support them.

And yes, it's absolutely why a lot of fidelity happens. Men have these unrealistic expectations and then look outside when they are not met.

Better set expectations and real commitment would greatly reduce the levels of infidelity. And I can't stress getting a wife that you "fancy die" as well. That helps animate your commitment with motivation.

I think marrying a significantly younger wife helps in a lot of ways. Not least because as the man matures he gets less demanding, more appreciative and more indulgent. Without being prescriptive I think 8 - 12 is good. A gym culture without your propmting is real good as well. Assuming the man is taking good physical care of himself, otherwise it could backfire.

coogar: time to start investing in potent aphrodisiacs to slip in my wife's dinner plate. sex taking a back seat is a no-no! what's the essence of marriage then if what is meant to be freely enjoyed is being rationed?

Aphrodisi wetin? Hmmm...I suppose, but I wouldn't.

And don't marry a player, digga, glorified runs girl, ex sugary mama, feminist...actually, it's prolly easier to say what you should marry !

"A younger woman, from a good home, with strong faith and moral values, who is fit, healthy, well endowed, highly accocmplished and a virgin to boot"

And then Captain, expect a routine flight, but be prepared to manage your flight path.

coogar: that's my expectation and we men should start demanding our expectation from our partners. why should we accept the status quo. women can't continue to frown at polygyny & marital infidelity and still deny their husbands at home.

Male female expectations for sex during the course of a normal marriage will rarely match.

coogar: if a woman feels she can no longer meet her husband's needs then she should be a sarah. she should get extra hands like a maiden for her husband. men are being shortchanged with this arrangement & it's now clear why many men in our generation are shunning marriage.

I said some things can help. Money is one of these. Outsource as much as possible so wifey can focus on hubby. The current culture of both parents working back-breaking hours just to make ends meet does no thelp.

Men are shunning marriage because it's increasingly a bad-deal for them - apart from sex. Most men would still prefer to marry and have a side-chick, than not marry and have a harem of side-chicks.

I am not championing polygamy, side-chicks or runs. Just the right setting of expectations.


TV

5minsmadness: Like what pls?

I think I've mentioned pretty much all in my response to coogar.


TV

.

TV01:

I think I've mentioned pretty much all in my response to coogar.


TV

OK seen them. Thanks.
Reading about the "female imperative" for the first time. Makes a lot of sense.

5minsmadness: Reading about the "female imperative" for the first time. Makes a lot of sense.

Women are not hard to understand. The key is not asking women what women want. They'll tell you what they think you want to hear or what they believe will make them sound good.


TV

5minsmadness: A colleague at the office is complaining that his wife doesn't satisfy him in bed. He says he wants it at least three times a week but she on the other hand is content with twice a month. They have been married two years and have a kid.


Another colleague confided that her husband is the dry one in their romance life. She confessed that whenever she's in the mood she either spikes his drink or mixes 'manpower' with his food.

It got me thinking about s.exu.al compatibility in marriage. How important is it? How often is too often? I think sex 3times a week is OK. What do you think?

Sex should be an act of intimate love making with several styles to spice it up.not d old missionary style.always do soetin new and advenrturous that wil make u long for each other even wen u av misunderstandings.
Sex 6 times a week is not a bad idea,its either an early morning quickie or a sweet night collision wuld do.

It depend on how u make of it#myopinion#

TV01:
...if anything newlywed 2backbeastin' should get progressively better - for a time...


...point! But it's still no guarantee and frigidity can be dealt with...


...for most women, sex is first and foremost a means to an end. For most men, it is an end in itself. Many women go about their ways instinctively and often are not consciously aware why. It's why you have the "just follow your heart" mantra and it's variants. Seemingly all about feelings , but in truth it's the FI kicking in.

The feminine imperative is largely about getting a man to invest in them and their children. Nesting basically. For the most part sex is secondary, or something to help them secure what they want.

Once a woman has got the man and the children, it takes a lot of desire and effort to keep the urge (and the figure) for sex. In fact where there are competing interests on her time, sex will typically take a back seat.

Ask any of the married women here if sex got more vigourous or frequent after the advent of a child, talkless children. Don't get me wrong, it can still hit the heights and there can still be frenzied bouts.

But it's not like a plane on a 10'000 mile journey, taking off, climbing to 38'000 feet, and then crusing at the altitude until just before landing. Any man that thinks that's how his sex life will play out over the course of his marriage needs an ice dousing and a slap with a wet fish to sharply reset his expectations.

Lots of things can help sha!


TV

TV, are you talking about your wife and marriage?

carefreewannabe: TV, are you talking about your wife and marriage?

Yes to a degree. And yours too when you finally get there !

TV

^{**he said to me...he said; "there are some things I wish l knew about before marriage", to which l replied "there are some things you can't know about until you are married"** ...do quick CFW}

TV01:
Yes to a degree. And yours too when you finally get there !

TV

^{**he said to me...he said; "there are some things I wish l knew about before marriage", to which l replied "there are some things you can't know about until you are married"** ...do quick CFW}

If and when.

Until then I will contradict statements like this one:

...for most women, sex is first and foremost a means to an end.

You are not a woman and you don't know most women. And the fact that MANY women have a lower libido after giving birth has different reasons.

I am quite sensitive when it comes to generalisations of this kind.


Never mind.

carefreewannabe: If and when.

And if you do, unless you are innured from the common things that come upon married couples, prepare yourself !

carefreewannabe: Until then I will contradict statements like this one:

Contradict is not the same as disprove.

carefreewannabe: You are not a woman and you don't know most women. And the fact that MANY women have a lower libido after giving birth has different reasons.

You are a woman and you don't know most women either. Your point being?

And whatever the reason for some women having lower libido after birth, the fact remains that many have it. You still have not disproved it.

And it's but one of the many reasons why libido may drop in women. Along with those for causing a drop in men

carefreewannabe: I am quite sensitive when it comes to generalisations of this kind.

Why? Simply debunk them if they are wrong. Otherwise your "sensitivity" avails nothing.

carefreewannabe: Never mind.

Honestly, I don't .


TV

ephee:
Sex should be an act of intimate love making with several styles to spice it up.not d old missionary style.always do soetin new and advenrturous that wil make u long for each other even wen u av misunderstandings.
Sex 6 times a week is not a bad idea,its either an early morning quickie or a sweet night collision wuld do.

It depend on how u make of it#myopinion#

i wish all the nigerian ladies have this kinda mentality but na lie. eba & ewedu have eroded the sex drive of the majority of them.