DATING: WHAT EXACTLY IS IT?
In today’s world, marriage is often preceded by a
period of dating. However, many people do not
understand what dating is and why it is done. As a
result, many young people have experienced broken
hearts and are now scared of dating relationships.
A date is an appointment between a male and a
female who agree to spend a segment of time
together for the purpose of getting better acquainted.
There are two distinct stages of dating. One is CASUAL
DATING and the other COMMITTED DATING.
CASUAL DATING
Casual dating relationships may or may not be
accompanied by romantic interests on the part of one
or both individuals. The focus of the casual dating is
enjoying life together and sharing a common interest.
It may be two young people who share the love of God
and attend fellowship together. Or it could be two
movie buffs that go to see movies together and
perhaps have a meal afterwards. The couple will
probably think of themselves as friends and not
consider their relationship a dating relationship. One
or both of the individuals may also have a dating
relationship with other people. In such situations if
one of them has strong romantic feelings, they may be
emotionally hurt knowing that the other person is
dating someone else.
Casual dating normally moves in one of three
directions.
If no romantic interest develops and they each have a
common interest, they may develop a strong
friendship that focuses on some common activity.
The relationship will end because:
One person has a strong romantic attraction while the
other does not.
There may or may not be a conflict.
Neither of the two persons have romantic interest nor
do they have strong common interest.
3. The two individuals may develop a strong romantic
interest in each other. They find their times together
mutually enjoyable and begin to think that they may
be “falling in love” with one another. The relationship
moves from casual dating to committed dating.
COMMITTED DATING
Committed dating is much more serious than casual
dating. It is normally perceived as an exclusive
relationship. If one of them chooses to date someone
else, the one who is betrayed will experience great
pain. They will not hesitate to verbalize their pain, and
the ensuing conversation will lead either to the
breakup of the relationship or to a commitment to
each other.
Committed dating relationships are focused on “getting
to know’ each other. Each individual is a complex
combination of heredity and environment. What you
see on the outside is not necessarily what you will
discover on the inside. A high level of honesty is
required on the part of both individuals in a healthy
dating relationship. There should be a willingness to
share histories with each other. Every individual has a
unique history (successes and failures inclusive) which
has brought them to where they are today. To build a
relationship upon deception or hidden truth is to
sabotage the relationship. Simply because something is
“hard to deal with” does not mean it should be
ignored.
Areas to be covered in the process of getting to know
each other in a committed relationship are:
Spirituality
Sexual history
Financial history
Family dynamics
Educational and vocational goals
A healthy dating relationship will be a balanced
relationship. Balancing the spiritual, intellectual,
emotional, social and physical aspects of life is one of
the characteristics of a healthy relationship.
Culled from “Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got
Married” by Gary Chapman
Many committed dating relationships go on to
marriage. However, in some committed dating
relationship, one or both individuals may eventually
discover that "what you see on the outside is not what
is on the inside". In such situations, where the couple
is unable to resolve the issues involved, the
relationship will come to a painful end.
Whether you are in a dating relationship or not, I
encourage you to read books like Gary Chapman's
"Things I Wish I'd Known Before Getting Married" and
Bimbo Odukoya's "How To Choose A Life Partner:165
Questions To Ask".

Super story!