ZERKNICHTER:
no i think there is a huge difference betwenn nigeria and europe
in germany the yardstick for success is the car u drive, the house u live in the job u do

Actually, I think koning got it right.

The OP asks if marriage is a measure of success - and yes, it is one amongst many and a successfull marriage can enhance all the others and does not necessarily impair them.

ZERKNICHTER: the peope to associate having a familiy (espcially with 2+ childin) with a boring life without the freedom to do what they want to do and they dont acknowledge the hard work of raising chidren

Success is an abstract value, so if marital success has little or no meaning to certain Germans", it matters not, it may to others.

ZERKNICHTER: if u ask a young german guy how he wants his live to be like he will say: be succesfull in the job, earning much money, having as less commitments as possible, travel a lot , having a nice girlfriend, and go out with her at the weekend
the society there looks down on big familys thats why the birth per woman rate in germany is 1.4

Which proves the point and also answers dasparrow wrong inference about marriage not moving a nation forward.

The replacement birthrate is about 2.2. Germany - even with the immigrations - is below that. It will affect their national success, as they will have to rely on immigrants, who in all liklihood will come from contries with values different to theirs.

And those immigrant can not come from other European countries "like them", because they are all in the same boat - below replacement birthrates. So yes, good marriages are a measure of individual and national success and achievement. Germany will soon come to that realisation and correct their abstract !


TV

PrettyPhine: @ Op. That,s a big myth. Though am single, if I get married tomorrow does not and will not make me more successful and responsible than those who have not. Marriage is not a yardstick for success, morality or being responsible, though people think when you are married u now have more responsibilities, but that does not make people in marriage responsible because a lot of couples have abandoned their matrimonial responsibilities while some do not even know the reasons for marriage. It,s true that our society these days has made married seem the ultimate, but that,s bad.

Firstly, if marriage is a goal to anyone and they associate it with success, then if they marry and marry well it bacomes a measure of success for them. You don't have to agree with that, it's just what it is. That does not mean it is the sole measure of success. Success is an abstract and individual thing.

Secondly, you are right, marriage does not make you more responsible. What it does do is give you more responsibilities, moreso if there are children involved. For men, the need and desire to provide for their families means many have to, and will, become more focused and productive. Even for women, the need to care for a family means choices are different from the single carefreewannabe days.

PrettyPhine: Meeehnn! I hate it when family members and friends ask me questions like..." when is MR RIGHT coming", "who,s the current guy now?" "when are u calling us?". It,s so so so annoying. I do ask myself, is marriage everything? I just changed my family surname to my dad's name on facebook, and that's when people rem'ber they will and chat me, asking; are u married, so u didnt invite me, is that ur hubby's name, this, that. What NONSENSE!!! I know I will get married someday, but that,s not the peak of success, and that does not make better or more successful than those who are not married. AFTERALL, THERE IS NO MARRIAGE IN HEAVEN. But am not against marriage ooo. Marriage is a good thing but not the piority in life.

Please don't be upset at your family, they have your best interests at heart - although I agree, the way many go about it could be better. There is usually an optimum window to marry and their concern - even if they don't articulate it very well - is to see that you don't miss it. Afterall you did say you want ot get married someday?

And like success, marriage may not necessariyl be "the priority", but it is "a priority" for many. And for those who know they want it, but don't prioritise it appropriately, they can find it frustrating if they miss their "marriage window".

Feel you pain, I went through it too. Hope you make the best marriage.


TV

TV01:
Actually, I think koning got it right.

The OP asks if marriage is a measure of success - and yes, it is one amongst many and a successfull marriage can enhance all the others and does not necessarily impair them.


Success is an abstract value, so if marital success has little or no meaning to certain Germans", it matters not, it may to others.


Which proves the point and also answers dasparrow wrong inference about marriage not moving a nation forward.

The replacement birthrate is about 2.2. Germany - even with the immigrations - is below that. It will affect their national success, as they will have to rely on immigrants, who in all liklihood will come from contries with values different to theirs.

And those immigrant can not come from other European countries "like them", because they are all in the same boat - below replacement birthrates. So yes, good marriages are a measure of individual and national success and achievement. Germany will soon come to that realisation and correct their abstract !


TV

im not sying this is good or bad; i just wanted to point out that there is a huge diffentce betwen the "the yardstick of sucess" of the nigerian society and "the yardstick of sucess" of the europe coutrys relating to the status of marrige

Oh yeah

Marriage is a level of success...now in Igbo land where I proudly come for and in Alhambra also

Marriage is a level of success and we view divorcees are a disgrace



What are we talking about here

For the ladies, it is. If you are not married till you get to age 40, people won't respect you even your junior sisters... Marriage in a way shows a level of success if you ask me. A man that is married, has a job is deemed successful, in a case where he has a job and not yet married the society see him as incomplete yet.

korel9: I have often heard and fallen a victim of this circumstance where after one has been asked and congratulated on every aspect of his life, the question is popped
"Are You Married?"

If you say "No" they scream
"What are you waiting for again?"

This often gets to me and leaves me wondering
"Is marriage a measure of success in life?"

na mumu dey worry 9ja ppl most especially d females, dey like marriage like say na champions league trophy dem win

Op, am not married, do u have a wife for me?

Success depends on urs version it is one side true the other side it is not but it is very important even before success or after success

In my own context, I would put it that success is all about someone's ability to take care of his responsibilities. So in relation to marriage, it takes a "successful" man to take care of his responsibilities and that of another person as a wife and probably the kids, in laws and so on.

mysticgal: A person could be said to be successfull not because he is married but how much he put in,to make the marriage succeed and also the work of his hands,that on his deathbed,he will smile and say"i die a fufilled man".I think in my perspective,this person is fufilled.
i like happy endings

Mennnnnnnnn...You sabi gbagaun o!

TV01:
Firstly, if marriage is a goal to anyone and they associate it with success, then if they marry and marry well it bacomes a measure of success for them. You don't have to agree with that, it's just what it is. That does not mean it is the sole measure of success. Success is an abstract and individual thing.

Secondly, you are right, marriage does not make you more responsible. What it does do is give you more responsibilities, moreso if there are children involved. For men, the need and desire to provide for their families means many have to, and will, become more focused and productive. Even for women, the need to care for a family means choices are different from the single carefreewannabe days.


Please don't be upset at your family, they have your best interests at heart - although I agree, the way many go about it could be better. There is usually an optimum window to marry and their concern - even if they don't articulate it very well - is to see that you don't miss it. Afterall you did say you want ot get married someday?

And like success, marriage may not necessariyl be "the priority", but it is "a priority" for many. And for those who know they want it, but don't prioritise it appropriately, they can find it frustrating if they miss their "marriage window".

Feel you pain, I went through it too. Hope you make the best marriage.


TV

Well, you may be right. But generally speaking, marriage is not a measurement for success. Achieving God,s purpose for one,s life is what I think is a yardstick for success in life. Marriage is part of life activities here on planet earth. One can make the best marriage and yet not still successful. What I hate and am against is the stigma on unmarried people as unsuccessful. Everyone must not marry, and lets leave those who wish not to marry to leave their lives and not to see or treat them as frustrated people cause destiny differs.

Even if one sets marriage as a priority in life and achieves it, but yet still suffering and has not achieved GOD,s purpose for his life, he is still not successful. If u miss marriage, you have not miss all and you are not and can not be frustrated except you see it as a do or die affair. Marriage is not a ticket to HEAVEN.

A friend of mine told me how her mum quarrels her because she did not accept the suitors she/ they bring for her, mounting pressure on her without considering her feelings. And for that reason, she stopped traveling home. AAH AAH! MARRIAGE, MARRIAGE, MARRIAGE! WETIN HAPPEN? Am a young lady, and when I marry, I will make the best marriage, be the best wife and the best mum. But please, lets stop this marriage madness.

Sum marriage always bring a blessing

It also depend

Thread on marriage everywhere.

FreeWill01: Those who use marriage as a yardstick for success, really haven't tasted real success in life.

And those who speak these words in their sanity, never had appreciated their decent parents for bringing them up to this point

GuysnMum:

And those who speak these words in their sanity, never had appreciated their decent parents for bringing them up to this point

No time

PrettyPhine:

Well, you may be right. But generally speaking, marriage is not a measurement for success. Achieving God,s purpose for one,s life is what I think is a yardstick for success in life. Marriage is part of life activities here on planet earth. One can make the best marriage and yet not still successful. What I hate and am against is the stigma on unmarried people as unsuccessful. Everyone must not marry, and lets leave those who wish not to marry to leave their lives and not to see or treat them as frustrated people cause destiny differs.

Even if one sets marriage as a priority in life and achieves it, but yet still suffering and has not achieved GOD,s purpose for his life, he is still not successful. If u miss marriage, you have not miss all and you are not and can not be frustrated except you see it as a do or die affair. Marriage is not a ticket to HEAVEN.

A friend of mine told me how her mum quarrels her because she did not accept the suitors she/ they bring for her, mounting pressure on her without considering her feelings. And for that reason, she stopped traveling home. AAH AAH! MARRIAGE, MARRIAGE, MARRIAGE! WETIN HAPPEN? Am a young lady, and when I marry, I will make the best marriage, be the best wife and the best mum. But please, lets stop this marriage madness.

My friend get some senses!! even the bible showed us an example of what to follow as Christians in Adam and Eve "making us understand that if she whom God gave could cause us pains, what more of she who we chose for our selves" Marriages are not meant to b always rosy. it takes only a big heart to venture that greatest risk of life. feeble tinkers like u will always give excuses. he who finds a wife finds a GOOD thing remember!!!!

FreeWill01:

No time

wasted time u mean

GuysnMum:

wasted time u mean

Yes you r right.


Oya, morse

adexsimply: No

whats the meaning of yer signature..

jossi994: whats the meaning of yer signature..

all men must die, all men must serve.

korel9:
I have often heard and fallen a victim of this circumstance where after one has been asked and congratulated on every aspect of his life, the question is popped
"Are You Married?"

If you say "No" they scream
"What are you waiting for again?"

This often gets to me and leaves me wondering
"Is marriage a measure of success in life?"

After reading many arguments on this thread, i will like to submit that

1) You can be responsible being unmarried, but you cant be married without being responsible


2) Marriage is never a measure of success.

3) Marriage is a status in life, so if you are not married yet, just know that there is a strata you have not reached yet.



Happy Sunday.