My younger sis who jst completed her exams came over finally to stay with me. She's my only sis, we lost our mum some years back and since then she has been living wth our step mum in another city because of schl. Now she's done wif secondary schl nd now stays with me at home.
Since she came, it has been from one quarrel to another. I can't even correct her because she jst returns it wif insults. Somtyms I go to schl only to come back to see a very unkempt house. She rarely wash d dishes, all she does is to sit nd watch movies frm mornin till night. I dnt even hav any1 to call to report her. I can't call my step mum because she'll jst use that to insult her. If I call my dad, it wnt even help.
I'm thinking of moving to the other room because I can't jst keep up with d disrespect and her dirty nature. It pains me to c my own sis growin to bcom somtin else. Sooner or later, I knw she'll bcom out of hand. She doesn't even cook, all she does it to drink tea always.
Pls I need advice on how to tacle dis issue. She's d only sibling I have. My step mum doesn't even hav a child for my dad so I dnt hav any1 apart frm her nd she's very stubborn. I dnt knw if she needs spiritual help, I'll be ready to take her for deliverance.

Which of the hand? Left or right? Bring her to me for some discipline..

Dnt b worried sogbo,datz hw dey do wen dem jex graduate.since uve tried all ur best in correctin her d easy way nd tz not yieldin any desirable result,maybe u shud try d hard way out

experimentist: Which of the hand? Left or right? Bring her to me for some discipline..

speak some sense pls.

I think it's due to over pampering from her dad(just assuming that's the case).I think it's time to show her who's the boss here!handle her in a strict manner."Strike d iron while it's still hot". If na Dstv u dey use,remuv d card whenever u r goin out, nd if na dvd player,keep d cords or d player itself nd dnt giv her money to buy junks outside. Might work out

akitijackson: speak some sense pls.

Ok.. Leme relax my brain, I will comment in d mawnin

I dnt even hav any1 to call to report her. I can't call my step mum because she'll jst use that to insult her. If I call my dad, it wnt even help.

You are the one that has succeeded in spoiling her. And in the future , she will blame you for it.
You have refused to be firm with her even when it is obvious she is just a kid.
I suggest you report her to the people you mentioned in the quote above.
And you keep referring to your step-mum as if she's a person to avoid. Will insult from her peel your sister's skin off?
Be firm and don't produce a brat for us.
EXPERIMENTIST has offered another dimension though.

akitijackson:
Pls I need advice on how to tacle dis issue.

Why don't you try setting some good examples...
That's what big sisters are for. ☺

jeffizy:
You are the one that has succeeded in spoiling her. And in the future , she will blame you for it.
You have refused to be firm with her even when it is obvious she is just a kid.
I suggest you report her to the people you mentioned in the quote above.
And you keep referring to your step-mum as if she's a person to avoid. Will insult from her peel your sister's skin off?
Be firm and don't produce a brat for us.
EXPERIMENTIST has offered another dimension though.

how old is the girl sef? Hope say she don ripe?

experimentist: how old is the girl sef? Hope say she don ripe?

she jex commot secondary school so @ most she should b 17

Abatemtem: she jex commot secondary school so @ most she should b 17

all these small small babes na problem.. Mek I sleep abeg, I go reason her matter for mawnin

experimentist: all these small small babes na problem.. Mek I sleep abeg, I go reason her matter for mawnin

lol...one funny bt true thing is that all this type of problem usually starts when she gets too much of attention from guys

Abatemtem: I think it's due to over pampering from her dad(just assuming that's the case).I think it's time to show her who's the boss here!handle her in a strict manner."Strike d iron while it's still hot". If na Dstv u dey use,remuv d card whenever u r goin out, nd if na dvd player,keep d cords or d player itself nd dnt giv her money to buy junks outside. Might work out

If it's money, my dad gives us fifty fifty...I think I'll go wif wat u said abt d dstv stuff. I'll disconnect everythin bfor goin to schl.

experimentist: how old is the girl sef? Hope say she don ripe?

she's 19

akitijackson: If it's money, my dad gives us fifty fifty...I think I'll go wif wat u said abt d dstv stuff. I'll disconnect everythin bfor goin to schl.

gud nd I tink u shud consider jeffizy's post too

akitijackson: she's 19

19? Nd she's doin all dat?dis one is strong o.include prayers too

Pls u guys shld help me out, I dnt knw wat to do...I so dnt knw wat to do. I'm kinda helpless. She even has a bf at dat age, wat if she gets pregnant?

akitijackson: Pls u guys shld help me out, I dnt knw wat to do...I so dnt knw wat to do. I'm kinda helpless. She even has a bf at dat age, wat if she gets pregnant?

her age has placed her in a diff position.she's no longer a kid or teen so all u nid to do is sit her down n talk things out in a mother-daughter way this time around

Just leave her alone, by the time she realises that she's getting older ever day, she'll change.

akitijackson: Pls u guys shld help me out, I dnt knw wat to do...I so dnt knw wat to do. I'm kinda helpless. She even has a bf at dat age, wat if she gets pregnant?

at 19 and with that attitude, I would be surprised if she doesnt have a bf
It is partly everyone's fault that she has dat attitude. I want to believe she was really pampered and you and everyone else in ur family didn't realise what she was turning into until nw. it is kinda getting late and ur options are limited
I concur with what others said, you ave to be firm and strict with her.
Also try and show her love and talk to her often as a sister and friend, evn if she is acting as if she is not listening, the words might make sense to her someday when she is alone
you also ave to note her friends, bad company corrupts good manners. and try and get her closer to friends with good moral upbringing better.
you also ave to tell ur dad abt it. you cnt replace a fatherly figure in her life. try and make him realise what his little girl is turning to because at the end of d day, she is still ur sister o and u may ave to bear from her mistakes

Say no more. The next time she insults you, pay for her transport fare and send her back(on the next THE YOUNG SHALL GROW BUS) to your dad's. At 19 she is growing too much wings no thanks to those chewing gum boys helping her grow the wings

akitijackson: If it's money, my dad gives us fifty fifty...I think I'll go wif wat u said abt d dstv stuff. I'll disconnect everythin bfor goin to schl.

This should work . Let her know the world is not hers for the taking. She'll be better for it. I have one like that, although she's a friends daughter. I watched her grow from when she was 7 years and was brought to my house. I sed to bath her and buy her stuff. Now she's 16 and out of secondary school and calls herself a graduate.

Her mum, grandmum and myself are having a hard time keeping her in check. Especially as she grew overnight with all them a+rse, bo obs and hips springing out. She's now a princess in her own fairy kingdom and listens to no one.

akitijackson: My younger sis who jst completed her exams came over finally to stay with me. She's my only sis, we lost our mum some years back and since then she has been living wth our step mum in another city because of schl. Now she's done wif secondary schl nd now stays with me at home.
Since she came, it has been from one quarrel to another. I can't even correct her because she jst returns it wif insults. Somtyms I go to schl only to come back to see a very unkempt house. She rarely wash d dishes, all she does is to sit nd watch movies frm mornin till night. I dnt even hav any1 to call to report her. I can't call my step mum because she'll jst use that to insult her. If I call my dad, it wnt even help.
I'm thinking of moving to the other room because I can't jst keep up with d disrespect and her dirty nature. It pains me to c my own sis growin to bcom somtin else. Sooner or later, I knw she'll bcom out of hand. She doesn't even cook, all she does it to drink tea always.
Pls I need advice on how to tacle dis issue. She's d only sibling I have. My step mum doesn't even hav a child for my dad so I dnt hav any1 apart frm her nd she's very stubborn. I dnt knw if she needs spiritual help, I'll be ready to take her for deliverance.

Lay down the rules firmly and tell her that if she doesn't abide by them,she will have to leave
as simple as that
Don't beg or plead or try to reason with her
Lay it on firmly and don't depart from it
looks like she is a spoiled brat

What is the plan by the way
Is she applying to school
Looking for a job
What is she doing just sitting and drinking tea at 19?

And the fears you have about pregnancy say it out to her hearing without any colorations and add HIV to it while saying it
That way if she is sleeping around she could at least use protection

At 19, her eye go don open and I suggest you do the following:
1 Explain to her the bad side of having a boyfriend I.e distraction from achieving her goals in life.
2 Tell her nobody would help her in hard times except her family, which is you.
3 Tell her nobody cares about her in the whole wide world except you, if she want to know the truth. Let her shock the dude with news of her being pregnant and she would see how the dude would run like a rat into the hole to hide.
4. Show her more love, care and attention. Don't be strict on her or else she would turn her back against you.
5. Give her reason to be more focus in life instead of watching tv. Dstv is just an entertainment. The actors she sees on tv are living a fake life. Example: Nobody knew jim lyke had a problem going by what we see on tv.
6. In times of cooking, you can joking tell her to come and see how food is being made, then from time to time you can use tricks on her to start cooking maybe from boiling of rice to stew and so on.
7. in times of cleaning the house, you can tell her to sweep only a small proportion and always use the word "abeg help me" because she may see its as a form of help not command and as time goes on she would be used to its.
8. Give her example of Dangote and other business men and women, whether she have seen any of them sharing their secret of how they made its in life. Why? Because that secret can only be share among their sons and daughters. That how the world is. Nobody cares about you or how you feel.
9. You can also share your issues with her so that in turn she does the same. Always gist. Bring funny topics.
10. A successful family is always a happy family. One problem from her affect the family only.
Don't be strict on her.

babyosisi:


Lay down the rules firmly and tell her that if she doesn't abide by them,she will have to leave
as simple as that
Don't beg or plead or try to reason with her
Lay it on firmly and don't depart from it
looks like she is a spoiled brat

What is the plan by the way
Is she applying to school
Looking for a job
What is she doing just sitting and drinking tea at 19?

And the fears you have about pregnancy say it out to her hearing without any colorations and add HIV to it while saying it
That way if she is sleeping around she could at least use protection

And Ebola too..

Though she is no longer a kid bt she still remains your kid sister & the only one u can call a sibling in this world & both tied till death. You need to balance love with firmness, create no distance btwn u two bt let her know that there are rules.

Will never advice this but sometimes can come in handy and it's something a blunt person like me can say.

Try some emotional blackmail. Look for a moment she's at her calmest and emotionally vulnerable, before sleep should do... Start the whole heart to heart talk... If she's still acting all macho, you pop the question; "do you think our mom will be proud if she were here?"

Her reaction to this will go a long way in determining if she's just being a rebel or she's misguided.

Please I won't advice you take away her pleasures I.e dstv, cable, dvd because she will now find succor in that boy friend of hers and that won't be too good infact she may decide since you have made the home boring for her na outside fun she will be looking for.

If she doesn't wash plate or cook no qualms just cook only your own fOod and wash your plate when she is hungry she will do the needful.

Also it is time for you to take the bull by the horn what you have I also have one and to tell you truth she just developed this devilish behaviour in a twinkle of an eye till today I don't still believe it, the day she got on my nerves and insulted my mum I don't know what came over me I delt with her like my mate and since that day she don dey fear me for that house.

The most appropriate way I have gotten intouch with her is by sitting her down and telling her the truth about life, that's the only eye opener.

Lieing with stories to drive home a point is infact necessary. If she is not tackled now, by the time she gets to the UNI it may be too late

Abatemtem: I think it's due to over pampering from her dad(just assuming that's the case).I think it's time to show her who's the boss here!handle her in a strict manner."Strike d iron while it's still hot". If na Dstv u dey use,remuv d card whenever u r goin out, nd if na dvd player,keep d cords or d player itself nd dnt giv her money to buy junks outside. Might work out

seconded. I subscribe to this

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