Abridged version of Chapter two taken for new Ebook, "Nigerian Lessons for Single Ladies."


[size=13pt]THAT BORN-AGAIN BROTHER

Nigeria is a very conservative and deeply religious society.

The search for an ideal husband has rightfully or wrongfully led many Nigerian single women into the house of God. Ask any Nigerian single lady about what qualities she wants in her future man and you’ll definitely hear the phrase, “I want a God-fearing man.” Nigerian women love men of God, especially those that have some form of ‘secular swagger’ about them. Secular swagger here means, though this guy remains a born-again Christian, he still possesses some ‘worldly’ qualities that ought not to interfere with his spiritual life. These qualities may include wealth, good looks, confidence, finesse, charisma etc.

An ironic twist to this search for a God-fearing man is that in as much as many Nigerian single ladies want a good Christian man, they definitely will not fancy a virgin man i.e. sexually inexperienced. Most Nigerian women prefer hooking up with men that already have some form of sexual experience and not men that will have to be guided through the tunnel on wedding night.
How then can a God fearing man meet the expectation(s) of coming into a relationship with some form of sexual experience in his CV, but yet maintain the persona of an ideal Christian? This has led to the emergence of former ‘bad boys’ that have finally accepted Christ-ladies love those.
Quite a number of women may have good stories to tell about their born-again boyfriend, fiancés or husbands, but there are many more Nigerian women that have had the misfortune of discovering one very unpalatable fact-a born again man is still a MAN.
One thing I’ve learnt as a student of Political science is that most people make life decisions that are based purely on personal interests-same goes for a lot of men that choose to become born again Christians. As a single lady, if you find yourself involved with or being wooed by a Christian brother, there are many questions you’ve got to ask.
Why is he a born again Christian?

Believe it or not, there are a lot of miserable women married to pastors or deeply religious men; their God fearing husbands may not necessarily be bad people, they are just being their true selves. Most Nigerian single ladies are too reluctant in probing the lifestyle and disposition of their born-again boyfriends during courtship. It’s only after marriage that they begin to observe and discover certain peculiar traits that are anything but holy.

If you are dating a ‘born-again’ man, try as much as possible to see all sides to him, behaviour and character inclusive. Ask questions and don’t just rely on prayers.
Here’s another truth, several men choose the born-again path in order to suppress certain internal worldly vices that they either want to hide or fight. Others become deeply enthralled with religious activities all in a bid to achieve an ‘Alpha male’ status within that defined Christian community, a fit they clearly cannot achieve in the larger secular world.
During my university days, we called such men ‘Boy Chineke’. Chineke means God in Nigeria’s Igbo language.

THE RISE AND FALL OF ‘BOY CHINEKES’
As an undergraduate of the University of Lagos in the late 1990s and early 2000s, I noticed that most guys spent a large chunk of their academic years trying to fit in. There were the true born-again and ‘Efiko’ students that clearly had no interest in worldly pursuits other than their studies. Efiko is a Nigerian slang for Nerd or Geek.
We had the playboys willing to forgo their studies just to sleep with anything wearing skirts. Some of us were kind of stuck in the middle; let’s say playboys with a bit of conscience coupled with the fear of God and fear of our parents knocking us out if we failed to graduate. And then there were the ‘Boy Chinekes’.

During this period in UNILAG, there was this reign of what I’d call funky, well funded Christian student fellowships. Most of the pretty girls we tried to get our hands on always had some form of affiliation with at least one of these fellowship groups.
The ‘Boy Chinekes’ in this era were the student pastors and their holy male crew; these guys were like rock stars and exercised immense control over some of the girls we were dying for. A lot of times, these gorgeous girls were used as workers and ushers in the student fellowship. There were times my hormones got the better part of me and as a student of Political science learning earlier on to always do whatever it takes in order to achieve my interests, I gladly put my Catholic faith on hold and jumped into a few of these fellowships, just to improve my spiritual life...and get laid.[/size]


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I will tell them later

Wow ,very nice article.Looking forward to the remaining

Hmmm..........