1stCitizen:

What a question? No be person dis-virgin me? haba? Na ghost?

I only ask the question because you said you don't encourage pre-marital sex. If you haven't said that, i won't have bothered you.

1stCitizen: Even sef, Virgin dey Nigeria again? abi you no sabi say woman wey claim say she be virgin na him dey no dey gree do for wedding night and dey frustrate him hubby with the way she go the contract the thing to mimick virginity, then run enter bathroom like say she dey bleed. We don hear plenty tory my bro.

This is out of the scope of this thread. Meanwhile OP didn't say he is doubting the virginity status of his wife pre wedding night. plus how are you sure there is no virgin in nigeria or have you sampled all the females to know their status?

1stCitizen: Seriously.
I said I am very sexually experienced. Why should I marry a virgin when I am not one. We will definitely not be on the same wavelength.

You can't say you can't marry a virgin and still say you don't encourage pre-marital sex. For a virgin to loose virginity/be disflower, he/she must have engaged in pre-marital sex now. You want a woman that is sexually experienced than you, how else would she have acquired the experience?

[size=4pt]na wa o. You stay a virgin, you get labelled as inexperience and threatened with adultery, you are not a virgin, you are labelled a LovePeddler......[/size]

Godmystrength:

[size=5pt]with or without her knowledge? [/size]

of course with her consent, am not that barbaric, mine is to keep her talking while topping her glass....end result can be quite electrifying.

Okay. Just wanted to be sure

MARKone:

of course with her consent, am not that barbaric, mine is to keep her talking while topping her glass....end result can be quite electrifying.

This is why i can't marry a virgin! Me likey a lady d@ can fucck very wella.

Nka nbe

It's a case not uncommon with virgins,she probably has had so many weird thoughts about losing virginity and sex as a whole...that she still has it in her head that sex is painful, you're lucky you have a child,I have a friend who's going through the same experience,and she's been married for 5 years without conceiving. I don taya to ask whether dem don do the do

how to help your wife is get her to talk to a gynea/obstetrician or psychologist or just try to help her yourself, lots and lots of pre-intimacy, watch porn with her and if you're shy,encourage her to watch it on her own . just a little o,no go turn addict,or were you also a virgin when you married her?

OP, was your wife circumcised mutilated as a young girl?? that could explain a lot.
If she was not, then she is probably just uncomfortable/stiff (you have no idea what twenty-something years of believing that sex is from the devil can do to the human psychology), I'll advice you secretly drug her with viagra or whatever equivalent there is and then watch what happens.
Ultimately maybe you guys should see a therapist/sexologist
God is your muscle

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahàhahahahahahahahahahahaha
God this post really cracked me to tears.
Chai.
And they call women who had indulged in pre marital sex sluts and hos and men who did so as village champions who have their hidden fresh bride(virgins) waiting for them at home.

Ok on a serious note. If you have indulged in pre-marital sex, why don't you gently educate her on that aspect and take her slowly through the process because it's a psychological thing. Maybe with time she'll get through. When you have your way or force yourself on her, she'll withdraw more.

Well, enjoy. Still looking out for more advice on this one.

Godmystrength: I only ask the question because you said you don't encourage pre-marital sex. If you haven't said that, i won't have bothered you.

This is out of the scope of this thread. Meanwhile OP didn't say he is doubting the virginity status of his wife pre wedding night. plus how are you sure there is no virgin in nigeria or have you sampled all the females to know their status?

You can't say you can't marry a virgin and still say you don't encourage pre-marital sex. For a virgin to loose virginity/be disflower, he/she must have engaged in pre-marital sex now. You want a woman that is sexually experienced than you, how else would she have acquired the experience?

[size=4pt]na wa o. You stay a virgin, you get labelled as inexperience and threatened with adultery, you are not a virgin, you are labelled a LovePeddler......[/size]

Quit acting in denial. I hate to say it but the moment a woman starts feigning virginity in present day Nigeria. Shine your eyes....so it is within the scope of the thread.
If you took time to read my comment b4 jumping to comment, you would have noticed I started off that it is strictly my preference and so "caveat emptor" . I cannot marry one but will not encourage anyone to do same. Seems you have a problem with that.

Let the truth be told, it is easier to find a needle in a haystack than a virgin in Nigeria and most of the virginity claimants abound are frauds.

Whoever claims a non-virgin is a LovePeddler is like a child that wants a toy no one has touched....anyway kids are now getting married in Nigeria. If you are not a virgin as a man, you have no business looking for one as a wife...simple!

KanwuliaJara: You have my blessings!
If you are not strong enough, please USE HAMMER OR YOUR WALKING-STICK.
Lubricate am welly welly ooooooooooh.
Good luck sha-sha!

haba madam k.this is the first time I won't agree with you.


When referring to someone's wife try and scan your words. This is someone's wife, daughter and sister you are referring to not some amateur porn actress



by the way i miss your posts on nl.where have you been. Nl jas been dry without you

@OP

I'd say you should try this
1. Contact a sex therapist (both of you together and her alone) , you can contact the Lady that writes for Punch newspapers(google it)
Her family can't help this its beyond them
2. Consider having sex during her ovulation period(if she has a regular cycle it should be 10-14days before her period and she should eat a lot of pineapples during that time because it improves EWCM)

Lastly mostly likely this has nothing to do with her being a virgin , these things are either psychological or physiological and both are treatable
You need to stop making her feel helpless.

@OP,u need to see a docor first.

@1stCitizen- okay. i am not the one who has a problem. You are either here or there. You can't be in the middle. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

1stCitizen:

My personal preference though. I cannot!!! simple. Those that did that I know of had too many issues that created marital problems for them. That of the OP is even trivial and can be sorted compared to others. I am not encouraging pre-marital sex but being very realistic. A sexually inexperienced woman with a sexually experienced husband is recipe for disaster.

your fear about virgin women is sooooooooo unfounded.many comments about painful intercouse are mainly,purely based on negative fantansies and misconceived perception mostly by men who fall short of what to do in bedmatic situations!

What I would advice u to do is to study her sexual life by asking questions only... U need the kind of questions to ask?

blessedqueen: What I would advice u to do is to study her sexual life by asking questions only... U need the kind of questions to ask?

have guys considered the that the she might be the one not finding intimacy not pleasurable!

Op you need to put on the best available patience armour cos if you easily get frustrated writing down what bothers you, then i know how much effort you put into pre-intimacy. Your wife obviously is frigid(psychologically induced i guess) and then you sealed it when you rape her for the first time. As i was saying patiently and loving without any sex talk or signs of it, get her to tell you the story behind her chastity/morals/upbringing (think there lies your solution). Afterwhich take her to see a professional marriage councilor. If the origin/region of your name is anything to consider, was she circumcise like was asked above?

SAMBARRY: haba madam k.this is the first time I won't agree with you.


When referring to someone's wife try and scan your words. This is someone's wife, daughter and sister you are referring to not some amateur porn actress



by the way i miss your posts on nl.where have you been. Nl jas been dry without you

I think you misunderstood me. . . .AGAIN!
Where did I refer to his wife?

I was referring to the 'disvigining' process. . .
Hiaaaaaaaaaahn!

Work don start o. . . .I have a 5-NIGHT STRETCH. . .
Back to school tinz,
Last vacation runz with the kids.
I go scarce gaaaaaaaaaaaaan. . . but I shall be popping in and out. . .
Even from London and Nigeria.. . . . .
No vacation from NL oooooooo.
Even from h-inside plan. . . I GO DEY POST!

*time to gerrrrrrout of bed. . . .*

Pls leave adultery aside

bestestgirl: you have no idea what twenty-something years of believing that sex is from the devil can do to the human psychology)

Many parents really don't realize how much damage they are doing to their children's minds when they feed them with the bullshit they do. Twenty years of that refrain can indeed make any sensible person go mad, and yes, I have seen instances.

Op take her to a medical clinic or sexual health clinic. It is very likely she is suffering from vaginimus.

Introduction

Vaginismus is when the muscles around the vagina tighten involuntarily whenever there is an attempt to penetrate it.

The symptoms can vary from one woman to the next. Some women are unable to insert anything into their vagina because it closes up completely, some women can insert a tampon but are unable to have sex, and others are able to have sex but find it very painful.

Read more about the symptoms of vaginismus.

As vaginismus can disrupt or completely stop your sex life, it often causes distress and relationship problems. It may even prevent you starting a family.

It can also make gynaecological and pelvic examinations difficult or impossible. In some cases, an anaesthetic (painkilling medication) may be needed before a doctor can carry out an examination.

If you've never been able to have sex because of the condition, it's referred to as primary vaginismus. If you've previously been able to have sex but now find it difficult, it's referred to as secondary vaginismus.

http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/vaginismus/pages/introduction.aspx

Read more on it but honestly carry her go to a professional gyneo

ladyju: I think both of u should talk to a doctor. Maybe she's lacking some vitamins.... I don't know what else to say

lacking vitamins lol am dead

I read all responses to my post, and I thank everyone who responded constructively. Some of the comments are insightful indeed. But I like to make the following remarks:
1. For some personal reasons, I have left out certain details. I do not feel frustrated writing down what bothers me, but I do not want to give myself or my wife away by supplying certain details on a largely public forum as this.
2. The issue here is far less of my not ‘perfecting my skills’, as one response suggests.
3. My wife was not circumcised.
4. I have sat her down to discuss the issue, and it was truly disturbing when she once admitted that her rigidity was because of her inability to conceive of or imaging a man climbing her!
5. To signify the encounter with my wife as molest, as a response remarks is, to put it mildly, unkind: we went to bed together willingly, undressed ourselves willingly, and began the pre-intimacy together willingly. And just because at the final stage I applied an approach which at the time I misjudged as appropriate considering the antecedents of the previous weeks, someone labels it as a molest?

ozalogbo: I read all responses to my post, and I thank everyone who responded constructively. Some of the comments are insightful indeed. But I like to make the following remarks:
1. For some personal reasons, I have left out certain details. I do not feel frustrated writing down what bothers me, but I do not want to give myself or my wife away by supplying certain details on a largely public forum as this.
2. The issue here is far less of my not ‘perfecting my skills’, as one response suggests.
3. My wife was not circumcised.
4. I have sat her down to discuss the issue, and it was truly disturbing when she once admitted that her rigidity was because of her inability to conceive of or imaging a man climbing her!
5. To signify the encounter with my wife as molest, as a response remarks is, to put it mildly, unkind: we went to bed together willingly, undressed ourselves willingly, and began the pre-intimacy together willingly. And just because at the final stage I applied an approach which at the time I misjudged as appropriate considering the antecedents of the previous weeks, someone labels it as a molest?

you just have. no problem but a big a problem.there is something you have to understand about some couples when getting to that part.it is called understanding. it is not sitting her down to give her a lecture(it makes them frigid).
put it this way,some people don't like honey but it does not mean they like what is sweet(it could be sugar,pineapple etc even oranges
same thing with ladies.I would love to show you how it works but such information is too delicate on such open forum like this.
but virgins are fun immeasurable .be calm and let come to you,don't put the unknown let her start small.
best of gr8 marrige

Op its never easy being with a woman who doesn't like sex. Women are not built like men, they like to talk and make a lot of noise but at the end of the day they don't value sex as much as men do. That's why someone here is still blaming you after you waited 3weeks after your marriage.

That being said, forcing her finally may not have been the best way to go but what's done is done.

Your wife is frigid. It could be physical(from vaginismus) but from your post about her virginity and her inability to conceive a man climbing her I'm thinking its more psychological. Either way, treatment is hard and is going to require a lot of patience on your part.

1. Do not watch porn with her. It will make her feel all the more sinful and also pornstars are actors. The acrobatics they do and the duration of the sex isn't real. For those who find it difficult to give up porn Google "how porn is made". You'll be shocked.

2. There is however an adult movie you can watch that Ithink she will accept more. It is called "Better lover" or "The love guide". Different names but the same film. It is more scientific and I think even a pastor was involved in the discussion. It is a western film and explains the process of sex in a very sensible way. Ask your local film seller for it, it is quite popular. It will tell her all she needs to know, how to be comfortable with sex and enjoy it with you without violating her senses.

3. You have to be patient.

4. Treat sex like a lesson. For her sex can't be spontaneous, as long as she isn't expecting it she'll freeze up once you start initiating any pre-intimacy. Tell her a date two of you will have sex. You both must be relaxed and not stressed up e.g like returning from work or after heavy cooking or rushing around. A Saturday is preferable. She should be encouraged to talk and tell you what she likes as you are doing it to her. This is beneficial in three ways.

- it let's you know what turns her on and what doesn't.

- her talking about it makes her feel in control. She will know the sex will only go at the speed she wants.

- talking about it can also be arousing for her.

3. When its time to penetrate you can let it be in the sitting position if she is not comfortable with the "man-on-top" or missionary position. You can even try the "woman on top" position. Am sure you won't mind as long as the end result is that you finally have sex with your wife.

4. This above session usually does not end in sex in the first attempt. She will be initially shy and some laughing and clumsiness will be involved. This is not the time to mock her skills. Doing so will be very very bad and destroy her self confidence. Be patient. By the third to fifth try you guys should be having full blown sex and be comfortable with each other's unclothedness.

5. Try to find time to give her full body massages and make it clear from the onset that sex will not be involved. It will make her feel loved and also increase her libido and if you are lucky and do it well she'll be the one to break the rule and ask for sex afterwards but if she doesn't its still OK.


All the best.

5minsmadness: Op its never easy being with a woman who doesn't like sex. Women are not built like men, they like to talk and make a lot of noise but at the end of the day they don't value sex as much as men do. That's why someone here is still blaming you after you waited 3weeks after your marriage.

That being said, forcing her finally may not have been the best way to go but what's done is done.

Your wife is frigid. It could be physical(from vaginismus) but from your post about her virginity and her inability to conceive a man climbing her I'm thinking its more psychological. Either way, treatment is hard and is going to require a lot of patience on your part.

1. Do not watch porn with her. It will make her feel all the more sinful and also pornstars are actors. The acrobatics they do and the duration of the sex isn't real. For those who find it difficult to give up porn Google "how porn is made". You'll be shocked.

2. There is however an adult movie you can watch that Ithink she will accept more. It is called "Better lover" or "The love guide". Different names but the same film. It is more scientific and I think even a pastor was involved in the discussion. It is a western film and explains the process of sex in a very sensible way. Ask your local film seller for it, it is quite popular. It will tell her all she needs to know, how to be comfortable with sex and enjoy it with you without violating her senses.

3. You have to be patient.

4. Treat sex like a lesson. For her sex can't be spontaneous, as long as she isn't expecting it she'll freeze up once you start initiating any pre-intimacy. Tell her a date two of you will have sex. You both must be relaxed and not stressed up e.g like returning from work or after heavy cooking or rushing around. A Saturday is preferable. She should be encouraged to talk and tell you what she likes as you are doing it to her. This is beneficial in three ways.

- it let's you know what turns her on and what doesn't.

- her talking about it makes her feel in control. She will know the sex will only go at the speed she wants.

- talking about it can also be arousing for her.

3. When its time to penetrate you can let it be in the sitting position if she is not comfortable with the "man-on-top" or missionary position. You can even try the "woman on top" position. Am sure you won't mind as long as the end result is that you finally have sex with your wife.

4. This above session usually does not end in sex in the first attempt. She will be initially shy and some laughing and clumsiness will be involved. This is not the time to mock her skills. Doing so will be very very bad and destroy her self confidence. Be patient. By the third to fifth try you guys should be having full blown sex and be comfortable with each other's unclothedness.

5. Try to find time to give her full body massages and make it clear from the onset that sex will not be involved. It will make her feel loved and also increase her libido and if you are lucky and do it well she'll be the one to break the rule and ask for sex afterwards but if she doesn't its still OK.


All the best.

Thanks indeed.

Try turning her cliitor, gently while sucking her breast, u will b shocked at d outcome.

Graxie: Try turning her cliitor, gently while sucking her breast, u will b shocked at d outcome.

did this work for you?
just because it worked for you doesn't mean it would work for others. like i said few weeks back, majority of the nigerian women have the sex drive of a shoe!

i pity the OP....
this is why i would always support premarital sëx. i'd rather deal with this kinda problem before marriage than after. women love to talk the talk but they rarely walk the walk. after fulfilling all righteousness, marrying a woman that is a log of wood in bed is extremely unfair.

Graxie: Try turning her cliitor, gently while sucking her breast, u will b shocked at d outcome.

Breast, Ok. But turning clitor, a put off for her.

ozalogbo:

Breast, Ok. But turning clitor, a put off for her.

Then concentrate on the breast.

@coogar, yes it worked for me. I use to be rigid and sex was extremely painful.

5minsmadness: Op its never easy being with a woman who doesn't like sex. Women are not built like men, they like to talk and make a lot of noise but at the end of the day they don't value sex as much as men do. That's why someone here is still blaming you after you waited 3weeks after your marriage.

That being said, forcing her finally may not have been the best way to go but what's done is done.

Your wife is frigid. It could be physical(from vaginismus) but from your post about her virginity and her inability to conceive a man climbing her I'm thinking its more psychological. Either way, treatment is hard and is going to require a lot of patience on your part.

1. Do not watch porn with her. It will make her feel all the more sinful and also pornstars are actors. The acrobatics they do and the duration of the sex isn't real. For those who find it difficult to give up porn Google "how porn is made". You'll be shocked.

2. There is however an adult movie you can watch that Ithink she will accept more. It is called "Better lover" or "The love guide". Different names but the same film. It is more scientific and I think even a pastor was involved in the discussion. It is a western film and explains the process of sex in a very sensible way. Ask your local film seller for it, it is quite popular. It will tell her all she needs to know, how to be comfortable with sex and enjoy it with you without violating her senses.

3. You have to be patient.

4. Treat sex like a lesson. For her sex can't be spontaneous, as long as she isn't expecting it she'll freeze up once you start initiating any pre-intimacy. Tell her a date two of you will have sex. You both must be relaxed and not stressed up e.g like returning from work or after heavy cooking or rushing around. A Saturday is preferable. She should be encouraged to talk and tell you what she likes as you are doing it to her. This is beneficial in three ways.

- it let's you know what turns her on and what doesn't.

- her talking about it makes her feel in control. She will know the sex will only go at the speed she wants.

- talking about it can also be arousing for her.

3. When its time to penetrate you can let it be in the sitting position if she is not comfortable with the "man-on-top" or missionary position. You can even try the "woman on top" position. Am sure you won't mind as long as the end result is that you finally have sex with your wife.

4. This above session usually does not end in sex in the first attempt. She will be initially shy and some laughing and clumsiness will be involved. This is not the time to mock her skills. Doing so will be very very bad and destroy her self confidence. Be patient. By the third to fifth try you guys should be having full blown sex and be comfortable with each other's unclothedness.

5. Try to find time to give her full body massages and make it clear from the onset that sex will not be involved. It will make her feel loved and also increase her libido and if you are lucky and do it well she'll be the one to break the rule and ask for sex afterwards but if she doesn't its still OK.


All the best.

Best advice so far..
1000likes


...must be in ur lucid period

5minsmadness: Op its never easy being with a woman who doesn't like sex. Women are not built like men, they like to talk and make a lot of noise but at the end of the day they don't value sex as much as men do. That's why someone here is still blaming you after you waited 3weeks after your marriage.

That being said, forcing her finally may not have been the best way to go but what's done is done.

Your wife is frigid. It could be physical(from vaginismus) but from your post about her virginity and her inability to conceive a man climbing her I'm thinking its more psychological. Either way, treatment is hard and is going to require a lot of patience on your part.

1. Do not watch porn with her. It will make her feel all the more sinful and also pornstars are actors. The acrobatics they do and the duration of the sex isn't real. For those who find it difficult to give up porn Google "how porn is made". You'll be shocked.

2. There is however an adult movie you can watch that Ithink she will accept more. It is called "Better lover" or "The love guide". Different names but the same film. It is more scientific and I think even a pastor was involved in the discussion. It is a western film and explains the process of sex in a very sensible way. Ask your local film seller for it, it is quite popular. It will tell her all she needs to know, how to be comfortable with sex and enjoy it with you without violating her senses.

3. You have to be patient.

4. Treat sex like a lesson. For her sex can't be spontaneous, as long as she isn't expecting it she'll freeze up once you start initiating any pre-intimacy. Tell her a date two of you will have sex. You both must be relaxed and not stressed up e.g like returning from work or after heavy cooking or rushing around. A Saturday is preferable. She should be encouraged to talk and tell you what she likes as you are doing it to her. This is beneficial in three ways.

- it let's you know what turns her on and what doesn't.

- her talking about it makes her feel in control. She will know the sex will only go at the speed she wants.

- talking about it can also be arousing for her.

3. When its time to penetrate you can let it be in the sitting position if she is not comfortable with the "man-on-top" or missionary position. You can even try the "woman on top" position. Am sure you won't mind as long as the end result is that you finally have sex with your wife.

4. This above session usually does not end in sex in the first attempt. She will be initially shy and some laughing and clumsiness will be involved. This is not the time to mock her skills. Doing so will be very very bad and destroy her self confidence. Be patient. By the third to fifth try you guys should be having full blown sex and be comfortable with each other's unclothedness.

5. Try to find time to give her full body massages and make it clear from the onset that sex will not be involved. It will make her feel loved and also increase her libido and if you are lucky and do it well she'll be the one to break the rule and ask for sex afterwards but if she doesn't its still OK.


All the best.

Best advice so far..
1000likes


...must be in ur lucid period