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We Both Cheated: Help Please - Romance - Nairaland

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We Both Cheated: Help Please by tashante86: 10:08pm On Nov 08, 2008
Thank you all for your views on this very complicated situation.
I really appreciated it.
Re: We Both Cheated: Help Please by smurf(f): 10:15pm On Nov 08, 2008
Well you both need to move on then.
Re: We Both Cheated: Help Please by ima1(f): 10:20pm On Nov 08, 2008
Hun, you both need time apart, cuz the issue of both of you cheating will still be there unless you both sit down and talk, startover and promise not to cheat or bring up past experiences, if you both cannot do that then, i say break up and move on.
Re: We Both Cheated: Help Please by 190: 10:22pm On Nov 08, 2008
u mean i am the 3rd person here, COOL, anyway since u both cheated, fair game, now a guy never accepts 1-1 in a game, he has 2 make it 2-1 before he would be contented wit u, so expect ur guy 2 cheat again b4 he accepts u back finally, please thats the plain truth all wot odas are sayin are sweetmouth, 4get dem, he would cheat on u again and come back 2 u, mark my words
Re: We Both Cheated: Help Please by victorian(f): 10:49pm On Nov 08, 2008
@ poster, your boyfriend do not sincerely love you, he cheated on you twice and i know he will continue to do it again. He wants a break, thats why he's bringing up the past that you cheated on him. Move on, because he will continue to make you feel guilty for the rest of your life, if you still hang on to him.
At 23, your bridges are still building , they are not burnt yet, Although its not easy but withdraw completely from him.
Re: We Both Cheated: Help Please by iice(f): 2:36pm On Nov 09, 2008
tashante86:

I have been with my boy friend for 6 years now. During our first year together he cheated on me with one of his best friend ex.
He told me one year after the incident. I never made a big deal about it and I forgave him right there, it took me a while to get it out of my mind but I never brought it up again even after it was killing me.

People be giving themselves ulcers and what not
From the whole post, seems as if you are always the one to make the concessions
Both of you should just let it go.
Re: We Both Cheated: Help Please by just1n(m): 2:48pm On Nov 09, 2008
i concor undecided
Re: We Both Cheated: Help Please by sistawoman: 3:00pm On Nov 09, 2008
Sweetie you should have never told him.

See the way men feel is they can cheat and as long as you forgive them they can cheat again but let a the woman cheat and it is over.

This thing is called


[size=20pt][center]EGO[/center][/size]


Once thier ego is bruised it is very very very, impossible diffucult to get them back. I am sorry to say that one of two things will happen going forward:

1. He will forgive and cheat on you repeatly
2. He will not forgive and leave you

You now have the power to move on and learn from your mistakes are stick around and marry a serial cheater. Be sure that your nights will be filled with worrying about the other women that he is out banging.
Re: We Both Cheated: Help Please by just1n(m): 3:04pm On Nov 09, 2008
yur a real sisterwoman . . .
Uv said it all, no doubt.
Re: We Both Cheated: Help Please by beila05(m): 3:58pm On Nov 09, 2008
to be really honest wit you a good man is really hard to find these dayz and from your story i don't see you man being repentant,its true that wen a man cheats on a woman the society feels its a forgivable offence and wen it's a woman its simply vice-versa but a man wit a good conscience would always create a lil room for the kind of errors he himself had made and must be ready to forgive,since you clsim that he keeps reminding you about your mistake wen ever you try to talk to him about the other lady, then he is not going to change, just move on wit your life and try to do this silently and not to quickly becos of the number of years you both have spent together, its not too easy but its the best thing to do,


its better to be happy alone for the time beingg than to be sad amidst the one you loveb
Re: We Both Cheated: Help Please by just1n(m): 5:39pm On Nov 09, 2008
beila05:




its better to be happy alone for the time beingg than to be sad amidst the one you loveb
datz tru tongue
Re: We Both Cheated: Help Please by igwe11(m): 6:00pm On Nov 09, 2008
sista, there is nothing you can do to revive the relationship again,you people have sold out the secret u ve got.
He can't boast of u again b/4 his guyz and neither will u.
Try get over it.
Pele, rediscover yourself in Jesus name

1 Like

Re: We Both Cheated: Help Please by just1n(m): 7:45pm On Nov 09, 2008
Amen! cheesy
Re: We Both Cheated: Help Please by 190: 8:33pm On Nov 09, 2008
havent u heard of sista woman the most brillant woman on NLAND
shes da best, I heard she slept wit Obama when she was 18?
Re: We Both Cheated: Help Please by congoshine(m): 8:39pm On Nov 09, 2008
tashante86:

I have been with my boy friend for 6 years now. During our first year together he cheated on me with one of his best friend ex.
He told me one year after the incident. I never made a big deal about it and I forgave him right there, it took me a while to get it out of my mind but I never brought it up again even after it was killing me.

During our third year together he messed around with my best friend of 9 years despite the fact that I told him she liked him just for it not to reach anywhere. I found out that they were texting each other for some time. He said that they never had sex. I was devastated, I told him that I was going to ask her but he begged me not to. About 2 days later there were rumors going about campus that had sex that she was spreading, he still denied it. He still never wanted me to ask her. My friend even stop speaking to me after. I did not tell my family because I never wanted them to think the worst about our relationship, even though it was killing me,so I spoke to one of my best friend who I dated for some time but, we remained friends after we rested the relationship. While we were talking we slept together, it never happen again. It was the biggest mistake I ever made. I finally told my boyfriend a few months ago. He told me that he hated me and that everything was over. He was going on and on as if he never did anything wrong and like his actions had nothing to do with what happen.   

I blame myself every single day since it happen and can't seem to forgive myself. I should have never let it happen no matter how hurt I was. We are still together as I was going to leave when he told me to. My problem now is there is this new girl since I told him who keeps calling him at all hours even after 10 pm, sometimes she calls several times for the day. When I confronted him he brings up my cheating incident and is making insulting remarks. I will never forget what I did I feel badly about everyday and it hurts me to know that I hurt him.  I really love my boyfriend we have been through a lot. I know the girl and I am tempted to go and ask her why is she calling my boyfriend. I know that I must give him time to get over what happen, but I can't handle another cheating incident, cause if it happen again I will lose it and I don't know what I might happen.

He tells me that they are friends and I don't buy it. She never calls me we know her around the same time. I  have told him every thing about me from day one and I that he uses my past against me. We don't talk some days at all then there are days that we are OK. I have told myself that he may one day leave me for what i did, but I had to be honest about what happen as I would not want us to get married and I have that secret from him. What should I do. I am 23 he is 26. I live away from home so I don't have any family support.

I have serious advice for you,& I'll only tell you one time ;

FACE YOUR STUDIES,AFTER ALL SAID & DONE;IT'LL NEVER FAIL YOU !! smiley
Re: We Both Cheated: Help Please by just1n(m): 8:49pm On Nov 09, 2008
190:

havent u heard of sista woman the most brillant woman on NLAND
shes da best, I heard she slept wit Obama when she was 18?

hope urr sane?
Re: We Both Cheated: Help Please by na2day2(m): 11:27pm On Nov 09, 2008
@ poster
I spoke to one of my best friend who I dated for some time but, we remained friends after we rested the relationship. While we were talking we slept together, it never happen again.

nice try, u were talking together and just slept together, girl, u need to give us more truths than this one
Re: We Both Cheated: Help Please by Letooa(m): 12:09am On Nov 10, 2008
@Sistawoman. On point. Why did you tell him? I'm a bloke and i have cheated and been cheated on. The stupidest thing i ever did was confess, the worst thing a woman's ever done was confess. She was feeling so righteous about coming clean, i hated her for what she'd done and more for telling me about it.
You can't tell that he will stop cheating but you can't tell that he won't stop either. My bet is he'll be cheating for a long while to come. If you've got a lot of forgiveness, stay, if not, pick your life up and walk.
Re: We Both Cheated: Help Please by 190: 12:43am On Nov 10, 2008
since u both have cheated on each oda, its ok, u both nid 2 sit down and talk tins ova, ask him dat u both have made mistakes and if he would continue wit u or NOT, if yes tel him 2 4get the issue and if NO, pick ur tins and head my way, LOL
anyway if u stil love him, have a 1 on 1 talk wit him
but are u sure he stil loves u so, cos if he loves u den he would
4giv u easily knowin dat he cheated too
Re: We Both Cheated: Help Please by tashante86: 1:16am On Nov 10, 2008
Thank you all for responding
Re: We Both Cheated: Help Please by iice(f): 1:55am On Nov 10, 2008
tashante86:

I was vulnerable when this happen, I accept full responsibility for what I did. I was betrayed by the persons closest to me and I let my emotions get the worst of me. I will never let anything like this happen again, I hurt my boyfriend, lost a friend and my relationship is a mess. I have to live with myself everyday.

Oh girl, you dey on your own ooo. Goodluck!
Re: We Both Cheated: Help Please by na2day2(m): 3:02am On Nov 10, 2008
@ tashante86

well, i wish u God's speed and wisdom bcuz if i say what i want to say as an advice, i will be crucified here. lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed
Re: We Both Cheated: Help Please by SisiJinx: 3:30am On Nov 10, 2008
How HE can cheat TWICE and YOU just ONCE yet still have the power to make you feel guilty over your own cheating is totally beyond me! How YOU can let him make you feel guilty despite HIS own offense is unfathomable.

All I have to say. . . actually it's not say say, it's a song and I wish I could sing it to your face. Aah, well whachu going to do, eh?


Get ready for lonly maried life

I dey Pity for one person, eeya e no good oh.

Start practicing the word OUR husband instead of MY Husband

I dey pity for one girl, Eeya e no good oh.

Get Ready for Humilation galore

I dey pity for one girl, Eeya e no good oh.

Shebi it is just your friend for 9 yrs today

I dey pity for one girl, Eeya e no good oh.

Tomorrow it will be your cousin from forever

I dey pity for one girl, Eeya e no good oh.





(Rinse and Repeat)


na2day?:

@ poster
nice try, u were talking together and just slept together, girl, u need to give us more truths than this one

What is nice try about it? Even if she went there with the intention of sleeping with him. . . so what? Please take your man rule jungle justice mentality away from here jo.
Re: We Both Cheated: Help Please by H2O2: 3:33am On Nov 10, 2008
Is there such a thing as "just" when it comes to cheating? undecided Sisi, never cheat on me o.
Re: We Both Cheated: Help Please by SisiJinx: 3:41am On Nov 10, 2008
Hey no willy nilly cheating going on with me. I subscribe to the Do me, I do you. God No Vex school of thought. No fi ori gbeing here. . . not at all!!!

DO ME, I DO YOU. GOD NO VEX

Best set of words ever put together. If I knew the person who came up with that, I'll be worshipping at their feet!!! kiss
Re: We Both Cheated: Help Please by H2O2: 3:43am On Nov 10, 2008
What if I do you and you never ever find out? How can you do me back?

You can do me all you want sha grin.
Re: We Both Cheated: Help Please by SisiJinx: 3:56am On Nov 10, 2008
Lmao!!! Oh Acid. . . you had to take it didn't ya. Don't blame you, left myself open for it!!

Hey, it goes without saying that you would cheat because that's what men do. As a matter of fact for my piece of mind, the assumption is not that he won't cheat, nope that's the surprise. I say all women should think like this because it takes away the petty nuisance of worrying their pretty little heads every time he steps out of the house or every time he so much as sniffs around another girl. Now where the koko of the matter comes in. . .  is me finding out because once I do. . . Ay! Yi! Yi!!!!!!!

There are two options here. . .

1) I leave
2) I stay and he suffers

Can't say I am not accomodating, now can you?
Re: We Both Cheated: Help Please by olaremint(m): 4:05am On Nov 10, 2008
@ poster, i think its best you guys move on now,my babe of five years have been cheating on me since ages and i have also,we both know and laugh over it and can't let go because there is just something that connects us,but have been thinking seriously can i marry her?my friends,family,even my enemies say hell no,thats where the problem is.breaking up is inevitable and better,all the best.
Re: We Both Cheated: Help Please by na2day2(m): 4:55am On Nov 10, 2008
@ Sisi Jinx

maybe u shld learn to keep ur mouth shut. what if a guy says, i was vulnerable, and the girl took advantage of me, will u believe him? will it make it less painful? how convenient it is for us to always excuse ourselves but want to condemn another for the same deed. if i sleep with a girl, i slept with her period! to say i was vulnerable or we were just talking together and we just slept with each other trying to count urself the victim. sex is something u gradually allow urself into each time, and u can at anytime stop or say no to the advances even in high emotions.
Re: We Both Cheated: Help Please by SisiJinx: 5:04am On Nov 10, 2008
Rotflmao! Take it easy man, don't pop a vein okay? Men DO use the the "I was vulnerable" excuse and Women DO believe them. . . . so why the 3rd degree Mr. Investigator, especially after he's already cheated on her TWICE?!

Man Rule Jungle Mentality is the Worst!!!!!!! cheesy cheesy cheesy
Re: We Both Cheated: Help Please by na2day2(m): 5:54am On Nov 10, 2008
women, they always try to change the rules when things are not going their way. well this video is for u


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtQPYTybpQg

Sisi Jinx:

Rotflmao! Take it easy man, don't pop a vein okay? Men DO use the the "I was vulnerable" excuse and Women DO believe them. . . . so why the 3rd degree Mr. Investigator, especially after he's already cheated on her TWICE?!

Man Rule Jungle Mentality is the Worst!!!!!!! cheesy cheesy cheesy
Re: We Both Cheated: Help Please by kalmebad(f): 12:39pm On Nov 10, 2008
Maturity most times comes with age, at 23, you aint seen anytin yet. thats if u fail to get wiser now
Why dwelling on a realtionship that makes u sad rather than happy?
Breaking up is tough decision but of what use is it if u dnt have happiness and still stick urself

U can only find ur happiness back the day u take the wise decision of walking away. d guy can't keep hunting u with ur mistake when he is equally guilty of same act. at 23 girl u can be wiser than that. The choice is yours.

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