Please excuse this lengthy story but I am seeking advice.
I have been married to my husband for 25years now we have 3 children and 2 grandkids we are in our 40’s started young with the children. We have always been very happy in our marriage and also have had our ups and down.
My husband’s job takes him to different places and I as wife have always followed. Now I am in London and he is now in Nigeria. I have been having this feeling that my husband has been having an affair but I kept trying to disregard it.
One day when I went to pick him up from the airport I used his phone to call the taxi… (Ok I own up I did snoop as well). He had texted his brother in London a ladies number, I asked what was that for he said it was nothing. I memorised the number and stored it.
Again he came to visit I realised he had been phoning and texting this lady, i asked him what is this all about he started giving me stories the girl is crazy she is stalking him I had to look at him twice, yes you are my husband but why would someone want to stalk you.
I have been praying to God to take control of this situation but it keeps getting worse. This year I wanted to go to Nigeria for valentine’s day, my husband told me his brother was going to be in Nigeria around that time why don’t I postpone my visit to another time, I said to myself, last time I checked valentine day is for couples and not siblings. I went to Nigeria, getting to Nigeria I see my brother-in-law and a lady he said this is his girlfriend my spirit didn’t really take to her, I even had to call my mum in London and tell her that there is something about this my brother-in-laws new girlfriend that is repelling me. Well I shook it off and was still happy for my brother in law that he had now found his future wife as he said, I made the girl as comfortable as I could being that she would be coming into the family I told her about the rest of the family in the UK because that’s where most of all the family are (Mother in law, father in law, siblings). Most of the time I would leave my food and drink in the presence of these people, including my husband, and go to the bathroom. (You know what I mean). Thank God, came back to London in one piece.
I still couldn’t shake off the thinking of this girl that my husband said was stalking him. I decided to go onto the famous social media and search her out, to my surprise there was a picture of my brother-in-laws new girlfriend and the so called girl my husband said was stalking him together in a picture, clicking on the picture it shows they are sisters.
I called my husband and told him, he didn’t say anything or seem remorseful, for a whole month he didn’t speak to me, he came four days ago for our daughters’ graduation and says lets sweep all that under the mat and try again, let’s not throw 25yrs away. But I think to myself how can I be in a marriage with the sister of this girl if my brother in law decides to marry her and what kind of husband exposes his wife to something like this? I am God fearing but there seems to be a but in this matter.
Thanks in advance for your comments

u mean u people strtd avin babies as early as 15yrs?....u need JESUS

We started having kids at the age of 23 for your information.

sseunth:
u mean u people strtd avin babies as early as 15yrs?....u need JESUS

she didn't say 40, she said they are in their 40s. They may definitely be in their late 40s which is above teenage.

I dont quite get your fear here, are you planning on ending your marriage b'cus the sister to your presumed sister-in-law to be is stalking your husband. All you need is for your husband to tell you the truth, the lady can't be the one stalking him and his phone log is showing him calling and texting her. A marriage of 25 yrs can only survice on trust and understanding, which communication plays a prominent role.

OP, what is really your problem now?

Is it that you can't withstand a matrimonial rivalry with a lady who is a sister to your husband's sister-in-law to be or you don't want a matrimonial rivalry with any lady at all?

If you've not been saying anything since you married him, how the hell do you wanna start disturbing him now?

Give the old guy to enjoy his life, afterall, it has been like that like forever.

No need to jump into conclusion/panick yet..... Your husband is innocent until proven guilty.
The girl in question might be doing all she can to get ur husby..You know how naija girls are with diaspora dudes*No pun intended *. But he said you should forget 'bout it and move on...I think you should.Don't let anyone ruin something you've built for good 25years.

Tolexander thanks for your response, my thing is, what is stopping my so called new sister in law to be, trying to destroy my marriage by any means so that her little sister that is having an affair with my husband can come and join her in this family.

This is a lot to stomach and I am sorry you have to go through this.

Trust issueS.. Go work on dat

jennia:
Tolexander thanks for your response, my thing is, what is stopping my so called new sister in law to be, trying to destroy my marriage by any means so that her little sister that is having an affair with my husband can come and join her in this family.

I understand your fears but if you let your fears rule you, you'll start acting insecure, and needy watching your husband's every move and I feel this will just drive him closer to that gal at the same time you should avoid pampering him to win him over he knows what he did isn't right. I say be Zen about this if you can.

jennia:
Tolexander thanks for your response, my thing is, what is stopping my so called new sister in law to be, trying to destroy my marriage by any means so that her little sister that is having an affair with my husband can come and join her in this family.

madam, i'm still a bachelor and not yet married, i may not really understand what matrimonial experiences are, so I'm sorry i may not sound intelligent to you. I will still say what is in my mind.

There is only little you can do in stopping your husband from having an extra-marital affair so far the distance is still there, most especially when a man is separated by distance as far as the equator and tropic of cancer from his wife.

Even if you come back to Nigeria to settle down with him, that won't still stop him from doing what is in his mind. The best thing i can advise you to do as an Aunt is not to care and mind whatever affair your husband can be engaging in. You've got children and grandchildren, just try to make them your companion and divert your attention to them, though it isn't easy. If you continue stalking and getting yourself busy with your husband's affair, may God forbid, you may get yourself injured or even die and Life will still go on.

jennia:
Please excuse this lengthy story but I am seeking advice.
I have been married to my husband for 25years now we have 3 children and 2 grandkids we are in our 40’s started young with the children. We have always been very happy in our marriage and also have had our ups and down.
My husband’s job takes him to different places and I as wife have always followed. Now I am in London and he is now in Nigeria. I have been having this feeling that my husband has been having an affair but I kept trying to disregard it.
One day when I went to pick him up from the airport I used his phone to call the taxi… (Ok I own up I did snoop as well). He had texted his brother in London a ladies number, I asked what was that for he said it was nothing. I memorised the number and stored it.
Again he came to visit I realised he had been phoning and texting this lady, i asked him what is this all about he started giving me stories the girl is crazy she is stalking him I had to look at him twice, yes you are my husband but why would someone want to stalk you.
I have been praying to God to take control of this situation but it keeps getting worse. This year I wanted to go to Nigeria for valentine’s day, my husband told me his brother was going to be in Nigeria around that time why don’t I postpone my visit to another time, I said to myself, last time I checked valentine day is for couples and not siblings. I went to Nigeria, getting to Nigeria I see my brother-in-law and a lady he said this is his girlfriend my spirit didn’t really take to her, I even had to call my mum in London and tell her that there is something about this my brother-in-laws new girlfriend that is repelling me. Well I shook it off and was still happy for my brother in law that he had now found his future wife as he said, I made the girl as comfortable as I could being that she would be coming into the family I told her about the rest of the family in the UK because that’s where most of all the family are (Mother in law, father in law, siblings). Most of the time I would leave my food and drink in the presence of these people, including my husband, and go to the bathroom. (You know what I mean). Thank God, came back to London in one piece.
I still couldn’t shake off the thinking of this girl that my husband said was stalking him. I decided to go onto the famous social media and search her out, to my surprise there was a picture of my brother-in-laws new girlfriend and the so called girl my husband said was stalking him together in a picture, clicking on the picture it shows they are sisters.
I called my husband and told him, he didn’t say anything or seem remorseful, for a whole month he didn’t speak to me, he came four days ago for our daughters’ graduation and says lets sweep all that under the mat and try again, let’s not throw 25yrs away. But I think to myself how can I be in a marriage with the sister of this girl if my brother in law decides to marry her and what kind of husband exposes his wife to something like this? I am God fearing but there seems to be a but in this matter.
Thanks in advance for your comments

..sweeery,quick question....r u light skin?