A very good friend of mine has become a prisoner in the name of marriage. His wife has driven all of us (his friends) away, the guy does not hang out again. If he comes late from work, he is in trouble with madam.

If he ventures to go out, madam will time him, and he dare not exceed the time. If he dares make any shakara like a man would want to do, madam will threaten to call police or abandon the kids.

Our friend has become so unhappy and frustrated. I stopped visiting my friend, the day madam stopped my pal from coming with me to a party I had invited him to. The excuse was that my pal didnt inform madam on time.

Marriage could really be a nightmare sometimes.

frenchman:

A very good friend of mine has become a prisoner in the name of marriage. His wife has driven all of us (his friends) away, the guy does not hang out again. If he comes late from work, he is in trouble with madam.

If he ventures to go out, madam will time him, and he dare not exceed the time. If he dares make any shakara like a man would want to do, madam will threaten to call police or abandon the kids.

Our friend has become so unhappy and frustrated. I stopped visiting my friend, the day madam stopped my pal from coming with me to a party I had invited him to. The excuse was that my pal didnt inform madam on time.

Marriage could really be a nightmare sometimes.

the madam is possessive.

Why does he remain with her? Because he doesn't have a choice or because he loves her? Ask him to look into himself and answer this sincerely.

tell him that he lost his BACHELORS CERTIFICATE the day he went into MARRIAGE INSTITUTION


omashe

@spikedcylinder,
he is there for the children. besides, it's a no win situation for the men in the western world. if he moves out, he will lose his house to the wife and lose custodial care of his children.

tangent:

@spikedcylinder, 
he is there for the children. besides, it's a no win situation for the men in the western world. if he moves out, he will lose his house to the wife and lose custodial care of his children.

Thanks for educating me on the western world. However, I must ask, are these prices worth paying for his peace of mind?

spikedcylinder:

Thanks for educating me on the western world. However, I must ask, are these prices worth paying for his peace of mind?

the man is not really disturbed, the friends are the ones disturbed. believe me, most of the time this type of situation arises it is because the wife paid a huge price(maybe marriage contract to secure papers for the man or something equally important). men sometimes think they can eat their cakes and have it but women are matching them up in their games.

sleeping open eye. very manipulative woman.

tangent:

@spikedcylinder,  
he is there for the children. besides, it's a no win situation for the men in the western world. if he moves out, he will lose his house to the wife and lose custodial care of his children.

this is not technically true.  it can only happen if the guy is in relationship with the CAN ACCOMODATE women.  if you own your house as the man and was not violent no woman can move you out of your house. not even the courts. thank God for lawyers.

spikedcylinder:

Thanks for educating me on the western world. However, I must ask, are these prices worth paying for his peace of mind?

capital NO. too many many marriage/relationship of convinience. most of these people are like hell. never satisfied. marriage is suppose to be enjoyed and fun not suffocating prisons

tangent:

the man is not really disturbed, the friends are the ones disturbed. believe me, most of the time this type of situation arises it is because the wife paid a huge price(maybe marriage contract to secure papers for the man or something equally important). men sometimes think they can eat their cakes and have it but women are matching them up in their games.

huge price? games? what matching games my dear sister? like i said these rubbish mostly happen in CAN ACCOMODATE WOMEN relationships. thankfully, i dont have a controlling and manipulative wife plus i have the keys to my front doors. dont you feel it is sad when women who know what bad relationships is like start throwing thier weight about because of some silly council flats

Hmmm,

We are yet to get the real picture, I mean the larger picture.  This is a third party report.  It is a reported event or chain of events.

I'd love to comment if I am reading from the man involved.

There is more to this story than meets the eye.

Ok.

Could people also see it from the other point of view? I mean, if this man's wife was on nairaland, what would she come here to say about her hubby? She'd probably complain that he's a no good, never stay at home, always partying wife beater. There are two sides to a coin people.

JJYOU:

sleeping open eye. very manipulative woman. this is not technically true.  it can only happen if the guy is in relationship with the CAN ACCOMODATE women.  if you own your house as the man and was not violent no woman can move you out of your house. not even the courts. thank God for lawyers. capital NO. too many many marriage/relationship of convinience. most of these people are like hell. never satisfied. marriage is suppose to be enjoyed and fun not suffocating prisons

i don't understand this poster. what is the meaning of "can accomodate women"?  if a woman calls 999 in this country and tells the police she feels threatened by the sight of her husband(the police would move the husband out for few days). until the woman says she is comfortable with her husband, the man has to hang with friends or relatives. violence or not, it is the woman's word against yours. verbal abuse is enough to get a man's ass out of his own house. p.s. the woman need not be his wife. any woman staying with a man for a period of 6 months is a partner and cohabitation rule applies.

i was going to say the same thing Loveore said.

The dude posting this, is not in the marriage

how well can he know whats really going on?

he only sees the face his friend puts up

Oga Poster,

We Cannot say anything about this objectively

spikedcylinder:

Ok.

Could people also see it from the other point of view? I mean, if this man's wife was on nairaland, what would she come here to say about her hubby? She'd probably complain that he's a no good, never stay at home, always partying wife beater. There are two sides to a coin people.

we are talking adults here. you don't want to lock a wife beater indoors.

tangent:

i don't understand this poster. what is the meaning of "can accommodate women"?  if a woman calls 999 in this country and tells the police she feels threatened by the sight of her husband(the police would move the husband out for few days). until the woman says she is comfortable with her husband, the man has to hang with friends or relatives. violence or not, it is the woman's word against yours. verbal abuse is enough to get a man's ass out of his own house. p.s. the woman need not be his wife. any woman staying with a man for a period of 6 months is a partner and cohabitation rule applies.

this is getting better. women have never had it so good in this lovely country of ours.

can aaccommodatewomen are women with aaccommodationseeking men in relationship. i hasten to add this is thankfully a western phenomenon don't tell me this is first you are hearing this word

it is the woman's word against yours

of course it is always the woman's word and boy are some milking and abusing the system with it?

let me say this again this nonsense mostly happen with people men who  live with women who are mostly named occupier in social housing.  

until the woman says she is comfortable with her husband, the man has to hang with friends or relatives.

this is not some banana republic that lawyers cant sort in court quickly. police duties is to separate them momentarily they never final say.  i know this for a fact because a friend went through this 3yrs ago.

i dont like the sound of any form of controlling adults.  just imagine the noise you will make if a woman was being asked to be indoors here

Gamine:

i was going to say the same thing Loveore said.

The dude posting this, is not in the marriage

how well can he know whats really going on?

he only sees the face his friend puts up

Oga Poster,

We Cannot say anything about this objectively

gamine, not you. would you like anyone caging you for whatever reason? you cant even restrict 16yrs old movement in this part of the world

JJYOU:

this is getting better. women have never had it so good in this lovely country of ours.

God bless the Queen.

can aaccommodatewomen are women with aaccommodationseeking men in relationship. i hasten to add this is thankfully a western phenomenon don't tell me this is first you are hearing this word
of course it is always the woman's word and boy are some milking and abusing the system with it?

so u know, women abuse this privilege to the hilt. men have also been known to use women for their papers and dump the women only to marry someone else. it's a tit for tat situation. the hunter and the hunted.

let me say this again this nonsense mostly happen with people men who  live with women who are mostly named occupier in social housing.  
this is not some banana republic that lawyers can't sort in court quickly. police duties is to separate them momentarily they never final say.  i know this for a fact because a friend went through this 3yrs ago.

i know a colleague of mine at work who got locked out for 3 months because he had a verbal brawl with his wife. the met police asked him to go and hang out with his friends. he goes home during the weekend just to pick his clothes. don't dare underestimate the power of a woman.

i don't like the sound of any form of controlling adults.  just imagine the noise you will make if a woman was being asked to be indoors here gamine, not you. would you like anyone caging you for whatever reason? you can't even restrict 16yrs old movement in this part of the world

the man knew what he was going into beforehand. i find it really hard to believe this woman turned to lucifer all of a sudden.

thank God for lawyers i say again

tangent:
i know a colleague of mine at work who got locked out for 3 months because he had a verbal brawl with his wife. the met police asked him to go and hang out with his friends. he goes home during the weekend just to pick his clothes. don't dare underestimate the power of a woman.

3 months? wonder what would have happened if he slapped her. maybe police would have locked him up and throw away the keys.
am i missing something here? when did the police in england get the powers to restrict a man from coming to his house? there is something wrong in that story. if he had a restraining order always from the courts he would not be allowed to come near her or the house weekend or no weekend. that is the law.

seeing God is beginning to save the queen, they might as well just make special rules for her ladies.

poverty is surely a mind business

JJYOU:

thank God for lawyers i say again3 months? wonder what would have happened if he slapped her. maybe police would have locked him up and throw away the keys.
am i missing something here? when did the police in england get the powers to restrict a man from coming to his house? there is something wrong in that story. if he had a restraining order always from the courts he would not be allowed to come near her or the house weekend or no weekend. that is the law.

3 months is nothing. all a woman needs to say is she is depressed and may kill herself if the man comes back home. there's nothing any solicitor can do to depression/suicide in the courts. judges and the police take such issues seriously. a woman with kids contemplating suicide. three months is small. it can lead to 6 months. there's no law that restricts a man going to his house but there has to be other parties involved. social care workers must be present if he wants to see his kids.

tangent:


so u know, women abuse this privilege to the hilt. men have also been known to use women for their papers and dump the women only to marry someone else. it's a tit for tat situation. the hunter and the hunted,


the man knew what he was going into beforehand. i find it really hard to believe this woman turned to lucifer all of a sudden.

Amen to that. If a woman has "lucifer" tendencies, shouldn't the man have picked it up before he married her? And I've never heard of CAN relationships, no phenomenon to me.

i fill d yur frndz pain!

na jazz?  @topic

Ms. Lurker:


Amen to that. If a woman has "lucifer" tendencies, shouldn't the man have picked it up before he married her? And I've never heard of CAN relationships, no phenomenon to me.

you are blessed my sister. men go about saying they married lucifer. where was his eyes and nose during courtship? any man playing the role of a freeloader should accept the consequences. nothing is free.

whatever90:

na jazz? @topic

hehe. . . yu sef don d£y bend mouth

tangent:

you are blessed my sister. men go about saying they married lucifer. where was his eyes and nose during courtship? any man playing the role of a freeloader should accept the consequences. nothing is free.

Again, amen!
Unless the woman is "off" (which in that case you would definitely know it prior to marriage - if you were looking hard enough), most women just don't turn crazy once you get married - not if she has her head on straight.

I agree, freeloading men should be held accountable for their actions whether they want it or not.

And when it comes to your friends' marriage there are two sides to that story.

Moyola, does anyone actually attempt to read the things you type?

Moyola:

hehe. . . yu sef don d£y bend mouth

no be u transfer am give me

Ms. Lurker:

Again, amen!
Unless the woman is "off" (which in that case you would definitely know it prior to marriage - if you were looking hard enough), most women just don't turn crazy once you get married -  not if she has her head on straight.

I agree, freeloading men should be held accountable for their actions whether they want it or not.

And when it comes to your friends' marriage there are two sides to that story.

you are very clever. women don't turn crazy all of a sudden. if a man is intelligent he should pick one or two things during courtship. many of them are interested in other things so i understand why some of them are blind to notice the danger signs. freeloading men get what they deserve.
men can also be naughty when it comes to accepting their friend is now married. a married man should be left alone to enjoy his marital life. the saturday games,booze,night clubs and other activities should be reduced.

does she do this to him when he comes late?

Just for a while

@agaba123, roflmao.

tangent:

3 months is nothing. all a woman needs to say is she is depressed and may kill herself if the man comes back home. there's nothing any solicitor can do to depression/suicide in the courts. judges and the police take such issues seriously. a woman with kids contemplating suicide. three months is small. it can lead to 6 months. there's no law that restricts a man going to his house but there has to be other parties involved. social care workers must be present if he wants to see his kids.

i like the kind of world you inhabit as a 21yrs old. i can see where you are coming from using manipulative words like may kill herself. it looks good on paper and getting away with injustice. like i said these are manifestation mainly restricted to social housing and the vast blended family wahala you see these days.

it is madness in the first place to be shouting at people. if a man own his home ask as many social worker as you like you cant put a restraining order on him.  ever heard the word " an english man's home is his castle"?

i know you are 21. dont believe every hype you hear our people say. this land is not as lawless as most people think. there are experts for everything that can be called as a professional witness.  

you must have read in the papers 2yrs ago i think the nigerian woman jailed for lying under oath against the husband in court.  her case fell apart easily. it was fight over some silly council flat that got out of around if you remember. last yr another one was adopting children to get council flat. she is serving at her majesty pleasure now for some years. there is more to life than council flats. if you dont love people, let them go quietly. i dont know how manipulation becomes right.  

love is always right. manipulation even in the name of getting housing is always wrong

Agaba yu sooo  

spikedcylinder:

Moyola, does anyone actually attempt to read the things you type?

yeh, whai?

whatever90:

no be u transfer am give me

@ all!!!

@ jjyou, if a man owns his house and he is either violent or abusive, the court can put a restraining order on him till his partner/wife is comfortable with him in the house. an englishman's house is his castle is an old fable that does not apply in the land these days. laws can be manipulated to suit whoever. do u know how many men languishing in the prison system because of their wives? women teach the children to lie against their fathers to put him in more trouble. i am not saying this is right or acceptable but i am telling you these things happen. stop thinking these things happen only in council flat areas. it is widespread and cuts across every class in the society. there are greedy and evil men/women everywhere.

LMAO moyola ,who be agbaya