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Children And Divorce - Family - Nairaland

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Children And Divorce by Nobody: 2:44pm On Aug 14, 2014
Imagine the following scenario ...

A couple has got a one year old child when their marriage falls apart. The child stays back with the mother. The father contributes to the child's upbringing financially and sees his child regularly. Then some months later the mother decides to move away to another city. It would take the father 5 hours by car to see his child. The father is devastated as he is not able to see his child very often anymore and father and child are very close.

What should be the solution to this problem?
Re: Children And Divorce by pickabeau1: 3:03pm On Aug 14, 2014
what were the terms of the seperation

Was it shared or full custody

1 Like

Re: Children And Divorce by pickabeau1: 3:03pm On Aug 14, 2014
what were the terms of the seperation
Re: Children And Divorce by Nobody: 3:04pm On Aug 14, 2014
Why did you take your child away in the first place?
Re: Children And Divorce by Nobody: 3:13pm On Aug 14, 2014
1AngryBird: Why did you take your child away in the first place?

I am not the mother of the child.

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Re: Children And Divorce by Nobody: 3:14pm On Aug 14, 2014
pickabeau1: what were the terms of the seperation

Was it shared or full custody

No terms of seperation, it all went down the ugly way. They share custody.
Re: Children And Divorce by Arsenate(m): 3:19pm On Aug 14, 2014
divorce always brings unhappiness; nothing good ever comes out of it. for all parties, things will never be the same again.
I HATE DIVORCE

2 Likes

Re: Children And Divorce by KanwuliaJara: 3:20pm On Aug 14, 2014
What is he crying about? undecided



WHAT IF THE MOTHER DECIDED TO GET REMARRIED OR GET A BETTER PAYING JOB. undecided
Even if the child moves to ESTONIA, it does not stop him from keeping in touch.
What stopped him from filing for joint custody? undecided

All he can do is plan special visitation times and get his ex to drop of his child at a pre-arranged designated spot!

Simple!

Love is not about convenience SOMETIMES! kiss
When they decided to get divorced. . . . . They should have thought about all that! kiss

5 Likes

Re: Children And Divorce by Nobody: 3:21pm On Aug 14, 2014
Arsenate: divorce always brings unhappiness; nothing good ever comes out of it. for all parties, things will never be the same again.
I HATE DIVORCE

It is very sad when children are involved but sometimes it is the lesser of the two evils. undecided That's life.

1 Like

Re: Children And Divorce by Nobody: 3:23pm On Aug 14, 2014
carefreewannabe:
I am not the mother of the child.

I don't believe you though. But in this case, both couples need to talk. The kid is an offspring of both partners and they both share his custody.

Maybe you should just move back. What's the big deal?

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Re: Children And Divorce by Nobody: 3:24pm On Aug 14, 2014
KanwuliaJara: What is he crying about? undecided
Even if the child moves to ESTONIA, it does not stop him from keeping in touch.
What stopped him from filing for joint custody? undecided

All he can do is plan special visitation times and get his ex to drop of his child at a pre-arranged designated spot!

Simple!

Love is not about convenience SOMETIMES! kiss

He is keeping in touch and they have joint custody but he cannot see his child as often as he would like to. I know you are a parent too, aren't you? Can you imagine what it would be like if someone took away your child to a place that is quite far? Would it not be painful?

He sees his child as often as possible but this is not enough for him due to the distance. Father and child suffer.

2 Likes

Re: Children And Divorce by Nobody: 3:25pm On Aug 14, 2014
1AngryBird:

I don't believe you though. But in this case, both couples need to talk. The kid is an offspring of both partners and they both share his custody.

Maybe you should just move back. What's the big deal?

Go through my posts and check if I am / was married. lipsrsealed

1 Like

Re: Children And Divorce by KanwuliaJara: 3:29pm On Aug 14, 2014
carefreewannabe:

He is keeping in touch and they have joint custody but he cannot see his child as often as he would like to. I know you are a parent too, aren't you? Can you imagine what it would be like if someone took away your child to a place that is quite far? Would it not be painful?

He sees his child as often as possible but this is not enough for him due to the distance. Father and child suffer.


ALL CONSEQUENCES OF SEPARATION AND DIVORCE!
It would be hard of course
But you can only do what you can under the circumstances.

No need to mourn. No one has died.

Let him take one weekend off and spend some quality time.
SIMPLE! kiss

1 Like

Re: Children And Divorce by Nobody: 3:29pm On Aug 14, 2014
carefreewannabe:

Go through my posts and check if I am / was married. lipsrsealed

Really, you want to go through your posts? Hell No.
I'm not some sorta modern stalker. Sorry.
Re: Children And Divorce by Nobody: 3:31pm On Aug 14, 2014
KanwuliaJara:

ALL CONSEQUENCES OF SEPARATION AND DIVORCE!
It would be hard of course
But you can only do what you can under the circumstances.

No need to mourn. No one has died.

Let him take one weekend off and spend some quality time.
SIMPLE! kiss

I actually told him something similar. I told him that he has to be strong and accept the situation as it is and try and spend quality time with the child as often as possible. Thanks for your contribution.

I just think that it is wrong for a parent to take the child away from the other parent like in this case.

1 Like

Re: Children And Divorce by Nobody: 3:34pm On Aug 14, 2014
1AngryBird:

Really, you want to go through your posts? Hell No.
I'm not some sorta modern stalker. Sorry.

Then stop to allege me. I can also do without your advice "they should talk". Of course they tried. If communication was the key, they would not be divorced. How old are you?

2 Likes

Re: Children And Divorce by bellong: 3:36pm On Aug 14, 2014
They can resolve their differences and come together again.

I believe there is nothing that is irreparable. It only takes them to decide to make it work.

Meanwhile, he can't stop the lady from moving to wherever she likes. His option is to make arrangements with her for periodic visits.

The child is not old enough to exploit the internet. Google hangout or Skype would have helped him.

1 Like

Re: Children And Divorce by KanwuliaJara: 3:37pm On Aug 14, 2014
carefreewannabe:

I actually told him something similar. I told him that he has to be strong and accept the situation as it is and try and spend quality time with the child as often as possible. Thanks for your contribution.

I just think that it is wrong for a parent to take the child away from the other parent like in this case.

I also asked:
What if the lady plans to get REMARRIED or she found a better job? undecided

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Re: Children And Divorce by Nobody: 3:38pm On Aug 14, 2014
KanwuliaJara:

I also asked:
What if the lady plans to get REMARRIED or she found a better job? undecided

She has no plans to get married yet and she has not found a better job. She just moved away to be closer to her mother.

1 Like

Re: Children And Divorce by Nobody: 3:40pm On Aug 14, 2014
bellong: They can resolve their differences and come together again.


I believe there is nothing that is irreparable. It only takes them to decide to make it work.

This is your point of view, not theirs.

Meanwhile, he can't stop the lady from moving to wherever she likes. His option is to make arrangements with her for periodic visits.

Nobody said he can or should but it is still wrong to take children away from loving parents, in my opinion.

The child is not old enough to exploit the internet. Google hangout or Skype would have helped him.

Yeah.
Re: Children And Divorce by KanwuliaJara: 3:44pm On Aug 14, 2014
carefreewannabe:

She has no plans to get married yet and she has not found a better job. She just moved away to be closer to her mother.

That is a legitimate reason. kiss
Re: Children And Divorce by bellong: 3:44pm On Aug 14, 2014
carefreewannabe:

This is your point of view, not theirs.



Nobody said he can or should but it is still wrong to take children away from loving parents, in my opinion.



Yeah.

Calm down miss.

Loving parents that do not have enough love among themselves?

The lady in question is not taking the baby away from the father intentionally.

1 Like

Re: Children And Divorce by KanwuliaJara: 3:44pm On Aug 14, 2014
carefreewannabe:

She has no plans to get married yet and she has not found a better job. She just moved away to be closer to her mother.

That is a legitimate reason. kiss

It was not meant to be punitive! kiss
Re: Children And Divorce by Nobody: 3:52pm On Aug 14, 2014
bellong:

Calm down miss.

Loving parents that do not have enough love among themselves?

The lady in question is not taking the baby away from the father intentionally.

Just because you don't love your partner, does not mean you don't love your child.

The lady in question is taking the child away from the father for selfish reasons.

1 Like

Re: Children And Divorce by Nobody: 3:52pm On Aug 14, 2014
carefreewannabe:

Then stop to allege me. I can also do without your advice "they should talk". Of course they tried. If communication was the key, they would not be divorced. How old are you?

For starters, Real adults settle things offline. Bringing age into this will Only make you look like a complete Ediot. As a matured adult which you are claiming to be e, you ought to know if dialogue can't reverse this, nothing can.
Re: Children And Divorce by pickabeau1: 3:52pm On Aug 14, 2014
carefreewannabe:

No terms of seperation, it all went down the ugly way. They share custody.


If it was legal.. there must have been custody arrangements
What did the lawyers discuss?

1 Like

Re: Children And Divorce by Nobody: 3:53pm On Aug 14, 2014
KanwuliaJara:

That is a legitimate reason. kiss

It was not meant to be punitive! kiss

This is your opinion and you are entitled to it but I don't think that the wish of a grown up woman to be close to her mummy is more important than the need of a child to have a father.

1 Like

Re: Children And Divorce by Nobody: 3:54pm On Aug 14, 2014
pickabeau1:


If it was legal.. there must have been custody arrangements
What did the lawyers discuss?

When they got divorced, the mother was still in the same place and did not mention going away.

1 Like

Re: Children And Divorce by Nobody: 3:55pm On Aug 14, 2014
1AngryBird:

For starters, Real adults settle things offline. Bringing age into this will Only make you look like a complete Ediot. As a matured adult which you are claiming to be e, you ought to know if dialogue can't reverse this, nothing can.

I have nothing to settle because this is not my child. Kindly stay away from this thread. Thank you. kiss

2 Likes

Re: Children And Divorce by pickabeau1: 4:00pm On Aug 14, 2014
carefreewannabe:

When they got divorced, the mother was still in the same place and did not mention going away.


Well.. i dont understand why something like this would have been ignored
Most of the abuse children face are actually from step parents

She may re marry.. he too may

Does he want the kid with him"?
They should go back to court to discuss custody arranagement

1 Like

Re: Children And Divorce by Nobody: 4:03pm On Aug 14, 2014
pickabeau1:


Well.. i dont understand why something like this would have been ignored
Most of the abuse children face are actually from step parents

She may re marry.. he too may

Does he want the kid with him"?
They should go back to court to discuss custody arranagement


Do you suggest taking the child away from the mother or do you suggest forcing the mother to come back?

1 Like

Re: Children And Divorce by pickabeau1: 4:06pm On Aug 14, 2014
carefreewannabe:

Do you suggest taking the child away from the mother or do you suggest forcing the mother to come back?

You ve not answered ,y question

What does he want

However since the kid is less than 2y old, it's best left with the mom

Having her close to mom may allow her to work as single moms have issues with child care

He should calm down and look at the big pix

1 Like

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