Jogejo, You've said it point blank.
I support you ooo.

Most men aren't like that. Both men are lazy. My uncle helps his wife do some house chores.

Gentlemen... Ladies...  Peeps in the house...

Make una hear well well..

In posts all over Nairaland, we here of the great SIN of generalization.. And yet, here we are at the starting blocks all over again...

First of all, I would like to say that I find the use of the word DOMESTICATING very degrading and denigrating... Men are not animals.. and we shouldnt be addressed as such.. if it had been women which had been the subject of a post of this nature, we would have been hearing fire and brime-stone about our "sexist" comments and statements...

Secondly, the fact that some men choose not to indulge in house chores doesn't make it a generality..

It would be instructive and enlightening for the men in the house who do not subscribe to doing the house chores to come forth and declare in their respective house holds what the current women population is.. how many females they are currently living with or were living with at the time they chose not to do the house chores.. [I'm sure these men aren't bachelors.. or even if they are, possibly have female younger ones living with them..]

As for me, I have neither had problems with keeping my house clean or with doing my own cooking.. My house is my palace, and I treat it as such.. I do not have to wait for a woman to come to my house to keep it in the state I'm acustomed to..

In approaching a topic like this, one should add a reasonable degree of balance.. In the traditional african society of way back, the "traditional" role of the man was as bread winner, and of the woman was as "home maker"... This was the norm then, and was the way children were brought up to respect and emulate.. the fact that modern society has evolved to the point where women now have more active roles in the family, does not make the traditions to now become irrelevant.. or that they should be done away with..

That having been said.. very few children get raised without some form of home training.. depending on one's circumstances in life, that would range from the basics of personal hygiene and home making to more complex tasks as cooking.. I'm very certaint that no Nigerian child was raised without the knowledge of the basics in the kitchen.. [otherwise they'd starve.. ].. and even the one who didnt have the opportunity to hone these skills at home would have done so at their various tertiary institutions.. [even if it meant using a ring boiler to make tea for breakfast or eba... ]

These skills don't just die away.. they are latent.. Hence every man has a certaint facility around the house.. whether they choose to display this is their own choice.. but most certaintly, men are not animals to be "domesticated"...


My two kobo...


Saint...

okay Simon.

well there is nothing wrong for the men to help in the house.
most romantic husband help their wife in the kitchen.
so i see nothing wrong in it

domesticating nigerian men?.....

... and pigs will fly; just after obesere features celine dion as his back up singer in his next album

funny..........muhahah................. :Dwahala they for nija.(trouble in nigeria)

There is a simple way to solve the problem of having a husband who doesn't do housework - don't marry the guy in the first place. If you've been doing your man's laundry and then you get married . . . what exactly are you expecting to change.

Someone said something about if women can give their guy's sex, why can't their guys do some housework. . . what kind of bs is that?

there are tradeoffs in most relationships. If your man doesn't like doing housework, then there is probably something he's trading off for that.

The thing is, most guys would actually go ahead and make this compromise . . . without saying a word. So yeah, that 10 hours you like spending in the mall every weekend that your man actually comes along with you - thats the reason why you vacuum the house and do the laundry.

Women seem to think that something is only important when you have to complain about it. They don't seem to understand that the guy is already giving up stuff as well.

There are so many posts about stuff men should be doing or don't do. Is it that men are so bad. . .or that men don't complain as much. . . my guess, guys don't complain as much.

It's a pity i can't get to insert IAH's post on this topic...thats eaxatly my stand. I have no problem doing the house chores and stuffs ( i get to do almost all now cuz i'm the only girl and don't like mom stressing out) but as they know me for our house here, if i arrange and you disarrange, or i'm out of town and get back home to meet sh*t, hmmmm serious katakata go emerge ooo. If my hussy can't do it he'd better pay some pple to help him out before i come.

I don't like contentious women. Instead of fighting your husband over nothing, you employ someone to fix the problem. Sheesh!

What of if we are living somewhere like in the U.K, where it's pretty expensive employing people to do house jobs for u. You've got to pay them the minimum wage per hour.

And why can't the husband get someone to fix it too?

Men should help out with housework but i dont know what women complain about, nowadays they have become more lazy and more rebelious, all they want it the men's role, even at home, regrettably...............i will help out with the housework, but let the woman know her role as a woman.

This has been very interesting to read. I like how Seun and a couple of others simply admitted that they don't like doing chores so if they have the opportunity not to do so, they just won't do it and use the gender thing as an excuse.
Now @ kamakula, you had a very valid point cuz that's just what I was thinking. I just won't marry a man who expects me to do everything around the house as if it's my duty while he does nothing. Now I was feeling you on the tradeoffs till you said something about him spending time with the woman at the mall so she's doing housework in exchange. We also do things we don't want to do so what is our compensation for that? And you shouldn't generalize against all women, saying something about us complaining just like we shouldn't generalize against all men.
I don't know what was meant by the woman should know her role as a woman because I believe in equality and the only role I can play that the man can't is as a mother. As a partner in the relationship, whatever is expected of me, I expect the same from him, especially around the house.
I'm not speaking for anyone else here but myself but I could care less what most men feel about domestics as long as my man knows that we're both doing it. My reason for that is too many women accept bs from men, then complain about it. Until we (women) set standards for ourselves that we adhere to, I don't see men changing.
My job will be just as stressful as my husband's (probably even more so) so I'm not coming home to cook and clean while he rests as if I'm not tired. I'm already putting it in my boyfriend's head that I do not try to fit into the stereotypical role of a woman and we should all do the same.

I guess this all boils down to a matter of perception and orientation..

In Nigeria, most men can get away with not being "domesticated" [I still hate the word.. ] becuase the cheaper state of the nation (compared with overseas) can permit the use of house-helps and the likes, to take care of that aspect of home care..

Overseas, life is more expensive.. hence, in order to maintain the same level of home care at optimal budget, chores have to be shared between partners.. (to a certain degree)..

However, this is not to say that men can not take care of all these miscellaneous duties if they have no choice.. (after all, all men were once boys, and most boyz have at one stage in their lives handled such.. ).. Hence my point in my original post that men do not have to be "DOMESTICATED" in order to see the need to assist around the house.. they just have to see the need.. period..

You see, you cannot domesticate a man if by nature he doesnt like domestic work. And its also not a role for the man to do domestic work. If he can assist, wonderful, if he cannot, pls lets not hold it against them and now start the "Domestication theory". But not all Nigerian Men need the "domesticating" Some are naturally "domesticated" .

My husband is one that I am proud to say is an example. he joins and assists me a lot in domestic work. In fact, you hardly see him idle. He likes being busy with one thing or the other at anytime. For a woman, this kind of a man is a challenge.So in this case no need to domesticate him. rather I even ask him not to worry that I can handle anything. But he doesnt cook. I dont allow him do that if am around. Never. If both man and woman are working and come back late, it is left for the woman to plan the house work to suit the official work. Planning makes the whole work easier. They are by their nature, not domestic animals.

sorry to pick issues here..

but men are not "animals"... Neither are they to be "DOMESTICATED"..

Couldn't we look for a less agravating word to describe a person's home care skills..

You all make it sound like the man is like cattle or sheep or chickens or something..


However, I do agree with you on one very salient point u raised..

WOMEN should plan their office life and their homes carefully, taking full cognisance of their expected duties in both environments..

You see the topic says domesticating Nigerian men so i was reacting to the topic. No need to pick issues here. You would also have noticed i put the word in quote.

@ Viv..

my annoyance isnt directed at you really.. more at the general folk who feel that men are "beasts" to be domesticated..

Believe me, this sentiment isnt just held by you (as you can tell from a majority of the posts here.. )

No offense taken, hope I haven't offended you either.. if so, my appologies..

CimonJorr ,
You know domestication takes several generations of selective breeding. I wonder how on earth that could be done to men, I mean controlling their breeding habits

@CimonJorr
we are together. No qualms

naijadiva:

This has been very interesting to read. I like how Seun and a couple of others simply admitted that they don't like doing chores so if they have the opportunity not to do so, they just won't do it and use the gender thing as an excuse.
Now @ kamakula, you had a very valid point because that's just what I was thinking. I just won't marry a man who expects me to do everything around the house as if it's my duty while he does nothing. Now I was feeling you on the tradeoffs till you said something about him spending time with the woman at the mall so she's doing housework in exchange. We also do things we don't want to do so what is our compensation for that? And you shouldn't generalize against all women, saying something about us complaining just like we shouldn't generalize against all men.
I don't know what was meant by the woman should know her role as a woman because I believe in equality and the only role I can play that the man can't is as a mother. As a partner in the relationship, whatever is expected of me, I expect the same from him, especially around the house.
I'm not speaking for anyone else here but myself but I could care less what most men feel about domestics as long as my man knows that we're both doing it. My reason for that is too many women accept bs from men, then complain about it. Until we (women) set standards for ourselves that we adhere to, I don't see men changing.
My job will be just as stressful as my husband's (probably even more so) so I'm not coming home to cook and clean while he rests as if I'm not tired. I'm already putting it in my boyfriend's head that I do not try to fit into the stereotypical role of a woman and we should all do the same.

I grew up in the village with my grandma so we were all trained to do housework without fuss. To make matters worse, there is scarcity of girls in the family we were 9 boys and 2 girls in the whole compound so from fetching water in the stream to washing gutter, am an expert in toilet washing and i once washed plates for a living in London so I dont know all the fuss about house chores , its just like taking ur bath yourself , nothing more
Before u turn on ur dish washer, I have finished washing my plates lol

you go old if you are expecting nigerian men to get domesticated i don't just know why most of them got this chauvinistic air around them.

To face the reality, Most Nigerian men cannot be domesticated. They havent even got a trace of it in their genes. The time spent in quarrelling over the issue, one for finish the domestic affairs tete and enjoy the other side of domestic affairs.

nigerian men are now farm animals to be domesticated bah?  house work is not wired in our DNA 

ThoniaSlim:

you go old if you are expecting nigerian men to get domesticated i don't just know why most of them got this chauvinistic air around them.

sweet heart, what are u saying? am i not good enough at home

I guess i married Mr perfect
He can cook , clean , do the laundry and he`s a great father for our 2 year old daughter.
I don`t have to ask him to help me out in the household & he`s always been like that.
In fact , most of the men in his family help their wives , it`s some of the wives who are very lazy. One of the men works 6 ( sometimes 7 days & in shifts ) a week, still he helps out with some of the housework while madam sits at home and complaints it`s difficult been a stay at home mum.

.

Which part of the farm should we put u in?

Siena:

Lol, I'm pretty domesticated, and proud of it!

They're just bunch of lazy monkeys jor.

You say "Honey, can you wash the dishes cuz I'll be getting home late"

He answers "Don't worry, you can wash it anytime you get back. It'll be there"

There is no domestic thing I do that my husband does not do. I would not have married him otherwise. I know that alot of Nigerian men are like that and they feel that it is their birth right to be useless in the home. I can't imagine such a life. I am not saying that my husband does housework as much as I do because honestly he can think he has cleaned up the kitchen but then I have to go over it again but he tries. I don't need him to wear an apron anf become Martha Stewart but he needs to be useful around the house. My father is no stranger to the kitchen so I can't imagine marrying the kind of man that cannot tell a tomato from an apple. I pray for my mother in law everyday. It is all because of her.I still believe though that if you give anybody (man or woman) the opportunity they would just as soon not do most of these things. So before you jump into a relationship with someone and this is a big deal for you you better deal with that before you say your I do's

Siena:

Lol, I'm pretty domesticated, and proud of it!

were you in a zoo before?

Me I want a domesticated man, sha!!!