A Female Nairalander Needs Your Advice - Politics - Nairaland
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| A Female Nairalander Needs Your Advice by Beazy(f): 10:16am On Aug 11, 2014 |
Dear Nairalander Readers: I’m Supoosed To Marry In Oct. But Another Woman Is Pregnant For My Man..What should I do? From a female Nairlander reader I have fixed my wedding for October here in the UK but I just found out that another lady is pregnant for my fiance back home in Nigeria. She’s six months pregnant, due to give birth in October, same month I am getting married. To say that I am devastated is putting it mildly. I am so hurt that I’ve shut myself from the outside world. I am now so confused as to what to do. He has been begging me since I found out not to cancel the wedding. The pregnant lady actually contacted me via Facebook to tell me she’s having my man’s baby and when I confronted him, he didn’t deny it. I have been with this man for three and a half years and all my family and friends have contributed one way or another to this wedding. The invitations haven’t gone out yet, but all our people know the wedding is for October. I am so confused. Should I cancel the wedding? My female friends are telling me not to but surprisingly, my mum wants me to.What should I do? |
| Re: A Female Nairalander Needs Your Advice by Nobody: 10:18am On Aug 11, 2014 |
I will have to know his stake on the oda woman before I can advise but in the absence of that....i dont think you shld go ahead with the wedding just yet....try and ask yourself if you can forgive him totally and trust him again if not....the ball is in your court |
| Re: A Female Nairalander Needs Your Advice by Jakumo(m): 10:27am On Aug 11, 2014 |
Polygamy is both legal and tolerated in Nigeria, Beazy, thanks in no small part to the Arab religion embraced by many there, so most Nigerian men of all religious persuasions, regard it as a matrimonial right to stray away from their better half for some nookie on the side where the grass appears greener, every once in a while, just to show their drinking buddies that they are still a virile young buck at heart. If you can arrive at some sort of an "understanding" with your groom-to-be, about the need for him to be, ahem, safe, during all his "consultations" while out in the field, as it were, then there is no reason why you should not enjoy a long and harmonious marriage blessed with brilliant kids. That'll be ten dollars cash for my free advice. Thanks in advance. 2 Likes |
| Re: A Female Nairalander Needs Your Advice by Queendo(f): 10:29am On Aug 11, 2014 |
I think u shld cancel d wedding. Tank God d secret was revealed b4 d wedding. He's not worth u. What gav d stupid preg woman d guts to contact u means she knows abt u and ur man. Most importantly is pray abt d situation. |
| Re: A Female Nairalander Needs Your Advice by Nobody: 10:35am On Aug 11, 2014 |
Go get pregnant for another man too ... 1:1 4 Likes |
| Re: A Female Nairalander Needs Your Advice by Demdem(m): 10:38am On Aug 11, 2014 |
First and foremost, take this thread to the right section. Over here we strictly discuss Jonathan stupidity in governance. Goodluck to u. 16 Likes |
| Re: A Female Nairalander Needs Your Advice by olapluto(m): 10:41am On Aug 11, 2014 |
Why should you cancel your wedding? Did he say he wants to marry the other woman? My dear, its your cross, so you should carry it gracefully. If you have the intention of being with another man, then pls leave him. If you love him, and he loves you pls stay. The pregnant lady is trying to boss you and you have to be ballsy and possess your possession. Not many good men out there. Especially in UK. BTW...can I get an invite to the wedding (cos am sure you wont cancel it) 3 Likes |
| Re: A Female Nairalander Needs Your Advice by okenwa(m): 10:41am On Aug 11, 2014 |
1. That a woman is pregnant for a man does not mean "she is going to be his wife" in future. 2. If the man has not wedded the lady, the man is not obligated to her.....but only to the unborn child.(if indeed he got her pregnant...nija girls have tactics a lot ) 3. It is even better now that you are aware of the unborn child....than going into marriage blindly. 4. Are you comfortable with polygamy? 5. Will you accept the child to your home? If the woman want to move on with her life? 5. Why did you even allow your relationship to the man to last this long without marriage? TO THE MAN 1. Which of the lady do you want for wife? Home or Abroad? 2. Was the lady at home forced on you by your parent of you pregnated her unaware? 3. Do you want the lady abroad because you want your citizenship abroad? Or you want kids that are " citizens"? 4. Make an urgent choice quickly? Pls |
| Re: A Female Nairalander Needs Your Advice by thorpido(m): 10:42am On Aug 11, 2014 |
Go ahead with the wedding at your own risk.You will be getting married to an unstable man. 1 Like |
| Re: A Female Nairalander Needs Your Advice by Jakumo(m): 10:44am On Aug 11, 2014 |
Demdem: First and foremost, take this thread to the right section. Translating the above passage into the English language, the writer is expressing his RABID support for the continuation of Nigerian President Johnny B. Goode's tenure beyond 2015, and on to 2019 without interruption. Furthermore, Mr. Demdem attempted to convey his obviously wrong impression that politics has no place in marriage, and vice-versa. 2 Likes |
| Re: A Female Nairalander Needs Your Advice by whitecat007: 10:46am On Aug 11, 2014 |
Abeg get drunk and marry him to spite the street corner incubator joo! She had the gut to contact you just in time so you can cancel the wedding, right? Yes! Now show her that you are the Queen B, afterall you don't know if the the next man is made of the worst of beasts. 1 Like |
| Re: A Female Nairalander Needs Your Advice by prologue: 10:51am On Aug 11, 2014 |
dicey... issues like, safety first. Am a guy, some times, there are minutes of madness... but common sense is the recollection of prejudices at such moments. Not Taking precaution/protection is grossly rascal and criminal abandonment of self preservation. for d act itself, we fall sometimes, truly. your husband to be should have a disposition to honour what has been built. if u can't live with " this" situation, better stand back. some women are desperate. was he inebriated? try n have a balanced judgement. No perfect persons. heaven or hell depends on your views. look out for intents and the ideological creed on which persons habitually acts... people don't really change outside these lines. They rather pretend. Wishing you the best in and of life. Gracias |
| Re: A Female Nairalander Needs Your Advice by Nobody: 11:03am On Aug 11, 2014 |
Cancel the damn wedding. Tell everyone the guy died in an accident. Painful but you gats to move on 1 Like |
| Re: A Female Nairalander Needs Your Advice by BoiledCorn: 11:08am On Aug 11, 2014 |
Obiagelli: Cancel the damn wedding. Tell everyone the guy died in an accident. Painful but you gats to move on  |
| Re: A Female Nairalander Needs Your Advice by lakpalakpa: 11:13am On Aug 11, 2014 |
@op If your silly self and your senseless husband or maybe his "spare tyre" are not Politicians or Political office holders then this thread has no place here.  1 Like |
| Re: A Female Nairalander Needs Your Advice by Jakumo(m): 11:15am On Aug 11, 2014 |
lakpalakpa: @op These are the angry words of a man who does NOT get enough nookie, or who CANNOT road-test a new model whenever he would like to do so. 1 Like |
| Re: A Female Nairalander Needs Your Advice by lakpalakpa: 11:18am On Aug 11, 2014 |
Jakumo: If i met your gal you‘ll be an Ex in a few days time..  |
| Re: A Female Nairalander Needs Your Advice by Jakumo(m): 11:19am On Aug 11, 2014 |
lakpalakpa: She is kept under close guard to prevent this sort of coup-de-tat from occurring. 1 Like |
| Re: A Female Nairalander Needs Your Advice by Nobody: 11:29am On Aug 11, 2014 |
And people insult 2 face for having children everywhere. Op if u can't stand the heat. U better run. It is not advisable for a young girl to become a second wife or marry a man that has baby mama issue. Second wife is only good when the man is older and more than capable and Unless the baby mama is married to someone else. If the baby mama is unmarried it is highly likely that your husband will still be doing her anytime he goes for visitation secretly or openly and she would get pregnant again. . Its the same reason why 2 face kept having children anyhow. It was solely because his baby mamas had no husband. Don't be surprised if one of his baby mamas gets pregnant again. Its just the way it is. It might not be the man's wish but women are dangerous when they are desperate. Even if the other woman says she just wants the man to accept the child. I can bet that if the woman doesn't see any man to marry her she will find a way back to the man's life and have other kids for him. She wouldn't even mind if both of them don't marry. Its a complicated thing. If u can't deal wiv it. U better run. Don't come back and cry foul. |
| Re: A Female Nairalander Needs Your Advice by Lorlaahlozz: 12:01pm On Aug 11, 2014 |
Operation cancel d wedding ni |
| Re: A Female Nairalander Needs Your Advice by nduchucks: 12:12pm On Aug 11, 2014 |
@Op, you obviously love the man or you wouldn't have been planning to marry him. I hate to be on the same side with Jakumo, the guy who goes bonkers at the name calling of one general, but I must suggest to you to pay close attention to his suggestions. Note that over 50% of the so-called "clean" marriages end up divorce and 99% of them will contain elements of infidelity, primarily on the part of 'rabbitious' (ehoro libito) males. |
| Re: A Female Nairalander Needs Your Advice by yomexp(m): 12:15pm On Aug 11, 2014 |
there is no point going ahead with the wedding since he wasn't man enough to confess he had another woman who is pregnant for him in nigeria. come to think of it, had you not found out about the pregnancy now you probably would be coursing your luck several years later into the marriage and by then it would have too late and you would have no choice but to endure for however long. Now answer this question truthfully. 1. will you still be happy for the rest of your with this relationship even after having discovered the truth? 2 why should you go ahead with this marriage 3. what other choices do you have 4. what will be your regrets going ahead and vice versa remember also that you will be the one alone to live in that marriage not any of us nor any member of you family. so it's your call. |
| Re: A Female Nairalander Needs Your Advice by otalenu(m): 12:44pm On Aug 11, 2014 |
You have three options to make concerning your problem: 1. You go ahead to marry the guy all in the name of what people will say and get stuck for life; 2. You marry him and accept the kid as well; 3. You set yourself free NOW by canceling the wedding. It's all left to you, but do remember that LOVE is not blind o, e dey see well well. Ire o |
| Re: A Female Nairalander Needs Your Advice by Nobody: 1:57pm On Aug 11, 2014 |
Beazy: Dear Nairalander Readers: I’m Supoosed To Marry In Oct. But Another Woman Is Pregnant For My Man..What should I do?is dis ow much u crave attention? taking glory for another person's problem, dis story started off on lijdaikeji's blog b4 oda local media started copying it without giving credence to the source. nawa 4 u, using som1's predicament to get one useless attention |
| Re: A Female Nairalander Needs Your Advice by Beazy(f): 3:17pm On Aug 11, 2014 |
prettyboi1989:Story for the qods...Do you know where lindakeji or wat ever copied et from ??And besides I was naht referring to mysef....I said A NAIRALANDER...So next Open your eyes widely before you comment.... |
| Re: A Female Nairalander Needs Your Advice by MzJackBaueress(f): 3:25pm On Aug 11, 2014 |
Demdem: First and foremost, take this thread to the right section.LWKMD!! |
| Re: A Female Nairalander Needs Your Advice by reborn1: 5:25pm On Aug 11, 2014 |
Demdem: First and foremost, take this thread to the right section.
|
| Re: A Female Nairalander Needs Your Advice by danot1030: 5:47pm On Aug 11, 2014 |
Call off the wedding and move ur life forward, a broken courtship is better than putting up wit a dishonest man. As it is ur man is a playboy and u wouldn't know if there is another lady somewhere either pregnant for him or not that he's keeping from u, getting into marriage with such culd be too risky a game to gamble except if u know u have d type of shock absolver Anni has to cope wit 2baba. |
| Re: A Female Nairalander Needs Your Advice by chiefinalowo: 5:54pm On Aug 11, 2014 |
Jakumo: Polygamy is both legal and tolerated in Nigeria, Beazy, thanks in no small part to the Arab religion embraced by many there, so most Nigerian men of all religious persuasions, regard it as a matrimonial right to stray away from their better half for some nookie on the side where the grass appears greener, every once in a while, just to show their drinking buddies that they are still a virile young buck at heart. God bless you. I am a proud polygamist. One woman, one child |
| Re: A Female Nairalander Needs Your Advice by Nobody: 5:59pm On Aug 11, 2014 |
Beazy: Story for the qods...Do you know where lindakeji or wat ever copied et from ??And besides I was naht referring to mysef....I said A NAIRALANDER...So next Open your eyes widely before you comment....oh sheesh stop talkn lyk an ignorant girl, d story originated from LIB titled from one of her readers, den oda sites started doin d regular copy n paste tingy. m sure u dnt knw lindaikeji datz y u talkn lyk dis, nairaland is trekkin near linda ikejiz blog in terms of revenue if u stil av disbelief u can see it 4 ursef http://http://lindaikeji..in/2014/08/dear-lib-readers-im-supoosed-to-marry.html |
| Re: A Female Nairalander Needs Your Advice by Nobody: 7:17pm On Aug 11, 2014 |
Why are men this wicked ? Some will conduct traditional marriage, impregnate their fiance and after that say they are no more interested again. He saw you as mugu that will fall to polygamy across the sea reminiscent of many naija men living abroad.. Are you Nigerian, are you a permanent resident in UK, what about his status too ? |
| Re: A Female Nairalander Needs Your Advice by Beazy(f): 7:21pm On Aug 11, 2014 |
prettyboi1989:Mai questn is...do yO knw Where lindakeji or watever copied et frm?? I don't ave tym to argue wit yO.... |
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