190:

I was reading a thread and some one talked about guys been over protective over their girls,well i met my girl rollin with some of the worst people in town, (know these party freak kind of girls) doing nothing expect thinkin of how 2 go out on numerous dates,well she met me and all that changed as she moved away from this click immedietely, gained admision 2 the univ amongst other things,well she stil had problems with me wanting 2 go out to parties with me as i am not a party freak and also been friendly with guys, exchangin #s etc and i became over protective,stop her from doin almost everythin, decidin the friends she rolls with,but i want you to understand that i a just been scared 2 loose her,i am goin on servic nextyr and its botherin me leavin her,i am 80% sure shes not cheatin on me
But at the same time after readin about guys been over protective,i am thinkin that maybe i am, please advice,she comes from a home where her mom dosent care if her dad slips with over 20women and this has changed her life in a way that she acording 2 what she says is a FREE STYLE life,she learns badthings quickly and is slow in learning somethin +ve, wetin i GO do,
am i been over protective,we have quarels every now and then over smal issues because of me been over protective or her doin terible thins, like laughin when guys ask her out instead of givin it plain 2 them, abeg thoes of una when na only condem una dey condem people thread make una back off comot here o, because i no go gree, I hail, females replies needed most guys welcome as well

naijababe2:

190, your girlfriend ain't a puppet, let her pull her own strings.

topup:

Awww, that's so sweet, that you feel like you've known her forever. Well, yes you love her a whole lot, but you don't seem to be all that reassured by her feelings for you. Do you think she feels the same way? Or do you think that she is in control of this relationship, you needn't decrease your love for her like you mentioned, that is just because you feel like you are no longer in control and wish to regain at least some control back, but I think that won't help you, you need to talk to her about how you feel about her, if she truly cares for you and loves you, she will take this on board and will work harder to reassure her. You also have to start valuing yourself as a boyfriend, you seem to be idolising her a bit, and so you don't feel worthy, if you felt more deserving to be her boyfriend then you wouldn't be as frightened to be left for another.

Try not to worry about things that may never even happen anyway, talk your doubts through, hopefully she will reassure you and you can move onto the next stage of your relationship.

All the best.
God Bless

190:


she learns badthings quickly and is slow in learning somethin +ve, wetin i GO do,
am i been over protective,we have quarels every now and then over smal issues because of me been over protective or her doin terible thins, like laughin when guys ask her out instead of givin it plain 2 them

190:

i am a very Jelous person and i usually wasnt like this,we have only been out 4 one year and its lshe knows i love her too much and uses that against me sumtimes,

foye57:

hey topup, been a while i've read anythin frm u.where hav u been. nice analysis!cheers

The work load came back and I've only just managed to ease it up a bit so I have time for Nairaland again, missed you guys

190:

and gues wot she has stated that shes headin 2 PH 2nite, and i know fully well that theres a guy whoes askin her out from PH and who has sent me mesages to me in d past askin me 2 please step down 4 him,although i didnt know who he was only for my girl 2 tell me 4days ago that she actually met the guy and he took her out and they talked and she told him that she's not single and that the guy left his address with her and now shes headin 2 PH under the pretence of goin on hol's with her dad who leaves there and i know fully well that she and her dad arent in good terms because of her lifestyle, i am not happy

i dnt actually think he meant for the girl to really die for him, in otherwords for the girl to drop die for him, he is meaning for the girl to literally die for him, in others words for the girl to love him more than she is displaying.

i dnt really think there is a proven test of how to know whether someone really love you, however these are some of my ways to at least to know whether someone loves me not test whether they love me. you can certainly know when someone loves you, way the person 1) treats you, 2) responds to you 3) respects you and accepts you for who you are, respects your feelings and your opinion 4) stands by you no matter what, 5) have trust in you, and undertands, and you don't have be impress them just to win their affection are just some of it.
true love is a complete giving in it's most perfect state, it has nothing to do with taking. True love is not about how a person makes you feel or what a person does for you, it's about giving without expecting anything in return. If that person will stick with you through the most difficult times, then it's true love.

so 190 i dnt think that you can really test true love, cox what if she passes a certain test, maybe u test her by forging accident or illness to see how caring she is or not or something of a certain secenario, and she comes bringing flowers, love notes, stays in the hops. w/u and all that. this doesnt mean she loves u/ she cud b doin it cox it's something she has to do, not necessary that she loves u. in others words it could be infutation. so u can't really test whether she loves or not however, u will definitely know whether she loves or not by her actions.

(of course this is just my proven experince opinion)

sillyboy:

Trust me my friend, those highlighted words of yours aren't valid. I a guy want to get a woman by all means, he could do that and some more just to convince her.

Love is just a risk people take. Why do you even think people divorce or get seperated.