germainediva:
Please I need matured advice,am a married woman who has fallen helplessly inlove with another married man, I have tried all I can to put him out of my mind but the more I try the worst it get, I have even gone for counseling,deliverance,fasted and all that but yet reality is starring me in the face, I have deleted all his contact from my fone but then I see him every day at work tho he dosent no this.....please my brothers and sisters how do I get out of this mess(I have never felt this way in my life)

There must be something he does that makes you like him. Or a particular gesture two of you shared.

And who told you he doesn't know? In two years he must have noticed your subtle smile and attention, but is probably respecting your marital status.

Or he may not even fancy you at all and doesn't know how to let you down gently.

I doubt he would sleep with you even if he had the chance. I know because I am familiar with such situations.

I advice you to pray on this matter. See it as a cross you must bear. Eventually your frustration will automatically lead you to friendzoning him.

P.S. Don't do anything silly like sending him secret text messages, private notes, etc. It can be very annoying and he'll know its from you.

germainediva:
Please I need matured advice,am a married woman who has fallen helplessly inlove with another married man, I have tried all I can to put him out of my mind but the more I try the worst it get, I have even gone for counseling,deliverance,fasted and all that but yet reality is starring me in the face, I have deleted all his contact from my fone but then I see him every day at work tho he dosent no this.....please my brothers and sisters how do I get out of this mess(I have never felt this way in my life)

You have fasted, gone for deliverance, counselling and fasted, yet you still have a 2 year crush on a man minding his own business jeje
Youve been married for 13 years and with 3 kids, so I assume that you are in your 30's so you are not one lovestruck teenager but a fully grown adult.

You know what to do, but you choose not to and until you sleep with this guy, your eyes wont clear. Youve already started looking for excuses saying your husband doesnt have your time due to work commitments, but If the man doesnt fend for you and the children, you will be the first to call him irresponsible.

You are the one who wants something so you are the one who is going to have to teach him by example. Everything you see in the "perfect" office guy you can get your husband to do but only if you choose to invest in your husband.
How many times have you taken a day off work to meet your husband at work and sit on his table and gist with him, bring him food or take him to lunch? he doesnt have to do all the chasing all the time and you too can use your initiative to keep the fire burning. Teach your husband what you want him to do and he will soon get the hang of it when he sees how much joy it brings you.

I was discussing with a young lady the other day and was discussing how many ladies dress beautifully & colour coded for work and keep their hair out nicely and wear nice jewellery, but at home put on that black sleeping cap and hide the hair and put on one baggy dress and thats what the hubby gets to see everyday.

Many dress for outsiders not insiders. In short the "perfect" man you see in the office may be a terrible husband at home & with filthy habits so dont be fooled by outward appearances. I am sure his wife has 1001 complaints about him too. So is that the man you want to break your marriage and damage your childrens future for?

You better go and relax and find a hobby or wear sunglasses in the office. If he is in your line of vision change your desk abeg. . . .and spend the time that you are spending lusting over another man, investing in your own marriage and you will see the results.

Double

One simple answer! Bleep the thunder out of the guy but be discrete about it. Ensure he is not a Kiss 'n Tell.

cococandy: If only you knew what he's like behind closed doors.
You'll see he may not be better than your husband. Sadly getting close enough to find out for yourself may ruin your marriage and by the time you discover he's not worth the trouble,you'd have lost both ways.

Ask for a transfer.

I actually did dat last year but was denied

chaircover:

You have fasted, gone for deliverance, counselling and fasted, yet you still have a 2 year crush on a man minding his own business jeje
Youve been married for 13 years and with 3 kids, so I assume that you are in your 30's so you are not one lovestruck teenager but a fully grown adult.

You know what to do, but you choose not to and until you sleep with this guy, your eyes wont clear. Youve already started looking for excuses saying your husband doesnt have your time due to work commitments, but If the man doesnt fend for you and the children, you will be the first to call him irresponsible.

You are the one who wants something so you are the one who is going to have to teach him by example. Everything you see in the "perfect" office guy you can get your husband to do but only if you choose to invest in your husband.
How many times have you taken a day off work to meet your husband at work and sit on his table and gist with him, bring him food or take him to lunch? he doesnt have to do all the chasing all the time and you too can use your initiative to keep the fire burning. Teach your husband what you want him to do and he will soon get the hang of it when he sees how much joy it brings you.

I was discussing with a young lady the other day and was discussing how many ladies dress beautifully & colour coded for work and keep their hair out nicely and wear nice jewellery, but at home put on that black sleeping cap and hide the hair and put on one baggy dress and thats what the hubby gets to see everyday.

Many dress for outsiders not insiders. In short the "perfect" man you see in the office may be a terrible husband at home & with filthy habits so dont be fooled by outward appearances. I am sure his wife has 1001 complaints about him too. So is that the man you want to break your marriage and damage your childrens future for?

You better go and relax and find a hobby or wear sunglasses in the office. If he is in your line of vision change your desk abeg. . . .and spend the time that you are spending lusting over another man, investing in your own marriage and you will see the results.

what I have told you is d truth...........I have tried a lot of tins just t kip ds off me.....tho dere was a time we used t chat on watsup I went as far as deleting all his contact n watup app..........tho chat was just a frndly 1.......when he asked me why am no more using watsup......I rudely told him my fone crashed,he askd me couple of times but stopped due t d manner I respond t him.

Odikwa egwu I guess u dnt kw d meaning of love bc it is jst a feelin to u. Madam married woman hw old r u bc u sound immature

I can understand if u say u admire him or u r attracted to him but nt this lust u call love. My advice draw close to God n save ur love for ur husband only

SAMBARRY: *clears throat*




why haven't I been here since. Anyway let me spread my designer mat and like kanwulia will say "another one don cam"

These pictures you keep posting most of the time dont make sense or even correllate with what you say, whats the meaning of the one you posted now?

op for two years? like seriously?

ok, only way out is this: just fulfil your fantasy and fvck him already only once, thats the only way you can stop imagining things, cos as far as im concerned, you find it difficult to keep your mind off him cos you cant stop imagining how he will reap your dress apart, hump on you and start digging your honey pot while you go hmmm...awwww....oohhh....yeahhh.....as you inhale and exhale heavily under some deep, full thrusting.

If deleting his contacts, fasting, prayers and deliverance hasnt worked, then fvcking him will do the magic trust me. Before fvcking him, just ask God for forgiveness ahead of time and also pray he is an indomie man with poor pre-intimacy skills so that the urge to go back for more rounds will naturally die down drastically since you cant get the satisfaction you crave for from him. Start from here first.
.
.
.
.

If on the other hand he is a stud in bed, erhm...erhm....erhm...ok, i dey come first make i chop Sunday rice

germainediva: sometimes its like am loosing my mind.......I wish dere was a drug I culd take to make it go away........cos its touture

sweetie believe this your feelings are very normal, most married ppl feel like that. The question is, do you love your hubby? Did you marry him at a very age? Is he your first love? Have you ever feel trapped in your marriage? Do you think you get close with this other guy without getting intimate? Has your love for the other man affect the love you hv for ur hubby? Pm me if you dnt want to answer these questions here and i will tell you how to go abt it

I'll start by telling you that whatever is making you go gaga for this guy is not love, but infatuation and lust unfortunately, and its not worth risking your 13yrs old marriage for.
Like I said, I was once in ur shoes, but the difference is that the guy in question made advances to me, initially I waz like wat da heck does he want, but as time goes by, my mind(devil) started playing trick on my emotions and before you say SNAZZ I was having sleepless nights over him. It was bad, so bad that my hussy noticed my uneasiness.
How did I deal with it?
1) I prayed for Gods wisdom and grace.

2) I asked myself what is it in this guy dat my hussy doesn't have or what can he offer that my hussy cannot give. If its money, I prayed for the grace to be contented.

3) I started seeing the guy as a devil(distraction). Yes oo. I continued to tell myself that this guy is out to break my home.

4) I developed a new form of love for my hussy. Yes. New love. Those things I was seeing in that guy, I started imagining them 4 my hussy. Call it fantasy if you like. I fantasize and daydream about the man I've been married to and have been living with for years. I do crazy stuffs with him. Somtimes when he comes back from work I grab him from d door and seduce him to love making.
At first hussy was lkie what's going on, but bet me he enjoyed evry bit of the new love.
What was I doing? Igniting the fire of love in my marriage, all the while trying to think less of the other guy.
Note am equally a mother of three.
I bought new perfume for him to have a different and more romantic fragrance on him, I did a lot of things that I may not be able to write every thing down.
There was a day I jokingly told him to better start re-toasting me again oo, he was like, "babe all this one you are doing are you sure nobody is toasting you out there"? I was like "dey dia nah, as I hot reach, dem no go toast me before"?
I jokingly passed a message to him.

5) I continued loving my hussy with this new love, even when I don't feel like it. And I continued to pray. And I stopped paying attention to that other guy, no matter how 'dressy' or handsome he appears before me, I turn a blind bat. I stopped seeing anything good in him

6) When I was half-way satisfied with my conscience. I opened up and told hussy everything. I was ready to take whatever tantrum he would have thrown(cos hussy was and is still a good man).
Surprisingly, hussy was not mad at me, infact he commended me, he spoilt me with more love. He took me shopping, movies, clubbing, just name it. He made me feel like a teenager. I felt guilty and fulfilled at the same time.
Sorry for the long sermon

In your case, I think it is and will be easier for you to deal with. Reason is that you are the one falling for this guy and unfortunately or rather fortunately for you, he doesn't notice it(and please don't make him notice).

Forget whatever you are feeling for him, its not real, believe me its not real. Channel that energy, time and emotions you are wasting on him into your marriage, work on yourself, ignite fire of love and romance, see your hussy in a different but positive light, fall in love with him all over again. Do those little romantic stuffs you did in the past, plan a getaway weekend with him(I did that too) just the two of you, have fun, fun, and more fun with your hussy, before you realize it, that your crush will become history.

Chai! Na me type all these. Abeg my thumb is hurting. Make I rest. Feel free to ask me any question if you have.

6

snazzylove: I'll start by telling you that whatever is making you go gaga for this guy is not love, but infatuation and lust unfortunately, and its not worth risking your 13yrs old marriage for.
Like I said, I was once in ur shoes, but the difference is that the guy in question made advances to me, initially I waz like wat da heck does he want, but as time goes by, my mind(devil) started playing trick on my emotions and before you say SNAZZ I was having sleepless nights over him. It was bad, so bad that my hussy noticed my uneasiness.
How did I deal with it?
1) I prayed for Gods wisdom and grace.

2) I asked myself what is it in this guy dat my hussy doesn't have or what can he offer that my hussy cannot give. If its money, I prayed for the grace to be contented.

3) I started seeing the guy as a devil(distraction). Yes oo. I continued to tell myself that this guy is out to break my home.

4) I developed a new form of love for my hussy. Yes. New love. Those things I was seeing in that guy, I started imagining them 4 my hussy. Call it fantasy if you like. I fantasize and daydream about the man I've been married to and have been living with for years. I do crazy stuffs with him. Somtimes when he comes back from work I grab him from d door and seduce him to love making.
At first hussy was lkie what's going on, but bet me he enjoyed evry bit of the new love.
What was I doing? Igniting the fire of love in my marriage, all the while trying to think less of the other guy.
Note am equally a mother of three.
I bought new perfume for him to have a different and more romantic fragrance on him, I did a lot of things that I may not be able to write every thing down.
There was a day I jokingly told him to better start re-toasting me again oo, he was like, "babe all this one you are doing are you sure nobody is toasting you out there"? I was like "dey dia nah, as I hot reach, dem no go toast me before"?
I jokingly passed a message to him.

5) I continued loving my hussy with this new love, even when I don't feel like it. And I continued to pray. And I stopped paying attention to that other guy, no matter how 'dressy' or handsome he appears before me, I turn a blind bat. I stopped seeing anything good in him

6) When I was half-way satisfied with my conscience. I opened up and told hussy everything. I was ready to take whatever tantrum he would have thrown(cos hussy was and is still a good man).
Surprisingly, hussy was not mad at me, infact he commended me, he spoilt me with more love. He took me shopping, movies, clubbing, just name it. He made me feel like a teenager. I felt guilty and fulfilled at the same time.
Sorry for the long sermon

In your case, I think it is and will be easier for you to deal with. Reason is that you are the one falling for this guy and unfortunately or rather fortunately for you, he doesn't notice it(and please don't make him notice).

Forget whatever you are feeling for him, its not real, believe me its not real. Channel that energy, time and emotions you are wasting on him into your marriage, work on yourself, ignite fire of love and romance, see your hussy in a different but positive light, fall in love with him all over again. Do those little romantic stuffs you did in the past, plan a getaway weekend with him(I did that too) just the two of you, have fun, fun, and more fun with your hussy, before you realize it, that your crush will become history.

Chai! Na me type all these. Abeg my thumb is hurting. Make I rest. Feel free to ask me any question if you have.

6

This is very beautiful and practical

OP, please follow this

7

germainediva: my dear I have been married for 13years with 3kids.......whots on ma hubby's mind s how t make enof money t take kia of his kids.........when I tok about attention he makes it look as if am not considret

I wish all married men will read this quote.WOMEN NEED AND WANT ATTENTION.They feed and thrive on it.
Lady,if your husband will listen,have a talk with him.Let him know you want his attention.Better still,get that attention from him.Be the one to dress nice and smell nice.Make yourself hot.Get nice undies and look tantalizing to him.Arrange getaways for two if the opportunity presents itself.

Don't neglect to pay for grace and wisdom too.This phase can pass.

OP, you need to get more busy!
You are probably not busy enough.
I could remember having a crush on someone sometime ago. When my work load seriously increased, the crush faded off by itself.

5minsmadness:


Babe, seriously?

This from someone calling herself 'kreamy' diva

Bros,wetin i for tell am?

5minsmadness go cure her craze...

I can't stop laughing at the 'wear sunglasses at work line in CC's advice' . Good one though.

I initially thought this thread was a joke, but then, you keep coming back. I'm impressed with the responses, hard truths to knock you back to reality (that is if you want to o).

germainediva: what I have told you is d truth...........I have tried a lot of tins just t kip ds off me.....tho dere was a time we used t chat on watsup I went as far as deleting all his contact n watup app..........tho chat was just a frndly 1.......when he asked me why am no more using watsup......I rudely told him my fone crashed,he askd me couple of times but stopped due t d manner I respond t him.

you just need a reality check

Get a peice of paper and draw a line down the middle and write the advantages and disadvantages of if you go with this man and you are caught. Trust me its not worth it. The man will not leave his wife for you and you may end up breaking 2 homes and damaging innocent children in the process.

What you are looking for in Sokoto is in your sokoto
Your husband is yours and you can mould him into anything that you want.
If its time and attention that you want, tell him. You are right some men think that putting food on the table is the most important thing in this world; Yes its important but a woman needs more than just that.

Like I said earlier, teach him by example the things that you want him to do. He is your hubby and not a stranger. You should be free with him. Book weekends away, spend quality time with him, encourage him to do a sport/hobby with you and do things with you no matter how silly these things may sound. . . all these things will bring you closer. Buy him small gifts and gestures and he will do the same to you too. The perfect man is in there somewhere, you just have to bring him out.

no wonder mrs.etuk, mrs. bankole, Hajiya salamatu keep laughing at my silly jokes when it's dry. This thread as exposed their secret of calling my phone at odd hours

chaircover:


What you are looking for in Sokoto is in your sokoto
Your husband is yours and you can mould him into anything that you want.
If its time and attention that you want, tell him.

Like I said earlier, teach him by example the things that you want him to do. He is your hubby and not a stranger.

The bolded is what I dont really understand about most relationships. Why would you marry someone you can't tell anything and everything?

Why cover your body from someone who would bury you? Maybe when people understand that, they would save themselves lots of troubles.

snazzylove: I'll start by telling you that whatever is making you go gaga for this guy is not love, but infatuation and lust unfortunately, and its not worth risking your 13yrs old marriage for.
Like I said, I was once in ur shoes, but the difference is that the guy in question made advances to me, initially I waz like wat da heck does he want, but as time goes by, my mind(devil) started playing trick on my emotions and before you say SNAZZ I was having sleepless nights over him. It was bad, so bad that my hussy noticed my uneasiness.
How did I deal with it?
1) I prayed for Gods wisdom and grace.

2) I asked myself what is it in this guy dat my hussy doesn't have or what can he offer that my hussy cannot give. If its money, I prayed for the grace to be contented.

3) I started seeing the guy as a devil(distraction). Yes oo. I continued to tell myself that this guy is out to break my home.

4) I developed a new form of love for my hussy. Yes. New love. Those things I was seeing in that guy, I started imagining them 4 my hussy. Call it fantasy if you like. I fantasize and daydream about the man I've been married to and have been living with for years. I do crazy stuffs with him. Somtimes when he comes back from work I grab him from d door and seduce him to love making.
At first hussy was lkie what's going on, but bet me he enjoyed evry bit of the new love.
What was I doing? Igniting the fire of love in my marriage, all the while trying to think less of the other guy.
Note am equally a mother of three.
I bought new perfume for him to have a different and more romantic fragrance on him, I did a lot of things that I may not be able to write every thing down.
There was a day I jokingly told him to better start re-toasting me again oo, he was like, "babe all this one you are doing are you sure nobody is toasting you out there"? I was like "dey dia nah, as I hot reach, dem no go toast me before"?
I jokingly passed a message to him.

5) I continued loving my hussy with this new love, even when I don't feel like it. And I continued to pray. And I stopped paying attention to that other guy, no matter how 'dressy' or handsome he appears before me, I turn a blind bat. I stopped seeing anything good in him

6) When I was half-way satisfied with my conscience. I opened up and told hussy everything. I was ready to take whatever tantrum he would have thrown(cos hussy was and is still a good man).
Surprisingly, hussy was not mad at me, infact he commended me, he spoilt me with more love. He took me shopping, movies, clubbing, just name it. He made me feel like a teenager. I felt guilty and fulfilled at the same time.
Sorry for the long sermon

In your case, I think it is and will be easier for you to deal with. Reason is that you are the one falling for this guy and unfortunately or rather fortunately for you, he doesn't notice it(and please don't make him notice).

Forget whatever you are feeling for him, its not real, believe me its not real. Channel that energy, time and emotions you are wasting on him into your marriage, work on yourself, ignite fire of love and romance, see your hussy in a different but positive light, fall in love with him all over again. Do those little romantic stuffs you did in the past, plan a getaway weekend with him(I did that too) just the two of you, have fun, fun, and more fun with your hussy, before you realize it, that your crush will become history.

Chai! Na me type all these. Abeg my thumb is hurting. Make I rest. Feel free to ask me any question if you have.

6

thanks a lot 4 taking time t answer me tho I v tried and sometime I wll tink I v won but after a while its kips happening.........guess I wll kip tryn

You have been advised here of the consequences of the after effect of sleeping with this so called man. Note this, immediately he has his way and bleep you, he will NEVER see you as a person and will surely make you feel like committing suicide.

Even we men do have such feelings on other ladies but you must be ready to control yourself of that urge. What I do is to make sure I get my woman those things that makes that woman look good and wanting me to like them. I go shopping for anything good to make her look great and take my mind off any other woman. That is devils work.Never fall for this as you will EVER live to regret it.

Madam pls follow snazzylove's adv. There is nothing special about that man in ur office. He's just a man and another woman's husband for that matter. If you even love this man,you will place his wellbeing above what you feel. Your feelings has just put two families in danger. You are clearly infatuated. Love is a choice. If his wife do come to ur office,try meeting her. That may be the reminder you needed.

zeb04: If you weren't married,i would advice you let him know because most times when we get to be Friends with the people we crush on,we find out things we wouldn't know from afar of and It just kills the whole romantic stuff but then again,you are a married woman and when I talk about *Leaving 80% to find 20%.......I am sure you know what am talking about.Goodluck

OMG! No matter how hard guys try to respect ladies and avoid taking advantage of their foolishness, they will still come begging. Pls advise her that the guy in question might be seeing his own wife as queen......how will he see MRS loverwoman? A tissue paper, toy or better still *hand-washing basin* that's when it will clear from her eyes.

germainediva: thanks a lot 4 taking time t answer me tho I v tried and sometime I wll tink I v won but after a while its kips happening.........guess I wll kip tryn

Woman stop trying...go ye and shag the demons out of yourself and ye shall be happy.

Pls phuck this man and let us rest.

@OP dis kind tin we dey hungry you for two years e go dey do you make you do am comot eye I wan yarn you say d gbese wey go land for ur head u no go fit cari am make u pray Baba God to comot dat shuku shuku spirit for your mind cos na bad spirit be dat..unless u wan bring bad luck for ur husband

Please and please let this woman knw the fact's.....u see in this world we tend's to get attrated to ppeo from time to time, it maybe in ur working place,or classmate's maybe bussines partner's it's all natural feeling's tend's to develop toward's ppeo we re attracted too,maybe due to his nature,personality or look...so I back u up dear....it aren't ur fault's u re attracted to ur working mate. Just do this simple logic...tell ur husband exact's thing's u've told us here....I swear?...the. I don't care attitude,attention and more love would be considered to be showered on u...note*that's if he's still love u tho. And he himself will adjust and do the right thing trust me.....he saw something's in u b4 he propose to u...after doing this trick I swear it's gonna ignite the spark of passion of love which has been burning low since.#(work out of the thread,caught in btw smile,nd frown ).bye.

diamondpaul: Please and please let this woman knw the fact's.....u see in this world we tend's to get attrated to ppeo from time to time, it maybe in ur working place,or classmate's maybe bussines partner's it's all natural feeling's tend's to develop toward's ppeo we re attracted too,maybe due to his nature,personality or look...so I back u up dear....it aren't ur fault's u re attracted to ur working mate. Just do this simple logic...tell ur husband exact's thing's u've told us here....I swear?...the. I don't care attitude,attention and more love would be considered to be showered on u...note*that's if he's still love u tho. And he himself will adjust and do the right thing trust me.....he saw something's in u b4 he propose to u...after doing this trick I swear it's gonna ignite the spark of passion of love which has been burning low since.#(work out of the thread,caught in btw smile,nd frown ).bye.

Note my brother,All men cannot be like you as per the way you expressed herein.

By telling her husband, an African and Nigerian man, she has already committed the act and her inlaws, family members will be told.

My advise for her is for her to control herself and try to erase that from her mind. The day she voice this out, she is finished.The African man can even throw her out or start beating her.

Op, NEVER tell your husbandooooooooo.

Hmmmmm...
Since e don reach 2yrs ..

1. Get a life sized doll
2. attach d guys pix to d dolls face
3. Fxxxk d doll mercilessly daily
NotE: no known demerits. Tnk me later.

Do things like this really happen? #worried.

Telling my hubby is a no go area .........I grateful 4 all d positive advice here......women who have been in ds situation shuld pls tell me pratical tins dey did

Telling my hubby is a no go area .........I grateful 4 all d positive advice here......women who have been in ds situation shuld pls tell me pratical tins dey did to overcome

Op, what I will advise is dis.. First u r lusting over him. Try and meditate,breathe in , breathe out, and see him as a frnd, u wud like 2 knw. Keep yur feelings aside, I beg you. When u guys are frnds, give each other frndly hugs, and confides in each other. U will be amazed his kind of mindset, that will definitely turn u off, from having this intense heat over him. Then gradually u see him as a colleague and a brother.. Trust me with time, d so called luv will die down. But if u don't go close 2 him,those hot thots won't dissapear. Babe! Take d bull by d horn, and get. 2 be his frNd