Mistake 1: Trying To
Change Your Partner
"If they love me enough, they'll change to please
me." So many believe that they can and will
change their partner. It's only a matter of time.
They say, "If he loves me enough, he'll change
that small thing to please me." But to your
partner, that "small thing" isn't so small. Even if
they do try to change to please you, very often
they become resentful. "You don't love me for
myself, but for the person you want me to be,"
they say. And it's true. When you try to change
them they feel you don't really love them. You
just want to turn them into someone to fill your
needs.
Mistake 2: Feeling Like You're A Failure In
Relationships
When some people see that things aren't
working they become depressed. They start to
feel as though they're not loveable, that destiny
is against them or that they will always be a
failure in love. The truth is that you're not a
failure. You simple have not yet been taught
important truths about relationships. Once you
learn and practice new ideas and methods, you'll
be able to handle your life in a way you may
have never thought possible.
Mistake 3: Believing You Have To Be "Good
Enough" To Keep Their Love
Many feel they're not "good enough". They feel
they have to turn into a pretzel to keep
someone's love. Recently a woman came to me
and said, "I finally found a wonderful man but
I'm miserable in the relationship. Everyday I
worry that he'll find out who I really am and
leave." This woman not only expected rejection,
she actually did little things to bring it about.
Soon she began to sabotage the relationship,
finding fault with him at every turn. Although
she didn't realize it, she did this to feel better
about herself. The truth is we can never earn
another person's love. The more we try the
worse we feel. We must simply understand that
who we truly are is entirely loveable. We must
learn to make friends with ourselves.
Mistake 4: Rejecting Your Partner So They
Can't Do It First
Many reject their partners as protection
individuals against being rejected themselves.
The bottom line is these may not feel they
deserve a relationship, they feel they can't hold
onto a partner because they haven't accepted
themselves.
Mistake 5: Believing Your Partner Should
Read Your Mind, And Know What You Want
Without Your "Communicating" Clearly
"If he/she really loved me, they'd know what I
needed and give it to me." Many believe that if
their partners really loved them, they would read
their minds. It wouldn't be necessary to have to
actually ask for what they wanted. This is one of
the most serious mistakes people make in
relationships. Without truthful, open,
communication no relationship can flourish.
Effective communication, however, can be a
skill. And though you may feel that you have
repeated yourself a thousand times, that YOU
HAVE communicated. There are available
communication techniques which, in and of
themselves, can save your relationship. Not only
is it necessary to know what you want, and to
ask for it clearly (without producing guilt) -- it is
also necessary to be able to accept both yes and
no.
Mistake 6: Believing It's Your Partner's Job
To Make You Happy
Your partner is not there to meet all your needs.
If he/she says no, it doesn't mean he/she doesn't
love you. Some demands may be impossible to
fulfill. It is not your partner's job to make you
happy. Your partner should be here to grow and
share with you.You must learn to make yourself
happy, and make others happy as well. Love is
based upon communicating, consideration and
giving. First, however, you must be happy with
yourself, before another can make you happy.
Mistake 7: Believing It's Hard To Get Him To
Talk
"No matter what I do I can't get him to talk, and
I do not believe he is sharing all of his honest
feelings with me." Many women claim they can't
get men to talk. When time comes for intimate
conversation guys clam up, offer a few grunts
and expect women to magically understand
what's going on. Women feel shut out and men
feel misunderstood. However, there is something
women don't realize. Men want to talk. Under
the right conditions, they'll talk all night long.
Men desperately want to let others know what's
going on. However, something else many don't
realize is, men are more fragile than women. In
order for them to talk, things have to be right.
All that's needed here is to learn how to create
the right conditions, what is necessary for a man
to feel safe enough with you to talk.
Mistake 8: Being Addicted To Fighting
Many couples keep relationships alive and
exciting by fighting. When they see their partner
upset, it reassures them that they care. Others
have seen their parents fighting and this is the
only role model they have. Some are addicted to
the "high" they get out of fighting. A few crave
the feeling of domination or control. Domination
is not love. If it hurts, it is abuse, not love.

Quite amazingly ships don't sail on streams but on larger water bodies with different directions to turn to. Your points are quite accurate but it applies to not just women. Men too.

Where's the SOURCE.

@poster, ur write up are too much, can't u use it to create a little novel...it make sense tho!

1one: Where's the SOURCE.

You want chop the source?

izaray: @poster, ur write up are too much, can't u use it to create a little novel...it make sense tho!

When i see folks complaining about a post being too long and as a result won't read or asking for summary. I keep wondering the kind of youths we have in this country who cant sit down for 3 or 4 minutes to read and be informed. We really need a reorientation in this country.

The way some ladies makes move to change one to suit her can be very annoying especially when they themselves have bundles of crap about them that need to be changed.



Don't try to change me ,change yourself for me.

op after copying and pasting pls space out the write up (paste up) & give credits to the





source

You guys are obsessed with us (women) and our lifestyle/mistakes... etc
That mistake (1) is very common...nd the counter-reaction @you don't love me for me...is more common. Sometimes the lady doesn't have to push it.

A woman's key is tolerance and persuasion(not force). You gently persuade your man to join your party.

I think it should be '...mistakes women make...'. I stand to be corrected.

Truckpusher: The way some ladies makes move to change one to suit her can be very annoying especially when they themselves have bundles of crap about them that need to be changed.



Don't try to change me ,change yourself for me.

Eleyi gidi gan I say this one is strong