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Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? - Family - Nairaland

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Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by moremi2008(m): 6:57am On Jan 31, 2012
I am not asking this question in jest; I am dead serious. What exactly is the point of marriage? I am successful, independent, I  have had a string of steady girlfriends and if I want, I can have a string of baby mamas. What exactly is the advantage of marriage for a guy? I just don't get it. Please don't tell me "love" because I have been in love twice in my young life (I am in my late-twenties) and nothing came out of it but unnecessary pain (I am not interested in love, ever again). So why should a guy get married besides family pressure?
Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by Sagamite(m): 7:20am On Jan 31, 2012
moremi2008:

I am not asking this question in jest; I am dead serious. What exactly is the point of marriage? I am successful, independent, I  have had a string of steady girlfriends and if I want, I can have a string of baby mamas. What exactly is the advantage of marriage for a guy? I just don't get it. Please don't tell me "love" because I have been in love twice in my young life (I am in my late-twenties) and nothing came out of it but unnecessary pain (I am not interested in love, ever again). So why should a guy get married besides family pressure?

You are still claiming successful? How? angry
Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by chaircover: 7:44am On Jan 31, 2012

1 Like

Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by moremi2008(m): 8:30am On Jan 31, 2012
Sagamite:

You are still claiming successful? How? angry

Look what the cat brought in today! Still dumpster-diving behind McKinsey for rejected Powerpoint slides? Or are the security dogs being too much of a hassle today?

chaircover:

The answer to your question solely depends on if you are married to the right woman and if you are the right man for the right woman  lipsrsealed - Then Yes its worth it but No if otherwise.

Saga I knew that you would be here with Dayo following close behind  wink grin

Thanks Ma. But of course, the million-dollar question is who is the "Right" woman? Why put all your eggs in one basket when you can just keep a rotation or at least keep it unofficial?
Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by chaircover: 9:01am On Jan 31, 2012

2 Likes

Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by moremi2008(m): 9:04am On Jan 31, 2012
chaircover:

If one knows that he/she will be replaced, then they cant give you all their best.

Contractors are known not to work as hard as permanent staff wink

Said just like a woman! Why do women always stick together?! So you want me to first wife her before she gives me her best? Which kind business proposal be dat? undecided
Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by chaircover: 9:07am On Jan 31, 2012
Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by Claus(m): 9:19am On Jan 31, 2012
Marriage is definitely still worth it.
From a family perspective, a happy marriage is the best environment to raise children.
For the couple, if they are both the selfless types, they can really add value to each other's lives.

Where wahala starts is when one or both go in with a very strong sense of entitlement, where one spouse believes it is the other's duty to make sure they are always happy.
Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by moremi2008(m): 9:22am On Jan 31, 2012
chaircover:

see you!!  did you miss the he/she bit of my post?

I have been playing this game a looooooong time bro  cool  grin una no fit catch me like that even though I was actually referring to the woman  grin

LOL!!!!!!!!!! I guess it's just luck. To be honest, I wouldn't even be giving this a second thought if not for my Mum. That woman's priorities are so misplaced! Instead of focusing on her unmarried daughters, na me she come face like we are fighting a war! And it's not as if she's the easy to please type oh!

Her list is tall and ridiculous. She wants a Yoruba woman but not one from Ijebu or anywhere in Ogun State. She wants a woman that is immaculately educated (preferably a lawyer, engineer, doctor or accountant). She wants a born-again Christian woman that isn't too small and isn't too big but knows how to cook apon, ila alasepo, efo riro and pound yam! She also wants a woman that is as pretty as all the girls in my family (and God knows, we have some stunning beauties in my nuclear and extended family) but she can't be prettier than them to avoid jealousy! She wants a woman with a mother that is fashionable and rich because they must both wear matching rolexes at the wedding! Abeg! At this rate, I might as well marry her best friend's daughter (but I can't stand the girl because she's an arrogant little ho that has already been passed around a couple of times). angry angry angry angry
Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by chaircover: 10:03am On Jan 31, 2012
Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by Enoquin(f): 11:17am On Jan 31, 2012
moremi2008:


Her list is tall and ridiculous. She wants a Yoruba woman but not one from Ijebu or anywhere in Ogun State. She wants a woman that is immaculately educated (preferably a lawyer, engineer, doctor or accountant). She wants a born-again Christian woman that isn't too small and isn't too big but knows how to cook apon, ila alasepo, efo riro and pound yam! She also wants a woman that is as pretty as all the girls in my family (and God knows, we have some stunning beauties in my nuclear and extended family) but she can't be prettier than them to avoid jealousy! She wants a woman with a mother that is fashionable and rich because they must both wear matching rolexes at the wedding! Abeg! At this rate, I might as well marry her best friend's daughter (but I can't stand the girl because she's an arrogant little ho that has already been passed around a couple of times). angry angry angry angry

Lmao, you go fear the kain list wey your mama get for mind. But seriously, like chaircover said, in the end she'll just be happy you settled down with someone especially if she is the right one for you.
Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by Sagamite(m): 12:58pm On Jan 31, 2012
moremi2008:

Look what the cat brought in today! Still dumpster-diving behind McKinsey for rejected Powerpoint slides? Or are the security dogs being too much of a hassle today?

Cretin, what success are you claiming when you have the IQ of a toad? grin
Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by sadmama: 3:06pm On Jan 31, 2012
You would have someone accountable for you, that watches ur back, that is a part of you. Someone who would care for your needs sincerly always having u in mind. Marriage can be fun, the togetheress can be wonderful, though the excitement of boyfriend girlfriend is no longer there. that fantasy(even though exciting) is replaced by a sure firm affection. Then if the marriage is blessed with kids, now thats cool. u see ure self manifest in little ones, ur traits, ur character, it can be amusing and fun.
Then u have someone waiting on u, at ur beck and call. she cooks ur food, serves u, could help with ur laundry, keep ur home front and might even contribute to finances. I even think its more fun for guys sef. For women all u get is that ure a Mrs and people could respect u or snigger less about you finish.

Marriage and the politics of it can be fun really. Esp when u find a good woman and if u urself are good. Being good christians or muslims would also help. Cheers and good luck on ur string of girlfriends, hope u dont get distracted and miss the good ones.

I know someone that was denied a good job because he wasnt married, he couldnt convince the employers that he was a responsible person, esp as he had worked in good jobs for up to 8 years.

So try abeg, wink

1 Like

Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by Sagamite(m): 3:37pm On Jan 31, 2012
sadmama:

You would have someone accountable for you, that watches ur back, that is a part of you. Someone who would care for your needs sincerly always having u in mind.

Who told you men highly value all these?

sadmama:

Marriage can be fun, the togetheress can be wonderful, though the excitement of boyfriend girlfriend is no longer there. that fantasy(even though exciting) is replaced by a sure firm affection.

This is a fantasy associated with Never-everland in over 90% of marriages.

sadmama:

Then u have someone waiting on u, at ur beck and call. she cooks ur food, serves u, could help with ur laundry, keep ur home front and might even contribute to finances. I even think its more fun for guys sef. For women all u get is that ure a Mrs and people could respect u or snigger less about you finish.

Chineke meh! Is this true?

Una no go get roster for these in the world of the "modern woman"?

sadmama:

I know someone that was denied a good job because he wasnt married, he couldnt convince the employers that he was a responsible person, esp as he had worked in good jobs for up to 8 years.

So try abeg,  wink

Come o, is this a veiled threat?

Na now scare-matrimony una wan resort to?
Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by Outstrip(f): 4:06pm On Jan 31, 2012
He makes valid points. The only thing to correct here is that it works the same way for both sexes. Why should a woman marry? Especially in a culture were women are not encouraged to move up. Why not just travel the world. Screw anyone you fancy, advance your career or businesses until you hit the glass ceiling and then adopt children in your 40s. For some people this is ideal. For others the sacrifices made for marriage and family is worth all those other things. To each their own.
Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by moremi2008(m): 4:49pm On Jan 31, 2012
chaircover:

Don’t worry Moremi; all mothers have a dream husband or wife for their kids but when the time comes all she will want is for you to be happy.

For my daughter, I want a God fearing Van Vicker Look alike, President Obama type, Havard Educated, Rich and Fit looking gentleman who will treat her like a queen

But when the time comes I will just go for a man that loves her dearly and she loves too & will treat her right & make her happy  smiley


I googled Van Vicker and he is not worthy of Little Miss CC! How old is she again? Is she pretty like Agbani? I can wait for her if need be.  grin

Outstrip:

He makes valid points. The only thing to correct here is that it works the same way for both sexes. Why should a woman marry? Especially in a culture were women are not encouraged to move up. Why not just travel the world. Screw anyone you fancy, advance your career or businesses until you hit the glass ceiling and then adopt children in your 40s. For some people this is ideal. For others the sacrifices made for marriage and family is worth all those other things. To each their own.

Hahahaha! I laugh in Mandarin! Yes, oh Aunty Outstrip! Go embark on an international career of intrigue and legs-wide-open! See how that works for you!  grin grin grin

sadmama:

You would have someone accountable for you, that watches ur back, that is a part of you. Someone who would care for your needs sincerly always having u in mind. Marriage can be fun, the togetheress can be wonderful, though the excitement of boyfriend girlfriend is no longer there. that fantasy(even though exciting) is replaced by a sure firm affection. Then if the marriage is blessed with kids, now thats cool. u see ure self manifest in little ones, ur traits, ur character, it can be amusing and fun.
Then u have someone waiting on u, at ur beck and call. she cooks ur food, serves u, could help with ur laundry, keep ur home front and might even contribute to finances. I even think its more fun for guys sef. For women all u get is that ure a Mrs and people could respect u or snigger less about you finish.

Marriage and the politics of it can be fun really. Esp when u find a good woman and if u urself are good. Being good christians or muslims would also help. Cheers and good luck on ur string of girlfriends, hope u dont get distracted and miss the good ones.

I know someone that was denied a good job because he wasnt married, he couldnt convince the employers that he was a responsible person, esp as he had worked in good jobs for up to 8 years.

So try abeg,  wink

Ehn, ehn? Say it isn't so Mr. Sad Mama!!!! This isn't Fiction-writing 101 abeg! You've been reading too much of your wife's Mills & Boon (sp?)
Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by armyofone(f): 5:41pm On Jan 31, 2012
sorry for the past heartbreak. take heart tongue grin.

love will come and when you jam that babe eh, you will forget everything.

humming Alicia key's

I keep on falliiiiiiiiiiiiing, in and out of love with you
i keep on falllllllllllllllllllllllllling, in and out of love with you

humming and soaking drinking dom perignon grin
Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by jaybee3(m): 5:46pm On Jan 31, 2012
It is if the saying of two heads is better than one is anything to go by.

Advantages of being married to the right person thumps the advantages of being single all day
Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by dayokanu(m): 6:13pm On Jan 31, 2012
chaircover:

The answer to your question solely depends on if you are married to the right woman and if you are the right man for the right woman lipsrsealed - Then Yes its worth it but No if otherwise.

Saga I knew that you would be here with Dayo following close behind wink grin

Present ma!!!

If not for time difference, i should have been here before Sagamite

So what are we saying
Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by Sagamite(m): 6:19pm On Jan 31, 2012
armyofone:

sorry for the past heartbreak. take heart tongue grin.

love will come and when you jam that babe eh, you will forget everything.

humming Alicia key's

I keep on falliiiiiiiiiiiiing, in and out of love with you
i keep on falllllllllllllllllllllllllling, in and out of love with you

humming and soaking drinking dom perignon grin

WARNING

To all men, when this woman says "you will forget everything", she means she will milk you for everything you own when una divorce.

Don't fall for her spell o!

See am already telling you, she is gonna fall out of love with you. grin
Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by dayokanu(m): 6:24pm On Jan 31, 2012
OP,

After a while the whole thing might start becoming boring,

All your homeboys you used to hang out together are all getting married infact one of my friends whom I thought would never marry got married last November in Colorado, NL Kokoye was there.

Now in your circle of like 12 friends like 9 are married or have baby mommas some of them have kids who are already 7yrs old, just 3 of you left, Going out isnt that fun any more as the much younger folks have taken over.

If you are around 30 and still hanging out with 22yr olds soon you would become an agbaya, Very soon your dad who used to be silent about such issues start bothering you with calls of when you would settle down

All your aunties start calling you everyone trying to hook you up with someone.

They now start the familiar story of how old would your children be when you are 50?

Your pastor starts calling you and ask if you have anyone in mind? Starts giving you the profile of the single ladies in church and all the bla bla bla You tell him that you are still paper chasing and he counters that all the succesful men started small with their wives
and they are now very succesful

This happened to my friend: His two younger brothers(Who were hard core players) got married
Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by Unique3(f): 6:34pm On Jan 31, 2012
@ Topic: Is Marriage Worth it For Guys?

At the bolded, are you asking the guys in the house only to respond, or is this for everyone?
Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by Sagamite(m): 6:38pm On Jan 31, 2012
dayokanu:

OP,

After a while the whole thing might start becoming boring,

All your homeboys you used to hang out together are all getting married infact one of my friends whom I thought would never marry got married last November in Colorado, NL Kokoye was there.

Now in your circle of like 12 friends like 9 are married or have baby mommas some of them have kids who are already 7yrs old, just 3 of you left, Going out isnt that fun any more as the much younger folks have taken over.

If you are around 30 and still hanging out with 22yr olds soon you would become an agbaya, Very soon your dad who used to be silent about such issues start bothering you with calls of when you would settle down

All your aunties start calling you everyone trying to hook you up with someone.

They now start the familiar story of how old would your children be when you are 50?

Your pastor starts calling you and ask if you have anyone in mind? Starts giving you the profile of the single ladies in church and all the bla bla bla You tell him that you are still paper chasing and he counters that all the succesful men started small with their wives
and they are now very succesful

This happened to my friend: His two younger brothers(Who were hard core players) got married

You never look the fact of that out of that 9 wey marry, in this day and age, after 8 years maybe about 4 don divorce. Those 4 are hiring a room in a 3-bed apartment share while still paying for the mortgage of the house they got before marriage and which the now ex-angel-turned-devil is living in because she has been awarded the kids.

They are hanging out with you and you are paying for stuff because they are normally broke after paying alimony since dem no sign prenup. grin

Of the remaining 5 still married, 3/4 are playing wrestling with women outside their marriage as their wives who have not taken care of themselves are hardly appealing. grin

Kai, women must hate me exposing this shikena o.  grin
 
Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by jennykadry(f): 7:04pm On Jan 31, 2012
moremi2008:



Hahahaha! I laugh in Mandarin! Yes, oh Aunty Outstrip! Go embark on an international career of intrigue and legs-wide-open! See how that works for you!  grin grin grin


Was this necessary? You asked people for their opinion on your thread, someone answered with words you don't want to hear and you had to reply with the above? Smh
Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by kokoye(m): 7:54pm On Jan 31, 2012
Well well.

It is a personal choice.

I have a friend who is going to be 40 soon with a perfect job and everything else except a wife. All his friends are married so he's now all by himself most evenings. And yes, he's getting tired of 24 / 25yr old girls. The type of mature girls he wants are already married.

Like CC said earlier, most (naija) girls will not give you their all when there's no commitment from you . .when they know another girl is coming tomorrow. I said most naija girls because brad pitt and angie jolie are unmarried but seem to be doing well.

I agree that marriage is overated . . .
Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by queensmith: 7:58pm On Jan 31, 2012
Marriage isnt worth anymore for a woman than it is for a man.

Lets kill that misconception and free women of desperation.

Marriage is for those seeking companionship, those that need extra strength to grow and those that beleive in the institution as a viable way to have children and their own family.

Believe it or not, you cannot have a family with a string of girlfriends. . . . . all you will have is nonsense! lol

So moremi I think you should ask yourself, if you want companionship, Someone to grow with, and a nuclear family that makes sense. Then yes marriage is worth while.
Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by coogar: 8:11pm On Jan 31, 2012
moremi2008:

I am not asking this question in jest; I am dead serious. What exactly is the point of marriage? I am successful, independent, I  have had a string of steady girlfriends and if I want, I can have a string of baby mamas. What exactly is the advantage of marriage for a guy? I just don't get it. Please don't tell me "love" because I have been in love twice in my young life (I am in my late-twenties) and nothing came out of it but unnecessary pain (I am not interested in love, ever again). So why should a guy get married besides family pressure?

of course, marriage is worth it for men. . . .
marriage is a beautiful thing - the fusion of a man and a woman. what else is more beautiful?
Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by freecocoa(f): 8:17pm On Jan 31, 2012
Moremi since you are the one asking,I'll just say if you are anything like your posts then please don't make your already big head bigger by adding the problems of marriage to the ones it's carrying,marriage wouldn't be worth it for you cos your wife will most def divorce you in no time. I mean this in a friendly way.     cool
Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by ronkebp(f): 8:34pm On Jan 31, 2012
Marraige is a gift, to be single is also a gift, but being married, really makes you look responsible instead of fathering every child on every street in ajegule.
Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by armyofone(f): 8:47pm On Jan 31, 2012
@ Saga
sit there and continue passing your yeye warning grin. One md  lipsrsealed don catch better meat  grin tongue tongue

Proverb: 18:22
how are you, grin
winter cold will soon push you to go marry tongue

moremi should wallow in his abject lack of real babes in in old age. late 20s mean old age. siddon there and wait till you 3rd leg shrivel  grin
na ya toro. wetin person go use am do by then grin grin

how now moremi, how are you
Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by naijababe(f): 9:09pm On Jan 31, 2012
kokoye:

Well well.

It is a personal choice.

I have a friend who is going to be 40 soon with a perfect job and everything else except a wife. All his friends are married so he's now all by himself most evenings. And yes, he's getting tired of 24 / 25yr old girls. The type of mature girls he wants are already married.

Like CC said earlier, most (naija) girls will not give you their all when there's no commitment from you . .when they know another girl is coming tomorrow. I said most naija girls because brad pitt and angie jolie are unmarried but seem to be doing well.

I agree that marriage is overated . . .

Very wise words.

@ OP, how can you get a fine educated Yoruba babe with a fashionable mother who's not Ijebu or from Ogun state. You might as well marry the 'ho' grin grin grin

Dayo, u don change your song o, wetin happen ? shocked

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