Sophyrocks:



Yes they understood it better. remember, moral values back then were higher than what we have now. so i guess that contributed BUT not all unions were happy ones still. I feel we should not mistake longeivity of a marriage for success. Two people merely patching up and managing each other does not translate to success. Its what goes on in the marriage that counts. when a marriage becomes a threat to someone's life, you dnt expect he/she to remain in it. As a result of our very low moral values, there are many vices of both men and women springing up and until we stay away from such vices then marriages cannot last long.

Yes, its possible for marriages to last in our time. There is still hope. It depends on individual. Marriage is what you make of it right? For that to happen, we have to understand that our generation is different from that of our parents/grandparents. we will never be the same. Never! for example, do not expect your wife to be exactly like your mother. Our choices will continue to differ from theirs. There are positive sides to modern life. WE ARE BECOMING MORE AWARE OF SO MANY THINGS AND OF WHAT WE WANT. We have to focus on factors that would lead to a Happy marriage and not just a longlasting one. Why? Because our moral values are veeeeeery low and there are too many harmful vices around therefore just focusing on how many years a couple have been married isnt enough. We could inculcate the willingness of our grandparents to work on their marriages as long as our partners are willing to work with us but we must not do every single thing our parents/grandparents did because some of them still made poor choices. We have to adapt to the present times, do away with the harmful vices BUT also focus still on what will make our marriages happy. We cannot continue to adopt some of our parents' culture of patching up in marriage. we now have the choice of being happy.

I agree with you, marriage is meant to be enjoyed and not endured

onirugbon1:


Very much agree. Black market is illegal so cannot be a synonym for marriage.

I remember years back there used to be people who sell cheap used electronics in popular markets that they coin as 'No testing'.
Meaning just assume it works and buy it. When you get home, test it and if it works your lucky. Otherwise, your money don enter bush.

That's marriage coming from Op's context.

What i mean by "Blackmarket" is that in marriage what you see is sometimes not what you get at the end of the day

pickabeau1:



Exacto!
Someone earlier said WYSIWYG!

gbanjo gbanjo

hehehehe

I will say yes and no
Yes because u cannot know a person perfectly until u live together. My hubby n I dated for sm years b4 we wedded but I never knew he gets cold so easily till we started living together he didn't tell me thruout our dating period so u can imagine my surprise d second day we wedded and he sneezed about 15 times consecutively, what!! I was shocked wot was that, "I'm feeling cold" was his reply and he did same thing everyday in a week u can imagine and I never knew thruout wen we dated, thank God it isn't a bad surprise
Situations at times make pple change in marriage, sickness, money, barrenness etc dts y prayer is necessary
No becos 2pple that have made up their minds to make a marriage work will get everything they put into it.
Faithfulness, help, support, care and all, to them it will just be wot they foresaw while they were dating

esmeralda1:
I will say yes and no
Yes because u cannot know a person perfectly until u live together. My hubby n I dated for sm years b4 we wedded but I never knew he gets cold so easily till we started living together he didn't tell me thruout our dating period so u can imagine my surprise d second day we wedded and he sneezed about 15 times consecutively, what!! I was shocked wot was that, "I'm feeling cold" was his reply and he did same thing everyday in a week u can imagine and I never knew thruout wen we dated, thank God it isn't a bad surprise
Situations at times make pple change in marriage, sickness, money, barrenness etc dts y prayer is necessary
No becos 2pple that have made up their minds to make a marriage work will get everything they put into it.
Faithfulness, help, support, care and all, to them it will just be wot they foresaw while they were dating

thanks for this experience. Please we need more experience from married people

Hollyb:
What i mean by "Blackmarket" is that in marriage what you see is sometimes not what you get at the end of the day

Actually in blackmarkets most of the time what you see is what get. They sell quality but through illegal means.

What you are describing is Gbanjo market. Thats where what you see is sometimes not what you get

Hollyb:
what can be done in this our generation to change our orientation about marriage cos it seems people go into marriage with different outrageous expectations and if they are not fulfilled they turn to something else. What can be done to bring back that selfless love needed in marriage

Our ladies should unsubscribe gender equality

Women should also adopt bible teaching on marriage

@sophyrocks...should we discontinued the old belief of staying married and getting old together, then divorce should be encouraged as a norm in the emerging new world.

Like I said, no one is perfect so it's possible a woman will have 5 husbands in her life time and this is totally unacceptable and unwise if religion should factor in.

onirugbon1:


Actually in blackmarkets most of the time what you see is what get. They sell quality but through illegal means.

What you are describing is Gbanjo market. Thats where what you see is sometimes not what you get

alright o

MzMariah:
The rate at which I'm seeing marriage thread everywhere, the thing don dey fear me o.na so my mind go cut, e go con be like say them slap concussion enter my eyes.

hian.. D way u dey see am be say na ur turn finally.. ... So buckle up join d wagon..

Dayjhihannon01:
hian.. D way u dey see am be say na ur turn finally.. ... So buckle up join d wagon..

Shooooo..na by force?

SeaGold:


Our ladies should unsubscribe gender equality

Women should also adopt bible teaching on marriage

@sophyrocks...should we discontinued the old belief of staying married and getting old together, then divorce should be encouraged as a norm in the emerging new world.

Like I said, no one is perfect so it's possible a woman will have 5 husbands in her life time and this is totally unacceptable and unwise if religion should factor in.

No. we cannot discontinue the belief but it depends on what one faces in marriage. For example, can you forgive your wife if she cheats on you and then decide to work on your marriage?

helen4:
Yes. Marriage is a black market. For example, when u buy petrol from blackmarket, for sure u know you bought petrol, getting home, you're about about to pour the stuff into whatever you need it, then you discover there are particles,do you pour it away? The best you can do is to filter it and it will be good go. samething applicable to marriage.

this is the point... Dis is what marriage is.. No perfect marriage.. Adaptation and beliv dat u ar made for eachother, for better for worse.. Character, attitudes,, till you grow old and just bliv she's dat best friend u can't do without.. I wish it could be as simple as this...

MzMariah:
Shooooo..na by force?

hehehehhe.. Nor b force ooo na ur turn... .. We all wished it doesn't come sooner, but here is it @d back'f ur leg....

Dayjhihannon01:
hehehehhe.. Nor b force ooo na ur turn... .. We all wished it doesn't come sooner, but here is it @d back'f ur leg....

Do you know if I'm married?

Hollyb:
I agree with you, marriage is meant to be enjoyed and not endured

you can never build a happy home/family with such a mentality, no matter who you are married to. there're equally a lot to enjoy as well as endure as far as marriage is concerned. ....... ask Mom.

MzMariah:


Do you know if I'm married?

ne nah.. Jst suspected u are not yet... Am I wrong?

Scyllapatron:


you can never build a happy home/family with such a mentality, no matter who you are married to. there're equally a lot to enjoy as well as endure as far as marriage is concerned. ....... ask Mom.

really?

Dayjhihannon01:
ne nah.. Jst suspected u are not yet... Am I wrong?

Hahahahahaha. Nah.

Sophyrocks:


No. we cannot discontinue the belief but it depends on what one faces in marriage. For example, can you forgive your wife if she cheats on you and then decide to work on your marriage?

The bible stated that's enough reason for divorce

Hollyb:
really?

yah!

Dayjhihannon01:
this is the point... Dis is what marriage is.. No perfect marriage.. Adaptation and beliv dat u ar made for eachother, for better for worse.. Character, attitudes,, till you grow old and just bliv she's dat best friend u can't do without.. I wish it could be as simple as this...

abi o, if wishes were horses!

SeaGold:


The bible stated that's enough reason for divorce

That means your wife is free to divorce you if you cheat on her right?

MzMariah:
Hahahahahaha. Nah.

u seeeeeeee

Sophyrocks:


That means your wife is free to divorce you if you cheat on her right?

Hahahahahahahha...that's right.

Hollyb:
abi o, if wishes were horses!

yea... Until partners see demselvs as best friends or brothers nd sisters.. Not d feeling like ''dia a lotta better men nd women out dia'' den marriage will be d best institution..

Dayjhihannon01:
yea... Until partners see demselvs as best friends or brothers nd sisters.. Not d feeling like ''dia a lotta better men nd women out dia'' den marriage will be d best institution..

yes ooooo. Tru talk

Dayjhihannon01:
u seeeeeeee

Limmi jor.

What has the Bible got to do with anything? I'm not a christian but is the whole "submission" sermon just too convenient for you?

SeaGold:


Hahahahahahahha...that's right.

Cool. So since you can divorce because of infidelity, why condemn others who have done the same? have we walked in their shoes?

You can see that a vice such as Cheating is rampant around us as a result of low moral values. And as a result of this, countless stds abound even the ones that never existed before.. I, for example, have zero tolerance for cheating. I love my wellbeing and my health soooooooooo much that i cannot put up with it. I can't even stand the sight of sucha man so i would consider divorce since the bible allows it.

I do not always judge people who go for divorce based on very good reasons because im not in their shoes. Each one of us will decide what will be best for ourselves as long as we are happy. But when we live our lives to save face, to please people we will never be happy.

.

Sophyrocks:


Cool. So since you can divorce because of infidelity, why condemn others who have done the same? have we walked in their shoes?

You can see that a vice such as Cheating is rampant around us as a result of low moral values. And as a result of this, countless stds abound even the ones that never existed before.. I, for example, have zero tolerance for cheating. I love my wellbeing and my health soooooooooo much that i cannot put up with it. I can't even stand the sight of sucha man so i would consider divorce since the bible allows it.

I do not always judge people who go for divorce based on very good reasons because im not in their shoes. Each one of us will decide what will be best for ourselves as long as we are happy. But when we live our lives to save face, to please people we will never be happy.

Great analysis. Easier said than done with a palpable cause to justify it.

Glad to know you uphold marriage in high esteem.

MzMariah:
Limmi jor.